


You Caused It

by Dexilt



Category: Dream Team - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), mcyt
Genre: 1950, Angst, Anxiety, BLM, Backstory, Childhood Friends, Children, Conflict, Dream Smp, Dream/Wilbur, Enemies, Family, Fanfic, Finished, Fluff, GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Guitar, Happy Ending, Hurt, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ, LGBTQ rights, Lmanburg, Lmanburg but make it a riot, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Minecraft, No Smut, Old Friendship, Old memories, Police Brutality, Riots, Romance, Slow Burn, Songs, Therapy, Trauma, Trust, Twitch - Freeform, Use of Real Names, Violence, War, Wilbur Soot - Freeform, Wilbur leader, YouTube, dream - Freeform, dream team, eret - Freeform, friends - Freeform, georgenotfound - Freeform, mcyt - Freeform, miss use of power, mlm, old time, sapnap - Freeform, there is a full playlist for this fic, tommy is little brother-, two sides, wilbur x dream, will contain description of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 115,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27559921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dexilt/pseuds/Dexilt
Summary: Wilbur had one single friend growing up, a friend which he loved with his whole. A friend which one day disappeared just as mysteriously as he was.When he enters his twenties he sees all the wrongs in the world and takes a stand by joining a riot to try and stop all the unfairness from happening. His new friends by his sides as they march through town with banners- until something goes wrong and an old face show itself on the other side of the riot leaving him paralyzed and more scared than ever.A Wilbur x Dream story
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Wilbur Soot
Comments: 223
Kudos: 502





	1. I think we should Run

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again people! I am back with a new story. 
> 
> Now my plan from the beginning was to make this a Fundy X Dream story but being the queen of Wilbur x Dream fanfics seemed a little bit better. Seriously,, there are so few fanfics out there with them- it kinda makes me sad but understandable XD So if you are new here, I have written a few other fanfics and it would be awesome to check them out! 
> 
> This fanfic on the other hand will be a little more violent and a little more angsty than my previous fanfics, so I will put a small warning up for mentions of violence and such! 
> 
> Also respect everyone who is mentioned in this story. Do not try and ship them in real life or force this onto them, this is written entirely for entertainment purposes and if anyone mentioned in the story comes out feeling uncomfortable about stuff like this it will get taken down. As soon as possible. 
> 
> Now i hope you can enjoy the first chapter of this story! Take care of each other.

_ No one really knows where the boulders had come from, all they knew was that they existed there in a little pile a few meters into the woods. No one ever went there since it was hidden away from the public and kids would rather go and play among the swings and the monkey bars but not them. They would rather go to the pile of rocks and play that it was a mountain, a castle, or even a podium of some sort. There was something new every day and the two boys loved to run their imagination as wild as they could and wanted. Nothing in the world was stopping them and sometimes it felt like they were the only ones in the world. _

_ Lots of other kids had their secret bases or secret clubs, but none of them was as cool as their little place in the woods. It was just them there and no one batted an eye since the boulders fitted in among the woods. All around them were trees and on the ground, the moss grew greener than their colored pencils back at home. It looked like a fairytale in spring when the snowdrops started to grow all around them and replaced the white snow with their own white silk-like petals. It was their place and no one was ever going to take it away from them.  _

_ Neither of them remembered their first time playing in their secret spot and they did not remember how they had found each other. All they knew was that one day they had ended up here and now it was a tradition to try and meet there after school. They went to the same school but in different classes. Their schedules looked similar but not the same, but every Tuesday they would end at the same time and quickly meet up to run into the woods together, bringing their bags with them as they laughed and hurried between the trees and throwing them onto the ground.  _

_ It had just rained the day before and the smell of the rainwater still hung around them and stuck to the moss and the trees as a reminder of yesterday's events. The boulders however had gotten dry enough to sit on and not be slippery or leave stains on their clothes as they climbed among them and looked over the woods which surrounded them. They wished they could stay here forever and never go, but they knew that they had to hurry home before the sun went down or their mothers would get worried. But that was a few hours away and so they had nothing to think about but themselves.  _

_ His friend was mysterious, and once when he had asked about his name he had just looked down and gone quiet. He had avoided his eyes almost as if there was a shame over his eyes and it had worried him. It was that day that Wilbur had decided his new friend's name, a name which would not sound bad or cast any dark memories from him. He was still curious about his name though but his friend would never tell and maybe, just maybe, that was okay. They could live like this.  _

_ They were sitting on the boulders turned to each other, talking about nothing and everything all at once. They were happy and content, not feeling anything but excited and good about themselves. There was only a peaceful aura around them as they sat there, feeling like they were on top of the world and unstoppable. Nothing could stop them and nothing could hurt them. It was their territory and their land. They were the kings and the warriors here and ruled together side by side.  _

_ “Dream,” Wilbur broke their laughter and looked at his friend who was calming down from wheezing too much. His friend had always had a strange laugh and he suspected that lots of other people teased him for it because he had never heard him laugh outside of their comfort zone or when other people were around. Maybe he did not want to get bullied or maybe people were boring. Wilbur was not sure but he felt special being the only one Dream laughed around. He felt proud and happy, but at the same time, he wanted to share with the world what an amazing friend he had.  _

_ Dream tilted his head slightly to the side with a wide smile on his face, showing off the little gap in his teeth where he had just lost a tooth a few days ago. He had been quite happy and proud of it and had even shown the tooth to Wilbur who had groaned at the sight but laughed along with him. Wilbur wished he could drop another tooth soon, too. It had been a while now and he really longed to get the coin you got so he could go and buy some candy for him and Dream. Dream had shared with him and the brunette could not wait to return the favor.  _

_ “Yeah?” His voice was very high but light, not sounding like the rest of the boys but still not like the girls. Sometimes they discussed how their voices would change when they grew up. Wilbur had said he was very sure that Dream’s voice would forever stay that high and never drop in which resulted in him getting playfully knocked to the floor.  _

_ “When we get older, do you think we can get married?” He asked and Dream once again returned to his laughing state and tried to figure out if his friend was being serious or not. He really hoped he was not but judging by the painful look which stretched over his face he guessed that he was. The freckled boy brought his knees up to his chest and stopped his laughter, taking in a deep breath. _

_ “Dude, have you ever seen two boys getting married? I think that’s between boys and girls.” He said and Wilbur stood up, getting up on his feet to reach for the branch which was hanging over his head. He grabbed onto it and started swinging his body back and forth trying to think about the freckled boy's statement. The wind was blowing through the leaves above him and singing their own little song and talking to each other. Wilbur wished that he could understand the words they sang, but he knew he never would. _

_ “But can’t we be an exception? I mean does it have to be like that?” Now it was time for Dream to look a little uncertain as he tasted the words and tried to figure them out. His friend seemed to be very out of his usual mindset today but maybe that was just him. Neither of them knew how marriage worked and neither of them thought too much about it anyways. Plus could friends get married? _

_ “Maybe.” Dream stood up as well and reached for another branch, heaving himself upon it with some trouble but making his way on top of it. He grunted as his hands scraped against the tree and dirtied them down. His mother would probably get mad at him for getting himself dirty climbing the trees but he could not bring himself to care. The closer to the sky and the leaves above him the happier and freer he felt.  _

_ Sometimes he wished that he could be a bird and spread his wings and fly over the baby blue sky which hung heavy above them. God knows how he wanted to stretch his arms up and let his fingers touch against the clouds and the wings which were above him. Those white birds with their silk-like wings who carried them around the earth as if they were nothing. There were no rules among them, they lived free and no chains kept them on the ground. They had no worries and the blonde boy wished he could be just like them.  _

_ Wilbur noticed his friends daydreaming and could not help but wonder what he was thinking. No one really knew what Dream was thinking which made him a mystery in school. Lots of people liked him but quite a few were also afraid of him. Wilbur had heard one or two rumors going around about the freckled boy and he did his best to silence them. But he alone could not stop all the kids from talking and soon he was well known all over the area. The nameless boy, so they called him. Dream was not his real name, therefore they thought of him as nameless. Sometimes Wilbur thought about it, was it true or not? _

_ “I would marry you.” Wilbur mumbled and Dream turned to look down at his friend who had let go of the branch and was now standing steadily on the boulder beneath his feet. He looked serious and the big brown eyes were looking at him without a single trait of doubt in them. Dream chuckled before shaking his head and turned to look back up towards the sky.  _

_ “Why? Do you love me or something?”  _

_ Wilbur bit down on his lip before trying to reach for the branch and making his way up too. He was a bit taller than Dream and could get up a little easier than the other. However, Dream was also stronger than him so he heaved himself up easier and Wilbur had a little bit of trouble with it. Dream grabbed onto his friend and helped him to get up, dragging him on top of the branch which waved slightly with the new weight getting added on to it. Wilbur sat up and turned to his friend.  _

_ “You are my best friend. I don’t care what people say about you, you are still my best friend. Can best friends love each other?” He asked and tried to think about it. His parents had always said that they were best friends who loved each other. Was it the same for him and Dream? He was not sure about how love worked like but he knew that Dream was special to him and meant more than anyone else in the world. Or well, besides his parents of course but that did not count.  _

_ “Well if they can I guess I love you. You are my best friend too.” Dream told him and a smile bread across the brunette's face as he leaned his head on the other shoulder and looked over the woods surrounding them. He could never get enough of the sight in front of him. _

_ “So we can get married?” Wilbur asked him and Dream rested his cheek against the brunette’s head, letting the brown chocolate-like curls tickle his cheek and closing his eyes and humming trying to just stay close and keep the warmth. He felt swirls of happiness spread through his body and he just wanted to take a moment and appreciate them.  _

_ “Yes, we can. But only if you take care of the house.” Wilbur shot up with a twisted look on his face as he turned to his friend who had a big grin on him, trying to ignore the fact his friend was making to him. He looked stupid and Dream did not need to look over to know. He knows the other way too well for that.  _

_ “Not fair! I will not be your housewife!” Wilbur burst out and crossed his arms with a pout. He could not believe that the freckled boy could say such a thing. No way in hell he was going to be his personal maid as the other went out to work like they did in those bad and boring movies his parents always liked to watch. He had never liked them, they seemed to be unfair and not really too kind in nature. He really hoped the world did not look like that, but the movies had to be based on something, didn’t they?  _

_ “But you would look so cute in a dress…!” _ __  
_  
_ __ “You wish!” Wilbur muttered and Dream looked at him again before placing his lips on his forehead softly, just like they did on TV. It felt strange and a feeling of wrongness filled up his stomach, but at the same time, he liked it even if it felt like he was doing something bad. Why was it bad? He was not sure. He pulled away only to see a just as confused Wilbur looking at him. 

_ “Let’s say that never happened.” Wilbur looked down and gave a sad nod as a response. He had liked the kiss even if it felt like it was not the right thing to do. He had enjoyed it and he would never have been able to see Dream as the type to kiss him on the forehead. Only his mother did that, his father mostly hugged him or messed with his hair.  _

_ “Alright.”  _

Wilbur held the photography in his hand and traced his thumb over their faces. The two of them sitting on the branch together just a few days before Dream left town. His friend had disappeared without a word and without a trace. Even the people in school seemed to forget about him very quickly and the photo he was holding was the only thing he had left of his friend beside the necklace he had gotten on his birthday. 

On his ninth birthday when Dream had wrapped the leather band around his neck with only a little swirl hanging off of it. The boy had said that it reminded him of his hair which curled itself up quite a lot and Wilbur treasured the gift so much. It had been so many years since that and he wished he could rewind time and spend that last day with his friend just one more time. But it was in the past and he had to move on from it. There was no meaning in dwelling over the past and he should just move on. Dream was gone and he had bigger problems ahead of him. 

His friend who had never talked about moving away or leaving had left him behind and at this point, he was not sure how he felt about it. Did he really matter that little so that he could not even say a simple goodbye or had something happened? Dream would not just have left him like that, would he? Who even was he? The freckled boy never wanted to spill his secrets and all he actually knew about his friend was what he showed whenever they hung out. A personality and the touches, that was all he knew about his friend and he would never get to know more. 

Where was he now and where had he gone to? Was he still alive and was he doing well? Did he know about the things which were going on in town? Their town which had grown so much for the past years and now was barely even recognizable. What would Dream say if he knew about the things which were going on around here and all the riots which were happening on the streets? What would he think and what would he say?

Had his views changed over the years and where did they stand? Wilbur wanted to know but he would never ever in his life be able to get an answer or hear that voice again. That voice that he may not even recognize anymore and that he had a hard time trying to remember. He wished he could have just listened to his voice one more time and felt that safety that he had as a kid. He sighed to himself and trying to keep his shit intact and not let his emotions spill once again. 

He put down the photography into the wooden drawer again and closed it, letting the smell of old wood and perfume spread around him. He let out a breath he had not even known he was holding and stood up, brushing his button-up for any dust that could have gotten on it. The button-up was made out of cotton and pale blue, something he had gotten from his mother and which probably needed a wash but he was too lazy doing anything about it. 

He turned around to see a girl leaning against the doorway looking at him. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulder and she did not look like the rest of the girls in town. She did not wear those long skirts or the dresses which came in all of those strange colors and hung over the legs like a cape. Instead, her clothing style looked similar to his with a button-up tucked into her pants with suspenders which kept them up and made her look a little more masculine. The other girls usually told her she should embrace the femininity her body and face suggested, but she refused. 

Now she was standing there with a sad look on her face since she knew what picture her friend had been looking at him. It was always the same picture and even if she had not been there to see it in person, she knew that Dream had been special to Wilbur as a kid and that he was not sure where his friend had gone. She could not blame him for it but she also did not want her friend to mourn any longer. It had been seventeen years now and the male in front of her was still hung up on the whole ordeal. 

“Will…” She whispered and stood up, but the other raised a hand to silence her. 

“Don’t, I know.” He mumbled before passing by her in the hall while keeping his eyes glued to the floor. He could not meet those eyes once again as they dug into his soul trying to understand him. He did not want anyone to understand or know about it. No one remembered Dream anymore and Wilbur had never felt more alone about something than when it came to Dream. No one understood his confusion or his pain when it came to the blonde one and he did not want anyone to try and figure it out either. He did not want their pity and they had lots of other things to think about. 

He grabbed his hat which hung on a chair and put it on top of his head to hide away the curls which liked to run wild. Those curls that Dream had always seemed to be so fascinated by for some reason. Those curls that never had gone away growing up. 


	2. Give me a reason not to be on my knees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is time, the time for the demonstration is here and Wilbur and his friends has been getting ready for this for so long. But instead of having a peaceful demonstration something goes wrong, and they get met with violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> So, I may not update daily like I usually do but I will still try to keep the updates only a few days apart. However, the chapters will be longer, this one is actually over 7k long! 
> 
> Thank you all so much and holy shit i was not ready for this to get as many hits as it did that quickly. Also, its fun to see familar faces around! I am incredibly happy to have you back and i smiled so much when I saw you bunch! 
> 
> This chapter does contain mentions of homophobia, racism and police brutality. Violence is also mentioned so if any of these things trigger you, please do not proceed. Keep yourself safe, but please note that this is not focused on these subjects so its not too gruesome. But i still want it to be a warning out there. 
> 
> Anyways I hope you can enjoy this chapter and I look forward to hearing your thoughts about all of this! Once again thank you all so much and enjoy the chapter!

They had been planning this for months and today was the day, today was the day where they would march over town to spread awareness of the wrongs which was spreading among them. The brutality and abuse of power, the norms and the inequalities which ruled their everyday lives and spread around like a virus, corrupting them day after day until only hatred and fear were left. Today they were going to change it and they were going to scream at the top of their lungs about it. They were ready. 

Wilbur had been one of many who watched them beat up a man in the middle of the street just because another man had accused him of saying homosexual things, exactly what they never got to know and the man who had to live through every hit had begged and pleaded to try to say that he was innocent. That same man had died an hour later in the hospital and no one had talked about it besides how disgusting it was that someone would do such a thing, and they did not mean the violence. 

The same thing had happened a few weeks earlier when someone who did not seem to follow church had rolled into town and was immediately shut out as the devil's work. The person themselves had not done anything and Wilbur was pretty sure it was not a religion but ethnicities that had been the cause of it and he felt sick only thinking about it. The person in question could not have been older than twenty and he had never gotten the chance to talk to them before they were chased out with threats and fire. Nikki had been the one watching it happen too.

It was horrible to just sit and watch, but throwing themselves into that mess would have done more harm and they would not have been able to change a thing. It was better to do what they were doing now and gather a group of people who could be loud and scream while holding up banners to talk about how wrong and evil it was to shut down people like this. They wanted to change it and hopefully, more people would join them marching down the town road. Wilbur prayed for it to work and he knew his friends were as well. 

Tommy, a child who seemed to have gotten abandoned by his parents and gotten brought in by Phil, had never looked so angry and excited as he was right now. His shirt hung loosely over his chest and was quite badly tucked into his pants, his hair was also looking like a bit of a mess as the blonde strands fell over his forehead and his cheeks. Those eyes were shining with anger and Wilbur could tell that he was ready as he helped his friend Tubbo tie his shoelaces. 

Nikki was putting her hair up in braids which looked a little odd but really good, her hair also being a dirty blonde color which sometimes made Wilbur think that they could all be a family considering Phil also shared that gene. Wilbur, Eret, and Tubbo were brunettes which broke them away from the rest. Floris was a little hard to tell but Wilbur would probably put him in the brunette squad too even if it had some ginger hints in it. They all had this serious aura around them and none of them were talking as they fixed themselves up in preparation. 

He himself was wearing his hat which he usually wore while going outside, but he was thinking about skipping it. The necklace was hidden away underneath his shirt and the metal felt warm against his skin as his body temp heated it up. He wanted to grab onto it and clutch it into his hand like he usually did when he felt nervous but now was not the time. Nikki had already called him out on it multiple times and he did not want to show himself as weak at this moment. He had to be strong in front of his friends because they looked up to him. Even if Phil felt like the dad, he was the bigger brother in this group. 

The piece of fabric laying on the desk seemed to be screaming at him, if it was in a good way or not Wilbur was not sure but the multicolored sheet looked out of place and odd. The different fabrics he had sewed together last night looked like a rainbow which rarely hung over them in the sky and he hoped that it would help him make a statement and catch people’s eyes. He wanted people to see and think about them in a brighter way, hence the colors. He nervously took a deep breath before reaching over to grab it. 

The fabric overall felt thick, but the different types of fabrics used were pretty obvious once you held it. It felt cold and smooth, sometimes thick and sometimes a little bit thinner. It was heavy to hold up but it would not be a problem for him since he was pretty strong. He thanked his child self for all the time he had spent climbing the trees which helped him gain some of the strength he had in his arms. Maybe his work in the factory had also helped him get to where he was today. 

His coworkers would probably find out about this and he did risk losing his job over this but it would be worth it. Human rights stood above anything and everything and he would stand by that no matter what. If he lost his job, so be it. People were wrongfully being blamed and hurt for things they could not help or do something about. There was nothing wrong with them and they were trying to live their lives like any normal human beings. He was going to prove that tonight. 

Eret stood behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, looking down at the flag his friend was holding. He knew that this was the flag that would represent his friend tonight, his friend who had only ever shared his secret with him about liking both men and women. He had been a little surprised at first since he never had never discussed romantic feelings or anything similar before with his friend, but he still supported him up to a hundred. Eret could kill a man and Wilbur would still stand by his side. 

Wilbur looked up to meet his eyes and they also looked slightly worried about this whole ordeal. They all were scared of the outcomes and what would happen but they knew that they were not alone. A few other people around town had liked their idea and decided to join in on their little demonstration which they hoped could one day turn into a riot. That would have been the dream, to march together with hundreds of people towards the giant brick mansion which lay just outside of their little town. 

There sat most of the higher-ups and the police force. They had contacts that reached all the way to the capital and to the people who were in power over the law and the rules. If they got to those people there would definitely be changes made in the book and people would be able to be free without those harsh threats and punishments. Eret could be himself without risking getting beaten to the ground and Nikki would not have to meet her girlfriend in secret. Nikki had not even dared to tell them who it was and Wilbur was not sure if he was ever going to know. It was for safety and he understood why she was keeping it a secret, but he still felt a little hurt to not get to know. 

Eret smiled at him before stepping away once again and looking over the group who seemed to be more than ready to get going. Tommy was smiling and Wilbur could not help but feel proud over the boy who had nothing to do with this but was still happy to stand up for other's rights. Tubbo looked confident as all hell, almost like nothing could hurt him and that he was going to do this without hesitation. The rest of them, the little older people, looked serious but still wore soft smiles as a silent  _ we got this.  _ Wilbur himself shot back a proud smile.

He turned to look out the window where only a few people were running around this very lovely Saturday. The sun hung heavy and bright above them as a promise to watch over them as this all went down. He hoped that everything would work out and that they would get out of this safely without trouble. They knew that people would be angry at first and probably throw stuff at them such as rocks and pebbles along the road, but that did not stop the burning hope inside of his chest that one day they would join in with them and see what a fucked up society they lived in. He hoped and he prayed that the messages would get through to them. 

“Let’s go.” Phil said behind him before reaching over to open the door, leading all of his kids outside and out towards the street. It looked quite peaceful and he could see their friends on the other side of the road who looked just as ready as they were. Anthony was holding a flag in his hand which looked similar to his own and he knew that this was his fight, too. It was a fight for his rights just as it were for them and the other male looked to be so sure of himself as he gripped his fingers around them. Besides him stood the guy he had fallen in love with so many years back, protecting him and cheering him on from his side. 

Wilbur had never seen two people so happy with each other and to be honest, he was slightly jealous of what the two had. Once Dream had left he had started to try and make new friends and in all of that big mess he had met Anthony and Velvet. The two seemed to be best friends and at the time Wilbur would never have been able to guess that the two were closer than that. Now he knows the truth and the two had grown up together and just ten years ago started a bond with each other. Their dream was to one day get married without being chased out of town for it and to walk down the street holding the other's hand. It was such a simple thing to do, but they had never been able to do it. 

That had to change. 

Phil took a step out and the other people followed, walking out of the buildings and down onto the street where people started to notice that there was something going on around. The air seemed to change and people were looking at them as both men and women started forming a group in the middle of the street with weirdly colored fabrics and big signs which for now was turned around to avoid starting the protest at once. They looked at each other and nodded, now was the time. This was it. Come what may.

Wilbur was one of the first people to throw his fist up in the air to show off the flag, only Eret and Anthony following his lead behind him and holding up their own flags into the sky which were getting captured in the wind. They looked like wings in the sky and the colors felt like safety and like their own pride. Not everything was black and white and this is what they were going to scream for everyone to know. This was their time and change was about to happen. Phil stood in front of them as he lifted his own sign, showing off the words printed on them.

Now people were rolling their eyes and laughing as more walked out from the buildings to look at the mass of people who were protesting. They did not look pleased but a few here and there seemed to be hiding away in guilt. The reactions were something Wilbur had a hard time taking in, how they just stood there and stared while silently being their mean selves. It was sick and made Wilbur only want to push further and spread their sayings even more. 

“Equality, or nothing.” Wilbur started. “If you cannot include your neighbor, then you cannot include yourself.” He could almost see how Tommy was punching the air behind him as he screamed the words out over the street, stepping up to stand next to Phil who put a hand on his shoulder to make sure Wilbur did not stop. He could not stop. He had to convince them and he was going to do it now, it was now or never. 

“Freedom for the people who have to suffer in silence because you are too afraid to accept them. They are your friends, just because they love someone that you do not agree with does not mean you have the right to shut them down.” He started and he really hoped he could keep his voice as loud as he could right now. He desperately tried to ignore the people who were now starting to look more and more threatening for every second that passed them by. They would not hurt them for this, would they?   
  
“Freedom for the people who do not look like we do. We should embrace them and welcome them, for they are like us. They are our brothers and our sisters too. Their looks or their beliefs makes them not less valuable than yourself!” The group behind him cheered as they raised their flags, their fists, and their signs which backed up his message, and for once Wilbur felt proud over himself. Everyone was listening which was a strange thing, but a good one. He was doing it, he could do it. 

“For equality!” Phil shouted and Wilbur felt his heart jump inside of his chest as he turned to the other male beside him and he looked out over the people around them. One or two people ran out to join them and he smiled, feeling happy even though it had just been a small number of people. But anyone was good enough, now there was a bigger obstacle in front of them and that was to get through to the people around them. 

Some people looked like they were ready to start a fight and it scared him, but no matter what he was not about to yield and go down. This was his fight and his friends' fight. It was their fight to restore human rights and he was not going to step down just because some townsmen stared at them with pure evil in their eyes. The wind flew around him and he had never felt more alive than he did right now. 

“You kids are nothing but a bunch of rats, speaking as if you were God himself.” A man stepped forward and closer to them and Wilbur felt all of his nerves start to round themselves up and become awake inside of his body. Only he and Phil seemed to notice him since the rest of the group was too busy making themselves heard and showing off their own words. The man in front of them was someone Wilbur had seen a few times on the street, but he was not sure of his name or who he actually was. 

He seemed to be maybe around his late forties and he had quite a beard together with a dirty hat on top of his head. He looked quite old but he was very sure that man was not over fifty judgings by how smoothly he could walk around without any troubles. He was tall, but not as tall as Wilbur. He looked mad as he mocked them and everything inside of his stomach turned as the man approached closer to him, making the brunette want to take a step back to avoid having his personal space invaded. 

The town was full of noise at this point and the cheering and yelling seemed to melt together but he did not want to turn around to look since he was in a staring contest with this man. He felt sick being called out and made fun of just for trying to show that everyone deserved rights. But no, this probably straight middle-aged man with his skin pale as the moon had to step up and talk them down as much as he could which in reality only proved the points by this protest. Wilbur bit down on his lip trying to not get blinded by the sun which stung in his eyes. 

The sweat was forming on his skin and the flag still in his hand suddenly felt a lot lighter than it had before and he had to stop himself from hitting the man in the face with it. They were not here to start a fight or try to cause any harm. They wanted to do this peacefully and only use their words to show their point about this whole thing. Not a single finger would be laid on the people they were trying to reach out to unless their life came to depend on it. Wilbur hoped that it would not get to that point and an urge to run and try to find Tommy and Tubbo filled his chest. 

The thought about someone hurting them made him want to start a fire, such innocent boys who only wanted good in this world. Hopefully, they did not have to go against people like this or that the people who seemed to be ready to start a fight let the two boys go. However he had to give them credit for one thing, and that was being strong and smart together. When those two were together nothing could beat them and Wilbur would lie if he said he was not jealous of what they had. In a way, they reminded him of him and Dream all those years ago. 

“All we want is equality sir, and if I remember correctly that’s exactly what God wanted too.” Wilbur shot back and the man's face scrunched up in disgust and hatred, a face which almost struck fear in his chest. How much hatred did it take to make someone wear that face in the name of equality? What did someone have to go through to feel that disgusted by their own people and their own sort? Nothing made them less equal but this man seemed to have a stick so far shoved up his butt that he could not see what words and actions he was spreading around himself. 

Wilbur took a step back and Phil flinched beside him as the man pulled out a knife from underneath the thin jacket he was wearing. None of the two had noticed it there before and they felt stupid for not understanding that this would happen and now it was too late. The knife was reflecting the sun with its crystal clear metal which shun while getting tilted and showing off its sharp edge. It could not have been a long time since it had gotten sharpened and cleaned off with how new it looked, the only evidence of it ever being used before was small scratches here and there which indicated that it had been a close friend to the man in front of them. 

His smile was twisted as he pointed the blade towards Wilbur, those eyes seemingly going black in what could only be described as pure rage and anger. The amount of hatred was terrifying and Wilbur was not entirely sure what to do in this situation. His whole body was shouting at him to run, to get out of there as fast as possible, and hide away. But another part of him told him to stay and to fight back even if he had no weapon to use. At this point, it was his pride that made him stay and continue to hold his glance at the man in front of him. 

“In what world do we have to live in to make you use violence against me for only wanting the best of people around us and following the words of the bible?” Wilbur’s words felt like poison as he hissed them out and he had to stop himself from clenching his fists or try to turn the whole thing around. He was not going to fall as low as this man was doing and he would stand by his own beliefs. 

“You listen here you little shit!” The man screamed out before jumping at him, the knife high in the air and aimed right at his shoulder. Wilbur felt like his body moved on its own as he jumped to the side and managed to use his legs to make the other trip over in his attempt to jump him. Lucky his legs were long enough to reach and the male fell onto the ground with a deafened ‘thud’, falling face-first into the stone road which was covered in dirt and dust. 

Other people who had been standing around them gasped as they looked at Wilbur, and some women grabbed their kids to avert their eyes and try to take them as far away from the demonstration as possible in case things got too ugly. The kids were protesting and claiming to be strong enough to watch it, but their mothers would not budge and quickly hurried away. Wilbur bit his lip as the other people’s faces turned into disgust while looking at him. 

It was not fair, he had only defended himself without actually doing anything harmful. He had a knife coming towards him and all he did was make the predator fall towards the ground without using any type of force. But still, he was viewed as a monster by the bystanders only because of the things he believed in. It was twisted and the rage-filled up his chest by the society they lived in. Is this really the world he had gotten born in? Is this really what he had to live with every day for the rest of his life? 

Wilbur tried to ignore the man who was now trying to get back up again and walked away from him to hurry towards his friends who held up their banners and shouting at the top of their lungs to make their voices heard. Flags and signs were flowing all around him and the brunette felt himself get lost in the wind of it all, colors and different voices swallowing him up and drowning him in the middle of the group of people he was standing in. His eyes scanned around him but his mind felt dizzy as he tried to take it all in and understand what was going on around him. 

It was scary and he was not entirely sure what was going on or what was happening anymore. Things were getting out of hand and what they thought would be met by empty stares was turning to prove itself wrong. Instead of words and rocks being thrown at them weapons had suddenly started to get dragged out to try and silence them. People were trying to scare them silent and it made him feel sick to his stomach and he felt the panic rise inside his chest as his friends' screams still filled his head. 

He felt like he had gotten drugged somewhere along the way or that he was having a fever dream. Maybe it was the adrenaline hitting him from almost getting stabbed only a few seconds before or maybe it was the rush he was feeling from where he was and what was going on around him. He felt like he had to run or rush, and the flag was getting dirty from being dragged around on the ground behind him. He could see Nikki holding up her sign and looking as if she was unharmed, but trying to run out of the mass and hold her sign up high as to reach the people who were watching. 

Anthony was holding up his flag into the sky, tears forming inside his eyes as he tried to stay strong and fight the hatred and the slurs getting thrown his way. Wilbur knew that his whole reputation could be destroyed by this but still the smaller male was standing his ground and trying to be who he was without taking in all the hate coming his way. Eret was right behind him, supporting him and silently cheering him on. 

No matter where he looked he could not see Tommy and Tubbo, and that frightened him. He had made a promise to himself that no matter what he was going to stand by Tommy’s and his friends' side and protect them from any harm that could happen. Tommy was not his biological brother, but he might as well be with how much Wilbur cared about the boy and would get out of his way from him. 

Sure, they had fights and teased each other with no end in sight and often had to call in Phil to help try and solve whatever it was they were bickering about, but it did not mean he did not care for the blonde boy. Tommy had been so lost and so lonely when he had found him left to die in the woods all by himself, huddled up by a tree with only one set of clothes and a fake gun he had used to scare off people who wanted to come close. 

He had been so small and thin as he huddled up to the tree and it was a mere accident Wilbur had managed to stubble up upon him. Tommy had at first been cautious around the tall man and felt frightened, but after getting offered some fruit and bread he had started to trust the brunette more and more until he agreed to follow him into town. Wilbur had only been around nineteen at the time so he did not really look like the scary type, but he still felt like it was a miracle Tommy had agreed to come with him to the apartment he shared with some of his friends. 

Tubbo was one of the outcasts in town and often liked to follow them around, so when a new kid was introduced (a kid who was also his own age) the two boys clicked immediately and Tommy had a close friend in the world. It was amazing to watch them grow and Wilbur had never felt so proud in his entire life as he watched the two become such good friends. Tommy however, still looked up to Wilbur and liked to be with him too which was quite heartwarming. 

But now Tommy and Tubbo had gotten lost among the people and no matter where he looked he could not find them anywhere. His heart was pumping in his chest and the glasses were slowly sliding further and further down on his nose. His eyes had a hard time focusing with all the stuff going around him and the protests were deafening him, making it even harder trying to see what was going on around him.

He was spinning and turning, his body suddenly feeling heavy but still unreal, almost as if he no longer existed and was just one heavyweight floating around in the middle of a fire. There were so many people surrounding him, some faces he recognized and some faces he did not. It was confusing him and the fear of losing Tommy or Tubbo to someone just like the man who had attacked him made his throat hurt and his fingers tingle in anxiety. 

“Wilbur!” He heard someone screamed and he turned around, being met with the familiar face of Tommy who was dragging his friend behind him. They looked fine besides a small bruise forming on Tommy’s cheek and being quite tired but still, Wilbur could not calm himself down as he rushed towards the boys and took one good luck at them. 

“Don’t even disappear again like that! You fucking idiot Tommy!” Wilbur scolded him before laying an arm around the boys, watching as people ran for each other in the crowd. 

This had meant to go peacefully and they had been ready to take a few pebbles getting thrown at them, but people rushing to try and tear their signs apart had never crossed their minds. Some people tried to knock others to the ground only to cause harm and ruin whatever it was they were trying to do. Wilbur had no idea when it had turned into this mess, he swore he had only had his back turned to them for a second while trying to fight off the man who had held a knife to his chest. Why had this happened?

Tommy and Tubbo did not say a word as Wilbur scanned around them, trying to find a way out of the mess and move away from the crazy townspeople. Never would the man have guessed that they would have gotten attacked, and it almost felt like people had known they were coming and that this demonstration would happen. But they had not told anyone on the outside about this so how was that even possible? Had someone said something or how had the word gotten out? 

Wilbur shook his head before grabbing onto Tommy’s wrist and pulling him out of the whole mess, making sure that the blonde boy was holding tightly onto his friend. He had to get them out of here, they did not deserve to be put in this spot like this. They were sixteen for fuck sake, the fact that they had even joined was dangerous in itself but the two had insisted on it. Wilbur felt his mouth get filled up by the taste of iron from biting into his cheek too hard, probably drawing blood from the stress he was putting on himself. He should never have agreed to let them join, they could have gotten seriously hurt. 

Once he managed to get out of the biggest mess and to the side of the street where fewer people were, he could see that just a few meters down the street horsemen were arriving and he could only assume that it was the police force which had gotten informed by the fight happening in town. 

Wilbur’s mind was set and he was sure of it now, someone had spilled information about this demonstration happening and false information had gotten out there. The police force would never have come on horses this early for a demonstration and not this many either. They knew about this beforehand which could only mean that someone had told about this and said that it would be violent and bloody.

It was never even meant to get bloody, they were just going to go out for a few hours and try to talk about the wrongs and downsides of how people acted. They were never going to use violence and they were never even going to try this hard about it. Sure, they had suspected and even prepared to be met by backlash but this was insane. What were people even fighting for? What had been the outbreak for all of this and what was the reason behind this mess? 

The police were here, and Wilbur knew that they would not side with them since the police was quite the reason behind their demonstration too. Their abuse of power as they swung their bats and came on their horses while trying to detain ‘justice’ was sick to watch, the way those men could point to whoever they did not feel good about and throw them into jail or manipulate them into getting what they wanted. Wilbur had seen multiple times how policemen arrested both gay people and people who had a different tone in their skin or a different look. 

“Go, run! Get out of here.” Wilbur shouted at the boys as he saw the police approaching, knowing that they were most definitely going to detain anyone who had been participating in the demonstration. Tubbo and Tommy were not going to follow them into that or have some stinky old man with too much power in his hands try to guilt-trip the two boys or hurt them. He knew what they could do, and the two boys were not ready to have to be in that situation. 

“But Wilbur-”

“Go!” Wilbur pushed Tommy to try and make him understand the situation and that this was serious, and even so Tommy did not seem to want to go. His eyes looked sad and worried as he stared at the man he had looked up to for so many years trying to push him away from something they had been preparing for so many weeks. Maybe even months. His eyes were speaking so many words that were left unsaid but the boy seemed to swallow them as he turned to his friend and muttered a small ‘let's go’ before rushing out of the crossfire and back to safety. Wilbur sighed in relief before turning back to the policemen who jumped off their horses and made their way into the crowd. 

Lots of people tore themselves apart from each other and calmed down at the sight of the men dressed with battens walking in among them. Some people did not seem to notice them and kept their fights going which resulted in the police grabbing them and tearing them apart, hitting them, and forcing them onto the ground or at least away from each other. It was terrifying to watch people he knew get forced to the ground, but most of his friends seemed to have backed away. 

All besides Nikki. 

She was still standing proudly in front of Eret who was holding onto his flag. He looked hurt and a small cut had formed itself on top of his cheek and Nikki was screaming at the police to back away and to stop their brutality, something which was not getting accepted among the police force. Wilbur could feel his fright spread in his body as he watched his best friend stand up like that. She looked so small but also so strong, her hair which had previously been in braids had now come undone and the blonde hair was swaying behind her in the wind. She looked powerful and he had never felt more proud over her, but also never so scared for her well being. 

The crowd seemed to grow quieter as they stared at her, Eret slowly getting to his feet again and standing tall once again behind her. His eyes were glued onto the men who were smirking at his friend, looking down upon her. It made Wilbur sick, how fucking dare they. They were looking at her as if she was prey and Wilbur was not about to stand by and watch that happened. He had to act, his whole body screamed at him to intervene and  _ act. _

One man who was dressed in the typical police uniform raised a hand to her and she did not look like she was going to move anytime soon. The policeman tilted his head to the side and Wilbur could not hear what he was saying, but judging by Nikki’s expression he guessed that it was not something that was good. His legs seemed to move on his own as he rushed over, getting in between the police and his friend. 

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Wilbur hissed as he grabbed onto the man's arm midswing, stopping him from hitting his friend and protecting her for the hit she seemed to be willing to take. The fact that he had gone for her was sick and Wilbur was not going to have it. His blood was boiling and all of his nerves seemed to be alive and more awake than ever. His body hurt but he had never felt this powerful or brave in his whole life. He was doing it, he was finally showing these pigs that they could not do whatever they wanted. 

“And who are you, protecting your girlfriend?” The man laughed before turning around towards his coworkers who quickly jumped on the train and followed straight into the laughter, mocking him. All of the other sounds had seemed to go quiet and all he could hear was the men in front of him talking. The whole world had seemed to disappear around him and all he could focus on was this, whatever it was that was happening. Nikki flinched behind him. 

“No wait I forgot, you are all a bunch of stinky homos aren’t you?” 

Wilbur could not keep himself in check anymore. 

He threw himself at the man, jumping onto him and grabbing onto his shirt, and tackling him to the ground. He could hear Nikki shouting behind him but he decided to ignore her and lock eyes with the man who was only smirking at him in a disgusting and evil manner. He had gone too far, it was never right to say such a thing, and that he was police made the whole thing even worse. He was supposed to side with the beaten down and the hurt, but instead, he was standing tall and powerful using his privileged ass to abuse his power and doing whatever he wanted. It was sick to watch and hear, and the fact that he had done it to his friends made him all just the angrier. 

He guessed that Eret had dragged her away because he never felt her body against his trying to pull him up from doing something stupid. He was only making eye contact with the police and staring at him and it felt like time was moving in slow motion as he put his hand over the police officer's mouth, trying to shut him up and not utter a single word more. 

“You fucking pig.” He hissed and the man underneath him flinched, his face turning expression and suddenly a pair of hands were being put on Wilbur’s arms, pulling him away from the man with such force that Wilbur was not sure if he was a feather or not. He was pulled off and thrown onto the street, landing on his back making his eyes shut for a second as the pain spread through his body. 

His eyes fluttered open again and he tried to focus on the face which was looking down on him, but the pain filling his body made it harder and he tried to ignore his head who screamed from being hit into the ground. His arms ached and he tried to move his legs to get the man off of him but he would not budge. The sun was not helping him either and blinding him with its strong light, but soon he managed to get used to it and blinked a few times before focusing on the figure above him. 

His ears were ringing but he could not feel anything running out of them which meant that he was not bleeding and was probably fine. His eyes focused on the man and slowly his features were getting more and more visible the longer he looked at him. 

He was more than a police officer that was for sure, so a higher force must have been called in which felt quite weird considering that there was only a demonstration going on. Maybe the man had been here on a check-up just as the demonstration broke out and that he had rushed to help the police to put a stop to it? At least he was very strong and obviously trained for situations like this since Wilbur could not get himself free no matter how much he tried. At least he could still breathe even if it was slightly harder to do so. 

Blonde hair was falling over his face and it seemed to be longer than most people kept it. His face was shadowed but he could tell that he had green eyes with some hints of brown in them together with some faded freckles spreading over his cheeks. His eyes looked mad, or as if they were in pain almost like it was hard for him to do this which struck Wilbur as weird. Until he decided to look a little closer. 

His face was sharp, but not too masculine and some round forms were still filling his features, especially around his cheek area and around his eyes where he looked to be soft. If he was not wearing that expression Wilbur would have guessed that he looked quite a nice man and that something had gone terribly wrong for him to have this sort of job. He looked like he would fit better in handy work or even taking care of animals on a farm. He looked to be kind behind that expression, and that sparked something inside of him. 

Wilbur’s body went cold and it felt like he froze up as he stared into those eyes who were looking back at him with that painful stare in them. He recognized those eyes and he remembered those freckled cheeks, even if they had faded and were almost gone by now. He had truly changed but the years had been mostly kind to him and he had not changed too much in his looks. He looked more handsome and grown-up, but Wilbur guessed that he must look like that to him too. 

The words dried out in his throat and all that left was a quiet pained noise as the puzzle pieces fell into place. He got confirmation in those eyes even though it was a quiet one. He would never have guessed that they would meet again, less that they would meet in this way. But it was true and he was back even if he was on the wrong side of history he was back in town and he was here. Why was he here? Why was he doing this?   
  
“Dream?” He finally managed to breathe out. 

“One more word and I will make sure you’ll _never_ speak again.” Wilbur shut his mouth at that and fell limp underneath his old childhood friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me so long writing the beginning of this chapter- like jesus christ you would not believe how hard it was. 
> 
> Also i am a sucker for the sleepy bois family aura and i think thats noticable whenver i write, but what can i say? I really like it <3 
> 
> Dont forget to leave a comment! They really help to get motivation to write chapters like this and I would never have gotten this far without you guys. Now take care of each other and have a lovely night/day!!  
> Love you all <3


	3. I was gonna run to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream takes Wilbur in for interrogation, and old memories and fights spring to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> For those who have read my other fics, you know how bad I am at sticking to what I say.  
> But I do not want to disappoint you all and I get so happy to see the comments and hear your thoughts that I cannot stop writing. I really want to make you all proud lmao. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you can all enjoy this chapter! Once again it has mentions of homophobia so if that is something you feel uncomfortable with I advise you to not read. 
> 
> Otherwise, happy reading :D

He had only remembered his eyes as soft and green like the trees just as they had started to bloom out, never would he have guessed that they could carry such a coldness in them. It felt like he was looking into a blizzard whenever he glanced over to the green eyes he had seen so many times in his dreams. Maybe he had remembered them wrong or maybe the color had changed over time as he had grown up to be who is today. Those green emeralds which haunted him whenever he closed his eyes were nowhere to be found as the dirty blonde scanned the area around them before throwing his old friend into an empty room, not even trying to be careful. 

Wilbur felt like a doll as he got thrown into the room as if he were nothing. It was impressive how strong he was even if he had had that ability ever since they were kids. Maybe he had trained a lot over the years to make him get to where he was today and Wilbur was not sure if the image of Dream working out sat right in his mind. Never could he imagine that blonde boy doing more than what the teachers forced them to do in school or whatever workout you got from climbing the trees. He had always been good at climbing in the trees. 

He had to catch himself from not falling over as the handcuffs rattled against his skin, the chain wanting to make itself known as the metal hit metal, and a loud noise was made. He felt almost a little bit embarrassed as he stood in the middle of a close to empty room chained up as the friend he had longed for over the years was finally standing close to him. It did not feel real and he could not believe that Dream was even here, he was really here and it was not some sort of imagination or a hallucination, right? This had to be real, not even he could make this sort of thing up.

He glanced over to the man who was busy locking the door behind them and not caring about the male who was trying to figure out a way he could break the cuffs. They were tight around his wrists and they were highly uncomfortable and Wilbur wanted nothing else but to slip them off of himself. Plus Dream had nothing to fear from him anyways since he had barely even moved as they walked him away from the street and towards the police office where they had their interrogation rooms. If anyone was to fear the other it was Wilbur, god knows what had happened to the other over the years. He was still in shock after seeing the many changes which had been made. 

Dream finally turned around and looked at him quickly before turning to look at the small window which showed the other policemen outside laughing and seems to have a good time. Wilbur was ready to bet money on that they were laughing at him and his friend and the demonstration as a whole. Of course, they thought it was stupid or idiotic, it would threaten their perfect throne and their abuse of power which could absolutely not happen. He bit his lip to keep himself calm and not throw a fit or let the anger overtake his actions. He had to stay focused on this. 

Dream was wearing a black button and black pants with a vest over his chest and it was a miracle he was not getting affected by the weather. It was quite a hot day today even if the cold was often the one being in charge, it might have to do with the fact that the sun had decided to come out today and Dream should probably have taken that into consideration. He of all people should remember how hot it could get around here at times and that black simply was not the best option. Plus the vest did not seem to be exactly cold either. Was he even human anymore or had he turned into some sort of beast? 

Wilbur was not sure what to say as he looked at the man who was scanning him, looking him up and down almost as if he was searching for something or making sure he was not armed with any weapons. The brunette almost felt like he had been stripped of his clothes and that his naked skin was out in the open and for Dream to see. He did not enjoy that feeling at all and had to fight the urge to try and break the others' stare or cover himself up or hide away. Dream finally returned to look at his face and the stone-cold expression still had not changed a thing. 

Whenever he imagined meeting Dream again, he had never ever imagined meeting him like this. He had sometimes laid awake at night thinking that maybe he would see the blonde trying to visit the town again and those green eyes would be exactly like they had been once he had left. Other times he imagined Dream showing up outside of his door and knocking, greeting him hello and wrapping his arms around him and just holding him tightly and let all of their emotions spill over and take over them. His daydreams were never dark, they were always soft as he imagined them meeting again and this was not living up to his expectations. 

Instead of having the blonde wrap his arms around him he was met by a cold stare, a stare he had never had on himself before and making him shiver. Was it really the same person? Had they thrown him into a war or anything lately because of the way he was acting Dream might as well have just come back from the war. This did not feel like those cheesy books they had been forced to read in school about men returning back home from the war to meet their lover and their children again. Now, this was not a romance novel, so of course, that would not happen. But at least a hug or a softer glance would have been nice. 

Dream sighed before nodding towards a chair that was standing by a table, urging Wilbur to sit down so that they could talk. Was he really gonna do this? Ignore all of their history and have a full-on interrogation right after meeting each other again? Had Dream even missed him? After all those years of missing his friend, he had hoped that his friend would have missed him too or at least thought about it in some way. Right now Dream almost looked like he was having an inconvenience needing to put up with the brunette. 

A pain blossomed up inside his chest as he walked over to sit in the chair, the cold and hardwood being uncomfortable against him. Dream sat down on the opposite side of the table and avoided the look in his eyes which made the pain just grow stronger. He was not sure if it was anxiety or not filling him up like this, maybe it was a disappointment? Maybe it was the fact that he felt like Dream hated him- something Wilbur did not enjoy at all.

Is that why he left without saying goodbye because he hated him? But then why would he give him the necklace the day before leaving and being so kind towards him? Had something happened or was it all pretend? What was real and what was not at this point- Wilbur could almost feel a headache creeping up on him trying to figure it all out and so he tried to let go of his thoughts and focus on the problem at hand. 

“What is the whole demonstration about?” Dream’s voice was cool and collected, cold with no emotions showing themselves as he spoke. It hit him hard but he had to ignore Dream right now, he had to ignore that it was him even if his whole body was aching to reach over and pull the other male into a hug. God knows how much he wanted to just feel his skin again or hear the normal tone in his voice and see those green soft eyes who always held so much admiration. For what? That was a mystery only Dream knew about. 

Wilbur leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, staring at the male who was looking down on the papers he had laid out over the table with a pen in his hand. He was going to write down everything he said so he knew he had to be careful with his words here, even if it would not matter since it was the police. In their eyes there was only wrong and even more wrong- nothing could make them see this from a different perspective. 

“Equal rights.” He deadpanned and he could see the small movement in Dream’s hand, the little twitch which only proved his theory about it all. Something had happened to Dream. 

The Dream he knew would stand up for the underdog and even if he was a little wary about things like these he was never truly against it. He just wanted to live his life and be free, free from all judgment and free from the eyes of others. Never would Wilbur have guessed that his friend would end up here like this, never could he had foreseen that this would happen. Was this really his friend or was this some sort of new version of him? Was he really against all of this?   
  
“Offenders do not deserve equal rights, what are you fighting for here?” Wilbur could feel his blood run cold and his whole body tense up as his eyes tried to search for any evidence that Dream was uncomfortable saying these things. But that man was as cold as a rock and nothing betrayed what he was feeling or thinking right now which made Wilbur feel an itch inside of his brain. What was happening? Why was he like this and who in the hell had managed to brainwash him like this? He could not be doing this willingly or have come to these conclusions himself, that was impossible. Dream wouldn’t. 

“They are not offenders, they are people like us. You just need to look beyond your angled version of things and see the truth.” This time Dream actually looked up from his papers and met his eyes and Wilbur felt his whole chest start to hurt once they did. He forgot how to breathe and that feeling of Dream looking straight through him returned and he was not sure if he liked it very much. Could he just look away? Turn his head around or anything? The answer was no and Wilbur was left to stare into the dark, empty eyes. 

The pen let out a clicking noise as it was laid onto the table and Dream leaned over the table, getting way too close for comfort for the brunette who really felt like things were going straight to hell. He was almost (just almost) getting scared of the other and he was not sure what he was capable of anymore. Dream could probably kill him quicker than he would have time to blink and he looked like he would do it without hesitation. Was it hatred or was it a mask? What had happened during all of those years?

“Maybe you should stop believing that everyone in this world is saints, Wilbur.” His name rolled off his tongue as poison and Dream might as well have just stabbed him in the chest to replicate the pain he was feeling right now. His head was spinning and the room felt cold, the hairs on his arms probably standing up to try and protect himself from the cold air which was flowing around him. Dream’s words were echoing in the back of his mind and he wished he could erase them, or at least know the cause behind these sayings. 

Dream had been a good kid. He had never gotten into any fights and he had never really hurt anyone. However he was quick with his words and above average when it came to intelligence, the teachers had always liked him a little more because of that even if they found him strange. But he never used this in any other way than to defend himself or others and never once in his life had he tried to discriminate. He was caring, especially when it had come to Wilbur. No one even wanted to dare try and hurt the brunette unless they wanted to have a Dream on their tail. 

“What happened to you?” 

The question hung heavy in the air and this time Dream did not even flinch his fingers or let his eyelids flutter shut from his words. His expression stayed the same and at this point the brunet was sure that he was actually talking to a stone rather than a person judging by the way he was acting. He was not sure what to do with this since Dream had always been the smarter one between them. They both knew that Dream was the one who would get around the other and use words to get where he wanted to go. Wilbur stood no chance, but maybe he could do at least something to him. 

It felt like the seconds were passing by slower than they had ever done before. The silence was heavy around them as Wilbur patiently waited for an answer and Dream kept looking at him with his cold and dead eyes. They lacked the little glint and the light they had had in them once they were small and Wilbur swallowed hard as he looked at the ice. Was he still in there somewhere or was this a whole new person? Was the boy he had spent all those years out in the forest with really gone and out of this world? He did not want him to be, but he was losing hope more and more. 

Wilbur was not even the type of person to get too emotional. Some people could view him as silent and dead in his responses while talking about different things. But even so, he was kind and caring and tried his best to be there for people as much as he could. Finding the friends he had today had really helped him along the way and he almost wanted to say that they were the reason he was who he was today. Especially Phil, Tommy, and Floris who felt almost like his own family. Without them, he would not be sitting here and he would most definitely not be leading a god damn demonstration through town as if he was a leader. 

“I grew up, I can’t say the same about you.” Dream sighed and rubbed his temples. “You still have all those childish beliefs of yours. It’s sad if anything else.” He continued and Wilbur felt how his eyes stung, wanting to tear up but he was not about to let himself be weak in front of Dream. He was wrong and he knew it, it was sad to hear it all and he knew he could turn this around so quickly.

But this was not just an old conversation between two long lost best friends, this was a conversation between a higher-up and a normal citizen who in this room was viewed as a criminal of some sort. Wilbur had actually no idea what the accusations against him were and it felt like the cops were doing an absolutely horrible job at this. It might as well be daycare where they had played these sorts of games all the time and he would notice no difference besides that now, everything was not just imagination. People really were this stupid outside of their games, too. 

He wanted to throw back the poison and he wanted to spit back on Dream just like it felt he had done to him. He wanted to give back for making his chest ache and his head spin like this. But he could not since that would probably only get him in deeper trouble than he already was, maybe even make it worse for his friends who he hoped had gotten away from it all and were safe with each other. God knows how he prayed for the two boys to be safe as well, knowing how easy they could get in trouble. 

He had not looked around himself as they led him away since he had been too busy dwelling on the whole Dream thing- and now he kinda regretted it. He had no idea how Nikki was doing or if Eret was going to get himself treated for the wounds he seemed to have received flying his flag around in happiness. He had not seen Phil but he was pretty sure he had been watching the whole thing and probably been held back from interfering by Floris. He had watched Tommy run away with Tubbo, but if they had returned he was not sure. He really hoped that they had not and stayed inside. 

Dream scoffed before leaning back in his chair making Wilbur feel a little more relieved that he did not have to feel the other so close anymore. His personal space was no longer getting invaded and he wished to keep it that way. Dream could stay the fuck away from him right now. This was honestly sickening to just sit here and listen to him. 

“We got information beforehand that this would be a violent demonstration and when we showed up it seemed to have just started. How many of you were armed?”

“Dream what the hell do you honestly think we would arm ourselves?”   
  
This time Dream was not as good as hiding his emotions however and his whole body twitched and for a second those eyes flashed with something he was not sure how to describe. It was almost like something had triggered inside of his mind or as if something had sparked up inside of him. It was only there for a few seconds and if he had not been focusing on it he would have missed it pretty easily, but now he had seen it and Dream was desperately trying to hide it once again. But it was too late.

Wilbur was not sure what it was he had done but he felt proud that he had managed to make something happen at least. He had finally managed to get underneath the skin of the other, and gotten a reaction out of him, it was not much but it was something. It was one step closer to figuring this whole mess out and maybe get out of it. 

But then again, where did he want to go with this?   
  
He had missed Dream, but he had missed the Dream that he used to be and they were not the same person anymore. The guy in front of him was a man full of hatred and coldness who as of now seemed to care about nothing but himself and whatever status they had handed over to him. Did he really want to get to know this version of him or was it all a cover-up? He wished that it was and he really hoped that when no eyes were on them Dream would show his true self, the one he was when they were younger. But was that even possible? Was he still in there? 

He wanted to hug him, he wanted to bury his face in his neck and ask about what had happened and why he had left and he wanted to tell him about all the things that had happened after he left. Wilbur lived such a different life now from what he did when they were younger and he wanted to let the other in and maybe make him a part of his life again. Dream had been his everything, but as things looked now all of that was a mere fantasy, a string of hope he could never live on. Basically, he was fucking fucked. 

“You are not to refer to me like that. And secondly, there were obviously acts of violence there. I am not to believe that people on the sides just decided to fight out of nowhere.” Dream picked up his pen again and the brunette watched him, knowing that he had gotten at least one point. Now he only had to figure out how to get underneath his skin even more. 

“That’s only what you want to believe. We wanted no violence, we were threatened because people like you cannot accept being wrong about things. You all just love your privileges so much that even the thought of giving it up scares you into hurting others.” Wilbur shot back and felt quite proud of himself that he had managed to get it out so well considering that his mind was running rampage. He just had to keep it up, Dream could not fight him forever. It would be an abuse of power, but that was not something unusual. 

“Then how did we get information about it being violent and then showing up to just that?” Dream looked up from the paper and he had an eyebrow raised and for the first time in his life, Wilbur really wanted to just hit him in the face or wipe that smug expression off of his face. He was getting angrier for every second that was passing and his emotions were once again threatening to take over him. But he had to keep himself calm and collected. 

“People say a lot of things, and then they start things to prove it. Honestly, we wanted to spread love and safety for others. Do you think that we would use violence, then? It would go against our morals and what we stand for. I thought you were smart.” Dream sighed as he continued to write down on the papers and Wilbur felt himself winning this. There was nothing Dream could say to try and twist the story around. He could try all he wanted and he would never get what he wanted. 

Dream stood up, which made Wilbur feel a tinge of confusion spread throughout him as he watched the blond walk over to the blinds and turn them, hiding away the police’s questioning looks and curious eyes. But if Dream wanted to stop them from looking because it was distracting or not, Wilbur was really not sure. He guessed not judging by the way that he was walking. He seemed to be stressed out and Wilbur smiled to himself proudly. 

Wilbur sat still in his chair and studied the other in his every movement, trying to figure him out and relearn his actions to read him easier. He wanted to know Dream again so that he knew what strings to hit as to reach out to him and he was going to do everything in his power to get there. If he had to play an asshole he would play an asshole. Dream was already being one so hopefully, he would not mind it. 

“Okay, look.” He started before turning back to the brunet sitting in the chair looking a little too proud over himself. The blond once again did not change his expression but his voice picked up a darker tone and it almost vibrated in the air and hit Wilbur like a bus. His voice had really changed a lot since they were kids and even though it felt weird to hear him talk in a different vocal tone, it almost satisfied him. It was sick but his voice reminded him so much of the old Dream but a more grown-up one and more mature. It was bad, and he knew it. It was really bad. 

“Whatever it is you are trying to do, stop it right now. It will get you nowhere. Talking about rights for people who don’t even deserve it. It’s disgusting Wilbur, I would never have thought that you fall this low.” Dream could just have straight out called him ugly and it would have hurt less than what he was saying right now and the taller between the two was losing his self-control slowly, not being able to keep himself calm around the other or hearing him talk about people like that.

It was his friends out there, he was fighting for his friend's rights and their safety. There was nothing wrong with them and he had grown up with them ever since Dream had left and never in his life had he found such an amazing group. They were so sweet and kind and loving and wanted nothing more than to live in peace and be able to love whoever they fuck they wanted. They were not disgusting and they had never done anything wrong in his eyes. They may not be perfect people but everyone had flaws, hell he would even go as far as to say that out of the group he himself might be the most problematic of them all. 

Dream was wrong, and he was not sure what had happened to make him think like this. What had people done to him to make these thoughts pop up in his head and put their roots so deep in his brain? Why was he like this and where had the kind Dream gone off too? He wanted him back, but if he had to, he would have to cut Dream down. No matter what happened his friends back in town mattered the most to him- He had managed to live with Dream only being a memory for most of his life and he would keep on living like that if he so much had to. 

“Why Dream? Why is it so disgusting?” Now it was his time to stand up and Dream followed his movements with his eyes, keeping a close eye on him to make sure the other did not try to do anything stupid. Not that he could from the beginning since his hands were chained together by the cuffs. Even if they were not Dream was a lot stronger than him and even had training for situations like these. Wilbur did not stand a chance if he tried to fight him and they both were very aware of that fact. It did not stop him from trying to look intimidating, though, using his height to his advantage. 

“They are gay, Wilbur. That’s not normal. It’s like a disease that gets spread around. I’ve been working in this field for quite a while and you would not believe the number of horrible things I have witnessed caused by the people you are trying to back up.” The words were slightly hushed and Wilbur could not help but let out a chuckle at how stupid it all sounded. 

“You really are trying to paint them up as being the bad guys, aren’t you? Well, let me tell you, while ‘your people’ are beating people to the ground, they are out there trying their best to be themselves and spread fucking love and safety around.” Dream was still holding the pen and he could see his knuckles slowly turning white from clutching onto it too hard. He was winning, he could do this. 

“What, are your friends part of this? Don’t tell me you befriended them and believe whatever it is they are saying. Only a fool would do that.” 

Nikki flashed before his eyes, her soft smile and those kind eyes who had always been there for him in tough times. Whenever he had felt down she was one of the first people to come and try and help and he had never in his life met a more wholesome person before. If platonic soulmates existed, she would definitely be his. Or at least he hoped so. He had gotten such a good connection with her and there was not a single bad bone in that girl's body and nothing in his life would make him change that train of thought. The same goes for Eret, who was overall just positive and tried to carry everyone and be there for them no matter what. He just wanted to be himself. 

Anthony and Velvet acted like any other couple, but better. They usually liked to cuddle up to each other on the couch and Wilbur had lost count of how many times he had found Velvet playing with Anthony's hair as the other was snoring on his chest. It was adorable and he had never seen two people more in love than before. It was the most beautiful thing to see and never in his life could he see them doing something bad or evil. Whatever it was Dream was referring to was wrong, or he had gotten misinformed. Dream might have seen it but Wilbur lived with it and saw it on a daily basis. Not once, not a single time, had he seen anything fucked up happening. It was actually the people in town who did those things. 

“You might have seen it, but I live with it. And let me tell you right here and right now that whatever you think you have seen, it is wrong.” He took a deep breath before looking to the side and closing his eyes, trying to gather enough courage to let it all out. 

“These people get killed for loving another human being. They get beaten up daily or thrown into prison if they ever show any signs of being different. Do you have any idea what that does to a person, Dream? Do you know what it’s like to every day wake up in fear knowing that the next victim might be you? So tell me, tell me about how they are the reason behind the evil in this world.” For a second it was quiet between the two and there was an obvious tension hanging over them, making the air feel heavy. 

Dream was still not showing too much of what he was feeling and at this point Wilbur would even pay money to at least have some sort of knowledge of what he was thinking or feeling, anything that could give him a clue. The old Dream would never have done this, he was not a bad kid. Maybe naive and a little unsure and had some questionable views on things but never straight out bad. Was he aware of what he was doing? 

“I told you to not call me that.” Dream hissed and the brunet groaned while reaching his hands up to his forehead, letting the piece of metal holding them together rest against his forehead as he tried to comprehend the absolute stupidity that was going on here. Was he not supposed to be professional about this? Maybe focus on why they were here in the first place and not play all these stupid cards. Why was he doing this? It felt like he asked himself that every other second but with how Dream was behaving, was there any blame in it? 

“Really? Well it’s your name is it not? It’s what  _ you _ wanted me to call you.” He put down his hands while empathizing with the word ‘you’, trying to get his point across as he looked at the blonde. The dirty strands of hair had grown darker and he was no longer sure if he could even call them blond, but it is what he called it when they were younger and he was too lazy in trying to change that now. 

“Things change, Wilbur. Except for the fact that you are still holding on to this fantasy of a perfect world. It is not, let me tell you that.” His voice had returned to a calmer state and Wilbur was not sure what to think about it. It felt like his mind was filled with clouds and that his brain was made out of cotton trying to understand what was happening and piece it all together. He felt exhausted and the adrenaline from before was probably starting to run out which left him in a tired state. He just wanted to go and lay down or at least drink some water. This was draining him. 

He pulled out the chair and sat down again, ignoring the blonde who was still looking at him as if he was stupid or a child. It was humiliating, to say the least, but Wilbur was too tired to even care anymore. Dream could think whatever he wanted to and he would not mind in the slightest. Or well, he would but that would be a worry for another time. Right now he just needed time for himself and to collect everything. He just needed a break. 

“Don’t tell me you are one of them.” The words were like a blizzard but it struck like lightning. Wilbur only looked down on the table and leaned his head against his hand, elbows propped up on the table. He had of course thought about it, but he had never really tried to figure himself out. Did he like boys? He was not sure. He had never been the type to try and look at other people or feel attraction to everyone who walked around him. Plus he only spent time with his friends and with no one else since they were all homophobic and racists bastards, so he never really met anyone he could start a deeper bond with. 

He found girls very pretty sometimes when they walked by, and of course, like the guy he is, he had sometimes tried to silly flirt whenever a cute girl walked by him in school. But he would be lying if he said he had never looked at a man and imagined how it would be like to be in a relationship with them. He had asked Eret about it, (since he was a little closer to Eret than Anthony and Velvet) and he had gotten some good answers. But he never really continued to think about it and suddenly he had bigger problems in his life. 

So was he one of them? He was not sure. Maybe, maybe not. But did it matter? He knew that his friends would support him either way and that they would never judge him for anything. They had always been there for him and would always be. Maybe he should try to experiment more with that kind of stuff and try to figure it out. If only it weren’t so god damn dangerous. One wrong step and you could be the next on the ‘to kill’ list which seemed to be quite the thing around here. 

“Dream, it’s still me,” he looked up again. “Even if I was, wouldn’t you still see me as me? Does it matter?” He went quiet at that before turning to look at the blinds, making sure that they were still tightly closed and that no one would be able to see what was going on in the interrogation room. Wilbur was not sure what kind of laws existed when it came to things like these, but keeping a conversation like this hidden away was probably not the best thing he could do, especially considering that they had high respect for him and viewed him as a professional. If something went wrong, Dream could probably get in deep trouble for this. 

“Yes, it does matter. It would mean you are a part of a dangerous group that could be a potential threat. Just look at what happened today.” Wilbur was not sure on what to believe anymore and the more he heard the other talk, the more his brain wanted to explode itself so it never would have to hear this shit ever again. 

“That was not us, Dream why don’t you trust me?” He was starting to get desperate and the pain was making itself more known in his voice as he spoke. He spoke louder now and Dream was standing perfectly still in his spot and watching him as if he was a monkey at a zoo. It was horrible and he wanted nothing more than to get out of there, to run away and flee far away. He silently begged for it all to be one big nightmare that he could just wake up from. 

“This is your last warning, call me that one more time.” He hissed and Wilbur tilted his head to the side. 

“Oh no, what could you do Dream? You already got me chained up and in an interrogation room. Are you going to beat me up into a bloody mess? Make me cry and scream for help and humiliate me until I would have to leave town out of shame?” He stopped for a second. “Just like you did all those years ago?”   
  
That seemed to be the last drop for Dream, and his face turned pale as he hurried over to the brunet, grabbing a hold of the chain which hung between his hands and lifted the other out of the chair and throwing him up into a standing position. However for now he kept himself from actually causing the other harm since that would not look good on his reputation. But his nerves were being struck one by one and he could feel himself slipping into whatever game it was Wilbur was playing. 

“You have no idea why I left, but now I’m glad I did. Or else I might have ended up like you.” His tone was hushed and dark, almost frightening as he spoke. Never in his life would Wilbur have guessed that Dream would speak like that, almost as if he believed he was the one deciding what was right and what was wrong. It was sickening and Wilbur could feel his heart starting to pick up its pace as he met the other’s eyes. 

“I always saw you as a good guy, Dream. Never would I have thought that you would grow into his monster that stands before me.” 

Dream grabbed onto his shirt and smashed him up against the wall with such force and strength that once he hit his back against the wall, all air seemed to leave his body. He was gasping and coughing trying to get the air back into his lungs. His lungs were screaming and it almost felt like they were on fire from the abuse they had just endured. Dream on the other hand did not seem to care in the slightest as he held the other in his place. 

“Come on now, Wilbur. Who is really in the wrong here? You are playing the role of a saint running around like a lost dog while I have earned a high ranking position.” Wilbur tried to keep onto whatever dignity it was that he had left but the pain was overwhelming him. Dream was doing this, he was really doing this. That sweet boy he had put all his trust and all his love in had turned into a man which followed the norms and the government blindly. Why? 

“I have not laid a single finger on you, but you have used force on me. Your definition of wrong must be very different from mine, because if you ask me, what you are doing right now is seriously fucked.” With that Dream let go of him, letting his shirt fall back over his chest now in a more ruffled state. It would be a pain to try and straighten it out again and he would probably get a few questions from Nikki as to how he had managed to do this. It would not be fun to try and explain this to his friends. 

“You can leave.” Dream muttered before opening the blinds again and hurrying over to collect the papers, putting them neatly back into the folder he had brought them in with, and closing it to ensure they would not accidentally fall out. Wilbur was left standing in an almost shocking state with how quickly the other had turned on him.

  
“Dream, wait-” 

“What?” Dream turned to him, sounding angry as he spoke which made Wilbur flinch slightly. The expression stayed the same. 

“We need to talk about this. Outside of here.” It felt stupid saying it, but he really needed some time with him. He just had to be with him one more time or see the Dream he knew and not with all the formal clothing and angry stares. He had to see him as a normal person once more and maybe try to convince him outside of the law. He just needed some time. 

Dream scanned him quickly for a second trying to think of a good answer or what to even think about the proposition. He knew it was stupid and that he was here to stop a riot from happening and not talk to old friends, but it was Wilbur and something inside of him was still screaming to go to him. Wilbur could almost see the war which was happening in the head of the blonde and god knows he would do anything for the other to just open his mouth and  _ say something.  _ Anything, really. 

Dream unlocked the door and waited for the other to come along. Wilbur was hesitant at first before making his way over to the blond and walk out of the cold room which smelled like sweat and old paper. Whatever air which was outside of that room felt a lot nicer to breathe and he managed to calm himself down slightly, the ache in his chest still trying to control him. 

“The exit is down on the right. You won’t miss it.” Wilbur had no idea how he managed to have such control over himself. The way he spoke and his expressions betrayed close to no emotions and Wilbur had no idea how he did that so well. Never in his life would he have been able to do it like Dream was right now and he wanted to know if it was a talent he had kept hidden away or if it was something he had learned on his journey to here. Either way, it was terrifying and Wilbur envied him. 

“Dream please.” He pleaded one last time, his voice hushed down so that no one else but the blond would be able to hear the words he was speaking. Dream glanced over to the men at the other end of the room hovering over whatever food it was they had placed out for them. He sighed before looking back at Wilbur. 

“Four in the morning, no complaints. I will see you by the oak tree.” He mumbled before almost pushing Wilbur towards the direction of the door, wanting him to get out as fast as possible without getting in any trouble. Wilbur could only follow his order and hurried out, feeling dizzy and confused about what had just happened. 

Eret better not have lied about his hidden wine stash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof this is a mess, isnt it?  
> My wrist honestly hurts from writing so much lmao but its okay dont worry.  
> Thank you all so much for the kind comments, they really make my day and tears have been shed reading them. It means a ton. 
> 
> Now I am not sure how much time i will have to write for the next two days, but knowing me i might throw a chapter up anyways. But I want to try and celebrate with my family :') So the fic wont be the first thing on my mind lmao-
> 
> but have a wonderful day/night wherever or whenever you might be reading this, take care of each other <3


	4. Conquest of Spaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream and Wilbur talk by the oak tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people! Thank you all for being here :')  
> Honestly, while writing this I started reflecting over my writing and got very insecure about this whole thing. I wanted to create something people could enjoy, I want to make you all proud so badly that I ended up overthinking. But after a few kind words, i managed to pull this chapter together!
> 
> (also unrelated to this, but my other fic has over 7k reads and it makes me so incredibly happy, never have i gotten anywhere close that number and it is sick, thank you all so much <3) 
> 
> Also thank you to everyone whos here reading this! You all are so sweet and i am incredibly thankful for you all. Your comments and messages is what keeps me going, so thank you all so much

Eret had been staring at him all day and at this point he was sure the other was on his tail trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He had not eaten anything and had been coming up with excuses and lies to escape taking care of himself and the other brunette seemed to grow worried about him. Not that he could blame them, he could understand why the other was worried and he would have been too if the roles had been reversed. He did not know how to explain it however and so he made sure to keep his secrets to himself and not spill the beans about it. 

Wilbur was curled up on the couch while holding an old blanket tucked against his chest, hugging onto it as if it was his only way of comfort. He only trusted the blanket since it could not really judge him, it was a blanket, it could not talk or think weirdly of him and so he decided that the blanket way was the right way. The blanket would be able to keep him company as he waited for time to pass until four. He only had four more hours to wait out and most of his friends had already gone to bed, exhausted from their day and in need of some rest. Wilbur however, had all his nerves on high and was too afraid to go to sleep. 

Eret was standing in the door opening looking at him with his arms crossed and a sad expression plastered onto his face, disapproving of whatever it was that his friend was doing. Wilbur knew that he looked like absolute shit, and he felt like absolute shit but there was nothing that he could do about it. This was maybe his only chance to try and talk to Dream and he was not sure how it would even work out. The blonde seemed to have a very different view on things, he was actively against what Wilbur was for and trying to fix. If it had been anyone else, the brunette man would not have hesitated to hit him in the face, hard. 

Eret wanted to say something, it was obvious. He had been trying to confront him all day or catch the other when he was alone as to avoid the gaze of their friends who were just as curious as to what had happened when Wilbur had been taken away. They were also very interested in the story about how the hell he had managed to get out of there so quickly, he had only been gone for around one or two hours at the police station and they all hoped it was a good thing. Unless Wilbur was going to face court and he did not want to share the news with them. But that could not be it, right? It was Wilbur, he must have been able to pull something at least.

They all thought highly of him, even Phil did. He was a natural born leader and a good person, always trying to do what is best for others and going out of his ways to make sure his friends and the people he cared about were safe. He had always been like that and that could not have changed in front of the cops, had it? If they thought he had betrayed them they were good at hiding it anyways, because they still seemed to be open around him and putting their trust in him.

Tommy had almost knocked him over to the ground once he returned to their community house, throwing his body on the other with his arms spread wide. He had hugged him so tightly and buried his face into his shoulder, all of his worry spewing out of him and making everyone turn their eyes to the two who seemed to be sharing a moment. Wilbur had not hesitated but to hug the boy back, incredibly glad to see that he had not been harmed in the storm. Only god knows what would have happened to him if he had not escaped when he did, and Wilbur had not even wanted to think about it. 

Sometimes he thought about if all of this was really worth it, but when he looked at Tommy or Tubbo he knew that it was. There might not be too big of a difference between them, only ten years, but it still felt like he was trying to make the world a better place for them to live in. He did not want the two to be forced to join in on a society which supported hate and built itself up around just those things. He did not want the other to learn the hate and he wanted them to be able to live free and see people as people. 

He wanted to be a role model for the two and he wanted to be someone to lean on or find comfort in. Wilbur knew they were not really brothers and that Tommy and Tubbo came from different families, but in times like these it really did not feel like it. The two had joined him in his life and he was not sure how or why, but he did not want to change a thing and he valued the two a lot. Even if he and Tommy could fight a lot he still cared for him, even when he was acting like a child and being annoying. Tubbo was easier to handle even if the two shared the same chaotic energy. He swore that those two came from the same mother. 

He hoped so dearly that the two looked up to him and that he was good for them and that he was helping to raise them into good people. Personally, he thinks he was doing a good job considering he is only twenty six and already as a lot on his plate. The people in town however are probably looking down on him and would want the two boys to grow up with a mother and a father in a ‘loving’ household where they could learn what they considered the right morals. Maybe one day someone will be proud over him and what he has done with his life, if that day ever comes. 

But now they were all in bed waiting for a new day to blossom and he was alone together with Eret who was about to confront him about his weird behaviour. He did not want to say anything and he was not sure if he could run away from this or not. He guessed not since Eret basically had him in a corner, blocking the door to make sure that the other male would not once again run away from his problems or try and hide his secret. Eret wanted to know and he was going to know. Wilbur took a deep breath before hiding his face into the soft blanket, the fabric tickled against his cheeks. 

He could hear Eret step closer to him and silently he prayed that he would not fuck this up or say something horrible. It was quite hard to explain that he had stolen wine from his friend because his old childhood friend just happened to be a cop and just happened to have turned into a hellish monster. Oh and he had  _ accidentally _ set up a meeting with him at four in the morning by a goddamn tree which was hidden away from the public eye. When he thought about it, this was the absolute best plan ever for Dream. No one would be around to see him kill his old friend. 

The couch slumped down next to him and Eret put his arm around his shoulder, adding a comfortable weight onto them. He was warm and it felt quite nice to just have someone close for a second, but then he remembered why Eret was here and the anxiety took over him once again. His stomach churned and he had to keep himself from buckling over and hug himself, feeling slightly nauseous and dizzy. 

Eret rested his hand on his other shoulder, gently using his thumb to rub small circles into his muscles. Wilbur could only guess that he was as easy to read as an open book and that his anxiety was out and visible. In a way, he despised it and wanted nothing more than to close himself up and never show his emotions again. The other side of him kinda liked the soothing touch and it did help him calm down. It felt nice and he found himself slowly relaxing into the touch and closing his eyes while trying to focus on it. He let out a quiet hum. 

“Wilbur, what happened at the police station?” Eret’s voice was as soft as honey whenever he spoke in a hushed tone. It was deep and dark, rich like dark chocolate. It was a very soothing voice to listen to and he had found himself many times being jealous over Eret for being able to talk like that. Sometimes he even went deeper which made him sound like he was some sort of villain out of a movie. It was attractive and he had to give him that much.

“Nothing.” He mumbled while still trying to keep his mind on the gentle touch and the soft movements of his thumbs. It helped him forget about Dream for a second and the stress which was eating away on his muscles became more and more dull as time passed by. He could sit here forever and just enjoy it, but he knew that was not going to happen and that Eret was going to try and force an answer out of him soon. For now, however, he would try to make the best out of it. 

Eret let out a heavy sigh and shifted besides him, trying to get more comfortable in his seat while mentally preparing himself for the fight that he felt was going to erupt between them. The man wanted some answers and Wilbur could be annoyingly stubborn at times, especially when it came to personal stuff. No one really knew anything about when Wilbur was a kid and they were quite sure they would never find out either.

No matter how many times they had tried to ask him about what he did as a child or who he hung out with they were met with silence and an empty look. Wilbur never wanted to answer that question and they were pretty sure that they would never find out about the younger version of him. It seemed to be a very touchy subject for him and they were pretty sure that he had some trauma or that something bad had happened with him. Nikki was the only one who had some idea of what was going on since she had seen him in a moment, but she refused to say what she had seen Wilbur do. 

Wilbur kept his secrets tucked away in a drawer where no one dared to look. Besides you needed a key to even get into the small drawer and peek inside it. It would be incredibly rude to try and break it open but the thought of it had crossed their minds once or twice. They just wanted to know what had happened and if it had something to do with how the man was today. Maybe he had some sort of letter in there or an old drawing. 

Or maybe it had something to do with the necklace he was always wearing but keeping tucked away underneath his shirt. All they had seen was the chain of it, whatever it was hanging around his neck it seemed to have a connection to the drawer which he guarded with his life. 

“Something did happen, I want to know why. You can’t sit here all day, Will.” Wilbur looked up to meet Eret’s eyes and they looked like they were full of worry as he stared into them. Eret was a very caring person and was always there for him no matter what and today seemed to be no different. He was there for him and Wilbur truly wished he could just let it all out and tell him about it, but he knew that in the end that would not be the best thing. It was hard to tell and he was not sure how they would even take it. 

It was his thing and it was his life, Dream had been his friend. Sure, they were a part of his life now, but they had never been there when Dream was around. Wilbur had never felt as happy as he had once he had been with Dream and for several years it had always been them side by side through everything. He had loved Dream like a best friend and he had valued him so much, never had anyone broken his heart like that blonde boy had when he left town without a word. It had been devastating and Wilbur had not recovered from the loss for a very long time. 

Trying to tell everyone else about it now felt too intimate, almost like he was showing them his weak side and letting them do whatever they wanted with it. Only his parents knew about Dream and how close the two had been as kids and he had made them swear to never tell anyone else about the boy that one day disappeared. Everyone else had been too young to remember one person that they did not even talk to. Sure, he had been strange and all, but it did not mean everyone would remember him. Dream only existed in his memory, but those memories seemed to be getting corrupted. 

The old Dream was no longer here, he was gone just like the wind and had left Wilbur alone. Instead of the sweet boy he was now met with a coldblooded asshole who seemed to want nothing more than power and control. It was sick and Wilbur felt disgusted by him. But he still felt like he could not stay away from him, all he wanted was to run to him and ask all the questions he had gathered over the years. 

Wilbur reached his hand underneath his shirt, his fingers brushing against the fabric before finding what they were looking for. He pulled out the little metal wave which was hooked onto the chain hanging around his neck and showed the small symbol to Eret. Wilbur did not want to watch his expression as his friend scanned the little necklace, trying to figure out what it was or what it even meant. He was trying so desperately to try and understand what the other was trying to say, but to him, the wave meant nothing. 

He could tell that it was old though since it had little scratches all over the metal which indicated that it had been around for a while. He had never seen the wave since Wilbur always made sure that it was tucked away underneath his shirt and hidden out of sight. It was now that Eret realized he had never seen Wilbur shirtless before and he hummed in his head. His eyes looked back up at Wilbur who seemed to have some inner war inside of him. 

“What is that?” 

“He said it reminded him of my hair.” Wilbur explained before putting the necklace back underneath his shirt, hiding it from the public eye once more. 

“It’s very pretty.” Wilbur could feel the way Eret wanted to ask about who he was referring to, he had the unspoken question shown in his eyes when he looked up. Wilbur sent him a sad smile before once again glancing towards the clock to make sure he was not going to miss out on his secret meeting. That one would not have been good at all. 

Eret retreated his arm from Wilbur’s back and he had to keep himself from asking Eret to put it back, already missing the feeling of the small massage which was handed to him. But he still had some dignity around himself and kept the whine to himself. Instead his friend intertwined his fingers and leaned forward slightly, looking down on the floor as if he was thinking about what to say next. 

“Was he special?” 

Wilbur smiled softly to himself before leaning back into the couch and throwing his legs up, hugging his knees close to his chest and looking at the wall thinking back on his memories for just a second. Dream had been more than special, but that was already obvious. Dream had been more than that and he had been his everything. Sometimes, he wondered what would have happened if the boy never left and had stayed with him. Would he be any different? Would Wilbur have been any different? 

Questions like that could keep him up at night, making him toss and turn around as the face of freckles, green eyes and soft cheeks filled his head and small glimpses of the wood and the rocks sitting around flashed before him. Sometimes he would even catch himself feeling the smell that he had connected to those memories and those times. That soft smell of wet moss and the dirt, the soft scent of newly bloomed flowers which called for bees to sit on them. The soft winds which cooled them down on summer days and the bark of the trees. 

Sometimes, if the trees were old enough, they could rip off some of the bark and use knives to form them into small boats. They had a little collection of those boats that they kept behind a special rock to assure that no one would accidentally find them. Sometimes they would even have competitions on who could make the best boats. Usually Dream won, but Wilbur had managed to pull in a win every now and then too. 

“Yes,” Wilbur whispered. “He was my Dream.” 

Eret would never understand what it actually meant, to him it was just a saying when in reality it was true. The blonde boy had been his Dream, his Dream who had left him lonely and empty. Maybe he was a dream, lingering around and seeming like a fairytale until you wake up and it is suddenly blown away like the wind. 

“He sounds like a fairytale.” Eret smiled and Wilbur chuckled. 

“Maybe he was.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

The sand and gravel sounded like dry leaves underneath his shoes as he walked on the road which would lead him towards the old oak just outside of town. It was not far but it would take around fifteen minutes to walk there. The cold air was biting away at his skin the brunette realized that maybe it would have been best to grab his gloves before heading out. Even if it was late spring, the nights were still quite cold. 

Eret had sat with him for another hour before heading to bed and leaving Wilbur alone with his thoughts, making him rethink if he should go or not. He knew he had to go, this could be his one chance to finally figure out who it was he had been longing for almost his whole life. This was his chance to maybe make up for all those sleepless nights and the secrets that he had kept away from his friends. 

This night could be a redemption, a new beginning and change what had been broken all those years ago. This might be the night where everything changed and a new era took a turn, for the worse or the better he was not sure. If he judged by how things looked like right now he guessed that it was for the worse since Dream seemed to be on the wrong side of history and on the wrong side of the war Wilbur had just started. How things would go from here he had no idea. 

He hid his hands away in his pockets, trying to save them from the chilly night which held him. The sky was black and filled with small dots that looked like a painting, a painting which had been splattered on with an old brush to create some sort of effect. What effect exactly Wilbur was not sure but he felt himself get lost trying to look at the void above him. It was almost scary to turn his eyes up and try to understand what was out there and what mystery it may hold. One day, he was sure they would find out. Until then only the daydreamers would know. 

Once he arrived by the tree, it was close till four and still Dream was nowhere to be found. Maybe he had just wanted to keep Wilbur up all night to keep him sleep deprived so that he would not be able to keep his cool if he had to be called in once again for questioning. It would have been a great tactive on Dream’s side, and now the brunette felt stupid for falling into the trap of hope and wishing that he would show up. 

“You always came right before class started, never once late. Usually a few minutes early, too. I see that you still have that in you.”    
  
Wilbur turned around to be met by the male which stood slightly shorter than him but still looked like he was full of pride and the alpha around here. Out of his uniform he felt more natural though, and he looked a little more like himself with the shirt hanging over his chest and a small jacket to keep him warm. His pants were held up by a belt which was hugging his body and it was oddly attractive. Had he dressed up for this or was this just how he dressed nowadays? Wilbur wished that he knew. 

“It’s the only proper thing to do.” His voice almost did not sound like his own once he spoke, it being too soft for his liking and he wished he could be more rough. Dream had after all been quite the dickhead earlier and thrown him around like a doll and humiliated him. It was not far but even so he found himself having trouble trying to speak differently. Wilbur swallowed once Dream took another step closer to him and slowly made his way to stand next to the brunette. 

The oak tree’s branches hung above them and protected them from whatever danger there might be lurking above them, making it feel slightly safer and as if they were tucked away from reality as they stood there alone in the dark. There was not a single person up at this time which was perfect for them since there was no one around to see. A higher up hanging out with someone from the demonstration like this would not at all look good and so they had to keep a low profile. Plus Wilbur did not want to get any questions asked about who it was he had met. 

“So you have some manners.” Dream sounded cocky and at this point Wilbur was not sure if he was trying to insult him or point something out. Either way it got on his nerves but that may also be the sleep deprivation having its claws on him. God knows how much he wished that his head was clear and that there was nothing clouding his brain. He needed to be alert and smart about this. 

“Dream please just stop that. We are not at the police station anymore.” Dream looked more relaxed and his face was no longer wearing that stone cold expression which he had back at the office. He looked more like a human this way and it felt a little more personal and Wilbur silently thanked him for that. He was not sure he would be able to handle the manipulation tactics he used in work on him out here. This was a place which held history for them both, things like that held no home here. 

“Okay.” He said casually and shrugged, leaning against the tree and keeping eye contact with the brunette who at this point could only study his old friend and see all of his features which had changed over the years. He no longer had as chubby cheeks as he did when they were younger and his hair had been neatly trimmed and held shorter now than before. He looked like he had been built more strong, his body looking well kept unlike himself who was a little more skinny. However he was not like Tommy who was basically a walking stick. 

He did not sound like himself anymore, he spoke differently even if he had some sort of words which he had liked to use ever since they were kids. It did not feel like it was Dream talking and the only evidence he had that it still was were a few words which he always seemed to utter. Dream had never been this formal and this… in charge. He had always been sure of himself and knew what he stood for but this was almost scary to listen to. 

It felt like he was talking to a bad copy of his old friend and he was not sure what to feel. His holy body seemed to be conflicted and at war with itself as it tried to figure out what to do and what signals to send out. Was he scared and threatened or was he safe and satisfied with what was going on? No one would ever know and he would probably not find out until after this night was over. 

“How have you been?” The question was dull and quite dumb if you asked Wilbur, but for now it was the best that he could muster up. He wanted to hit himself with a stick but Dream seemed to now think too much about it and just accepted the question, however not looking at the man who was standing in front of him with anxiety written all over his face. 

“As good as you can while getting here.” He muttered and it felt like there was a deeper meaning behind it, but going into it might scare Dream off and that is the last thing he wanted to do right now. He really had to keep himself calm and collected while talking to him. No one knows what the blonde was planning or what his intentions were. Maybe they were the same and curious about the other or maybe this was a secret mission. He had no idea.

“What about you?” Finally Dream looked up and those green eyes seemed to be staring straight through him. For a second Wilbur felt the air leave his lungs and he was left staring at the blonde who was leaning against the oak, his hair softly flowing in waves as the wind captured it and made it dance along. He looked beautiful like that, his freckles hidden away by the dark but Wilbur could still imagine them being there. 

He almost looked like himself and Wilbur felt himself get lost in his memories, flashbacks filling his head as the old laughter from the man who was standing in front of him filled his head. They were softer and more heartful, sounding sincere and true. His eyes were brighter than they were now and everything about him just screamed free as he saw the memory in front of him. 

Dream running through the woods in front of him, his hair dancing behind him and that sweet laughter filling his head as the trees stood green and tall around them. The air was cold and refreshing, the birds above them slightly faster as they flew over the clear blue sky which only held promises of a good day. The ground underneath his feet was soft and the smell of flowers and dirt and just  _ woods _ filled his senses. Dream was faster than him, running as if he had been doing it his whole life.

He turned back to look at him, a smile filling his face and showing of a toothy smile which held no secrets and only happiness. A feeling of hope filled his chest and he too smiled, yelling for him to wait up as they made their way through the woods without a care in the world. A world which did not stand a chance as long as they were together, a world which they would conquer and rule.

He was snapped out of his memory just as quickly as he could remember it, Dream’s head now slightly tilted to his side as he waited for the brunette to answer the question. Wilbur only took a deep breath before hugging himself and looking up at the sky, wishing he could hold onto that feeling of hope forever and not be left alone here in the dark with someone he barely recognized. 

“I have been good. I live together with my friends and we are like a big family. I am happy with them.” He answered, feeling how his voice almost wanted to give up on him from the pain which was filling his chest. He wanted to go back, why could he not go back? Why could he just not return to those simple times when they ran through the woods without any worries? What had gone so wrong? 

Fate was cruel and the brunette almost felt like he lost all hope staring at Dream, wanting to scream at him to get the old Dream back. He wanted to scream at him to drop the act and just hug him once again, hold his hand and run with him or be his normal self. He wanted the Dream who would daydream about everything and nothing, the Dream who’s imagination stretched further than the ocean and higher than the mountains. He had to be in there somewhere, right? He had to. 

“Well that’s good. I’m glad you are at least not as miserable as you paint yourself up to be.” Wilbur decided to ignore him, not feeling up to fight which Dream really seemed to be in the mood for. Was he really this fucked up?   
  
“I fucking was when you left me here, without even saying goodbye.”

The change in tone seemed to have caught Dream by surprise since he tensed up slightly, looking over the brunette who now had his eyes averted to the side. He was mad and upset, betrayal living in him like a fresh wound. It hurt and he was bleeding in front of him as if he had no shame for himself. But what was it worth? Did it even matter anymore? 

All those wishes that Dream would return to him had been fulfilled, but the happiness which he thought would have been brought along with it had been shattered like a mirror. So easily had his fantasy been shattered and left on the floor, laying like a thousands shards reflecting on what once used to be. Wilbur bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from letting his emotions take over. He had to stay strong, he had to do this. 

“What do you mean?” Dream’s voice was slightly hushed and Wilbur looked up, barely being able to believe that he was serious right now. That is what managed to spark something inside of him? He had been so emotionless and dead on the inside until he got accused by things he had actually done. Was this man really serious? Maybe he was Satan himself disguised as a beautiful angel. He wanted him to return to hell. 

“Yeah what could I possibly mean, Dream? You just decided to leave me here without a warning and without a goodbye. Did I mean that little to you?” Dream looked like had when they had been back at the office, his face cold and expressionless as if he wanted to keep whatever it was he was feeling a secret. Nothing was betraying what was going on in his head and it might just drive Wilbur insane. Why could he just not be a normal person? Did he lack empathy? What was wrong with him?

“Wilbur stop that. Just stop. It means nothing now.” Dream hissed out into the cold air, his words flying in the wind like a burning feather. Wilbur shook his head. 

“It does, Dream. Why are you so cold about it all? Did you lose all your empathy overnight?” Wilbur almost flinched at his own words, not entirely sure why he suddenly had snapped at the other. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was the exhaustion from before. Or maybe all of his emotions had been bottled up for way too long and were now spilling over like water, flooding their conversation and drowning them. 

Dream only looked at him for a few seconds, trying to understand what had happened and why Wilbur seemed to have changed in the matter of seconds. He looked confused and lost, but still showed no signs of sympathy which only angered the brunette further. Why had he even come here? Of course it was stupid. Dream would not care. 

“You are out here starting riots, Wilbur. Do you know how dangerous that is?” His voice sounded soft and calm, almost as if he was secretly worried. But it was still a fucked up thing to just say. Didn’t he know that violence was spread everyday? Did he know that it was because of people like him others got killed everyday without mercy and in cold blood? Why was he defending those actions while trying to keep Wilbur safe?

“It is because of people like you it is dangerous. I would rather do this than sit back and watch people die for who they are.” Dream bit his lip before looking at the side, taking a deep breath as to not scream at his old friend. Nothing good would come out of it. 

“They are not right, Wilbur. Just like pedophila is wrong this is wrong as well. Why can’t you see it?” 

“Did you just-” Wilbur laughed out loud, not even trying to compose himself anymore. “Dream people are different from each other. I’m sorry that you are scared of people being who they are. It’s fucking sad.” 

Dream only stared at him and Wilbur shook his head. It was impossible to talk to him, they would get nowhere in this and it had been a stupid idea to try. He should have known that things would come to this. This was not a novel written for kids, this was reality and reality was cold and brutal, ruling them all with an iron fist and ruining the world. It was a cold and dark world they lived in, Dream had just proved it to him. 

“I am leaving.” Wilbur turned around, raising his hand to wave the other off. He was done with this crap and he was not sure how much longer he could stand looking at Dream. Those eyes that used to be so innocent and bring him a feeling of safety were now the eyes of hatred and evil. He was not sure how he was supposed to feel about it.

“No, wait!” Dream quickly stood up from the tree and hurried over to grab onto Wilbur’s arm, trying to make him stay. 

For Wilbur, it felt like the first time he saw Dream show any sort of emotions or feelings at all. It was a strange turn of events and he was not sure how he was supposed to feel about it. He did not want to turn around and look at Dream, already guessing that his face was as numb as his feelings. He could not take it to look at him anymore, he would rather go home and sleep than watch as his old childhood friend crumbled into a monster before him. 

“You wanted to talk, and I am here now. Do not leave.” Dream mumbled behind him and Dream’s grip around his arm felt like it was burning like a flame into his skin, teasing at it and making the hairs stand up all over his body. It was an unpleasant feeling and he had to stop himself from snatching his arm back. Instead, he stood still and only listened to him trying to act as if he was uninterested. 

“Wilbur…” 

He finally turned around and their eyes met, now standing closer than before. It felt strange, almost as if they had stepped into a bubble where only they existed and where they breathed the same air. All sounds had gone quiet around them and suddenly the only thing the men could hear was their own breathing and their blood which flooded throughout their bodies. It was strange and uncomfortable. 

“You are sick, Dream. What do you want from me? I wanted my friend back. You only seem to want me silent.” His voice was too calm, dangerously calm. Almost as if he was silently threatening him but hiding it by putting a layer of sugar over it. Dream flinched slightly and Wilbur raised an eyebrow as a silent question. He was not sure on what was going on anymore and his stomach was turning, telling him to run far away from Dream and back to safety with his friends. 

“We were never meant to see each other, Wilbur.” He whispered and the brunette turned his head away from him, trying to keep his thoughts inside of his head as to keep things somehow civil. He only wanted his old Dream back, god knows how he wished he could rewind time and sit on the rocks again and play that they were the kings who ruled the land together, caring for everyone and riding on crystal white horses who were the fastest in the world. Things had been so simple back then, why was it so hard now? 

Wilbur grabbed a hold of Dream’s wrist, turning the grip around and Dream almost jerked himself away, instincts kicking in and telling him that he was in danger. But Wilbur silently hushed him to try and make him understand that he was not out to hurt him. Instead he brought Dream’s hand to his chest, laying it against him so that the blonde could feel the piece of metal which was hiding underneath his shirt. 

Dream only narrowed his eyes and looked at the brunette, not entirely sure what he was feeling or what he was out for. Wilbur sighed feeling quite disappointed before pulling the necklace out and showing it off, making the other hold the small symbol for himself to look at. 

Once in his hand, Dream froze up and stared at it, his eyes wide opened as he understood what it was and what Wilbur wanted. He recognized the symbol and so many confused feelings flashed in his eyes and Wilbur huffed, not sure how to take his reaction. The other seemed to be very shocked about it since he would not stop staring at it and trace his thumb along the lines of the metal. 

“You...wear it?” 

“I don’t take it off.” He confessed and Dream looked up at him and for the first time Wilbur could see the same boy that he saw when he was a child. Those eyes still looked dark, but now they were not coated with hate or hiding whatever it was he was feeling. They were open and green, a little brown too once he looked closer. He could see Dream in them, even if it was only for a few seconds before Dream jerked back again. He tilted his head down to the ground before stepping back.

“Why?” Was the only response he got and he was not sure what he expected either. Dream looked shocked and confused, almost conflicted as if suddenly had gone to war with himself over something so simple. Did it mean something special to him too? Why did he react like that? It was a strange thing to see and Wilbur hated the way he felt when he saw Dream. 

Those few seconds of seeing his friend in there made his heart flutter and jump in hope, hope that maybe he could get Dream out of his hatred shell and show him the world that he sees and get his friend back. But hope was a dangerous thing in these cases and Wilbur was quite aware of it. Dream had been stubborn growing up with strong opinions, he was not sure if he still was like that but he probably was. It would take so much energy to even try and change him and Wilbur was not sure if he could do that since he had his friends, too.

He could not focus on Dream like he had to focus on his friends right now. He had managed to live without Dream for so long that he could probably keep on living without him. He did not want to, god it hurt just thinking about it, but maybe he could. If he tried enough maybe he could move on from the blonde. He could burn the picture, bury his necklace and leave to never come back. It would all be so easy, but the emotions would never be fun to handle. 

“Because you meant something once upon a time.” Dream ran a hand through his hair before looking back up at Wilbur who still stood in the same spot, he had not even moved a single finger as he stood tall and confident. Now it was his turn to wear a stone cold expression as he looked down on the blonde. 

“Things can never go back, Wilbur. Why did you hold on for so long?” Dream mimicked his behaviour, the panic and confusion now hidden behind a wall that he had put up faster than one could understand. The bushes ruffled behind them, probably the wind picking up making it feel a lot more dramatic than it actually was. One could believe that it was straight out of a movie scene. 

“I have no idea, all I know is that I was dumb to chase a fairytale.” The tension between them had once again turned cold and strong, bad vibes edmitting from them and making it feel like a fight was about to break out. But they were mature enough to stand their ground and not throw a fit against each other. 

“That’s true. We will never go back to how it was before, Will.” His words hung in the air and Wilbur smiled, a wicked smile to throw him off before turning around. 

_ “When we get older, do you think we could get married?” _

His own voice played inside his mind as he looked at the blonde who did nothing but return the gaze. Neither boys said a word while sending each other a stare. So many words were unspoken and if they ever would get spoken was a mystery. One day maybe they would get out, but for now they remained in their heads. 

_ “Dude, have you ever seen two boys getting married? I think that’s between boys and girls. _ ” 

Dream’s voice rang inside his head, and for the first time he understood that him turning out this way had not been so unlikely. He should have known, he had been so naive to not see the obvious. He had been wanting something that he could never have, he had built up something he would never be able to live up to. He was never going to have Dream by his side, they were on different sides of this war and that would never change. 

_ “But can’t we be an exception?”  _ No, we can’t.

_ “I mean, does it have to be like that?”  _ Yes it does. 

.

.

.

.

Wilbur turned around and this time, Dream did not stop him as he walked down the path back home. His eyes were closed as he tried to steady his breathing, not wanting to break down out here in the open. The sun was already starting to show itself back over the horizon and it felt unreal that he had spent so much time talking to Dream. It had only felt like a few minutes, maybe ten at most. It had been so stupid, what had he been thinking?

His arms hung heavy besides him as he walked, his legs threatening to give up underneath him and make him fall down to the ground. He felt so empty and exhausted, wanting nothing more than to just go home and fall asleep in his bed. If he knew it would have turned out like this he would not have gone in the first place. He would have stayed home and no one would have known anything. Now he had just caused more problems. 

The gravel creaked underneath his feet, but it did not match his pace in walking. Was Dream honestly following him? He could barely even care about it, not wanting to continue trying to talk to the blonde about his stupid ideologies and ideas. But he also did not want that man by the community house where he would be open to his friends. His friends who would have so many questions. No, that could not happen. 

Wilbur turned around and was met by a blonde, although not Dream. His eyes were blue and he looked way younger but still around the same height, maybe a little shorter. He looked terrified and shocked as he stopped a few meters behind him, his face going pale. Wilbur stared wide eyed at the boy who swallowed without saying a word to him and a very horrible silent stretched between them. 

Wilbur’s heart stopped as he stared into the eyes of Tommy. Tommy only looked back at him and realization hit Wilbur almost like a hurricane. Of course it had not been the wind in the bushes, of course the child would be out to get his answers. He had fucked up, hadn’t he?   
  
“Wilbur-”

“How much did you hear?” 

Tommy looked down at the ground, not saying a single word and Wilbur turned away from him, looking back towards where the sun was rising and promising a new day for them. This had all gone to hell, he had fucked up so bad. Why had Tommy done this? How had he not seen him or understood that the child would not sit back and silently watch. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thumb is cramping rn- lmao
> 
> also i am finally a year older! My friends are amazing and I am blessed to have them  
> I am also blessed to have my child (Hello Fin :D) //Dont worry not biological, too young for that lmao// who wrote a little Wilbur POV based off of my other fanfic "Burn my Pages". Thank you so much <3 
> 
> Now have a good day/night wherever you may be! I love you all so much.


	5. Can you hear the drumming?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur and Tommy are not on good terms and it's reflecting over the group. Meanwhile, Wilbur meets his friend in the forest to relive what once were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! And welcome to a new chapter!  
> It feels like every chapter just becomes longer and longer, this one is at 8.3k words. I wrote this all in one day. Woops. 
> 
> How are you all enjoying it so far? I'm not sure what to feel about it just yet but maybe we will see. Thank you all for the kind and supporting words, these chapters are quite hard to write since they are very long but you all motivate me to get out of bed and do this. Thank you all so much <3
> 
> Remember to take care of each other! I care about you a lot. Please enjoy the new chapter!

“Wilbur please just-”   
  
Wilbur shut the door behind him, once again trying to put a barrier between himself and the younger boy he had seen as his own brother. Tommy had tried all day to reach out to him and everytime he did Wilbur was quick to put a distance between them. It was becoming very worryful for the people who lived there to see the two acting like this towards each other. 

Sure, they teased each other with no end in sight and they had gotten in multiple fights before but it had never been this bad. Neither of them wanted to spill what was going on or what had happened and Wilbur was actively refusing to talk to the younger. Everyone was watching as Tommy crumbled down in guilt and unshed tears filled his eyes, the boy looking smaller and more curled up in himself. He had not even told Tubbo about what had happened or why he and Wilbur were fighting with each other.

Tubbo was quick to run towards his best friend and wrap his arms around him, Tommy just staring at the door which had been shut in his face. The smaller boy dug his face into his shoulder to try and bring him some sense of comfort to get the heartbroken look off of his face and maybe bring him some closure. He just wanted his friend to be okay and usually it worked whenever he hugged Tommy, today however, it did not seem to work and Tommy kept staring at the wooden door. 

Nikki was standing and watching it happen, a hand on her chest as she bit her lip trying to piece together what was going on. She had no clue and nothing which could give her a hint on why her friends were like this. They had gone to bed fine and woken up not wanting to talk with each other, had something happened during the night that she was not aware of? The blonde girl was not sure and it pained her to see them like this and she wanted nothing more than to help them get on good terms once again. But no one was letting her in, the two were not letting anyone in which was also an odd change for them. Usually they complained on each other but this time they kept it to themselves like a very dark secret. 

Tubbo was silently begging Tommy to react, to hug him back or tell him about what was going on. The blonde had not talked to anyone for the whole day and Wilbur had been locked away for the most part. The older man also refused to even look at the boy he referred to as his little brother. It was heartbreaking and Tubbo just wanted them to be okay or at least know what had happened. It could not be a coincidence that they had started fighting the day after their demonstration and that Wilbur had gotten taken in. 

Eret stood behind Nikki and watched the two boys, feeling a pang of guilt hit him in his chest as he looked at them. He was not entirely sure exactly what had happened, but he guessed that it had something to do with Wilbur staying up so late and talking in such a strange way. The mention of a boy who seemed to have been so close to him had been very random and strange, but Tommy had never been there. He had been asleep in his bed the whole time and he had no memory of him ever coming up to them. So something must have happened after he had gone to bed. What had happened? 

“Tommy.” Tubbo begged silently, his friend still looking like he was at war with himself. But when he heard his name he looked down to see his friend clinging on to him, hugging him so tight that it almost hurt. The brown haired boy was not the strongest among them but he could definitely hug if he wanted to and this was no exception. Tommy however, did not return the hug and instead pushed the short boy off of himself, trying to put a distance between them.

His eyes betrayed nothing and he looked up towards the door once more before turning around and slowly walking out of the house and away from them, his footsteps heavy and his mouth shut. Tubbo had no idea on what to do or what to say as he watched as his best friend turned his back on him, devastated and alone. His heart was breaking and he had to fight to keep himself from running after him and pulling him back, but that would only cause more problems and he knew it. So he stood his ground and watched.

Nikki could not stand watching it and she quickly moved her way towards the younger male, pulling him into a soft hug. Tubbo returned it and wrapped his arms back around her, trying to swallow the pain of his best friend turning his back on him the day after their demonstration. They had worked so hard for it and promised that no matter what they would make it back fine and hopefully with a change. 

The change was supposed to have been that people would be more accepting or at least try to see things from a different perspective, but it had all gone down the drain and instead they ended up with a new problem. A problem in which they were not even sure how to handle or how to fix since they were not sure on what was wrong in the first place. It was strange to see Wilbur like this and Nikki glanced at the door which was still tightly shut and showing no sense of opening anytime soon. 

She sighed before looking down again, trying to ignore the quiet screams that were coming from the door in front of her. She wished she knew what was going on and she wanted nothing else but to try and help them. Both Tommy and Wilbur seemed upset and it was taking a toll on all of them, but especially Tubbo who looked so lost without his best friend by his side the day after one of their most important days. 

  
  
  


Wilbur on the other hand, was sitting on his bed shaking while gripping at his own hair, trying to make sense of everything. 

Tommy had heard, Tommy knew. 

Or well, he probably did not know the whole story from a to z but he knew enough to be able to piece some of the puzzle pieces together. It was not a hard thing to do and he should have been more careful walking out. For fuck sake he was supposed to be a leader and help them go through with a protestation but he could not even hear when a sixteen year old boy followed behind him in the middle of the night. It was embarrassing and quite the bad job, he was ashamed of himself for letting it happen but he was also upset. 

Never once had he told Tommy about his past or what he had done growing up past the age of fifteen, not wanting him to know about the stuff that he had done or gone through. It had been a horrible time and he was not proud over the things that he had done and he really did not want Tommy to know about it. He also really did not want anyone to know about Dream and what they were when they had been kids. It worked like his safety secret, his comfort. The things that Dream’s disappearance had made him do was something he could not speak of.

It would be hard to explain it to Tommy, he would probably have to explain by using him as an example and make him think about how it would be like to lose Tubbo. The two boys reminded him a lot of who he was as a child and what he and Dream had been so maybe it would be easy to explain. The thing is he did not want to, he did not want to tell Tommy about the rocks in the woods or the tall trees and those green eyes he had always found comfort in. 

Wilbur himself had spent seventeen years of his life trying to figure out exactly what had happened and who Dream had been, was he truly a dream like his name suggested or had he been something more? He had been such a mysterious child and did not seem to hang out with other people than the brunette which he had grown fond of. Wilbur had never been to his house and he had never actually talked to the blonde’s parents. He did know however that Dream had a little sister who was a few years younger than them and he seemed very fond of her. 

He could not remember if he had ever talked to her or not, he had only seen her in school the first day that they started and never again. He had been too young to remember all the smaller details and everything felt like a fever dream when he thought back on it- the memoring lingering around like smoke in his brain and only leaving glimpses of itself here and there. One day he might remember it again, or maybe the memories were lost forever and drowned out together with his youth. 

But now someone knew, or at least knew that he had been withholding information and a big part of himself from the other. Wilbur was not sure if he knew if Dream was a cop or not, but the fact that they had met outside of town at four in the morning was enough to make it all look suspicious. He had also mentioned that they had been at the police station so maybe Tommy was smart enough to understand how the meeting had been arranged. 

The kid was smart, Wilbur had to give him that at least. He could easily read a situation or try and make up for mistakes he may have made. He was kind and caring, energetic and sometimes quite blunt but he was not a bad kid. The bringing up stuff from their childhood and pointing out things that have changed or stayed the same must have sounded strange to him and Wilbur was praying he did not tell the others about it. 

Eret would easily understand who it was he had met. Just an hour or so before going out he had brought up Dream even if it had been just slightly without details. Eret was the only one who knew that there was someone who had been special to him and he was the only one aware about his necklace. Sure, Nikki had probably seen the picture he kept in his drawer very quick sometimes but she had no idea who they were in the picture and she had not gotten a good enough look to remember the blonde’s face. 

Many times had the brunette been close to burning or clipping Dream out of the picture, bringing up matches and one time even a cigarette towards his face to try and erase him from his memory. But everytime he stopped himself and ended up looking at himself and Dream who smiled towards the camera, everytime he found himself stroking the picture gently with his thumb and wishing back to when times were so much easier. It always ended the same way when he put down the fire and laid the picture back in the drawer for a next time. It was probably not the healthiest behaviour but it never went away and he could never bring himself to show someone else or tell about it. The picture and the boy in it was kept as his secret. 

Now his secret was slowly getting out and showing itself to the world and Wilbur was not sure if he was enjoying it. He did not want anyone to know, the thing with Eret had left him borderline freaked out and made him question himself. But now it was even worse, it was worse since now it was Tommy who had gotten to know enough to understand that something was going on here. 

His friend, the person he considered his elder brother, was talking to a cop and seemed to have known each other as kids. Never did they mention what they had done together which was good, but they had been fighting. It must have been confusing for Tommy to listen in and he barely even wanted to know what was going on inside of the blonde’s head. Wilbur would have had many questions too about this whole thing if he was in Tommy’s shoes. 

It was probably not the right thing to do, to cower away from him because he did not want to face what it was outside and those questions he knew Tommy carried with himself. He was not sure what was going on out there or what his friends were thinking about him. They were probably disappointed in him, thinking that he had abandoned them or something similar. He had let them down and he was doing nothing about it except laying in his bed and looking out the dusty window to his side. 

The sun was setting once again, the sun starting to hide behind the tall buildings which showed themselves on the other side of the glass. They were pretty and stood tall and brave, but those walls also hid the dark secrets which happened inside the building. Those walls are the only ones who know the words which are being said and the actions which are taking place. There might as well have happened a murder in there and Wilbur would never be able to know. Or maybe they had something happier, like a flower garden. 

It did not matter, the only thing that mattered was Dream at this point. He hated that after all these years he had just decided to show up as the universe's biggest prick, an asshole who used whatever sanity had in his head and twisted it around. He was a horrible person and nothing would get through his head and the hatred had put deep roots in him. 

Dream was like a rosebush, pretty flowers who lured you in with their bright and soft petals with lots of soft promises. But they were littered with venomous spikes which would hurt you if you ever got too close. They had not always been there though, they had only appeared once the bush had gotten big enough and turned into the monster that it is today. It was horrible and Wilbur was no longer sure what color he was. Red or white? Maybe both. 

His flowers were so pretty, they let the sun dance over them and gave him a false feeling of safety as they grew stronger and brighter wanting to get noticed. His flowers were prettier than anybody else's and his whole life had he longed to pick them or keep them close to his chest just one more time. But they stung him, they dug into his skin and made blood drip all around him. It spilled onto the floor and left a mess, a horrible and dark bloody mess. 

Wilbur turned in his bed and his hands flew up to his face, covering his eyes and his mouth while keeping back the small whines in pain threatened to escape him. He wanted Dream so badly, he wanted to lay next to him and laugh about nothing again and see him smile and hold his hand. It was childish but he wanted to go back into the woods and be there with him, spend the day on a blanket close to him. He wanted to hear his voice which had grown significantly deeper since last he had seen him.

He wanted to remember those eyes as they looked like right now, he wanted to remember Dream for who he was now but he knew that was not possible. He could not stay close to a person like Dream. Dream is the reason he is out on the streets screaming at the top of his lungs and people like Dream are the reason that he almost got stabbed the day before. It was sickening him and he knew it was horrible, but still he longed for him. 

Dream was a drug, he was truly a drug. So horrible and so bad but he  _ craved him.  _ He longed for him like nothing else and all those thoughts and those sleepless nights were haunting him. His wishes had come true and Dream was finally back in town and he had even been able to talk to him. But Dream was not himself, he was a monster and someone evil. They were on the opposite side of this war in which they were playing and they were both the leaders. They had to take the other out and Wilbur was not sure if he could look into those emerald eyes and do it. 

His heart was hurting and beating hard inside his chest, like a hammer trying to get itself out. It was sick and he felt dizzy and nauseous by the blood flow, hurting him and making his anxiety creep inside of him like poison. It was a sickening feeling and he knew it was bad but he was not sure on what to do anymore. Dream was eating him from the inside out without knowing it, leaving him a crying mess as he was out there living his life perfectly. His parents must be proud, his sister must have an amazing role model. And who had Wilbur become? 

“Wilbur.” 

The brunette sat up and looked towards the door where the voice had come from. A panic rose in his chest since he knew that them calling for him meant that something was wrong. Or well, they probably just wanted to talk to him but he did not want to talk about it, he did not want anyone to know about Dream or what had happened to cause his and Tommy’s fighting. He did not want them to know and he wanted to guard his secret, but it was going to be incredibly hard from now on and the brunette was very aware of it. 

“Yeah?” He answered quietly while watching the door open slightly to show Eret, standing there. His hair was a mess and his shirt was slightly unbuttoned which somehow made him look quite attractive, he had to give him that. He wore a worried expression on his face and Wilbur could already feel the tension building up inside the room as he braced himself for what was about to come. He did not want this, he wanted to yell at him to leave. But for some reason, his mouth stayed shut and not a single word seemed to escape from him. His eyes did not leave Eret as he walked into the room and closed the door behind him. 

Eret was leaning against the door and looking at the brunette who sat on his bed, hair ruffled and a mess on top of his head with a shirt that was ruffled and falling over his chest in a soft manner. The other male sighed as he walked over, already trying to brush his fingers through his hair to try and fix his friend up. He looked devastated and it was very sad to see, Eret never thought he would see Wilbur like this again but here they were. 

Wilbur did not say a single word as he let Eret fix him up slightly, feeling his heart ache and his mind fog up trying to embrace himself from the questions which were about to come. Sometimes he wished he could be a stone and shut his emotions off and ignore them all, but he knew that was just cruel and horrible. Just look at what Dream had done. A cold, numb monster who ruled the streets with a mind set on hate and ‘justice’. 

“Tommy is devastated, Wilbur. You know how much you mean to him. You have to talk to him about this.” Eret said in a hushed tone before retreating back his hands and sitting down on the bed next to him, looking at him with eyes which seemed to be carrying a hundred of thoughts. Wilbur turned his head away, not wanting to face him once again. 

“Will, what happened? Where did you go last night?” 

Eret was one of the few people he trusted and who he dared to let in. Only he and Nikki were the ones Wilbur let come close like that and they were aware of it. Sure, he looked up to Phil but that man was someone he wanted to impress too. He wanted to be someone for Phil and make him proud. It was something he had a hard time explaining but it’s how their bond was. Phil was like a dad he never had and he was so incredibly thankful to have him in his life. To burden him with all of this was something he would not be able to do. 

Eret had always been there for him, and he had also been there when he had his tantrum phase back when he was fifteen. Nikki had also been there to see it but they had a silent agreement between each other to never ever mention it to each other. Nikki knew how much he hated himself for it and how much he regretted it all. Eret on the other hand never really said anything about it but you could tell that he sometimes got worried that he would repeat history and do something similar. 

Maybe he was worried he was going to do it now again, especially considering their talk last night regarding someone that Eret knew had been close to Wilbur. They had gotten to know each other once they were ten years old, Eret being new in the class and all. He had always seen Wilbur stare out the window or at the seat in front of him which was sometimes empty and sometimes not. As a kid he had written it off at him just being tired or daydreaming, but when he got older he had noticed that it was something which was not really right. 

And then the years had passed by and Wilbur seemed to drown in his own sorrow, doing things he never really understood. But between those weeks he had learned to play the guitar. Picking up the instruments and strumming away while humming. Eret had liked him best that way and tried to ignore those times when he was not home and strumming. But now he was starting to see a pattern in this whole thing and the fear of him falling into old habits filled his friend up and Wilbur could sense it. 

“I went nowhere, Eret. It really does not matter alright?” Wilbur glanced quickly at him and he saw the disappointment filling up in his eyes, not believing him for even a second. He could not lie to him and it was becoming quite obvious. He was truly fucked, wasn’t he? This was not going to go as he had planned out. Not because he had planned it in the first place but it had at least not been in his notes. 

“Did you meet him?” 

The question hung heavy in the air and Wilbur knew exactly what he had meant and he fought the urge to pretend he didn’t. He wished he did not understand the question and he wished he could pretend like he did not know who Eret was referring to, but that would be such a stupid and lame thing to do. They were not twelve anymore and they were not going to do stupid shit like that, they were adults and should really act like it. But Wilbur was not feeling up to it and he wanted nothing else but to drown his own misery out with something strong. 

He looked towards the window again and wished he could escape through it and run away from his problems until they were gone and forgotten. He really did not want to have this conversation and he wanted to push Eret aside and hide once more. But he couldn’t and he knew it, he had to be an adult here and actually pull himself together. It was getting ridiculous. Maybe he should just drop the bomb, get up and leave. 

Wilbur pushed his legs up on the bed and brought them to his chest, leaning his head against his knees and trying to hide away from the judging glance Eret was most likely sending him at the moment. Did he have to answer? Eret probably already knew the answer anyways so what was the point in even asking? Couldn’t he just put two and two together and leave him alone? That was a mean thought, Wilbur cursed himself. 

“Yes, Eret. I did.” He confessed quietly and Eret hummed beside him, putting his hand on top of his shoulder just like he had last night to try and comfort him. This time however, Wilbur wanted him to let go of him and he was close to flinching away as to escape his touch. God knows how he wanted to just be left alone in his room, or maybe even have Dream close. 

Scratch that, Dream could go and  _ fuck himself.  _

“What happened? What did he say?” Eret had seemed to notice him not feeling up to getting touchy and retreated his hand back, laying it between them and tilting his head to the side as to try and get through to his friend. Wilbur seemed to be lost in his own world and it was worrying Eret. He almost prayed that Wilbur would not start his old mess over again. 

“Eret stop. Stop it. I’m not gonna tell you, he is not yours to discuss.” Wilbur regretted the words quite quickly but it was too late to try and take the words back. His voice was quiet and dark, almost like he was a wolf guarding its pups from someone. He was staring at Eret with his heart in his throat trying to keep himself calm. His whole body was hurting and he was not sure on what to do anymore. He just wanted to get out of there and run, he could not take this conversation. 

“Did Tommy find out? Did he get to know more than you wanted him to know?”   
  
Wilbur froze up at the question and he could almost feel how the hairs on his whole body stood up in fear as he stared at the man besides him. Sometimes it was scary with how good Eret was able to read situations and figure them out, and in this moment he really wished he did not have the skill. He wanted to keep this to himself and Eret was not making it easier with this. He was freaking out. 

“Eret you better shut up right now.” Wilbur threatened and stood up, getting out of the bed and looking down on the other. His heart was racing and he heard the way the blood rushed through his ears and deafening out smaller sounds. He could not think straight as his deepest secret was slowly starting to slip out for everyone to know. The picture in his drawer and the necklace which he had always fought so hard to keep hidden were suddenly out for the public eye and it was happening all too fast. He was not ready. 

He was not ready for everyone to know because Dream had been his friend, they had been the perfect pair and Dream had left him hurting and bleeding for so long. Dream was his fairytale and sharing it would be like spilling ink all over a book. It would ruin his memories since no one else would be able to understand how much Dream had mattered to him. 

But then again, why did Dream matter so much? He was one among many, a boy who had been in his life when he had grown up and disappeared like the wind. There had to be a reason as to why he felt so obsessed with him and why his mind was always focused so much on that boy. Maybe it was the mystery which was capturing him and luring him in, the answers hanging above his head just out of reach. Or maybe it was something more, maybe Dream had meant something more to him. Wilbur felt his stomach twist itself at that and he swallowed the pain quietly. 

“Wilbur please just talk to me, I want to help you. Who is he? You can trust me.”    
  


Eret stood up now too, walking closer towards Wilbur making the other feel cornered. His chest was screaming and suddenly it felt like the air had gone thin around him, not letting him breathe properly and shutting off his oxygen. He just wanted to breathe and to think, he did not want to feel this way and he did not want to let Eret in. He did not want him to know what kind of creep he was not being able to let go of a childhood friend. He did not want Eret to know that his whole body and mind screamed to be with someone who was dangerous. 

Dream was against who Eret was, Dream was against everything they believed in and telling them about him would only cause more problems than it would fix. It would not be easy to explain it and he would look like a traitor and a disappointment in their eyes. He would be against what he was fighting for hanging out with a higher up officer who had almost beaten him up in an interrogation room trying to milk him for information and accusing him of violent acts. It was sick and Wilbur was aware of it, he was ashamed of himself because of it and he did not want to get reminded. 

“Eret I don’t think I can trust myself with this.” He whispered and took a step back trying to increase the distance between them, not being able to handle him getting closer. Eret looked hurt as he closed his eyes for a second before opening them again, looking at him almost pitiful. It did not help and Wilbur only felt worse about it all. 

“Then put it on me, I can help you. I am here for you and so are they. We will not judge you. Just tell me who he is and we can work from there, alright?” Wilbur shook his head and hugged himself before glancing towards the door, not wanting to be there anymore. Eret was pushing him and he wished he would just lay off. But he also understood why he was doing this and if it had been about something else, he would have listened. But today he couldn’t. 

“Eret fucking stop!” He yelled, his voice ringing in his ears before pushing past Eret and running for the door, opening it and shutting it behind him. Nikki and Tubbo who had been sitting on the couch turned over to look at what the commotion was all about, but Wilbur was already gone before they had a chance to see him. 

Wilbur was not sure on where he was going, all he knew was that his legs were carrying him somewhere and he had decided to just accept it and see where he ended up. Maybe he would walk to another city or maybe he would walk to the end of the world, it did not really matter and he could not bring himself to care about where he ended up. Just as long as he got away from Eret and his friends he would be fine. He just needed some time on his own and some time to think before figuring his mess out.

The air felt refreshing and chilly against his skin and he felt himself relaxing slightly to it. The air was fresh and nice as he breathed it in and cleared the fog in his mind, smiling softly to himself and closing his eyes as he walked alone down the road. It felt nice to enjoy the quiet around him, only the soft buzz of people in town behind him in the distance and the ruffle of leaves filled his ears. He wished he could stay here forever and just stay in his happy place. 

The ground underneath him seemed to change and when he looked up he found himself standing right at the opening of the woods in which he had spent a major part of his childhood in. It barely looked different, only small changes of where the flowers grew and the size of the trees and bushes. Otherwise it looked almost the exact same as he remembered it from when he was a kid with nothing else but hope inside of his chest. Those times were so simple and he wished he could go back.

He carefully entered the forest and looked all around himself, a weird feeling washing over him almost as if he had stepped into a time machine and was once again turning into his younger self again. The memories of the hope and courage he had felt filled him once again and the trees were building up a second home. Or maybe it was his first home, he was not sure. But something felt odd and wrong, something felt out of place or as if there was one important detail missing. 

It did not take long for him to understand that the missing part of this was Dream. 

All these trees stood around him and they all triggered memories to play inside of his head as they read out the books and the stories of him as a child. But the stories would never be complete without Dream by his side, the stories would never be fully complete without telling of the blonde boy who had always been by his side and been his best friend through it all. Dream was a part of this just as much as he was, this had been their place and their place alone. They shared this together and being here without him somehow felt wrong, as if he was trespassing on his own mind. 

He glanced over to his side to see the boulders and the rocks who were peacefully resting on the ground, the trees seemingly holding them still to make sure they did not roll away or spread themselves around the ground. The trees which still had the branches which they had climbed up upon and pretended that it was their thrones, having a perfect view over their land and their kingdom. He missed those times and he smiled to himself before slowly walking over the rock, letting his hand rest on the smooth surface.

It was cold to touch but he did not find himself to mind. A jolt of electricity surged through him as all the memories flooded through his mind as he heard his own voice play inside his head. Every word which he had spoken, all the thoughts and the imagination flooded through him and it made him feel at peace, it made the knot in his stomach lose itself up slightly and leave him more relaxed. But at the same time, he found himself wanting to cry.

He missed those times and he missed when it was just him and Dream on these boulders, climbing around like two monkeys and ignoring the world around them. It had been them against the world and nothing would ever stop them. Never had he felt so seen and so loved as he had back then. He had friends now, he even had a true family now, but still he longed for his past friend and wanted him back by his side. He felt brave whenever he was with the blonde and he felt more powerful, almost as if Dream gave him powers or strength. It was hard to explain and it was hard to understand. 

He was woken up by his daydreaming as a twig snapped behind him and the brunette turned around quicker than he ever had before, worried that Eret had run after him or that he once again was getting found out by Tommy. But when he turned around he was met with neither, and instead he saw Dream behind him, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. His eyes were big as they looked at him and for a second not a single word was being said. They were just looking at each other and Wilbur felt something turning inside of him. 

He was not even sure if he could remember the last time they had been here together. So many years had passed and he never knew that there would be a last time for them. Never would younger him think that the next time he would meet Dream in the woods would be like this. He never thought that they would even be here together ever again even if he had daydreamed about it so many times. He had always wanted to come back here with the blonde by his side, but now it somehow felt… odd. Almost as if there was something wrong. 

He wanted to forget everything that had happened and throw himself at the other, hug him once more and sit on top of the boulders which seemed to be way smaller than he remembered them. He wanted to hold his hand as they ran once more and he wanted to just sit there for hours and be close to him. But another part of him was screaming no, screaming at him that this was wrong and that this was bad. But at the same time he really wanted it. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would be here. I’ll leave.”   
  
“No, please don’t go.”    
  
Wilbur was shocked to hear himself utter those words and Dream also seemed to be slightly confused as to why the brunette was letting him stay after recent events. But he nodded and walked closer, standing next to him and looking at the grey rocks. It felt so surreal to have him here again, to be here and to be so close. All those nights, all those wishes, they were almost coming true. He was here and they were in the woods together once again side by side. But only in practical. 

Wilbur tensed up slightly and Dream glanced over to him, those green eyes scanning him before looking back over the forest and the moss which covered the ground. It was a beautiful sight and he found himself enjoying it, even if there was quite the tension between them. Wilbur wanted to break it but he knew that it was impossible. He was not sure if they would ever be able to return to normal and to be fine ever again. 

“You were always the best at climbing. You were also the fastest in our class, no one could beat you even if they tried.” He whispered and avoided looking up at Dream, not wanting to see those eyes and lose himself in them. He wished it was old Dream besides him, he wished that it was his old kind and loving friend instead of this monster in disguise. He really was the definition of wolf in sheep's clothing and he was not enjoying it at all. He basically prayed that things would change inside of his head before closing his eyes. 

“You were never far behind.” Dream responded and Wilbur could almost feel how the blonde shifted closer to him. His heart picked up its pace once more as the panic rose in his chest. Was Dream going to hurt him? This would be the perfect time and the perfect opportunity to do such a thing. No one was around to see and it would take forever for someone to even find his body. Dream’s job would become significantly easier to deal with if Wilbur just died here right now. But he seemed to be very calm and not in the mood for a fight to break out.

“I always wanted to be like you, you know?” He finally looked up and met those eyes and immediately he found himself drowning in those orbs, losing himself as he stared into the eyes of his childhood friend. It was amazing how they could look the exact same but also so entirely different at the same time. They gave him a sense of deja vu and he could look at them for hours only to feel the same happiness he had felt when he was a kid. But instead he looked away again, away from Dream and away from all those painful memories. 

“Really?” Wilbur hummed. 

Dream jumped up on the rock, heaving himself up and climbing to the top with ease almost the exact same he had done when they were young. Wilbur found himself smiling at the sight as his chest hurt, his heart crying out and his brain fogging up trying to comprehend what was happening and what was going on. This was bad and so entirely dangerous. He could not fall for this, he could not fall into this fantasy that they would return to how they once were and that the boy in the picture was with him once again. It was dangerous and he was very aware of it, almost too aware of it. But it was so tempting to join him, to lose himself in the happiness. 

Dream looked at him, his head slightly tilted and a smile ghosting his lips. He looked beautiful standing up there and Wilbur felt his eyes teared up. Dream was here, he was with him once more and they were together. For just a second, their previous fights and meeting did not exist and it was just them being eight once more. It was just two boys in the woods trying to escape reality together and standing each other close. He wanted to pretend for just a minute, just a minute in his happy place. That is all he wanted. And so, he pushed himself up and onto the rocks to join Dream. 

Dream reached out his hand and Wilbur accepted the help. He got pulled up onto the rocks and never before had he felt so many emotions at once. He was scared, but at peace. He was happy but also so incredibly sad and angry. He wanted to yell and he wanted to scream. But for the moment he could not bring himself to do either of those things as he turned to his side to look at Dream whose eyes were turned towards the forest in front of them. For a second, the image flashed and Wilbur saw the younger versions of them both. 

“I always wanted to be like you, too.” Wilbur flinched slightly before looking at Dream, confused as to what he meant or what this was based on. But Dream kept staring out over the woods without saying anything more about the subject and Wilbur decided to let it go. He did not feel like starting a fight right now anyways. 

“Where did you go?” He whispered, the pain being obvious in his voice. Dream only looked down and shook his head, barely being able to handle that sad tone which haunted the brunette’s voice. He was not sure on what to say or what to do and he felt like he was lost in a winter land. It was cold and no matter where he looked it was dark and empty. The only warm thing was Wilbur who was standing besides him. 

“Wilbur, I can’t answer that.” The brunette only nodded in disappointment, the questions filling up in his head. He was so close to getting them but still they were so far away. He could almost feel them, he could sense them in the air but he could not read them or understand them. He wanted to hold him so badly, he wanted to know everything and understand what had happened. He wanted Dream to tell. 

“Did I matter to you?” The words were barely audible and Dream turned to the other, his body facing him as he looked at him. It felt strange and neither of them was sure on what was happening or what was wrong or right. They should not be here, anything could happen and both of their worlds could crash. This was some sort of paradox and it was never meant for them to meet again, this was bad. 

“Will…” The brunette flinched, feeling a pang of pain spread through his chest. Of course he hadn’t, of course this was some sort of manipulation tactic. He had been so naive and so lost in hope that he could not have seen the obvious. Dream did not want to say anything, he did not want to say anything and it could only mean one thing: this did not mean as much to Dream as it did to him. It was stupid, it was so utterly dumb and stupid. 

“I should have known.” He whispered before jumping down from the rocks, landing on the ground softly before glancing up at Dream who only looked at him. It felt so strange, as if he could reach out and pull them both back in time and be happy once more. If time travel ever became a thing he would have loved to go back to when he was eight and happy together with the blonde. 

“Will, it is not like that, stop assuming things.” Dream jumped down quickly and landed besides him, making sure that he would not accidentally touch his old friend almost as if he was disgusted by his being. Wilbur took a note of it as he studied the other, trying to memorize everything about him. Dream bit his lip and Wilbur felt himself slowly growing numb to all of the pain Dream was putting on him. All those years were sneaking up upon himself and it felt like he would never find peace in all of this. It was just an endless circle of pain and trouble. 

“Dream stop. You will give me false hope.” He mumbled and Dream brought his eyebrows together trying to understand what he meant. 

“What kind of false hope?”   
  
“That I will get you back, that we will be okay again.” He whispered and his shoulders slumped slightly. Wilbur felt weak and lost as he stood in the woods together with Dream, trying to keep himself from touching the other or try and pull the old Dream out of this shell that was on display in front of him. He wanted nothing more than to reach inside there, because he knew the old Dream was hiding in there deep inside. He just had to figure out how he would get him back, or if it was even possible anymore. Maybe he was buried to never see the light of day ever again. 

“Until you get your ideals in check we can’t. I don’t think there is hope for us, Will.” The words were cold and they hit him like a knife. It cut deep and his heart shattered into thousand pieces and he was not sure how he had let himself fall for this once again. It was stupid, how he kept his hopes up only to get them crushed once again by the blonde male by his side. 

“When will you see that this isn’t wrong? It’s just love, Dream. It’s as simple as that.” He tried but nothing in his expression changed. He ran a hand through his hair trying to keep his emotions in check and not overspill everything. 

“Love is a dangerous thing. It can sometimes cause harm- this type does cause harm.” 

“Did I ever harm you?” The question hung heavy between them and Wilbur could see the conflicted emotions playing behind the green in those eyes. He could tell that there was something going on in there and that there was more to him than Wilbur was aware of. Although he was not sure about what it exactly was but he was willing to try and find out. Sometime… 

“Do not say a word more. You’re on thin ice.” Dream warned and Wilbur only chuckled before taking a step backwards, putting a greater distance between him and the blonde male. He watched him and flinched slightly, almost as if he had to fight himself from reaching out and grabbing him to pull him back. But nothing ever happened and Dream kept his ground, watching as Wilbur slowly backed away. 

“Can I at least know your name?” Wilbur asked and Dream chuckled silently underneath his breath, looking down for a second before returning his eyes towards Wilbur. 

“Clay,” He answered. “My name is Clay.”

Wilbur smiled softly and swallowed the name, accepting it quietly while putting his hands in his pockets. The name did not feel like it suited him, he preferred to call him Dream. It rolled better on the tongue and to him, it would always be Dream. There would never be another name to describe him in his mind. It was Dream, his dream.

“I like Dream better.” The blonde smiled. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of emotions haha- they will get nowhere if they continue being dumb. Looking at you, Dream.   
> Dont forget to leave a comment! It truly helps and makes me able to write these like I do, I often find myself reading them to get some motivation. I will never be able to thank you enough.
> 
> Have a good day/night whever you may be! (or whenever you are reading this)


	6. BONUS CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bonus chapter, a small glimpse into the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes i wrote this directly after posting the last chapter, this one is very much shorter but a little fun thing I hope you may enjoy, a little pause from the angst. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

_ “If I get there first, you will have to be a servant for the rest of the week!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Deal!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ The two boys ran as fast as their legs could carry them, over the road and between the people who yelled at them to slow down and that they were bad children for running around without looking where they went. But neither of them could bring themselves to care as they ran towards the forest and towards where they belong, away from the school with the weird kids and the stupid teachers who tried to keep them apart.  _

_ They could try all they wanted, but the two boys were gonna continue sending notes to each other during class. Everytime the teacher told them to get to work Dream would turn around to face his friend with a big smile on his face without a care in the world. He had gotten detention way too many times doing it but the blonde boy with the long hair did not seem to care. He never seemed to care about anything unless it had something to do with his friend. It was impossible for the teachers to handle but they were also very smart and managed to pass all their tests without any trouble. No one understood how they did it, but they did.  _

_ Their classmates had stopped caring about them and only a few would now and then glance over to the two boys by the window snickering and talking to each other, being in their own little world as everything else moved around them. It was only them and that was okay, they were happy with only having each other and in truth, they knew nothing about having more friends. They had always been the outcasts and so they had always been a team. You never saw one of them with someone else unless it was forced.  _

_ Dream had always been the best runner, but Wilbur had longer legs to his advantage. He could take longer steps faster which made it a little more into a competition. He always believed that he would win over his friend and every time he was proven wrong, but this time he was going to win. He knew it. He could feel it in his bones as he looked at the boy besides him, sweat building on his forehead as he quickly wiped it away. They were both smiling as the wind hit them in their faces, making it all feel like a dream.  _

_ Wilbur was the first one to step his foot into the forest, but Dream was not too far behind. The rocks and the boulders were just out of sight and it would take them a minute at max to run to it. He was going to get to their secret place first, he was going to make it. No way in hell that he was going to be Dream’s servant, that boy could kiss his ass! He was so close.  _

_ But right before he was about to touch the stone, another hand besides him reached out and placed its fingers on the smooth surface. Wilbur stopped dead in his tracks and turned to his side to see a Dream, panting heavily while a smile spread wide on his lips at his victory. Wilbur could not believe it, he had been so close to winning, he thought that he could finally beat him and claim his pride. But once more, he had lost to the boy. _

_ Dream laughed as he fell to the ground, exhausted from running so fast and so far. His face was red and his breaths came out in small clouds. His hair was slowly escaping from the little ponytail which he carried at the back of his head to keep the blonde strands out of his face. He looked very adorable in it even if it felt weird to see a boy with that long hair. But Wilbur only thought it looked cool and whoever thought otherwise was a meanie. Dream was beautiful.  _

_ “That’s unfair! I was going to win that!” Wilbur complained and crossed his arms, a pout forming on his face as he looked at his mate who was still lying on the ground completely exhausted. He looked stupid laying on the ground and he was probably going to get himself dirty if he continued laying there. But it seemed like the blonde did not care, it was easy to wash it out anyways. Plus boys want to play sometimes, too. Getting a little dirty in the process should not be that much of a problem.  _

_ “Well you didn’t! You can never beat me.” Dream cheered as he stood up, getting up from the ground and brushing away whatever dirt he had gotten on him, Wilbur ignored his statement and climbed up on the rocks, trying to ignore their little competition and hoping Dream would put it behind them.  _

_ “One day!” He chuckled as he stood on the rock which was highest up, looking out over the forest and their kingdom which they ruled together. Winter was just around the corner and frost was starting to form on top of the moss as to prepare for the snow which could come any day now, they looked forward to it a lot.  _

_ During winter they could build big igloos together and hide in them, curl up next to each other for warmth and hide away from the rest of the world and pretend that it was their castle or that they were in the middle of a snowstorm, desperately trying to survive. It was very fun and one of Wilbur’s favorite plays, except being on the rocks and pretending to be in a castle where they were the kings. Nothing could ever beat that.  _

_ “You have to be my servant now, Will!”  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I will not!” The brunette complained as he sat down, pulling his knees to his chest as Dream climbed up beside him, leaning his head against the others shoulder. Wilbur smiled to himself as he rested his head against Dream’s. It was comfortable and he felt all warm inside as the other stayed close to him, he never wanted to go or leave. He could stay like this forever and he wished that he could. Dream’s hair was tickling against his cheek.  _

_ Dream reached over to grab a hold of Wilbur’s hand, and the other accepted it and laced their fingers together. They both smiled as they looked out over the forest in front of them and away from all the loud noises that were going on in town. Once again they had been scolded by the teacher for talking during class, but neither of them seemed to care. There was nothing to care about besides each other and that is all what they needed- each other.  _

_ “One day, when we are older, do you think we can share a house together?” Dream turned to Wilbur who bit his lip pretending to think about it. He already knew the answer but it was always fun to mess with his friend and get a reaction out of him. Wilbur loved it and could not help but to smile as Dream gently hit him in the side. _

_ “Yes, my little Dreamie. I think we could! We could have a really big house, you know those who have a second floor?” He suggested and Dream nodded, agreeing with him. _

_ “Yeah! And then we can also have a cat, I really want a cat. Maybe two….” Dream stood up and Wilbur laughed before standing up as well, jumping down from the highest rock and down onto one which was a little lower down. His hair was falling all over his face and Dream giggled at the sight, gently brushing it out of his face to make him visible once again. Wilbur stuck his tongue out at him.  _

_ “Well you better learn to cook then, because I will never cook!” Dream cheered as he stood proudly on his rock, making Wilbur shake his head in disbelief at his friend who seemed to think so highly of himself. He could be pretty stupid at times but it was also very funny. He laughed quietly at himself. _

_ “Well you better get yourself a wife then, because I ain’t doing it!” _

_ “No way I’m getting a wife! Girls suck! They have germs.” Dream complained and pretended to be disgusted, reaching for his stick which he kept hidden between the rocks. It was his very magical ‘sword’ which could kill any dragon in the entire world. He always had it whenever they went out in battle. It was slightly carved with a knife to create a sharp end to it, and down by the handle he had written “Dream” as to prove that it was his sword. Wilbur had a bow, which was hanging on one of the branches above them.  _

_ “Agreed!” Wilbur giggled before jumping down and grabbing a handful of leaves in all colors. They looked like tiny flames scattered along the ground as they slowly started to disappear due to having been around for too long. The brunette threw the leaves up in the sky, letting them fall all around him in a dancing manner as they moved down towards the ground. It looked beautiful and Wilbur found himself getting lost in all the colors around him. He felt like he was an angel, or god.  _

_ “Wilbur! You looked like you had some sort of magical power while doing that. I think it looked really cool!” Dream called for him before taking his sword and making his way down to join his friend, grabbing the nicest leaves which he could find and taking them back to the rocks. Wilbur watched him with curiosity in his eyes, wondering what his friend was up to. He quickly hurried to sit down beside him and look as his hands worked.  _

_ Dream was weaving the leaves together, creating a crown which shifted from red to yellow, looking like a fire. The crown was beautiful and Wilbur was amazed about how his friend had managed to do that. It was almost like magic, his hands must be magical.  _

_ “Woah!” Wilbur smiled as the other finished up, reaching the crown up and placing it on top of Wilbur’s head. The leaves drowned out a little in the chocolate brown curls, but it only made the crown stand out more. He looked like a king from the woods, ruling a country from far away just like in some of the books in the town's library. Dream had only read a few, but it was enough to know that Wilbur was just like the kings there. He was powerful and beautiful.  _

_ “Can you teach me how to do that?” Wilbur asked and the other nodded, running over to correct a few new leaves and weaving them together, showing his friend step by step on how to do it. Wilbur was watching and listening closely as the other tried to teach him, feeling a little confused about what was going on but still being determined on how to do it.  _

_ Once Dream was done explaining, he tried to do it on his own. It was very tricky and sometimes Dream had to come in to correct him, but after a few tries he was left with a small crown out of the leaves laying in his hands. He felt proud over himself and he looked up to Dream who was applauding him, congratulating him on the crown which he had managed to make. He felt proud over his friend and a warm feeling washed through his chest as he looked at how excited he was.  _

_ “I did it, Dream! I really did it!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “You did!”  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Wilbur reached over and placed the crown on top of Dream’s head, letting it rest easily on him. Now he also looked like a king and Wilbur felt happy and at peace. They were the kings over the forest and their crowns were gifts from the elfs which lived in the forest. They were powerful and they were wise. They were also a lot nicer than their teacher and no one in their kingdom was forced to have homework or be quiet. They could always speak with whoever they wanted and they had all the freetime in the world.  _

_ It was their world and their world was perfect in every way. They were the best kings you could ever ask for and they stood by each other no matter what, nothing could tear them apart. Just like they loved their kingdom, their kingdom loved them too. This was the only true place where the two felt like they mattered and that they were loved and longed for. It was not much but it was something, an escape from home.  _

_ “Wilbur, you are my best friend.” Dream smiled as he leaned against a rock, looking over at his friend and reaching out his hand for him to grab once again. Wilbur tilted his head slightly to the side as he chuckled, rolling his eyes.  _

_ “And you are mine too, Dream. I love you a lot.”  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Aww, you love me?” Wilbur silently groaned as the boy beside him laughed, a laugh which to others would sound odd and strange. But to Wilbur it was a perfect laugh which had no flaws in it. He loved hearing his friend laugh and it made him smile wide whenever he heard it. He would not trade it for anything.  _

_ “Stop teasing me!” Wilbur complained and the other leaned over to plant a gentle and friendly kiss on his cheek, making Wilbur smile and shut up about the other being a pain in the ass.  _

_ “Now shut up, you don’t look good being mad.” Wilbur giggled before taking off his crown so no harm would be done to it and jumping back down onto the ground, waving Dream to follow him.  _

_ “I want to show you something.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ The two boys made their way through the woods, walking deeper and deeper in and away from the safety of their pile of boulders. Dream was curious about what his friend wanted to show him and Wilbur was concentrating on trying to find his way to the spot he had found just a few days prior. It was not a long walk, but he did manage to take the wrong turns a few times which caused Dream to call him an idiot, but Wilbur only brushed him off until he reached his destination.  _

_ “There!”  _

_ In front of them stood a little building, not much bigger than a storage room. The door was slightly open and the only way you could see it was if you looked for it, trees and bushes trying to cover the small building which seemed to be quite shy and hiding itself away from the rest of the world. Dream’s jaw almost dropped as he looked at Wilbur who nodded, quickly walking over towards the little building.  _

_ The two boys hurried over quickly and opened up the door to peek inside. It looked like someone had run experiments in there, or at least that’s what they wanted to pretend had happened. There were shelves with empty bottles everywhere, and in the corner there was a table with a big sack on top of it. What it was inside neither of them was entirely sure. They did not dare to open it just in case it was dangerous.  _

_ It was very small and could probably only fit four people at the time considering that it was also a mess. Someone must have left this place in a hurry and let it stand here to rot away. The two were very interested in the little storage room as they looked around themselves, looking at all the different things which aligned the shelves. On one of them, Wilbur saw a little stone, he believed it was a jade one.  _

_ It was green and slightly shiny, almost as green as Dream’s eyes. The other boy seemed not to have noticed Wilbur or the stone since he was busy looking at a painting which hung over the desk. Wilbur smiled to himself before hurrying over and tapping on his shoulder to get his attention.  _

_ “I got this for you. It reminded me of your eyes.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Wilbur handed the little stone over and Dream accepted it in awe. The stone was slightly cold in his hand but it felt soft to touch and the green was absolutely mesmerizing. He loved it so much and his chest ached slightly at the gift, feeling so thankful for it.  _

_ He jumped over the other and wrapped his arms around Wilbur, burying his face into his neck as he smiled and silently thanked him. Wilbur hugged him back and smiled, letting his fingers reach over to grab the tie which held Dream’s hair up and pull it out, the blonde strands falling freely towards his shoulders. Wilbur played with them, enjoying the soft touch against his fingers.  _

_ Dream only hummed, enjoying the feeling of being loved and cared for as his friend hugged him and took care of him. Never before had he felt like this, he had never once felt this special to someone as he did when it came to Wilbur. He was truly his best friend and he would not want to change a single thing, ever.  _

_ “If I could, I would give you the world and all the stones. If I’m rich enough when we are older, I might also buy you a house full of sweets!”  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Dream giggled as he hugged the other tighter, taking in his smell and drowning in the feeling of being seen and mattering to someone. Not even his little sister would do something like this for him, usually he did not even get a birthday present. But it was different with Wilbur, and he had never felt as safe and loved as he did with him.  _

_ “I might just share it with you in that case.” Dream responded before letting go of the brunette, winking at him and putting the little jade stone in his chest pocket so that he would not accidentally lose it. The little stone mattered way too much to just be dropped somewhere and never be found again.  _

_ “Then I will make sure to fulfill it!” Wilbur promised.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**But the promise was never fulfilled.**

  
  



	7. Will you stay with me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Wilbur have a different kind of bonding moment, an illegal one, which manages to get Wilbur in some deep trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people!  
> I am incredibly tired after writing this and it feels so dry to post this chapter, but I still wanted to get something out today. You all are spoiled lmao
> 
> Thank you all so much for the good feedback! I love you hear your thoughts, they make me so incredibly happy! 
> 
> Also I have realized that not many people like wilbur and dream,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, theyre just out for that dnf haha *cries in rare ship*
> 
> But i hope you all enjoy this chapter! Take care of yourself!

_ It did not matter if it was in real life or just a dream, the trees and the forest would always look the exact same as they hovered around him, reaching towards the sky proudly and tall. The leaves were such a deep green and the whole sight felt like it was straight out of a fairytale as he laid on a blanket looking up towards the sky, watching the clouds move along from where he could see them in between the tree crowns. He smiled softly to himself, feeling at home and at peace while admiring the view.  _

_ He felt something shift besides him and he turned over to see his old friend laying next to him. His hair was slightly longer, but not long enough to be put up. His eyes were shining and looked gorgeous, almost like the leaves which hung above them. Over his cheeks laid small freckles like stars, littering his face with constellations. He did not look angry, he did not look mad or as if he was planning on approaching him in any dangerous form. He too, looked like he was at peace and happy besides him.  _

_ Wilbur felt his heart jump slightly at the sight and he was also quite sure that his face was slowly heating up from looking at his friend who was so close to him. He would barely even have to stretch out his harm to be able to touch him, to lay his fingers against the other man’s skin. Why did he look so pretty? It was unfair, it was painful but at the same time not. The brunette was not sure on what to think when those lips curled up in a smile.  _

_ “Hey.” He whispered quietly and Wilbur turned to lay on his side, facing the other and being almost dangerously close as they laid there. Dream was still on his back but his head had been turned towards the brunette. If he moved just slightly forward he could make their noses brush against each other, the thought sparked something in him although he was not sure on what it was. All he knew was that suddenly his nerves were tingling underneath his skin and he had to keep himself in check. _

_ “Hello.” He responded and Dream chuckled before reaching his hand out, cupping Wilbur’s cheek and gently stroking it with his thumb. The brunette froze for a second before leaning into the touch, closing his eyes and holding back a sob which wanted to get out. It felt so real, why did it feel so real? Why was he even being this nice to him and what was going on? Maybe it did not matter, as long as Dream was there things would be fine and it would be okay. He just wanted to stay like this, stay by his side forever just like they had promised when they were kids.  _

_ His chest was aching and hurting, almost burning as he leaned into Dream’s hand which felt like a butterfly’s wings against his cheek. It was soft and warm, comforting and gentle. He would never have guessed that they would be this soft to touch, judging by his career. Maybe it was his imagination, or maybe he was judging the other too hard. Either way it did not matter, he liked it and he did not want it to stop. _

_ “You’re beautiful.” Dream’s voice was soft like honey and it dug deep into him, setting his heart on fire and making him feel like there had just been an explosion of happiness in his chest. He looked at Dream who only kept smiling at him, looking back as Wilbur’s face gained more and more color. He chuckled before letting his hand trail up to his hair, letting his fingers run through the chocolate brown locks. Wilbur hummed.  _

_ “I always thought you were pretty, too.” He whispered before tilting his head to reach over to Dream’s wirst, planting a soft kiss against his skin. He could hear Dream take a deep but shaky breath at the action and his mind was doing spins. He almost wanted to cry with how good it all felt at the moment and how everything he had ever wanted had suddenly come true. Or well, his childhood dreams had come true.  _

_ Dream inched closer, close enough that he could feel the others body warmth radiate against himself. The cool but nice air around them made it just feel even more comfortable, inviting even for the two to get closer to each other. Wilbur could barely even think as his whole mind was foggy and his brain was desperately failing while trying to understand what was going on. The brunette only relaxed and let it happen, turning off his thoughts and deciding to just enjoy this.  _

_ “Will…” His voice rolled on his tongue so casually, so right. Almost as if it had always been like this and like they had always been together. It felt like such an obvious thing that it would always be them against the world and that they would always stand side by side with each other. Hearing his name getting said like that…. did things to him and he was not sure how to react.  _

_ Wilbur sneaked his hand over to Dream’s neck, placing it where the end of his hairline was and gently pushed him closer so that their noses would touch each other. He could hear Dream’s heartbeat inside of his chest and he was pretty sure that the blonde could hear him too. They laid like that for a few seconds, no one daring to take the last step. The last step which would connect them and finish what they had once started.  _

_ It would make a reality of all of his dreams and all of those nights he had not been able to fall asleep by the deep wishes he carried. All those times where he thought he heard the blonde or felt his touch against his skin had been so painful, but now it felt so real. He could barely even understand what was going on, all he did know was that it felt so good and so right. He never wanted to separate from Dream again, he wanted to stay like this forever.  _

_ Dream’s fingers which were tangled up in his hair, his own hand which was holding the blonde in place to make sure that he did not back away or try to turn from him. Their legs tangled themselves up together as they pressed closer, no one around except for the trees which they had grown up around. Those trees who had watched them play as kids and those trees who had watched them reunite once again. Those trees who knew their whole history.  _

_ Dream smiled and chuckled, rolling his eyes before pushing himself closer, but right before their lips met, something flashed.  _

Wilbur woke up in a panic, his eyes flying open as he sat up in his bed and looked straight in front of him. His heart was beating hard and quickly inside of him in almost a painful manner and at this point he was not sure if he was alive or not. Nothing felt real and his mind was messing with him, teasing him and hurting him in ways he wished he could ignore or at least be immune to. Had it been anyone else he would have been able to brush it off and move on, but not now. Not with Dream and especially not like this. 

He really had dreamed about kissing his old childhood friend. 

It was sick and he felt so angry and disappointed in himself. Dream was a terrible person no matter what they had done as children. He was cruel and worked for a fucked up system and saw his friends as disgusting people. Dream wanted nothing to do with him other than to use him as a little doll in whatever game it was that he was playing here. Maybe it was some sick work from satan himself. 

Maybe Dream had chosen to come here and decided that maybe it would be fun to check up on him and then changed his direction of that entirely. He would not blame him if that was the case but still, it was sick and wrong. Fucked up. It was so unfair that he was here and now silently tormenting him with his existence. It had been alright when he was thinking about him and imagining him, because that did not cause any harm and at the time he did not even know Dream had turned into the biggest prick in the world. 

But now he did know and he was aware what kind of an asshole the other was, those daydreams had turned out to be false and only that. They would never happen and reality was proving it to him everyday. Now he only had empty hopes and empty feelings, looking at the blonde and forever wishing he was different and more kind hearted. Was this really his Dream? It did not feel like it at all and every minute that passed he felt more and more sure that there was something that was wrong about this whole situation and what Dream was saying. It had to be. 

But he had dreamed about  _ them _ and things that could have been. He had dreamed about the blonde being kind and loving and not against the things Wilbur was fighting for. If it made things better or worse he was not sure, but the faint feeling of Dream’s hands on him made his entire body flutter and his chest ache for oxygen once again. His heart was not sure on how it was supposed to beat and Wilbur slowly lost himself in the way his body was reacting to the faint memory of the dream. 

They had almost kissed, they had been so close and he had jolted awake just before their lips could meet. It was teasing him and killing him slowly, he wanted to know what it felt like or how it would be even if it was just a dream. He was not sure why but he really wanted to and he almost longed to just put his lips against the blondes and taste him, feel him. It was bad and a dangerous thought process but still the dream was not leaving his mind. 

He had done...things when he had been drunk and it had not been the best time of his life but he did have some experience with kissing boys. It was dangerous but the thrill was amazing and made you feel alive in ways you couldn’t have imagined. Kissing girls was alright, it felt ordinary and basic. Almost as they kissed just to be kissed, but there was a difference with the boys. They were in for it and they wanted it in a whole other way which made Wilbur feel a bit better about himself while doing it too. 

But kissing Dream? Yeah sure, that could definitely happen. 

First off, that man is homophobic as shit. The way that he had insulted his friends and the community was disgusting and Wilbur had almost hit him right there and then. But he had not always been like that- as children he was not truly against it, he just had questions about it considering there were norms around love and things like that. Dream had never been a hateful person, he had always been loving and there for people he cared about no matter what. In his eyes back then, there was nothing wrong with people looking different or being different. So what had changed?   
  


It felt like he was dancing with Satan himself while his brain played the dream on repeat inside of his head, but making it worse. The intensity got higher and he found himself longing for more than just soft touches and a small kiss. He wanted so much more and he wanted to do different things with him and his mind was giving in to all of his fantasies. It was wrong and so bad, but he couldn’t help it. All of those years suddenly started to make sense. 

Tears had started to run down his cheeks, and when it happened, Wilbur wasn’t sure. He felt heartbroken and lost, as if he had been running too far and had no idea where he was anymore. He didn’t know the way home, he was not even sure what home even was anymore. He only knew that he wanted the blonde haired boy, the blonde haired boy who had haunted him for several years and filled his head up with wishes and things he could not explain. 

He wanted to go to Eret and ask about it, maybe he could help him try to figure this whole mess out. But he also did not want Eret to know about Dream and who he is today and what he had meant for him all these years. He was not ready for that discussion yet and he was not sure he would ever be ready to talk about it. Maybe he was just stubborn, or maybe he was a complete idiot who needed to open his mouth more. But it did not matter right now as the pain in his chest overtook him, causing a few quiet sobs to overtake him. 

He felt terrible and dirty, wanting someone who hated him and his friends. Dream was like a snake, beautiful and fascinating but so very dangerous and harmful. No good could ever come out of him and it felt like he might as well have slapped all of his friends in the face by the way he was letting them down. A higher up officer, that’s who he cared about and longed for. A homophobic, racist, higer up officer. 

He quickly hissed at himself before sitting up and grabbing his jacket and a pair of pants, putting them on in a haste. He had to get out of there, he had to escape the walls that contained him and all of the hidden things that were littered around in his room as memories of the blonde boy he had loved so dearly. He could not stand being here where his friends were, sleeping peacefully thinking that they were all on the same page and that they would make a change. Wilbur did not want to let them down, he could not let them down. 

Once he had finally gotten dressed (his hands had been way too shaky and so it had been hard to button up everything) he grabbed his bag and flung it onto his back, the cans inside hitting against him and making him cringe slightly at the hard hit. It hurt, but not too badly. It just made him feel more awake. Somehow in his sick twisted mind, he found himself thinking that he deserved that anyways. Kinda like a pay back from God who was probably shaking his head in disappointment at him. That man could shake all he wanted, anyways. 

He opened up the door and walked out into the hallway. Tommy’s room was just beside his since it was often Wilbur that the other boy had walked to whenever he got problems at night such as nightmares or whenever he got sick. Although he had grown out of it a while back and could now fully take care of himself. But his room stayed next to Wilbur and for now he was quite happy for it. 

He carefully opened the door and stepped inside, trying to squint his eyes as to be able to see in the complete darkness. He had no idea what time it was but he guessed that it should be around three or four in the morning. Coincidence? Maybe, nobody knows anything about this world anymore. 

“Tommy.” He whispered, feeling bad about waking the other up as he sneaked over to the side of his bed, looking at the younger one sleeping. It felt creepy, but he really wanted him to wake up. He needed the other to wake up. He was not even sure why he needed Tommy specifically, but judging by the fact that he had absolutely refused to talk to the kid for a while now made him wonder if it had something to do with that. He had been terrible towards the blonde, and hopefully, this would help restore something for them. 

“What…?” The smaller boy mumbled quietly, still half asleep before blinking his eyes open to lay face to face with Wilbur. 

He had to stop himself from jumping in shock as his eyes widened, looking at the blonde feeling quite confused as to why he was here in his room in the middle of the night waking up. Wilbur had always been strange and sometimes it felt like that man had more secrets than the state which in itself was concerning. It felt off and weird, especially since he had been listening in on a conversation that he was definitely not supposed to have heard. Judging both on the information that had been spilled in the conversation and the way Wilbur had reacted when he found out. 

Wilbur gave a sad smile to him, almost as if he was apologizing for something quietly. It made Tommy sit up and the brunette showed his bag to the younger before pointing at the brushes which were laying on top of his desk. “It is time, grab your things and do not wake up the others.” He explained before standing up again, waiting for the other to get up and get ready. 

Wilbur waited outside of his room to give the other boy some privacy, and when Tommy finally came out he looked as ready as one could be, although still confused. He was not good at hiding what he was feeling and never had been, so it was easy to tell that he was worried and was almost waiting for Wilbur to have a mental breakdown or freak. He had heard Wilbur play sometimes on his guitar, songs that he was probably not meant to hear since he had never mentioned them or played in front of others. Tommy was aware that Wilbur carried more than he would like to admit. 

Tommy was pretty quick to get out which made the brunette feel a little better since he just wanted to rush out, and he did not wait further before rushing the smaller one towards the door and locking it behind them, walking into the cold night air which almost felt like getting hit in the face by a hammer. 

“Will, what are you doing? Like, what’s going on?” He turned to look at the brunette who scanned the area for people before moving out, walking down the street and towards where the police station would be. If they did this nicely, no one would notice. There would only be one or two people awake over there just in case something happened. But they were often asleep anyways since not much happened around here if you did not count the extreme violence and hate crimes. 

“We are going to show those motherfuckers.” He responded and Tommy lit up besides him, nodding with a big smile on his face. He was confused as to why Wilbur had decided to do this in the middle of the night, and judging by how he had been for the past few days it was safe to assume that he was at least not okay. He had heard him crying and playing on his guitar all week and it was getting worse and worse. Today he must have snapped and he wanted to ask about it, but he did not want to ruin the moment.

Wilbur was finally talking to him again and that’s all that mattered. Maybe there was a reason why it was specifically the police building he wanted to ruin, or maybe it was just because it would make a great statement. If Tommy had to guess, he would say a mix of both as he moved quietly behind the man he considered his elder brother. 

The town was incredibly quiet during the night and it felt odd to sneak around like this, but it also felt quite good. Wilbur was the only one who had an idea in mind but Tommy followed along patiently without trying to push the other into telling what he was planning. He did not want to try and force something out of him now when things seemed to be fine, or maybe things weren’t fine and this was just a break in the storm. Tommy wasn’t sure and to be completely honest, neither was Wilbur.

“There, you see the lights in the windows?” Wilbur pointed towards the police station, showing the younger the lit up windows which were making themselves known in the night. They stood out even if they were not as bright as one hoped they would be. Wilbur could almost bet money on that the pigs were either eating something or sleeping on the job. They never did what they were supposed to and he hated them with a burning passion. Tommy nodded besides him. 

“Even if they probably are not even paying attention, try to avoid them and go around on the left. There they have the interrogation rooms which are not allowed to have any windows looking out over the public. That’s where we will paint, alright?” He looked at Tommy whose eyes were shining slightly in the dark, looking back at him with such wonders and curiosity that Wilbur almost envied him. He felt proud over him and never would he have thought that the boy he found in the woods would stand beside him like this today. He had truly gotten far. 

“What should we even paint?” Tommy tilted his head slightly to the side at the question and Wilbur reached up his hand to ruffle the blonde short strands of hair on his head. Tommy pouted at him and tried to fix his hair back to its normal state, sending a glare to the older male. 

“You’ll see, just follow my lead alright? I will see you there. Just walk after me, but wait a few seconds just in case someone is up. I would not want you to get caught and abuse the fact that you are young.” Tommy nodded again as he watched Wilbur quickly run towards the building, keeping himself low and close to walls just in case someone was up to see him. It seemed like no one was however as he got to his destination with ease. Now it was just to wait for Tommy. 

The walls were not completely even, but still even enough to be able to draw on. The cops had truly made a mistake designing this place and Wilbur loved it. He let his hand brush against the rock wall, feeling the cold and dusty surface against his fingers. For now it was only the moon which gave him light and guidance and in his head, the big white ball in the sky was cheering him on for this and silently giving him courage. He smiled before placing down his bag and taking out all the cans of color. 

It did not take long for Tommy to join him, and he shot a smile to the younger boy as he displayed the colors in front of him. The blonde bit his lip as he looked at the wall before looking back at his friend, still feeling a little scared about doing it since it would be a huge step to take. This was actually something that was most likely against the law, he had only done smaller things like participating in demonstrations or putting up flyers around the town about equality. 

Wilbur put an arm around him, sensing the insecurity the other felt about this. He could understand why he felt a little uncomfortable, but on the other hand he really wanted the blonde to do this with him. Maybe it was the brother complex kicking in or maybe he had actually lost his mind lying around and thinking about Dream for too long. It did not matter though and Wilbur had made up his mind about this, this was going to happen.

“I can do the first line?” Wilbur asked and the other nodded. 

Wilbur reached over to grab one of their thickest brushes, dipping it in the red color and getting up on his toes to reach as high as he could. He dragged the brush over the building and Tommy quickly reached over to grab a brush for himself, watching in awe as the other painted. He felt proud, but also a little nervous. They would be screwed if someone caught them. But the thought of that just made Wilbur want to push further as he moved the brush over the wall, smiling at himself.

It made him feel a little better about the whole Dream thing. It made him feel like he was shoving his middle finger up in his face just like Dream had done to him. It was like a great payback, like he was out there ruining his cheating ex’s favorite things. It probably shouldn’t, but it made him feel alive and powerful. They all sucked and they were all horrible people and he would not stop until they realized that what they were doing was wrong and horrible. This would be a statement and it would fill the papers in the morning.

Would he be taken in for questioning about this? He could almost bet money on it. They were already on his heels but as of now they would have no proof that it was he who had helped to do this, it would be so easy to lie for them and get away with it even if they knew that it was him. As long as they did not have any real evidence they were not allowed to keep him in prison or longer than a few hours about this thing. It was perfect and he was loving it a little bit too much.

Tommy was doing a great job next to him, and even if he may not be the best painter it was turning out to look quite good. Wilbur was admiring their work for a second before adding some text over it, carefully writing it and making sure that the paint would not drip or ruin what they had painted. Tommy backed away and when Wilbur was done, he too backed away as to get a better view over their work. 

On the wall was a huge rainbow flag, painted with all the colors that they had managed to bring and it was gorgeous. The colors really stood out against the disgusting pale yellow wall. It looked pretty and cool, almost as if it had gotten taken straight out of a movie and made reality. The two boys felt very proud over themselves as they looked at it before giving each other a high five.

**THERE’S A REVOLUTION COMING**

The letters stood out big and black against it’s rainbow background and it looked quite powerful, a threat but still a promise. They would win this fight and even if they had to die they would keep on pushing to end the shit which was happening around here. For them it was a fight for their friends' happiness and safety, for their lives and other people’s lives as well. They were going to go through with this.

  
For Wilbur it had also taken a strange curve.

No longer was he fighting for his friends alone, he was also fighting against Dream. But at the same time he was not. He just wanted to prove to him that there was nothing wrong with this and that whatever he had learned growing as a cop was wrong. He once had believed in kindness and equality, he could do it again. He wanted Dream to believe in it once again and to have a change of heart, if not for the world then for him. 

Those times in the woods, that promise which they had made to each other and how close they had been. Maybe it had been more than a friendly love for each other, maybe it had been something more that neither of them had been old enough to understand. It was probably only on Wilbur’s side since Dream did not seem to have had any trouble leaving him behind, but still. There had to have been something, if anything there. Or, he wished there had been. 

“Should we head back?” Wilbur turned to Tommy and the blonde smiled before nodding, packing up their stuff and being careful to not get paint all over themselves or their clothes. That would have been great evidence for the cops and they could not afford that. Maybe they should throw the brushes into the woods just in case. 

“The hell?” 

Both of them snapped their heads to the side to see a figure standing there, looking at them before looking at the wall with the big ass graffiti painted on it. The figure then returned their gaze towards them and if Wilbur squint hard enough, he could see that the figure was wearing a uniform. But not just any uniform…. It was the exact same uniform for the higher ups, and only a few actually wore them. 

His blood turned to ice as he looked up towards the figure’s face, trying to see if he could make out any features with the help of the moonlight. Lucky for him it was placed so that it shunned down on the figure instead of them and it was not hard to tell who it was once he looked closer. Only one person had that blonde hair and only one person was tall enough to compete in the little competition of who was the tallest. 

“Run.” 

Tommy was quick on his feet as Wilbur fished up his bag and ran all that he could away from the scene, knowing that if they got caught it was over for them. They could get taken in for this and now they would have no alibi and no safety lie to hide behind. They would be caught red handed and it would suck, a lot. They had to get out of there and they had to get out of there as fast as possible before it was too late. They were screwed, they were so fucking  _ screwed.  _

“Come back!” Dream yelled after them and took off, running after them at the same speed as Wilbur could remember. Dream had always been faster than him, but here is the thing. Tommy was also incredibly fast and he believed that he could outrun Dream with ease. Himself on the other hand, he had to play this smart and get out of there using his brain instead of his legs. 

Dream was not far behind him, he knew it. He had grown up with him by his side long enough to know the difference between them even if they had become adults ever since then. It was not hard to miss his features and Wilbur had made sure to take notes of every part of him. If it was for situations like this or just because he was very interested in his childhood friend was up to fate to decide. But for now, he would say that it was for times like these.

“Go, and do not look back!” He changed his voice on purpose, just in case he would manage to get away from Dream and hide somewhere. Tommy did not respond and Wilbur guessed that he had understood what he had meant and where he was going with this. It did not take long until Tommy was running faster and growing further and further away from him, his legs taking him to god knows where.

He could almost feel Dream breathing down his neck and he knew he had to act fast. He could not continue running down this path straight ahead because Dream would catch up to him easily. He had to do something but his mind was in chaos and his chest was screaming at him from the lack of oxygen. His legs hurt and begged him to stop or to slow down, even if he knew he couldn’t. He was already tired and things did not look bright for him. 

In front of him however, he could see a large building coming up and it would be his saving. If he managed to quickly turn around the corner he might be able to buy himself a few seconds of invisibility and get a hiding spot. The darkness would come in handy and it would be hard for Dream to spot him since his clothes would easily blend in with the dark stone bricks. It was perfect, but now he only had to try and fulfill his plan as well. 

He was breathing hard into the cold night air and his ears were ringing. Everything inside of his body was screaming as he felt Dream getting closer to him. Only a few times had he managed to out run the other boy as kids and he wished that he had gone out more often to higher up his speed. But maybe he was not as dumb as he looked, and he could get away from Dream with ease. 

Just as the corner came around, he quickly turned on his heel and darted in between the two buildings. He had almost fallen over in the process as he changed his direction so sudden but he did manage to stay on his feet and get around the building and hide. He managed to run and hide behind a big container which was standing against the wall, sneaking in behind it and holding for his mouth as to not make a sound and alert the other. 

His heart was pounding and it hurt, it was hurting so bad. Tears were starting to fill up in his eyes as the panic overtook his body about getting found out. Dream was right there, he could hear him silently swearing and walking down the alleyway to try and see if he could find the bastard which had destroyed the police station wall. Wilbur closed his eyes and counted silently in his head, praying and begging for Dream to go away and let this nightmare be over. At least Tommy was far away right now and on his way back home. 

When he opened his eyes again, he could see Dream’s feet moving from under the container. He was walking slowly trying to scan the area and Wilbur had to fight the urge to once again dart away as fast as he could. Hopefully Dream would believe that he ran between the buildings and then towards another side of town, maybe that he had even gone to hide in the woods or somewhere else. Anything put here. 

Wilbur wanted to go home and he found himself wishing they had left earlier. He should never had let his guard down and he had been so incredibly stupid for not watching their surroundings and being on lookout. This was his idea and he could have gotten Tommy in trouble. He himself was in huge trouble right now and he was not sure he would be able to get out of it as things looked right now. 

“Fucking shit…” He heard Dream mutter and the brunette turned to look under the container once again to check up on the others movement. He seemed to be turning away to keep looking and Wilbur let out a breath that he was not aware that he had been holding. Dream was gone, he had not been seen. He had actually gotten away with it. 

It took him a few seconds before he dared to slowly get up from his hiding spot and back out into the open alleyway. His legs felt weak underneath him and all he wanted to do was to fall to the ground and just sleep. He was exhausted and the fight or flight instinct was still causing the pumping of adrenaline to course through him. It hurt and he felt shaky, but he would be fine once he got home. Maybe he would have to talk about this with Tommy in the morning or explain to his friends about what had happened. 

Wilbur ran a hand through his hair while taking a step towards the road once again, wanting to run home and escape Dream’s searching eyes which he knew were roaming the streets right now. But before he managed to take another step, his hand was yanked out of his hair and his body was pushed up against the wall with such force that a yelp escaped from his mouth.

His head hit the wall, and a white light flashed before his eyes from the pain. It hurt like a bitch and his legs almost gave up on him as his body hit the wall behind him. Once he finally managed to blink away the white and open his eyes again he found himself staring straight into those green eyes he had grown used to. Those green eyes which looked confused as they studied him. 

Dream was beautiful, even if he looked confused as all hell. It was not hard to tell that the blonde felt proud over himself from managing to catch the culprit which had almost escaped him and Wilbur felt his heart sink in his chest. Dream was holding him in an iron grip and there was no way in hell he would manage to get away from this, there was no way in hell he would ever try to escape the blonde or outsmart him. He was caught and the realization of that hit him hard. 

His whole body wanted to give up and at this point he was sure that the only reason why he was still standing was because of the way Dream was holding him and the anger and spite which was ruling over his body. It was probably the adrenaline too, but he could feel it slowly leaving his body as the disappointment and sadness took over instead. 

Dream looked shocked as he stared at him, looking into the eyes of Wilbur and holding him pinned against a wall. He was not completely surprised that it was Wilbur since he would definitely do something like this, but it also felt unreal that he would catch his friend doing something like this. Never in his life would he have believed that the boy with the brown hair which he had grown up with would be found like this. Never would he have thought that he would be the one to grab a hold of the other trying to catch him and bring him in for illegal activities. 

“You were always the better runner.” Wilbur breathed out, trying to get the oxygen back into his lungs after being so one edge. For a second, Dream could do nothing but stare at him as he looked at the brunette, his cheeks red and his breath heavy from running too much. It was quite clear that he was drained and that in the end Dream was the better runner, but it did not help the feeling which was growing inside of him. His grip around Wilbur tightened and the other man whined silently at the pain. 

“What the hell do you think you are doing? Are you actually stupid?” Dream hissed before shaking Wilbur slightly, feeling pissed off and shocked about the whole thing. Wilbur only cringed as he closed his eyes again so he would not have to look into the green emerald eyes. He wished he had never done it, he wished that he was better. He had failed Tommy. 

“Look at me!” Wilbur opened his eyes again and looked at the blonde, his hair falling slightly over his face as hundreds of different emotions played in his eyes. He looked like he was not sure on what to think or what to say and Wilbur had never seen his friend like that before. If he had to guess, Dream was probably extremely mad at him but also felt the same reluctant as he did. Neither of them wanted to be in this situation, it felt too personal, especially considering their past and the last couple of days.

But some sick twisted side of him looked at Dream and saw all those features that he still had since they were kids. He was gorgeous and the moonlight reflected itself over his cheeks and his nose, showing off all those things that made him beautiful. The green orbs also seemed to be lighter as the moon hit them and for a second he found himself getting lost in them. 

“Dream, do you hate me?” He whispered. 

He was not sure why he had asked it, and it almost felt like he was starting to lose control over his own body as he looked at Dream. He had to know, all those thoughts and all those questions were hurting him and he just had to know. It was quite obvious what the answer would be considering that Dream had basically called him a moron and disgusting when it came to his beliefs. But the dream and all those scenarios which he had made up in his head was playing on repeat and he was no longer sure on what to think. His heart said one thing while his head said another. 

The question seemed to take Dream back, and he actually flinched before coming back to keep the grip around Wilbur. He could only look at him and for a second Wilbur was almost sure that Dream would knock him out and leave him in the alley alone. But no hit ever came and instead the features on Dream’s face softened. 

“Will,” he whispered. “Will I have told you to not ask stuff like that. Do you even know what kind of situation you are in? Are you actually fucking dumb?” Wilbur only smiled and turned his head to the side, feeling the pain spread through his body.

“I just had to know.” 

Dream’s grip around him loosened slightly but he was still holding him still and close to make sure that he would not try to do something funny. But it was pretty obvious to both of them that Wilbur had nothing in him anymore to make him run away from this. He had given up the moment Dream had catched him. 

“I never even answered.”    
  


“Not directly, but you did answer.” 

Dream shook his head and bit on his lip, trying to keep himself steady. He was pissed, but he was also conflicted. This might be the first time that Dream was actually showing something else than what he wanted others to see and Wilbur was not sure if it was an upgrade or the end of him. Dream might just be on the edge and ready to snap at any moment. 

“Assume things one more time and I will fucking show you.” Dream hissed and Wilbur could only chuckle, not feeling afraid anymore. He had given up, there was no point in it anymore. 

So many years had he spent longing for the other and so many times had he wished to meet him. He had been foolish to believe that there would be hope in trying to make Dream change his mind about things. He had been foolish to think that there would still be some hope between them and that things could maybe change. Why was he such an idiot? He had almost even gotten Tommy in danger just because he was not able to keep his emotions in check. 

“Dream, I’m sorry.” Dream glanced at him. 

“Don’t apologize. Will please just,” Dream backed away, releasing his grip on the other and looking away from him. The brunette felt confusion wash over him like a wave as he stared at the blonde, his eyes wide open at the strange turn of events. He could not understand what was happening or what Dream was even doing. Was this some new kind of game that he was not aware of or had Dream actually lost his mind?

“Just go.” 

Wilbur shook his head before taking a step closer to the other, decreasing the space between them before there was nothing left. Wilbur’s arms threw themselves around the blonde and he dug his face into his neck, holding him as tightly as he could to himself without harming him. 

Dream was shocked and confused, his whole body tensed up at the sudden hug which he was getting. Never would he have expected that Wilbur would fucking hug him after getting arrested, and enver in hell would he have thought that Wilbur would have hugged him after all their fights. But here he was, holding onto him as if his life depended on it and Dream was not sure on what to think or what to believe.

Wilbur almost wanted to cry as he held onto the blonde boy. His heart was racing and hurting so badly, it was almost more painful to hug him than it was to hold back from embracing him. But he had to do it, just once. Just once did he have to feel the others body against his and to feel that smell of sweet mint. 

After a long hesitation, Dream bit his lip and slowly wrapped his arms around the other. He rested his cheek against the soft brown locks and kept the sobs in the back of his throat. Tears were threatening to come out and he wanted so badly to apologize for everything that had happened or take back his words. But he knew he couldn’t, he had morals and Wilbur was on the wrong side according to him. It was bad enough that he was doing it but fuck did it feel good. 

It only lasted for a second before Dream pushed his old friend away from himself, once again creating a distance between them. Wilbur looked at him, his heart shattering into a million pieces inside of him but still being curious about what he was thinking. He would pay to know what was going on inside of Dream’s head. 

“Leave.” Dream said with an angry tone, and Wilbur nodded before returning to the darkness and disappearing into the cold night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just fkn kiss already jesus christ...
> 
> Anyways thanks for reading! I hoep you enjoyed it :,) once again dont forget to leave a comment! They really do help with these chapters and they make me feel so incredibly happy. 
> 
> btw i found someone on tiktok who had read my story and i almost cried i sat in bed on the verge of t e a r s snfonwo
> 
> Have a good day/ night! Love you all <3


	8. Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikki and Wilbur have a small fight about Wilbur's behaviour, and a small change of pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there people!!  
> This chapter is slightly special, because you see... I switched it over to Dream's pov for a little! So we are getting a little view into his side of the story.
> 
> This chapter is slightly shorter and im sorry for that- but i am quite tired and as of now this is the best i could do!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it, and thank you all for commenting ;_; It makes me happy and keeps me writing, especially in times like these. They are the reason i push to get these out so they are incredibly important- 
> 
> Have a great day! Love you all

When Wilbur came back home again, the sun tickling in the back of his neck he was met with a very disapproved look from Nikki who had her arms crossed over her chest. She was leaning against the wall and staring at him, almost as if she had been waiting for him to get home to start and yell at him. Her eyes stared right through him and he could almost see the burning anger which showed themselves in her orbs and for once he actually felt quite scared about his friend. She was very tiny, but she looked like she could kill him if she as much wanted too. Wilbur walked in and closed the door carefully behind him, trying to not wake up the others in vain. 

He felt confused and tired, exhausted from trying to get away from Dream and their little talk. It had been playing with his emotions and with his head and he was not sure on what to think about it all. His head was a mess and so was his chest ached from all the overwhelming feelings which were roaming free around him. It hurt but at the same time he somehow felt relieved, as if one of his dreams had come true and he had finally managed to hug the other even if it was the worst hug in all of history. He was not sure why he had done it, because he really should not have. Dream was cruel and could have thrown him into jail or beaten him bloody right there and then. 

That also leads to the question, why did he let him go?    
  


Before Dream had not been hesitant to take him in or to yell at him, tell him all about what kind of bad person he is and what he was doing was wrong against all morals. Hell, Dream had even accused him of doing some horrible things together with his friends. Things he would never be able to bring himself to do or to say. Dream was completely fucked in the head and Wilbur should hate him for it, he should hate Dream just like he hated everyone else who spewed that same bullshit. But for some reason he just could not bring himself to do it, something inside of his chest screamed at him that there was something else going on here. 

Maybe it was the dumb beliefs that the old Dream was still in there, the Dream who hugged him and who stood by the weak no matter what and never betrayed him. The Dream who saw good in everyone and always tried his best to be there for people even if no one seemed to be certain of him. That’s the Dream he had learned to know and that’s the Dream that he loved and cared for. Wilbur hoped and prayed that he was still in there somewhere and that maybe this was some sort of facade that he had to hide away from the world. It sounded childish, but he truly did hope.

He wanted old Dream back, and he would try his damn hardest to try and get him out of this dark place he had managed to get himself into. Was it the world around him or had he truly grown out of the kindness and turned into the evil man he was today? Had something happened to him once he had disappeared or was he just not comfortable to be around him anymore? There were a hundred questions circling around inside of his head and maybe one day he could ask Dream about it, but as of now the future looked dark and cold. Maybe there was no future for them anymore, maybe Dream had changed too much. 

But that hug was a desperate call of hope and need, a wanting from Dream and a test to see if the boy he loved was still in there. Is that what this whole thing was about? Maybe it was not just the hope that Dream could change which had made him throw himself at the other so hard, maybe it was because of the years he had studied their picture and memorized every single stain of ink that had left a scar on his heart. It was stupid and Wilbur almost cringed at himself when he thought about it. 

Falling for someone in a picture was never a good idea, falling for someone you basically had made up in your head was definitely not a good idea and was probably the worst possible thing you could do. Dream was not the child he had grown to cherish, he was not even Dream anymore. He was Clay, a higher up officer who believed that if you are not a white heterosexual then you are not welcome around or sane. It was sick and he wanted to punch him in the face, but on the other hand it sounded so much against what Dream had said and what he had done as a kid that there had to be something behind it. 

Wilbur wanted to know what, he wanted to figure out this older version of his friend and he wanted to make things right again. It was just that he could not socialize with a person from the other end of the war just because they had some history together and because he had managed to grow something for him. He could not be seen with him since it would send mixed signals and he did not even want to know what his friends would think about him if they saw them together. Tommy already had seen them, Tommy already knew and that was incredibly dangerous if he decided to spread it. He prayed that he wouldn’t.

Something Wilbur was pretty sure he had spread on the other hand, was their little adventure to the police station. Nikki would not just sit up because she could and the fact that she looked like she was about to go full out rage mom on him just confirmed it. He could not see Tommy however so maybe she had grounded him or made sure that he stayed in his room for the rest of the day. Or maybe she had gone even further and forced him back into bed. He could see both options. 

He scratched the back of his neck anxiously as he looked at her, fear and guilt spreading through his chest like a wildfire as she stared him down. He had really fucked up and he knew it, she did not need to tell him that it had been incredibly stupid and dangerous. He was supposed to be an adult, he was even far more than an adult but even so he had lured the teenager out of the house to paint on the walls of the police station. He really did deserve a beating when he thought about it. Things could not have ended as well as they did know. 

“What in the actual hell is up with you, Wilbur?” The words were hissed as she spoke them, anger seeping out of her and making the brunette start to fear for his life. Nikki is incredibly scary whenever she is mad and this is not an exception. He had fucked up and she was going to make damn sure that the other knew about it if she so had to write it on his forehead. She did not move which scared him even more, she must be pissed. 

He did not say anything while looking at her, those eyes cutting deep into him as her fingers gripped on harder on her arms, probably trying to control her anger and to keep her voice down. The others were still asleep and she wanted to keep it that way to avoid questions or them accidentally cheering him on for doing something they believed to be good. They did not know the full story. Half the story sounded amazing and like they were gods, the second part made them sound like they were trying to get themselves killed.

Wilbur swallowed and turned his head away from her, not being able to keep eye contact for much longer since her eyes were burning him. In a very different way than Dream’s eyes burned him. He cringed at himself as the thought hit him, why did everything always go back to Dream? He really needed to get his mind off of him soon.

“Look, I’m sorry-”

The ‘ha’ escaping her mouth shut him up almost immediately as she stood up straight, unlocking her arms and walking closer to him. Wilbur watched her carefully and felt the way his body tensed up once again at the new fear which was starting to creep up on him. If it continued on like this he would end up having a heart attack from all the panic and intense situations he had been put in. It never seemed to end and at this point he was going to have the heart of a sick elder. 

“You’re sorry, Wilbur?” Wilbur covered his mouth with his hand trying to control himself and not get some sort of mental breakdown. He really did not want to do this right now and he really just wanted to go to bed and pretend none of this had ever happened or think about how it had all gone so wrong. He also had to sort himself out about Dream since every time they opened their mouth around each other something happened and they either got way too close or ended up fighting. It must be a skill at this point. 

“Not only did you risk getting yourself hurt, you risked getting Tommy into this mess too! He is sixteen years old! Do you know what they would have done if they had managed to catch him?” Her hair swung around as she moved, trying to express her anger and not being able to stand still. She was clearly upset and to be honest Wilbur could not blame her for it, he also would have been angry if the roles had been turned around. It had been stupid, but it sounded quite good in the moment and Tommy had looked happy. He never meant for it to turn out this way.

Wilbur tried to keep himself calm and to not freak since this was not about him. He had to take responsibility for his own actions, he was no longer a little kid running around doing whatever he wanted. He had put both him and Tommy in some deep shit and had it been anyone else than Dream he would have been dead by now. Or well no one except Dream would have been able to catch up to him since he was a fast runner but one never knows. At least the cops he knew were not as good as him when it came to sprinting like that. Many years of being lowkey on the edge had taught him that much.

“Why would you even do this? You ignore him for days straight and then take him out in the middle of the night to get chased by cops? Is this your sick way of saying sorry or am I missing something?” She wanted answers and she wanted to know the reasons why. But the more she spoke the more Wilbur realized that it was not only anger hiding behind her words, it was also worry. 

The way she sometimes had to say words a little louder or how she sometimes got quiet voice cracks. Her eyes also fluttered every now and then almost as if she was trying to keep tears away from falling and it was now that Wilbur started to understand more on why she seemed to be so upset. He himself had to try and keep his guilt at bay as he looked at the clearly distressed girl in front of him. 

He had seen her like this before and he knew it did not mean anything good. Last time it was because he had gone out to get drunk and ended up in a bar fight where a knife suddenly had gotten involved from the other side. He almost got stabbed in the chest that day but instead it had hit in his arm. Nikki was the one who had been at home trying to patch him up once again while scolding him for being reckless and a complete ass. He could only remember her words vaguely and sobering up with a cut in your arm had been one of the worst pains he ever had to endure. 

He could only remember small bits of how she almost screamed at him as tears filled those eyes, rolling down her cheek every now and then while cleaning him up with a cloth drenched in water. He had managed to heal up completely fine incredibly fast but there was still a big scar left on his arm from the incident which stood on his skin like a cruel memory. That was over seven years ago, it was incredible how fast time seemed to move. 

“Nikki, I am aware. I am incredibly sorry.” She groaned before covering her face and leaning back against the wall besides them, the anger and sadness bubbling inside of her like lava. Wilbur felt like he should leave her alone, the air around them feeling cold and empty. He was freezing and his whole body was aching and hurting. How long he could keep on fighting with her was a question that he could not answer, but he guessed that the answer was not much longer. He already felt himself almost collapsing right there and then in front of her.

“That’s not enough, Will!” She looked up at him, uncovering her face to reveal the tear stains which littered her cheeks. It broke his heart and he was quick on his feet to reach out to pull her into a hug.

At first she tried to push him away, but he kept his hold on her until she gently sobbed and clung on to his shirt as a life line. The small figure in his arms was shaking and Wilbur only stared into the air as the realization that he was the reason behind her pain hit him. It was unfair, it was so incredibly unfair that his pain had to be taken out on them. But he was not sure on what to do since he himself felt so lost and confused about the whole thing. 

What was he supposed to do when everything he had ever known suddenly fell and crashed against the floor, shattering into a million pieces like a mirror. Dream was just that, a dream. But now he was here alive and well while being a completely changed person. A changed person which Wilbur found himself still caring about and that he mattered more than he could ever believe in a way which he was not sure about. He felt lost and he had no one to talk to about the whole thing since he had kept Dream a secret for so long. 

His secret was almost out and he was fighting so hard to keep it in and to not let it get revealed for all of his friends. Now more than ever since he knew what Dream was like as an adult and what his mindset was. It was so fucked, so extremely fucked and he was letting the beautiful things he already had ruin it. Dream was ruining everything for him and even so he longed for the blonde boy with the emerald green eyes more than anything else. He was a horrible person. 

Soon however, Nikki calmed down and only rested her cheek against his chest. She held onto him for the first time in two weeks and buried herself into his shirt. She had missed her friend and she wished that she knew what was wrong in order to help him. But the brunette had always been secretive and stubborn like no other when it came to specific things. She could only assume that he had fallen into something deep that he did not want to share. Maybe they had threatened him at the station the day of the demonstration? She was really not sure and she wanted to find out. 

“Wilbur, what’s going on? You can talk to me, please.” She silently begged as she traced her fingers over the pattern of his shirt, finding some sort of comfort in doing so. Wilbur breathed as softly as he could to not disturb her and let his fingers play with her hair. 

“I’m sorry, Nikki. I don’t even know how to explain it to myself, let alone you.” He admitted and she went silent once again. 

One thing he had learned about the girl was that she liked to be very close and that she was one of the sweetest people out there. She always wanted to help others no matter what and in that way she reminded him of how Dream had been as a kid. They had a few similarities but they were still two completely different people. He cared for them both although Dream might be on a shaky edge at the moment. He still needed to figure out what to think when it came to him. But Nikki? She would never be able to hurt a soul even if she tried. 

Wilbur had no idea what time it was but at least he knew the sun was on its way up, showing itself over the horizon and promising a sunny day which would lend them some warmth. He was not sure if he felt like enjoying a sunny day, he would rather sit inside his room to listen to the rain and play a few tunes on his guitar alone. Maybe he could at least play for a little while during the day without anyone asking to go outside for a walk or to run a few errands in town. 

Nikki let go of him and so Wilbur reluctantly released the girl as well to let her step away. She was no longer crying but she was wiping away the proof of the past tears. Her eyes were glossy and slightly puffy, red spreading across them in a soft manner making her look like she was sick or was coming down with a fever. Maybe he should keep an extra eye on her for a few days to make sure that she did not get herself sick. 

“Go to bed, Nikki. Try to get a few more hours, alright? Maybe you can run away to Minx later?” She nodded before looking away from him, turning her back and walking towards her room. She mumbled a quiet ‘goodnight’ before walking into her bedroom and closing the door behind her, leaving Wilbur to stand by himself in the hall. 

For a few seconds he only stood there staring into the wall contemplating his life and what he was supposed to do. Being an adult sounded like the best thing ever as a kid, but he had never felt so scared as he did being the one who was supposed to have the answer and be the perfect role model. He was a mess and he had no idea on what he was supposed to say or how he was going to fix all of this. He was not sure what the right approach was supposed to be regarding this. But for now he could not bring himself to care, all he wanted to do was to sleep. 

So that’s what he did, he walked towards his room and closed the door before falling onto his bed. He brought his knees up his chest and did not even bother taking off his clothes before passing out on top of the covers. It did not take long before he was fast asleep and back in the land of dreams. 

  * \- - - 



  
  


“Please tell me you managed to catch them, it will be a pain in the ass to get that off.” 

Dream entered the building and looked over at his friends who were sitting by their desk, their faces pale from having to get up in the middle of the night because of some kids who had no idea on how to behave. They had barely even gone to sleep in the first place so the two hours they had managed to get were not doing wonders for them. Nick looked like he was ready to pass out right there and then.

“They got away, I’m afraid. Disappeared like ghosts.” The blonde lied before slumping down in a chair, sitting down next to them and staring at the papers in front of them. On them, countless of words and photographs were scribbled down and plastered on almost as if it was a book you had in elementary school. It was stupid and he was slowly giving up wanting to go back into the capital. He had his own office over there and things actually got done and happened. 

Over in the capital, there were murder cases to get solved and robberys which made your jaw fall in awe at how good they were constructed. He liked to use his brain to try and figure the criminals out to later catch them. It was an amazing feeling to be out on the field always on the run, trying to find whatever bastard was out this time. Over here, life was boring as shit and he wished he had never said yes to coming here. 

They had gotten complaints about demonstrations going on in Manburg, the town in which Dream had been born and partly raised in. He had thought that it would be something cool since it was a small town and nothing ever happened over there, besides he wanted to check if things were still the same. His friends had wanted to tag along as well to maybe check things out as well and see how Dream had grown up and where he had come from.

In one way, they were impressed. The buildings were different and they looked close to foreign as they stretched themselves around the roads which reminded them of a growing tree. It was beautiful and calm, a whole different aura than the capital where you could not get a single second of quiet. Here it was calm at night and the small lanterns which aligned the main road gave almost the feeling of a wonderland or something taken out of a book. 

On the other hand, it was extremely boring. 

Nothing ever seemed to happen and the so-called ‘demonstration’ had been a train of around hundred people just doing their thing trying to disrupt the normal day of everyone else. They had not even been able to catch much of it since the people who seemed to be doing the most harm were bystanders, which were the people they did not want to catch. They wanted the people in the demonstration to do something as to catch them red handed and finally put an end to all of their stupid ideas and doings. But nothing, besides one guy who was not even guilty, had been done to stop it. 

Now they were sitting around trying to figure out names and where they were going to strike next. They had to keep an eye on them and their boss back in town had said that it could work like a small vacation for the boys who did nothing else but rush into work. No one liked it and they all just wanted to go home and return to their normal lives. 

Dream however, had acted quite strangely and seemed to disappear at times just to come back looking like he had just watched his cat get killed right in front of him. Nick and George had tried every time to maybe get something out of him but Dream never caved in and kept his stone face on. It made the two men want to yell at him, but they knew that it would do more harm than good and so they kept it to themselves hoping that Dream might break it soon. 

“Fucking geez dude, I’m happy to see where you grew up but this place really sucks. I understand why you left.” Nick’s voice rang inside his head and Dream felt his whole body grow cold at the words, wanting to scream and run away but keeping his cool. Instead of acting out he chuckled and shook his head, picking up a pen and playing with it. He looked over to the man and smiled.

“I know right?” He was not sure how many times he had lied during their trip down here and to be honest, he was not sure how much longer he could keep it up. He had liked it when he was a kid and it was not until a few years later that he realized it was actually a hell hole. Sure, it was nice and all but he would never grow out there as a person and he would probably fall into beliefs that were simply not true and that could have potentially ruined his whole life. 

He should be happy that his parents had grabbed onto his arm and pulled him out of there as quickly as they could, and in a way he was. But another part of him hated it to the point where he felt sick and twisted. The place had not changed too much and he could remember the basic outline of everything and where stuff was, but a few things struck him as weird. 

Suddenly some buildings were left closed and new houses were aligning the roads and it was a lot brighter than it was when he was a kid. Now there were lamps all scattered around the place looking like small stars when he sat at the station looking out. As a kid they had only had half the strength they had now and in a way it felt strange, but he was also proud that some things had improved. 

Another thing which had made him accept the invitation out was the old memories. The memories of the boy with the brown eyes and the chocolate curls which always flew wildly around his head whenever he walked. He could remember it all as clear as day and every conversation at the end felt like they had latched themselves onto his brain. They were as clear as fresh water but they were also bitter sweet, hurting him silently. 

He wanted to know about him and if he still hung around and what had happened to him. He thought that he too would have left the place or at least taken on a job somewhere. Maybe he would even have a wife which he lived with. But everything crashed to the ground when he had seen him in the middle of it all, looking so proud and so happy and just  _ determined _ at the front of the demonstration which he had been asked to keep an eye on. It was sick, his stomach had turned when he first saw him. But his friends had been behind him and there was nothing else he could have done but to keep his stone cold expression. 

Wilbur was alive and he seemed to be doing well, but the things he was doing were never something he would have expected. The rainbow flags which he waved around apparently stood for some sort of freedom- freedom to people which should not deserve it. It was a horrible view and he had almost felt himself want to turn around at the sight, way too many memories waking up inside his head and messing with him. 

It had hurt, and he had felt a panic rise within his chest staring at the man he once knew. Their conversations as kids rang inside of his head while looking at him and he felt disgusted both by him and himself. At that point, he was not sure what to think. Everything that he had done in his life, everything he had gotten to know and beaten into his head suddenly broke. He had not been sure on what to do or what to say. 

Of course he had thought about him, he had missed the way his eyes lit up whenever he laughed or their stupid games they usued to play with each other. He had always wondered where he was now and how he was doing in life, but he also felt ashamed over himself thinking about him. He had not even said goodbye before leaving his best friend behind, leaving as early as they could in the morning as his parents smuggled him out of town. Only a necklace did he leave the other to try and make up for the pain he was about to cause. 

He wanted to see him, even if he had no idea what he was supposed to say. He thought that maybe Wilbur would be a busy man or have started something on his own in the town which they had lived in together. But instead he saw the man doing things that he was supposed to put an end to, demonstrating against things that he had done in his life for the past few years as work. His whole picture of how Wilbur was supposed to be had shattered in the matter of seconds. 

Nick and George were his best friends, but never ever in his whole life could he tell them that his childhood friend was in the lead of the fucking demonstration. They would never be able to look at him the same way and maybe they would think that he stood for the same things as they did. If he did take the sides of this demonstration or show any support for it he was sure that his job would be snatched away from him faster than the wind. He would lose all his friends and everything his parents had worked so hard for would all wither and die. 

Therefore he made sure to keep his mouth shut and his glance dark and cold. He was not going to give in and try to talk to Wilbur in front of them, the fact that he was sneaking out was already risky enough. They could not know, and in some way he was scared that it would actually be Wilbur who would be the one to yell out something about them when George and Nick were around. Therefore he had tried to close the blinds when it was just them. He could not control himself around Wilbur, maybe it was their childhood creeping up on him.

It had to be, he would accept no other answer than that they had history between each other and that he felt slightly guilty for just abounding him as kids. I mean yeah, it had not really been his fault since it had been his parents who had told him to never talk to the kid again but still. The fact that he had gotten him that necklace had been risky enough, hopefully it made up for some of the things he had done. Not that it mattered now anyways considering Wilbur was being an absolute moron out there. 

“I mean at least we can sleep… If we don’t count last night.” George gave them half a smile before standing up and grabbing a glass of water, walking lazily over to try and wake himself up a little more. It was five thirty in the morning and they wanted nothing more but to go back to sleep and deal with this whole thing in a few hours. But it had to be documented as fast as it happened. No one of them felt like it and Nick groaned, resting his head against the wooden desk. 

Dream looked at his friends and smiled to himself, feeling happy that he at least had them by his side as long as he kept a low profile. He really enjoyed the two and they had met during the first year of taking the police education, ending up in the same class and clicking almost immediately with each other and becoming great friends. He liked them a lot and they had been there for him multiple times. They were beautiful people. 

The blonde scooted over to grab a few files, looking through them until he found one peculiar file which seemed to be filled to the brim with different entries. It was somehow the one he had been looking for as well and he glanced over to his friends, making sure they were not watching, before opening it to reveal the first page. 

There he was met with light brown eyes who looked back at him, eyes which hid so many things and woke something inside of his chest. Wilbur could not be older than fourteen in that picture and he looked very serious and almost depressed as he stared into the camera. It was a little hard to tell, but the locks of brown hair seemed to have been put up in a similar ponytail as he had when they were kids. It made Dream raise an eyebrow, but he brushed it off as a coincidence before looking further into the file.

On the next page he looked slightly older, maybe sixteen. This time he looked like he barely got any sleep but he was still wearing a smirk on his face as if he had gone insane. It felt strange to look at him and Dream was not sure on what had made him smile like that. Maybe it was just to piss the other cops off? He looked further down the page.

_ Accusation: Start of fire at schoolyard. No injured.  _

Dream looked closer at the letters, finding it quite hard to believe that Wilbur would be the one to try and start fires. Usually it was groups of people or men in their twenties trying to create as much damage as possible. When he read further about the fire he felt confused as to what had made Wilbur do this, it did not sound like his friend at all. 

He had stolen alcohol and poured it out over the schoolyard in the middle of the night before lighting a match and throwing it onto there. A large area had been on fire but the actual school building had been left mostly unharmed. No one had been around to get caught in the fire and they had only found Wilbur alone at the scene smiling and watching it happen, not even fighting the cops as they took him in. 

Another thing that shocked him was that Wilbur had not gotten any damage bills to pay for, maybe because he had not actually done too much damage except leaving dark spots on the ground. There had also been no talking to the parents or guardian contact which felt very strange since that was often on top of the list to do in these situations. 

  
  
  


_ Will Gold _

_ Guardians/Parents:  _ **_DECEASED_ **

  
  


Dream almost dropped the file he was holding once he read it, and to make sure he had not seen something he read it again. And again, and again. It felt strange and unreal, what had happened to his parents in that time period? Dream had never seen his dad once he thought about it but his mom had seemed healthy besides acting a little strange. So them being dead hit him as odd. 

He decided to look further into it later and continued to look through the file, opening up another page to read about the strange things Wilbur had done in his life. This time Wilbur seemed to be around seventeen years old with a cut straight on his cheek. His eyes were also slightly darker which were probably indications of a blood vessel being popped. Dream shook his head not knowing what to think. A street fight, in the middle of the night. 

It felt unreal that Wilbur had been involved in these things. As a child he had been scared to even step on ants and was always careful to not break sticks off from healthy trees and instead focusing on getting his ‘weapons’ from sticks on the ground. He had been such a loving and sweet child, there was no way in hell that he could have done these things.

Not wanting to read more of it, Dream jumped to one of the later pages trying to find out more personal information which would stay true today. On the second to last page he found ‘Personal Info’ and he scanned over it quickly, reading things such as work, date of birth and biological parents. At the end of the page he found ‘residency’ and traced it towards an address which did not sound familiar. It must be one of the new buildings which have come along over the years. He memorized it before closing the file. 

He glanced over towards his friends again who seemed to be busy doing their own thing and opened up the drawer with the files, gently putting it back again so as to not harm it or to alarm the others. He felt dirty for doing this and looking through Wilbur’s file, but he was curious and he just had to know what had happened over the years.

Wilbur had not seemed to be doing well, violence and alcohol apparently getting into his life at an early age with both of his parents deceased. Maybe an accident had happened or maybe Wilbur had something to do with it? It could not be something spectacular since he had no memory of reading about it in the newspaper, on the other hand, anything that happened out here stayed here. No one cared about the little town by the forest who seemed to be doing good on their own. 

Dream could not believe it, Wilbur seemed to be happy even if he was in the middle of a demonstration. He had friends from what he had seen, although he was not sure why he had brought a sixteen year old boy with him like that. Dream had no memory of Wilbur having any siblings or something like that. So who was it? He could not try to find him either since he had not been able to see his face in the dark. All he knew was that he was tall and young judging by the way his body was formed. 

“Hey Nick?” He asked and his friend looked up lazily, blinking away the sleepiness from his eyes and trying to focus on the other man. 

“Yeah, what’s up?”   
  
“Can you check out the files of a Mr and Ms ‘Gold’? They are the deceased parents of the guy I brought in last week and I suspect that their death may have something to do with this. I need to know the cause of death and if they involved their son in any way.” Dream smiled at him as Nick gave him a thumbs up.

“Sure Clay, whatever you say man.” 

Dream glanced back over the clock, deciding that he would wait a few hours to not look suspicious. He had to go and see Wilbur and ask him about all of these things. He also felt like he had to see the other for more reasons than that. He wanted to know what had happened when he was gone and why he was like this today. He wanted to see the way he lived and if he was alone or not. 

Something inside of him was burning and he was not sure what the reason behind it was. It felt like Wilbur held the answers but why, Dream was not sure. He just felt like there was something dragging him towards Wilbur and in all honesty it was frightening, not being sure why he was feeling the way he did. Maybe it was because they once had a connection to each other which was now gone and blown away like the wind. 

Maybe it was the mystery about who Wilbur was, what his friends were like and what he had become. Dream was not sure on how the other had reacted once he had left, but he guessed that he had hurt him based on how Wilbur was acting around him. It felt weird to be besides him once again and a lot of the things Wilbur did confused him. 

The way that he had just randomly decided to hug him an hour or so ago had hit him hard. He had not been sure on what to do and never before had he felt so many emotions at once. The words of his parents and the people around him were ringing inside of his head as something else burned inside his chest. Something which was dangerous but incredibly inviting. He wanted to dive deeper but he was afraid that it was the same thing he had felt but as a child which had made him leave Wilbur behind. 

If it was the same, he would have to make a run for it as fast as he could and never look back in his life again. Wilbur reeked of satan or some sort of bad power which lured over him, dragging him in. It was a strange thing and he felt bewitched around him. He could barely stand being around that man for more than five minutes and staring at him made him weak. It was bad, and he knew it. He had been trying his whole life to swallow it and the pain which he had endured was the only reason he managed to control himself. 

All those cuts and bruises littering his body which were reminders of what kind of disgusting creature he was, they were all there so that he would never forget that he was not actually worthy of this life and that he was no better than the scum out on the street unless he keeped it locked up. So that’s what he did, but Wilbur seemed to be turning the key and threatening to unleash it once again. 

Dream stared at the clock as he felt his heart pick up, beating faster and harder inside of him. He would leave in just a few hours and he would put an end to this whole madness. He would stop the demonstration from going further and he would make things return to normal before leaving for good and never look back. He just had to stand this for a little while longer and then he could go home and never look at Wilbur again. 

When his mission was done, the green stone which he had gotten formed into a leaf was going to get buried to never see the light of day ever again. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cosplayed Dream in an abounded institution once, now its dark and i cant do it which makes me sad... fuck scandinavia sometimes man. Although i did instead cosplay him in an emtpy school yard at night- it was fun.
> 
> ///////////////I also did Wilbur because I am a simp- now i just gotta find someone who can cosplay them with me ahahah,,,,,,,,
> 
> Anyways, i hope you all enjoyed the chapter and that it did not feel too confusing! I usually hate doing change of pov, a lot.......
> 
> Take care of yourself! I love you all lots <3 Until next time


	9. If you chose life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small backstory on Wilbur, who later starts talking to Eret until a visitor comes along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!  
> I want to start off by saying that this chapter has incredibly heavy themes in the beginning. I want to put a small TW on it just in case since it involves a lot of blame, violence and suicide. If any of these triggger you, please do NOT read it. There will be a little marker which tells when the flashback is over. After that I think its mostly safe to read. 
> 
> By the way,, I made a playlist on youtube for this fanfic! (i would have made it on spotify but i share that with my parents and i would really like to keep that private lmao). Some songs may be blocked judging by the country you live in, however. But I hope that most of them are available. Here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVN1QLip-w2EdJ9mp7RBNRw2t5MJ6oiAZ Otherwise you can go on youtube and search on "You Caused It" playlist. My username is the same as here, AKA "Dexilt". 
> 
> It's incredibly funny to read your theories, they are very interesting and I like to hear everyones thoughts :-) just wanted to write in a thank you! They really help
> 
> Also please note that there will be grammar mistakes and typos. I usually write this in one go and i do not proof read it. Im a lazy shit who clicks on "Control" and lets the computer do its work. I hope they are not too annoying...
> 
> Anyways, happy reading! I hope you can all enjoy the chapter despite the heavy themes.

_ The hallway was dark as he walked down it, the path feeling way longer than it usually did. The carpet was soft against his naked feet and over his body hung a thin nightgown, caressing his skin as it swayed among his legs. It felt soft but cold, the air hanging heavy around him as the curtains swayed from where they hung, covering the windows and every now and then letting in small waves of light coming off from the moon. It looked scary and lonely, he could not see a single thing in the dark besides the silhouettes which made themselves known.  _

_ His heart was beating hard inside of his chest and he could hear his own breaths which were heavy but fast. His eyes were scanning the hall which he walked down to get to his parents room, his parents who had been there to raise him and stand next to him. Or had they? He was not sure on what parents did but until last month they had been loving and caring about him, treating him as if he was a precious gem stone. But ever since that day he had heard his parents screaming at each other and different vases breaking. Loud noises were now normal around and Wilbur felt lost in it. Sometimes, he even blamed himself.  _

_ After living here for all of his life and growing up inside these walls he had learned every turn and every wall. He could walk through his home with his eyes closed easily after years of learning and this time was no exception. Even so, the small boy could sense that there was something that was just not right. He had heard the usual screams and loud noises but now it had gone completely quiet. Not a single sound was heard from inside of the house and it was making him feel more and more scared the closer to his parents room he got.  _

_ He stood in front of the door and his hands were shaking as he stretched out to grab a hold of the handle and push it down, opening up to look inside his parents room. He would have hoped that they would have fallen asleep or given up on fighting for the night, he had hoped that his parents would be resting in their bed and sleep away the night. But never had his wishes come true, and this one had seemed to reverse his wish as much as one could. _

_ His mother was in bed, her hair a mess as the blonde locks laid over the covers in a manner he had never seen before. Her arm was stretched out while the other was laying close to her body gently. She looked like she was sleeping, but at the same time she looked like one of those stone statues which he had seen in the capital whenever he had visited during school breaks. She looked calm, way too calm and as if she had turned into a stone. That’s when he heard a dripping noise, looking closer at her arm and seeing a dark stream running down her porcelain skin.  _

_ He was not stupid and he knew what it was, he knew what it was running down her arm even if he had no idea how it had been running over her arm. She was laying down in bed, there must have been a struggle and this must be the reason why he had heard those screams.  _

_ Next to the bed he saw his dad looking down over his wife. He was holding what looked to be a knife in his hand which was also stained, the arm of his shirt full of different splatters and a pool like spot on his chest where he must have been against her body. There must have been a fight, the whole room looked like it was a mess. Pillows were harmed and small feathers were resting on the floor and on the bed, looking so soft and pure like comparing to the scene in front of him.  _

_ He could not see his father’s face, it was too dark to see his expression or try to read what he was thinking or feeling. It was scary and Wilbur felt his whole body tense up and his mind go blank at the sight, barely being able to look away from his mother laying in bed dead.  _

_ He was not sure if he was breathing or not anymore and his stomach turned at the sight, nausea hitting him hard in the face as he covered his mouth and doubled over. He tried his best to now throw up and to keep whatever he had in, not wanting to get yelled at. He was scared that the wrong reaction would set his father off and at this point his fight or flight instincts were going to kick in any time soon. He still however stood shocked while focusing on not puking on the floor.  _

_ He could hear footsteps behind him but he dared not to turn around, fearing for his life knowing that his father was walking up behind him. With one swift movement his life could be taken straight out of his hands and he would no longer exist. No longer would he meet his friends he had made and the chances of ever seeing Dream again would be ripped away. Tears were streaming down his face at this point and he could no longer feel shame over it.  _

_ He wanted to scream, to turn to look at the man who had loved him and beg for him to stop and to be his normal self again. He wanted his father back and he did not want to die tonight. He wanted his mother back as well, to hear her soft voice and to feel her fingers make small braids in his hair. He wanted the lively tone to come back where the only thing hanging in the air was the smell of baked bread and the aura of love.  _

_ “It was her own fault.” His father said and Wilbur finally turned around to face his father, finally being able to see his face more clear. Those eyes were empty and cold, he could see no emotion in them and his face was numb. Not a single muscle was moving and he looked to be way too calm. It frightened the boy even more, no remorse or guilt in his face.  _

_ “What did she do?” He heard how his voice shook as he spoke, revealing the fear which he was feeling. It was so quiet around them, too quiet. The smell of blood and iron filling his nose and hurting him, overtaking his senses and making him feel dizzy. All he wanted to do was to run out of there and never look back, to flee the scene and forget everything he had ever seen. He wished Dream was there to protect him, but that boy had left him behind as well.  _

_ “You,” his father said with a chuckle. “She made you.”  _

_ Wilbur could feel the way his heart stopped in his chest for a second as he choked on his breath. Everything inside of him seemed to turn itself in a way which could only be described as painful while looking up to the man who had cared for him all of his life. He could not believe what he was saying, he could not understand what was going on and it felt like his whole life was shattering into pieces.  _

_ Wilbur took one step back, looking at his father with fear. Never in his life had he feared someone else than what he did now and usually whenever he felt scared he would run to hide with his father. Now it was his father he had to run from and his mother would never be able to save him. She was gone, just like he would be any minute.  _

_ “Do not leave, Will.” His father spoke coldly, all emotions drained from him and left him an empty cold shell. Wilbur wanted it to be a nightmare, a really bad dream which he could wake up from and continue on with his life. But no matter how much he tried he could not make himself wake up and he understood that this was reality, this was real.  _

_ “You don’t want to do that to her, do you? You already got her killed. Are you going to leave her to rot as well?” Wilbur shook his head and stood his ground, guilt filling up inside his chest as his eyes wandered back towards his mother who was dead besides him. If he reached out he could probably touch her, but he did not dare to. He did not dare to confirm that his mother was really dead right in front of him.  _

_ He wanted to cry and to throw up. His heart was broken beyond repair and everything inside of him just hurt and there was no one who could fix it. He was alone in his home together with the man who had just killed his mother, her blood still fresh on the floor and on the white sheets which were growing darker and darker. He was not even sure what had happened.  _

_ “No father.” Wilbur said meekly, trying to swallow the tears and the lump in his throat which felt like it was going to choke him. He could not breathe normally anymore and his mind felt fuzzy, almost like he was going to pass out any minute. But from what, the boy was not sure.  _

_ “You are a disgrace to us. You are filthy, and dirty. A disgusting creature sent by satan. That we would be the ones getting you is beyond me. Do you understand that, Will?” Wilbur bit back a sob as he nodded, tears streaming down his cheeks while listening to the man.  _

_ “Yes, father.”  _

_ An approving sound came from the other and Wilbur turned his head downwards, trying to look away from the scene and trying to imagine himself being somewhere else. He tried to picture himself out in the woods together with Dream, standing by his side or climbing the trees as they ruled over their kingdom together. He would give anything for it to happen just once more or to try and go back to him. He wanted Dream so badly, but he knew he would never get him back. This was it.  _

_ His father cleaned off the blood from the knife using his shirt, staring at the piece of metal before a twisted smile formed on his face. Wilbur looked up just in time to catch it before it withered away once more, turning his eyes towards his son who was standing in the room. It reeked, and Wilbur was not sure how much longer he could stand it.  _

_ “You are the worst thing that could ever have happened to us. You gotta understand Will that she could have been alive with me if you had just never gotten born. I should have killed you before any of this happened.” He muttered before opening up the curtains, letting the moonlight in and casting shadows around the room. Wilbur did not dare to look towards the bed anymore, afraid to see the last expression glued on to his mother’s corpse. _

_ “What did I do? I don’t understand.” Wilbur softly cried, not being able to hold back anymore. He was trembling and shaking brutally. His whole body was slowly shutting down and he was not sure if he would be able to stand much longer, everything inside of him growing numb.  _

_ “Loving a boy, Will. That’s the biggest sin you could ever have commited. Laying a marriage promise to a boy?” His dad walked closer to him, slowly making his way across his son who was leaning against the wall besides him to keep himself up. It was pathetic and the man tilted his head towards the side while studying him.  _

_ “Where is your little friend now, Will? Left as soon as the word got out, didn’t he? It just proves my point.” The knife felt like it was glowing in the room, being so obvious and so close that he could not focus on anything else.  _

_ He could almost imagine the blade sinking into his body, emptying him of his blood and leaving him like an injured animal to die on the floor. He could almost imagine the pain and the feeling of the metal blade inside of him and this time, he did scream out loud. _

_ He screamed and looked down towards the floor, his lungs crying out and burning as his heart beat hard inside of him. The adrenaline was filling his body up and he could no longer think, he was too afraid. He was too scared but running away would mean immediate death. He knew that his father would catch him in no time and that his threats were not empty. So he screamed his pain out and his father did nothing to stop him. He felt no sympathy, no empathy. He felt nothing.  _

_ “Remember, Will. That this is all your fault. You are the reason behind this. You are the cause of this. You have no one else to blame but yourself. I cannot live knowing that you are my son.” His father sat down in front of him, getting himself to eye-level with the child who had finally stopped screaming. Wilbur did not dare to look.  _

_ “You might as well be holding the knife, Will.” He smiled as he grabbed his son's hands, placing them on top of his own which was holding the knife as he placed the blade against his own chest. A choked sob escaped his lips as his eyes fluttered open. _

_ “Father no!”  _

_ It was already too late, and Wilbur felt the way his father’s hands disappeared from under his own. The blade was gone and buried inside of his father’s chest and his face twisted itself under the pain. Blood was painting his shirt and Wilbur could not hear anything but his own heavy breathing.  _

_ His father’s eyes stared into his own before slumping backwards onto the floor, his hands letting go of the knife and falling down next to his sides. The child covered his mouth and shook his head, throwing up besides him as the view filled up inside of his head and blurred his vision. His parents were dead and he fell to the ground besides them, feeling alone and abandoned wanting to curl up by their sides. Instead he sat in the corner, hugging himself and looking away from the scene.  _

_ Then there was a knock on his door. _

  * _\- - - -_



  
  


Eret opened up his bedroom door and stepped inside, finding his friend strumming away on his guitar to himself as if everything was okay. He had heard from Nikki what had happened and he was not sure if he wanted his friend to be alone in all of this. It had shocked him hearing about their nightly little adventure, but another thing struck him as odd while listening to Tommy’s story. 

There had been a cop finding out about them and chasing them, and Wilbur had yelled at him to run away. After that he had no idea where the cop and Wilbur had gone and half an hour later Wilbur came back home without a single scratch on him. It felt strange to him, and after knowing some slight story about Wilbur finding his childhood friend and disappearing he was getting curious and trying to figure his story out. 

He knew Wilbur really did not want anyone to know, but the strange occurrences were starting to tickle him and begging him to find a solution to it all. He wanted to understand what was going on and why Wilbur seemed to be so depressed and out of his mind lately. A part of him was also scared that it would trigger him to go back to his old behavior and he really could not have that happening. He did not want to find his friend at those scenes anymore. 

Wilbur looked up once his friend entered his room and the strumming against the strings stopped. He smiled softly towards the other brunette who walked in and shut the door behind him as to make sure no one else would see or hear them. He wanted to speak to Wilbur privately for a second and he knew that it would be easier to talk to him as long as no one else listened in. Wilbur did not like to share his secrets or his past, that stuff was obvious and as clear as fresh water. 

The tall male put down his guitar on the stand next to him before looking back up and placing his hands in his lap. He knew why the other was here, he knew that Eret was going to ask questions and that he had probably vaguely figured him out and knew more about Dream. Or at least that he was on his tail to find out. Wilbur was not sure how much longer he could keep hiding this away from him and he shot him a knowing look, nodding slightly before looking down towards his hands. 

Eret sat on the bed, looking at his friend and trying to study him. Was this really a good time? Maybe Wilbur was in a vulnerable state right now judging by how he was behaving. Although he seemed to be feeling a little better since it did not seem like he was strumming the usual songs he did whenever he was upset. This one was softer and more peaceful to listen to. It was a nice song and Eret was sure that he recognized it from somewhere. He looked at the guitar trying to figure it out. 

“Candy.” Wilbur spoke and woke Eret up from his train of thoughts, looking at his friend. “The song is called Candy. It was my favorite song as a child.” He fixed his hair by ruffling it, Eret nodding understanding before taking a deep breath. 

“You’re acting this way because of him, right?” Wilbur closed his eyes and nodded, trying to ignore the panic which was rising inside of his chest. He swallowed the urges. 

“Yes.” He admitted. Everytime someone brought this up with him he had always tried to get away and run, so not doing it made him feel weird. It was almost like he was fighting against instincts regarding the subject and it was disturbing, but he was trying his best for Eret. Maybe even a little for himself. It would feel nice to get it off of his chest but at the same time he did not want it to be out there. It was not safe. 

“Tommy said you got chased by a cop and then you two disappeared.” Eret started and Wilbur looked up towards the roof, trying his best to keep down the panic. He wanted Eret to stop and just never ask again, he did not want to tell but things were getting out of hand. Eret and Nikki were both worried about him and he was being incredibly mean to them. They had done nothing but being there for him and supporting him and he had just turned his back on them. It was only fair. 

“Is he a cop, Wilbur?” 

He was not sure why he was panicking as much as he was, but it was terrible. He wanted to deny it all, feeling terrible about the fact that he was hanging out with their enemy. He felt terrible that his childhood friend, someone he had been choosing over them, was a cop and on the other side of their little war. It was unfair and straight out evil, after everything it must feel like a slap to the face. 

“I’m sorry.” Was all that he could say, choking out the words trying to keep himself calm. He was a horrible person, he was straight out horrible. He regretted even trying to reach out to Dream and he wished that he had never come back here. It was unfair that Dream was over there being a cop and a fucking piece of shit while he was fighting for human rights. He wished that he had not felt like this for the other and that he had just moved on and forgotten all about him. If he could, he would have gone back and burned the pictures and buried his necklace along with it. 

Eret hugged him, embracing him in a hug and rubbing on his back trying to swallow whatever information he had just received. He was not sure on what to think or what to say about it. He did not judge him or blame him, but on the other hand he felt quite left out or less valuable. He could almost imagine what the other was feeling and how betrayed he must have felt seeing his friend on the other side, but it did not help that he was meeting up with a cop behind their backs. 

“I see.” He said quietly as Wilbur leaned against him, not hugging back but not trying to push him away either. He felt bad but at least it was somehow out on the table now. He felt naked and vulnerable about the whole thing and Eret was not saying a word about how he felt regarding it. It was driving Wilbur mental and all he wanted was to know his thoughts. Would he ever get to know his thoughts?   
  
“Eret I am so incredibly sorry. I promise you I had no idea about it.” He tried to explain almost hearing the desperation in his voice. He felt scared though, scared that his friend would get mad or be disappointed. He probably was.

“Wilbur, I know you don’t mean it in that way and that to you he is more than a cop.” Eret let go of the other as to be able to look him in the eyes while speaking. Wilbur bit down on his lip looking back at him trying to keep himself seated in his place. The aura around them had changed and the air felt tense and cold. 

“But I’m not sure if you can keep meeting him. He is a danger if he finds out about us. We do not know what will happen if he gets his hands on us. He is still a cop, it’s his job.” Eret tried to explain and he felt dirty doing it since he did not really know the guy, but the fear of a cop in their house and with them did not feel safe. He could not have his friends getting hurt because of something that he was not even sure about. He had no idea who Wilbur's friend is or what he is like, but he was a cop and that was never good news. 

The cops all follow the same program during their education. They all get to study law and the norms are braided in to their heads as much as possible. Plus, homosexuality is technially a crime and the things going on in South Africa was taking a toll on them here, too. It was spreading like a disease and they had to try and stop it, but the cops had learned that it was a good thing. There would be no light for them if this friend of his came here with his ideologies. 

“He was not always like this, Eret. He used to be good.” Wilbur stood up from the bed and walked over towards his desk, looking at the drawer which contained the picture of him and Dream. To access the drawer you had to use a key which was hidden away underneath a few books laying on top of the desk. He had never shown anyone the inside of the drawer and he was not sure if he could do it now either. But he wanted to show him, he wanted to show him what kind of person Dream had been once they were younger. 

Eret was watching him and he could feel the way his eyes burned into his back, curious about what his friend was up to and why he was hovering his hand over a drawer. They all knew that Wilbur kept his secrets in there and no one was really sure what it was. They had tried to ask him but always refused to answer the question. It would also be impolite to force it open so they had let the subject be. Until now. 

Wilbur fumbled slightly trying to get the key, accidentally pushing the books onto the floor which landed with a loud ‘thud’. He cringed at himself before grabbing the keys, the loud noise waking up unpleasant memories inside of his head as he moved the key closer to the drawer. His hand was shaking and he had a hard time trying to get the key in, but after a few tries he managed to let it sink in. 

“Will, you don’t have to.” Eret got up from the bed and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to stop him knowing that this was something which was incredibly huge for Wilbur. He had never shown anyone this and Eret had been sure that his friend would take it to the grave if he so could. He felt like he was intruding on Wilbur’s life looking inside the drawer even if it was Wilbur who was showing it to him. 

Wilbur glanced over at him, smiling softly but safely before turning the key and unlocking the drawer. It opened with a small ‘klick’ and he felt his heart jump with it. His vision felt weird and his nerves were all awake and alive in him as he stared at it. He would just have to pull and the drawer would be opened with the picture of him and Dream on top of everything else. It would be open for Eret to see. 

He bit his lip and stared down for a while, trying to rethink it once more. It was dangerous in some way. It did not feel safe and he wanted to lock it again and hide the key. That picture was the reason he was who he is today and that picture shows the reason why his life was as dark as it was. The picture of him and a blonde boy would tell his entire story if one looked at it right. He did not like it, not after his fathers words. 

But Eret’s mom was the one who had found him that night. She was the one who had heard the loud noises and gone to investigate finding Wilbur curled up in a corner crying and shaking. She had been the one who had taken him in afterwards and introduced him to Eret who had been more than happy to have a new friend. Eret had always been there and Eret was one of the few who actually knew what had happened to his parents. People knew they were dead, but how and why they had died was something that was not to be spread. 

Wilbur had not told Eret’s mom what his father had said and the reason behind their suicide. He was scared that it would just happen once more or that this time he would be the one ending up dead. He could not stand it and therefore not even the police knew the reason behind his parents suicide. That’s all that anyone knew, a suicide. 

He closed his eyes before opening the drawer and Eret looked straight down into it. 

He saw the small picture which looked quite old but still well kept. You could tell that Wilbur had been holding onto it harshly at times but there were no stains on it, no scratch marks or harm done to the picture. 

In the picture he could see Wilbur as a child, happily looking at the camera with a coat on and a small hat which looked adorable. Besides him was a boy which he did not recognize and his hair looked like it was either blonde or light brown. He was not sure if it was the bad quality of the picture or if the blonde boy actually had freckles, there were at least small spots covering his cheeks. He too was wearing a coat but he did not have a hat. Instead his hair was in a small ponytail at the pack of his head. It looked a little unusual but quite good. 

The blonde too was looking quite happy, almost as if two had never had a problem in their entire life. They looked like they were close to each other, having their arms around the other and looking genuinely happy. It felt strange seeing Wilbur like that since he mostly only looked that happy being and peaceful while playing his guitar for them. It felt like he was invading his privacy, but he was also happy that he could see Wilbur like this.

He guessed that the boy besides him must be his childhood friend and the person he had run out to see lately. He was quite good looking and he was curious if the boy had managed to keep his good looks growing up. He understood a little better why Wilbur wanted to meet him so badly all the time judging by the picture. He wondered what had happened between them to break their tight bond. 

He could not remember seeing the blonde boy, he had no memory of him being around or Wilbur talking about him. He must have left and disappeared before his mother had taken Wilbur in since there were absolutely no traces of him ever being around. Eret had so many questions but he was not sure if it was good trying to ask them now since Wilbur was already looking quite overwhelmed. 

The brunette boy quickly closed the drawer and locked it, holding the key hidden in his hand before turning around to look at his friend who almost looked like he was hurt. He could see the confusion and the questions behind those eyes and Wilbur understood that it was probably weird and barely gave him anything. But to Wilbur it was big and never before had he felt so exposed to another person. He was not sure if he was regretting showing him or not, but for now he felt numb enough to not care. He hid the key in his bookshelf. 

“He was more than my best friend, Eret. So much more.” 

Eret could only nod as he looked at his friend, the tears hiding in his eyes while being unshed. Wilbur felt lost and confused and the events that had been occurring lately were playing in his head over and over and awakening memories he did not want to remember. He did not want to revisit those parts of his brain and he wished he could just remove them. But he couldn’t and it was incredibly painful. 

“Wilbur!”   
  
Nikki’s distressed voice filled the room as she quickly opened the door, looking at the two boys who were standing by the desk. They quickly looked up and turned towards the girl who was looking quite pale in the face, almost as if she had seen a ghost. Her voice was slightly hushed almost as if someone was listening or close by which alarmed them. They nodded to her. 

“Wilbur you need to come over here.” She whispered and Eret looked over at Wilbur who tensed up, feeling how his body turned cold and how his brain started ticking trying to figure out what had happened. He had his guesses, but for the moment he was scared of what might be happening. He just hoped that no one was hurt or that his friends were safe. Maybe they had finally decided to take him in and silence him. 

Wilbur quickly moved and walked out of his room, leaving Eret behind him as he walked out of the hall and down to get towards the door which was half open. He could see the outline of someone standing there but he could not exactly tell who it was. All he could see was an arm hanging by the person's side and Wilbur felt the way his stomach twisted and the nausea took over him. He felt cold, was it him or was it the air?   
  


Nikki walked just behind him, making him even more nervous since she seemed to be very distressed. Over what he was not sure and he could only guess that it was someone who meant trouble. Maybe they had sent down an extra force and were now taking him away since they knew he was a part of the demonstration. Maybe Dream had also told on him and they were now here to finally catch him and bring him to prison. He would not be surprised if that was the case. 

Once he arrived at the door he took a deep breath and tried to collect himself. It was just a person and he could probably wiggle himself out of it pretty easily. At least he could rule out that it was his parents coming back to fuck with him. There were barely any people left he cared about which would try and hurt him. Maybe Eret’s mom if she managed to get herself out of the house and out there. She was after all getting quite old. He put his hand on the door and swung it open. 

Seeing him in normal clothes would always strike him as odd and way too personal. But he also looked incredibly attractive as the button up hung over his chest and his pants hugging his hips with a belt keeping them up. His hair was brushed but a little messy, he looked like he had just gotten off his shift and Wilbur was not sure on what he was supposed to think or feel seeing him by the door. 

Of course Nikki would look scared, she had been in the middle of it all when Dream had first introduced himself into his world once again. She knew who he was and seeing him by their door asking specifically for Wilbur would make it look like something incredibly terrible. She was not aware of their history with each other and therefore he was nothing more than the higher up officer who had taken him in for questioning. He swallowed, knowing that she was behind him and watching. She was listening and he hoped that Dream knew it as well. 

“Well, what brings you here?” Wilbur asked, hating the way he spoke to him. He wanted to hiss at him, ask him a couple of more questions or try to get him out of there. Had he turned into some sort of stalker finding out where he lived? He either must have asked around or read it in his file back at the office. 

His file. 

Wilbur looked at the other with wide eyes understanding what the other could have done to find him. Dream had no idea about the things he had gone through or what had happened in his life after he had disappeared and he was not sure how he felt knowing that Dream just might have read all about it behind his back without his permission. Could he even do that? Was it against the law? Knowing the cops, it probably was not. 

Dream almost looked guilty of it all, but he kept his stone cold and numb expression just like the first time they had met. It got on his nerves and he wanted to beat that expression away from him. He did not feel like a real person as he wore it which just made the whole situation feel even more fucked up. Nikki was still watching. 

“I hoped that we could talk, would you invite me in?” This son of a bitch-

“Of course. Nikki, would you put on the tea?” He turned around to look at the girl who only nodded before running away towards the kitchen to prepare a drink for the two. Wilbur was so going to kill him for doing this. Dream was really playing him and pulling the strings knowing there was nothing he could do to stop him. At least he had not shown up in his uniform. That would on the other hand probably have been illegal if he did this and wrote it off as work. It would be abuse of power. 

He moved out of the way to let the other person in, sending him a glare which only got met by a fake smile. Wilbur was not sure if Tommy and Tubbo were at home or if they were out doing their own thing. School had ended an hour or so ago for them but they liked to stay or hang out with their friends afterwards. He really hoped that they would stay out for a while more, not wanting them to meet Dream just yet. Especially not like this. Dream could be a danger against them and he was not going to let the two boys get involved in his own mess. It would not be fair to them. 

Dream walked inside the house, taking in the buildings and probably memorizing the way it was structured. Dream had always been smart and always tried to remember things just in case something happened. In school he always knew where to run if he got into trouble and Wilbur had been fascinated by it as a child. Now he just wanted to hit him for it and force him out again. 

He led Dream away from their common area and into his room, not wanting the others to see or hear too much from the blonde. He wanted to make this as private as he possibly could. Dream on the other hand seemed to be completely fine since he had just waltzed towards his house as if it was nothing. He had something in mind and Wilbur was not sure on what it was, but it could not be good. That much he knew. 

Once they were inside his room he closed the door, hoping that Nikki would knock before coming in with their tea. If he estimated the time right, they had about five minutes before the tea was ready. It was enough time to get the basic information out of him, right? It had to be. 

“What the hell, Dream?” He hissed out as he looked at the officer, feeling angry and scared about having him in here. It was definitely an abuse of power in some way if he managed to pull the strings right, but Dream was always one step ahead and probably had it all figured out. There was no way in hell he could get through him. Plus, who would people believe? The guy leading a demonstration for things they believed to be wrong or a higher up officer? 

“I didn’t know how else to get to you.” Dream said nonchalantly while looking around his room, reading it and trying to come to a conclusion about who Wilbur had grown into. It was somewhat of what he had expected with the many books lining his shelves and small random objects. He had always been a collector, the blonde was not surprised. 

His eyes however, landed on the guitar the other had just been playing on before Eret had come in. Eret who now must have left. Wilbur was not sure where he had gone but he was happy that he had left. Trying to explain why Dream was in their house would not be fun to do. 

“Do you still play?” Dream asked and nodded towards the instrument.

Wilbur had tried learning the guitar when they were kids and he had been quite bad at it. But he had always insisted on playing for his friend even if it sounded bad. Now, he was actually pretty good. His friends would often ask him to play for them and they seemed to be enjoying the songs he made in his freetime. It made him happy and he felt appreciated for it, especially since he had no longer been able to play it for Dream anymore. 

He had made his own songs over the years too and he was one of the best players in town. If he had been like the others and not leading a god damn demonstration, they would have asked him to play in bars or in the theater. They had shown interest in him until they found out about what he did besides playing which led them to return back and pull away. 

“Yeah, I do. Are you surprised?” Dream’s fingers brushed themselves against the silky wood, feeling it and smiling softly as he chuckled before looking back up at Wilbur who looked like a real life question mark. 

“No, I’m actually not. I suspected as much.” He moved away from the guitar and Wilbur watched his every move, feeling on edge having his old friend in his room with him. It felt strange and unreal. How many times had he imagined this? Dream by his side in his room once again. However, in those fantasies Dream had been a good guy who had felt the same way about him all the years they had been apart. 

It was sad how reality had turned on him. Dream was not like the Dream he remembered and imagined getting back. That Dream would have asked him to play and he would have listened before pulling him into a hug. This Dream only asked questions because he wanted something or because he wanted to fuck with his head. Whatever it was he was doing, it was making the brunette feel nervous and on edge. How could Dream be acting so calm right now?

“Why are you here?” He asked, his voice demanding an answer to his question as he looked at his old friend. Dream only looked back and sat down on his bed, his fingers feeling the texture of his covers. Wilbur sighed, trying to keep himself away from the other so that he would not accidentally hit him straight in the face. 

“I had to talk to you about a couple of things. To end this once and for all.” 

Wilbur was not sure why that sentence had hurt as much as it did, but it felt like a knife to the chest. He did not want things to just end. He did not want Dream to leave but at the same time he did not want to have him around himself. He wanted his Dream back and for some reason it felt like he was in there somewhere, but buried deep. What would it take to dig him back up? 

“And what would that be?” Wilbur stood in front of the drawer, leaning against it and crossing his arms as he looked over at the other who seemed to almost be  _ enjoying _ what he was doing. Was he honestly that fucked up that he liked to mess with him? Or was this all a play, a trick to fuck him over and maybe even make him say things he was not supposed to say. Wilbur was not sure so he decided to stay on guard. 

There was a knock on the door and a very stressed Nikki came in, two cups of tea in her hands as she walked in and placed them on the desk besides Wilbur. She excused herself and sent a worried glance at Wilbur who only nodded, trying to reassure her that he had things under control. It was a lie, but he had to make her feel better somehow. She put on a smile before turning to walk out again. 

Wilbur looked away from her and back to the blonde who was sitting on his bed. When she had left the room and closed the door behind her he moved over to his old friend, closing the distance between them. 

“You better fucking talk.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0-0 oop things are turning-
> 
> I hope you all have a good day/night wherever you may be! remember to take care of yourself. 
> 
> Love you all, Celine.


	10. This is Your Kingdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur and Dream have a talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> This chapter is quite shorter than the others, and to be honest i despise it but its the best i have... I have three pretty big tests this week and another assignment so i am *Stressed* lmao sorry-
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all have a good day and you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> This feels so dry I am so incredibly sorry
> 
> //Editing Lex here. uh,, as to not crash, i probably wont upload until next weekend- im really sorry about it ;-; Please take care of each other and i hope i dont let you down too much....

It was a strange thing that your brain did when you had been thinking and imagining something for too long that when you finally had it in front of you, suddenly it did no longer feel like it was real or possible. It lost meaning and it felt more like a dream than an actual thing. Seeing him sitting there in front of him did not feel real and he was pretty sure that if he stretched his arm out it would go straight through him or he would wake up. Because the only place Dream existed was inside of his head and in his heart, it was not possible that he was sitting there right in front of him. 

It felt surreal and strange to see him there and his whole body wanted to run and touch him, make sure that he was real and that he was really here. It did not feel true, it really did not feel like it could be true but it had to be. He had hugged him and they had met earlier, so Wilbur was sure that it was Dream. But it still felt weird. 

He looked down onto his own hands, trying to understand how his world had changed so quickly. All those years of waiting and hoping had led him here. All that waiting and the what if’s had made him stand where he does today. Reality was not like his imagination, but it was still that, reality. Dream was not who he hoped he would be but he was still him. He was still Dream even if he was changed. Deep down maybe he still exists. 

Wilbur looked up again to meet the green eyes. Those green eyes which he had found so much comfort in as a child still managed to make him feel something. It was sick and he knew it, even Eret had been a bit wary about this whole thing but for some reason he found his heart skipping a beat whenever he looked into them. Maybe it was hope or maybe it was the memories of what once were. Wilbur was not sure and he would get a headache if he tried to figure it out. 

Dream looked calm but stressed at the same time. Maybe it was his aura or maybe it was the way that his eyes stayed in the same place. When they were younger and he felt hurt or stressed he would often end up staring at just one spot alone and he seemed to be doing that right now. Or who knows, maybe Wilbur looked stupid and the other was silently laughing inside of his head at him. Wilbur would not be surprised if that was the case. 

He was not sure what he was feeling when he looked at him, but there was something inside of him turning. The sight of Dream being in his room was amazing but scary, he had lost count of how many times he had prayed that the other would appear by his side there again. Now he was here, but he did not feel like the way he had felt in those thoughts. In those thoughts he had cried and thrown himself at the other who laughed and embraced him. 

The only embrace he felt right now from the other was the cold and empty stare which dug into him. It was painful and he wanted nothing else than Dream to look away or soften the stare. He wanted the warm and nice Dream back who looked at him with nothing else but love and admiration. He wished they could go back to that but those times seemed to be far behind them.

Dream was sitting on his bed and did not look like he was planning on moving. Wilbur stood by his desk protecting the drawer from the blonde’s sight. The key was just besides Dream since he had only placed it in the bookshelf to hide for later when no one was looking and he was starting to regret it. If Dream got curious and grabbed the key and pushed him aside, he would know everything that he had tried to keep a secret. He would see their picture and he would see the small gifts he had received from him. It would be embarrassing and awkward, he wanted to avoid it at all costs. 

Wilbur felt oddly alive, almost as if he was suddenly aware of how he was breathing and the way the blood flooded through his veins. He could feel the air against his skin and all of his nerves were tingling inside of his body. He felt so alive but still not real. It was such a strange feeling that he had a hard time understanding it, but he did know however, that it must have something to do with Dream. Lately, everything has been because of Dream and his existence. On the other hand, hadn’t it always? 

“I said talk.” Wilbur muttered and tried to sound like he was not getting affected by the other’s presence. He tried to keep himself calm and collected, throw in a little hint of annoyance in his words as well while talking. He could not have Dream figuring him out, that would be the death of him. 

Dream took a deep breath and hung his head down for a second, almost as if he was thinking this whole thing through. It was stupid and they were both aware of it. This whole thing was so stupid judging by the way they were waltzing around each other. Their past was haunting them both and it felt like two worlds had suddenly met and were now fighting over who would get to be in charge and take over. They had lived such different lives for so long, was trying to fix it even possible?    
  
Was it possible to after all this time be on good terms again? They were in some sort of war with each other already, Dream being the cop and Wilbur being the criminal from the people’s view. Wilbur wanted change and freedom and Dream wanted power. They had become such different people from each other and it was hurting him a lot. All he wanted was to be with Dream, go back to when they were kids and run around in the woods just once more. But those simple times were over and now they were here. 

“I saw your file.”

Wilbur felt his whole body tense up, the muscles pulling all at once in a painful manner. His brain went blank with fear as he stared at the blonde male in front of him. There were a lot of things in that file which he wished Dream could just, never find out about. 

There were a lot of things he regretted and a lot of personal information he wished to be kept a secret from everyone. Only Eret and Nikki knew about his past and he had fought so hard to keep it that way. No one else was invited into his past and he had put up walls so high that barely he could get over them. It was just, which side of the wall was he stuck behind? Those walls which had protected him for so long were suddenly getting cracked and teared down. 

Not even Tommy knew. Tommy who he had tried to help raise from when he was a kid out in the woods only wanting to seek shelter. Tommy who looked up to him like a brother and had always been by his side in everything and anything since he had come into his life. He was such an amazing person and had asked him multiple times about why he was so secretive about his past and the things he had done. Not once had he gotten an answer, even Nikki and Eret had kept their mouths shut. 

He had not been stable for several years growing up. The trauma haunting him and leaving him feeling like a burden for the world. He had felt so disgusting and horrible that he had taken his anger out on everything around him. The fights had been bloody, the fires had roared over the skies as if they owned them. He had been such a small kid with so much pain and pent up anger. But not once had they managed to put a sentence on him which lasted more than a couple of months judging by his age. It was quite fucked up when he thought about it. 

Even more fucked up was it that Dream had read it. He should not have been digging in there, it was unfair and it should probably not be allowed since Wilbur was pretty sure it was not to investigate further about the demonstration. It had most likely been because he was curious or wanted to prove a point, maybe throw it in his face that hey! You were pretty fucked up back then and you still are, the proof is in here. 

Dream was studying his face and his reaction, he could feel it and it was not something that felt pleasant. He wanted to get away from those eyes and the man which were getting closer in ways he did not wish for. He thought that maybe they could have talked things through or done anything about their situation. But instead of growing a pair of balls the blonde had decided to look for his record like a god damn stalker. It was just… sad. 

“For fuck sake, Dream.” He said between his teeth, covering his face with his hands out of desperation and shame filling him up. He hated it, he hated Dream. He had been so stupid to think that they were worth fixing or that maybe Dream would come around. Every day he got proven wrong but still he tried, why? It was obviously not worth it so why was he still trying so hard to do this? It was just stupid and Wilbur hated himself for it all. 

“Wilbur what happened to you?” His voice carried no emotions, almost as if he did not want the brunette to figure out what it was he was thinking. It was almost like he wanted to be seen as the cold emotionless fucker in town with how he spoke and how he acted. It was sad and just incredibly stupid. Wilbur hated him for it, he hated him so much. 

His lungs felt like they were on fire and he was no longer sure on what he was supposed to do about this situation. He was not sure if someone was standing outside his door listening or if they were even at home. He could not just throw Dream out of his house without everyone questioning it or risking to lose Dream forever once again. Not that it would matter losing him, he had lost him once he could do it again.

“That is none of your business, you had nothing to do in those files. Nothing.” Wilbur looked up to face Dream, removing his hands from his face to look at the other who was slightly taken aback but still not shocked over reaction. If he had expected this, then why had he done it? 

Was this goal? Was this why he was here, to try and break him down and cause as much damage as he could before taking off and never looking back again? It would not surprise him if that was the case and at this point he suspected as much. He should probably give up on the other and walk away before it got too late. It would not be pretty to have his heart broken by Dream, last time had worked so incredibly well this time could only get better. 

Dream nodded, almost as if he was admitting that he had stepped out of line and that he understood why the other had not wanted him to look in there. It had almost been like reading the back of a war book which contained all the headlines for the major things happening during the war. It could not have been pretty reading it and if Wilbur remembered correctly, there were pictures of him in there looking like a punching bag from all the fights he had gotten into. That too could not have been fun to see. 

Dream brushed his pants, off of what Wilbur was not sure. Maybe it was a new tell that he was getting uncomfortable or felt bad about something, or maybe he was just such a bitch that he thought it was dirty in there and that he had to brush it off of him. Either way, Wilbur was starting to feel himself getting close to snapping at the other. He was scared and stressed, he did not want to be here. 

He did not want to be angry at Dream like this, it was exhausting and all he wanted was to fall into his arms or dig his face into the crook of his neck. He wanted to be close to him once again and to feel his scent linger around. But instead Dream always managed to do something to fuck it all up and put them back to square one. It was amazing how he did it and it must be a skill at this point. That man really did not know how to be a normal fucking person. 

“That was some very serious stuff in there. It did not sound like you.” Dream stated and Wilbur chuckled at how  _ stupid _ it sounded. What did he know anyways? He had one day just gotten out of bed and left him all alone in town with barely anyone else to help him. He had been defenseless against the cold world around him and the person he trusted the most had just left him all alone. 

It was not fair of him to draw conclusions about what he knew about him and what he didn’t know. Many years had passed and he did not have the right to try and figure him out like this. It was just rude and cruel, wrong in more ways than he could count and Wilbur wanted to do nothing else but to scream in his face about it. But doing that would get them nowhere so he had to keep himself calm about this whole thing and not do something out of line. 

It hurt so much, his whole chest ached as he looked into the face of Dream. He still looked pretty similar as they did when they were kids which amazed him, but the baby fat was long gone and instead he looked pretty serious and handsome. He looked more grown up and larger than he had when they were kids. Dream had always been the stronger between them, but he was built a lot stronger than Wilbur remembered him. He was still the taller one between them, though. 

“What do you know about me anyway?”   
  
“Well I know that you would not hurt anyone.” 

Wilbur’s face softened slightly as he looked at the male, the blonde male who also seemed to grow slightly more open about himself and letting his emotions show on his face. It was not the cold emotionless expression on his face anymore and he did not look as tense. His eyes seemed to be asking so many questions and Wilbur wished that he could answer them and maybe get some answers back, but as things looked right now that was still far away. 

What did Dream know anyways? Maybe he was a full out serial killer with only one goal in his head which was to get the highest kill count there is. He had no idea who he was or what he had grown up to be since he had left him and not even sent a god damn letter. Not a single sign that he was alive had he gotten from the other since he had left and a part of him had actually wondered if Dream had been real judging by how he had disappeared. What had led him to just go away like that?

Had he asked his parents to do something about it or had he just been planning on moving and deciding to not say a word about it? Were they on the run from something or had they figured out that there was more to Wilbur than they knew? What had his sister thought about the whole thing? There were so many questions and he doubted that he would ever get the answers to half of them. Maybe this was the last day before Dream left again, who knew?

“How? How do you know that, Dream?” Wilbur smiled slightly to himself, trying to ignore the growing pain inside of his chest. It was sick and he knew it, or at least it felt like it was all bullshit and nothing more than a game. Maybe this was something fun Dream had come up with, to go back and mess with his head before leaving again without a trace. 

“Because I know that’s not something that you would do.”   
  
“Knew.” Wilbur corrected him. “And you are wrong, you read the files. You know that I am capable of hurting others.” He felt ashamed of himself for doing it and everyday he regretted his past choices. He never wanted to hurt anyone and he never wanted to cause harm, but he had felt so lost and forgotten by the world that he did anything to feel like he was involved again. He did not want to be the kid who no one knew anything about and that just walked around looking miserable. 

He did not want to be the weak kid wandering around on the streets with nowhere to go and no one to love him. He wanted to prove himself, show that he too was strong and that he was a survivor. There was something inside of him that wanted to fight and to prove himself worthy of a place in society, that he could belong too. He had done it in such a bad way and he was ashamed of it, but judging by where in the world he stood could anyone really blame him? He was trying his best to make up for it. 

Now Dream got off the bed and walked closer to him and Wilbur watched his every step. He felt on edge as the other moved closer and his heart decided that it was time to join a race as it sped up. It almost hurt and Wilbur felt dizzy feeling Dream’s presence closing in on him. Why he was reacting the way he did was something which was above him and for some reason he felt himself liking it. He wanted Dream to come closer but it was also scaring him to death. He was not sure on what to do or where to go. 

Dream was looking at him and in some way making sure that he did not edge the other too much, he did not want him to snap and make him panic. Wilbur opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out as Dream stopped right in front of him and scanned him. 

“I don’t think you just did that because you could, Wilbur. There is a reason behind it, what is your reason?”   
  
Wilbur shook his head and pressed himself closer to the desk to try and increase the distance between them. He felt put on the spot and he wished that Dream had never asked the question in the first place. There was no way of getting out of this, Dream basically had him cornered and he wanted his answers. He knew things that Wilbur wanted no one to know about and now he was demanding to know the full truth. 

He could almost feel the warmth radiating from Dream and he wanted to push him away, he wanted to be able to breathe again without feeling like he had a rock against his chest. He wanted to feel free and Dream was not making that wish come true. There was at least two meters between them but it still felt like the space was not there. He swallowed hard before glancing up at Dream who was still looking at him. 

“There is nothing for you to know, Dream.”   
  
“Your parents.” Dream started and Wilbur’s world turned black. It flashed before his eyes and his stomach turned at their mention. Of course Dream knew that there was something up about it since throughout half of those files it said that he had no guardians by his side. Dream knew that his parents had been loving while growing up and that they were fine and did not have anything which could kill them. Of course he would ask about them.

But even so it did not help the nausea which filled him up. He felt sick and at this point he wanted to just fall to the ground and scream. This was not a subject he wanted to talk about with the other and he could almost feel the questions hanging in the air between them. Dream must have noticed that he had hit something which he shouldn’t since he became quiet for a second. It was almost like he was waiting for Wilbur to get a mental breakdown.

“Will, did you kill them?”   
  
_ You are the cause of this. _

Wilbur covered his mouth as he looked at the other, all the bad memories he had tried to dig away and hide were suddenly coming up to the surface as he looked at his old childhood friend, the one who had been behind everything happening.

If he just hadn’t loved him, his parents would have been alive today. But it was not Dream’s fault that Wilbur had said those things, it had been his own. It was his fault his parents were not here today but he had not been holding the knife. It was his words and his actions which had let his parents die that night out of shame for what they had brought into the world. A son who loved another boy, the biggest sin of them all. 

_ You might as well be holding the knife, Will. _

His father’s words rang inside of his head and he wanted to remove them, to throw them away and to never hear them again. He already knew, he already blamed himself enough for it and he had already felt more pain than he thought was possible about it. He did not want to feel it again and he did not want Dream to be the one hearing about it. It was unfair with how things were going. Dream might as well have looked into his brain to see everything he had been through.

“I didn’t.” He said meekly, leaning against the desk to try and keep himself up and away from falling. He felt weak as he saw himself in that dark room. His little self who was only nine years old watching his father hold a knife to his chest and his mother in bed dead. It was a terrifying sight and it made him want to scream and to hide, to run away as if he had gone crazy and never be seen again. He hated it, he hated it so much.

Dream was quick to run forward and put his arms around the other to help him from falling to the ground, noticing that Wilbur was having some sort of PTSD attack and not being able to think properly. A new sense of worry flooded through him as he stared at his friend who seemed to be in a whole other world, experiencing something which he had buried deep inside of him once again. Dream bit his lip. 

“Wilbur, I believe you.” He whispered and the brunette shook his head, shaking slightly.

_ You are the reason behind this. _

Wilbur covered his ears trying to block out the voice, not being able to do so however since it was inside of his head and not out in the air. Dream could not hear those words which were playing on repeat inside of the brunette’s head and he wished that he knew what to do or how to take this, but he felt lost and confused. 

“Dream.” Wilbur grabbed onto the blonde’s arm, holding on tightly. He wished that he had never told his parents about the way he felt for his friend. He wished that he had worded it differently so they thought that it had been more of a friendship way. Maybe it had been friendship back then, but over the years he had noticed that no one else but him obsessed over old friends like he did. 

Only he kept their picture in a drawer and only he valued him this much. No one else seemed to be doing it and it had struck Wilbur as odd. And then there was his dream, the dream where he had almost kissed the other right there and then. They had been so close and he had felt his warm breath against his skin. He wanted nothing more but to feel those soft lips against his own. But it was dangerous and he hated himself for it.

Those thoughts and feelings were the reason behind his parents death. If he had been normal or like everyone else his parents would be here and alive today. Maybe he and Dream could have had a different life as well. Had anything been different if he had just kept those thoughts and feelings to himself? Wilbur was not sure. 

Dream did nothing else but to hold him up, acting like support to keep his old friend from falling. He did not hug him or touch him more than he had to which hurt in a way, but Wilbur was also thankful that he did not do more than he had to. He leaned onto Dream until the nausea stopped and that he could stand somewhat good again. 

“Wilbur what the hell happened?” He asked quietly and Wilbur looked at him.

He looked straight into those eyes which had been the reason for the things he had said and done. Those eyes had made him feel the things which had led to his parents death and for a second he felt himself blaming Dream for it. For a second it felt like it was Dream’s fault that it had all happened and he felt anger and guilt. 

Wilbur pushed Dream away from him which made Dream look confused and lost. Wilbur could barely look at him as he caught his breath once again. He had so many feelings inside of him and all of his thoughts were running wild, he was not sure which though to listen to and what feeling to act on. He felt so lost and confused and the only person besides him was the person who had caused it all. 

“Nothing, Dream. Please drop it.” He breathed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, trying to fix it back to its normal state. 

“Wilbur, that was a panic attack. You had a panic attack.” Dream stated and Wilbur groaned. It was already obvious what had happened and having Dream repeat it did not make him feel any better. 

He looked around himself, taking in the view of his room and Dream. He wished that he could show him the picture and just not say anything. He wished he could show the picture and Dream would understand everything and then walk out and leave him alone. That would have been quite a good scenario and he wished things could work like that. On the other hand, it did not. 

The tea was standing on a little chair by the door, probably cold at this point. He was not sure how long they had been at each other's throat but it must have been long enough for the tea to turn cold. He did not want any in the first place and Dream had not seemed to be too interested in it either. He just wanted to know the truth and to know what had happened to Wilbur after he had left. He was a fucking asshole. 

“You left me. You left me here all alone. You do not deserve to know.” Dream did not nod but he did not disagree either. He just looked at him as if there was something more to it than Wilbur knew. He did not like the look he was given and he wished he could ask about it more, but maybe now was not the time. 

“I had no choice. Wilbur you gotta understand that I left for a reason.” Dream said quietly and Wilbur only laughed.

“A reason? You just left me here. I almost died because of you and you left me for a fucking ‘reason’” There was some truth behind it, even if he was putting large blame on the other for something he had not even fully done. He could not blame Dream for the things he felt and the reason behind his parents death, but he still felt so forgotten and left out when he had left. 

“Wilbur stop it.” 

“No you stop it!” Dream stood still and watched him, not a single word leaving his mouth as Wilbur stared at him. He was not sure on what to do anymore as he looked at the other. 

There was something heavy hanging between them, and the air felt thin as they looked at each other. There were so many unspoken words between them and there was so much that they had to talk about. So many years had passed by without answers and Wilbur felt those years catching up to him. He looked at Dream but for some reason he saw someone else hiding away the Dream he knew. 

He missed the old Dream, the Dream which stood besides him and held his hand. He did not like the Dream which was in front of him now, but sometimes he thought that he could see the old Dream in there. For a few seconds those eyes felt naked and real as they looked at him, they felt true and real. He could really see Dream in there, the Dream he used to know. 

Those eyes did not hold any anger and they did not show any signs of hiding away. They were not blank and cold, they looked green and alive. It burned into his skin and that feeling filled his chest again but he tried to swallow it away and ignore it as he looked at Dream. He wished he could reach out and bring him close again, but he kept himself in line as he looked at him. 

“You hurt me.” Was the only thing he whispered before Dream looked away. He was not sure why the blonde looked away but he did turn his head away so as to not look into his eyes anymore. It felt odd and it hurt since he was not sure why he had to look away. Maybe there was something he was not telling and maybe he carried on something too. But if that was the case, why had he never said anything? Why had he kept it a secret for so long and why had he never opened his mouth about it?

“Wilbur if I had stayed things would have been worse.”   
  
“So you don’t regret leaving?” 

Dream was quiet for a while as he looked out the window, on what he was looking at Wilbur was not sure but it felt like Dream was starting to lose himself in thought or growing quite tired from their fighting. It was exhausting to be mad at him and Wilbur wished that they could just drop everything and never look back at it again. He wanted to forget and move on and just be okay again. But that would never happen.

It hurt so bad, and the silence was just a yes which did not get out. Why Dream was not able to actually say it was beyond him and he guessed that there was some stupid reason behind it, but for now he just wanted to curl up and die. 

He had always wanted to meet him again, he had longed for the day so badly and he had missed him more than he thought was possible. He had never really moved on and now he was paying the price for it. Dream had never missed him, he had no reason to. He had left and he had not looked back until he was called in for duty and basically forced out here. It was so stupid.

“Dream I think it is best for you to leave.” His heart was broken and crushed. It might as well have been stomped on. How many times has this happened now since Dream came around? He had lost count. Dream only meant trouble and he was getting tired of it, he was not sure how long he could keep this whole thing up. 

“No, Wilbur. Listen.” Dream turned to him again and stepped closer, although he was careful to not make them accidentally touch. The distance between them felt way bigger than it was and for some reason Wilbur found himself feeling quite grateful for it. The further away Dream stood from him the better. He did not want to be around him. 

“If I had stayed, I would have lost myself here. I would have become something I wish to not be.” He mumbled quietly and Wilbur tilted his head while listening to him, curious about what he was talking about or what he meant. It felt like he was trying to move himself around something that he probably should be clear about and he was not sure on what to think. What was it that had been so bad when they were kids?   
  
He could not think of anything they had really done. They did not get into some really bad trouble and they mostly lived in their own world while still trying to not lose themselves in it. They were not bad kids, they were actually quite good if you asked him. So there would be no reason for Dream falling into a bad pit since it was mostly them hanging out with each other doing what normal kids did. 

“How, how could you have lost yourself?” Dream looked down again but his body seemed to tense up and Wilbur even spotted Dream twitching. It was just a slight one in his hand, but he still noticed it. Wilbur decided to keep a close eye on him from now on. 

“You.” Was all he said before fiddling with the sleeves on his shirt, fixing them up. Wilbur only stared at him, not sure on what it meant or what he was supposed to think. What did that even mean? It meant absolutely nothing and made no sense whatsoever. 

“What is that even supposed to mean?” Dream looked up and gave him a sad smile before glancing at the door. 

“I can find the way out on my own.” His voice hung heavy in the air as he walked towards the door, opening it and making his way out of his room. Wilbur was left standing alone in his room to stare at the blonde man leaving, feeling lost and confused about what had just happened. 

Dream had just straight out left, he really turned on his heel and walked out of there as if nothing had happened. Was this a goodbye? Was he leaving forever now? Would this truly be their last conversation with each other? Wilbur was not sure, since he had no idea about when Dream would have to leave again but it did feel like a goodbye in a way. 

Nothing had truly happened that needed higher up help anymore, the only thing that had happened was Wilbur’s and Tommy’s nightly painting job which had gone incredibly well. If nothing was happening and the problem was resolved for now that meant that they had to send Dream back which would later lead to the fact that he would most likely never talk to Dream again. 

He heard the way the front door closed which indicated that Dream had left. He had really left him without saying goodbye and the panic was setting into him once again. He could not have Dream leaving again, sure he had broken his heart multiple times and they had done nothing else but fighting but he really could not lose the blonde male once again. He had just gotten him back, he could not just let him go like this. 

Wilbur rushed out of his room and looked around, trying to find any of his friends who might be lingering in the house. Most of them seemed to have left or gone out, maybe to give them privacy or maybe because they had things to do. But Wilbur needed them really badly right now and so he started running around the house trying to find them.

His hair was bouncing around on top of his head and falling into his face, but he could not bring himself to care too much about it as he walked over towards the stairs and made his way upstairs. His eyes were looking around and scanning the area for any living and breathing creature which might be inside of the walls. 

He almost broke down the wall into Eret’s room, opening the door with force and finding the other male lying on his bed together with a book. If it had been any other timing he would have asked him about the book and who the author was, but for now it was not the time and so he only stood there and stared at him for a few seconds.

Eret quickly sat up at the notice of his friend, putting down his book and looking at Wilbur who seemed to be a complete mess. He was breathing heavily and he looked like he was sweating from running around and being too stressed out about his previous conversation. It was worrying to look at him and Eret waited for him to start talking. 

“We gotta do another demonstration tomorrow. Anything, anything that’s big enough.” He spoke clear as day and Eret narrowed his eyes while looking at him, confused as to why he was suddenly suggesting it out of the blue right after having a pretty heated conversation with a cop two seconds earlier. 

“Wilbur what do you mean?”   
  
“Now, Eret. We gotta prepare now. Before it’s too late.”

Eret shook his head as he got out of his bed and walked over to his distressed friend, trying to ground him or get him back to his normal state. But Wilbur was not calming down as he looked at his friend, breathing heavily and almost feeling scared about losing Dream a second time. If he lost him now it would truly be the end. 

Why he felt like he really could not lose him was confusing, but the feeling was there anyways and he wanted to trust his gut. He had never gotten so close to Dream before regarding this and if he had just a little more time maybe he could resolve it and maybe they could be fixed. Maybe things would be alright if they just had a little more time together. 

He wanted Dream back, his whole body and mind was almost screaming for it at this point. The hug was haunting him and making him feel touch starved in a way, but no one but Dream could make him feel better again. He needed the blonde boy back and he would try his best. Maybe if he had just a few days more than he could resolve everything.

Doing the demonstration now instead of later would hopefully buy him a day or two more. If he could just make him stay a little longer things would probably be alright. Or at least that’s what he hoped and for the time being he had no better idea than this. It was the best he could do and he really hoped that it would work and that everyone would be up for it. He did not even want to imagine what would happen if they rejected this. It had to work... 

“Wilbur what’s going on? What happened?” Wilbur only shook his head. 

“I can’t explain, Eret. Just please. We have to do it and we have to do it now.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fanfic is getting so long im sorry,,,


	11. Welcome Addiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur goes to a bar, but things go quite badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Im sorry for the wait, but I am somewhat back!  
> Not gonna lie, i had quite the breakdown over this fic and I was close to delete it twice because I felt asahmed over the mistakes. A classmate of mine also felt this and now I can barely bring up about writing without getting "But you make grammar mistakes" Shoved down my throat. I am so incredibly sorry for those mistakes- I really hope its readable anyways. 
> 
> Oh, and uh... because of the virus which we all love dearly school will move over to be online. I never had online and I am quite nervous and worried about it all huhuhu
> 
> How have you all been doing? I've missed you! ;3 Also the playlist I made has over 400 hits which is insane- I have no idea how that happened but thank you all so much! I hope you can understand where the songs fit in in this story!
> 
> Thank you all for being patient with me! enjoy this chapter.

The picture felt like it was burning into his hand as he held it, the paper cutting into his skin hard enough to cause him slight pain but not hard enough to draw blood. He could not feel any of the pain however as he looked at his old self standing next to the boy with the lighter hair, smiling and looking genuinely happy to just exist and to be there. They were standing so close together without them looking like they were awkward or that they had gone through tough times, they looked like they were some sort of brothers. Nothing could tear them apart, that’s how things were. 

His own shirt had been slightly too big on him and he was drowning in the fabric which made him look younger, but he also felt himself smiling with how it did not seem to bother him and how he was too focused on the boy besides him. 

Dream had his arm wrapped around his shoulders, looking quite proud and happy with himself as Wilbur looked a little confused but still wore a happy smile on his face. They were standing by the old oak which they had met by just a couple of days ago and it sparked a tiny bit of pain inside his chest. The old picture which only showed the shades of the colors hiding in the photos felt like they blended him, making his face scrunch up as he stared at it. If he tried hard enough, he was sure he could remember the exact color that hid within

He hated the way Dream’s arm hung over him trying to make himself look like he was the taller one and he hated that soft little smirk on his face. In the picture they were simply two boys who felt like they ruled the world and that nothing could hurt them and they were on top and the kings. They had been so naive and so blind to the world and it stung trying to think of it but even so, he continued to look at it. 

Back then he would not have known that they would grow up to become like this. He had not known that he would try to start a revolution and Dream would try to stop him. Not even once had that thought crossed his mind for the 25 years that he had known Dream. Never in a lifetime would he have believed that this would happen and that this would be the outcome of their friendship. But nobody knows what the world would have looked like if they had never been friends. 

Maybe he would continue on living with ‘normal’ people and see himself as a normal straight guy who strummed away on his guitar while talking to the people in town. Maybe he would never have his crush on the light haired boy and he would instead marry some young lady around the neighborhood. Maybe he would have kids and an actual job somewhere and live a normal and boring life with no concerns for other people. Maybe he too would have grown up and learned to become a homophobic asshole. Dream had done it, maybe it was a miracle that he had not. 

He sighed and once again traced his thumb over the paper, letting his fingers caress the smooth surface which had started to smell like the rest of his drawer. It did not smell bad, but it did smell like old wood mixed with metal. 

Back then everything had been so simple and a part of him wished that he could just rewind time and maybe go back to then. Back to when Dream was his best friend and the one person he trusted with his own life. Nothing had been able to tear them apart and he had been so happy and so free unlike now, he felt trapped in himself and this world which he lived in. Maybe one day he would get free and break the ropes keeping him hostage, but he was slowly getting older and had to get a grip of his own life and himself and find a purpose in this society. He could not be screaming on the streets for the rest of his life. 

If things had been different, maybe he would have been able to live with Dream and own a house with him somewhere. It would be nice to live close to the woods since it had always been their holy place but judging by his work, they would not be able to. Dream would probably need to live in the city or at least close to the office to get to work properly, but maybe if he bargained they could live at least close to the woods. 

Maybe they could have a cat together since Dream had always been so fond of them, he would always stop and pet the by passing cats on the street whenever he got the chance and it was quite adorable. Not a single cat would get away if they showed themselves for the shorter boy, they would always get at least one small pet. So a cat would definitely be a yes since getting over his love for cats was not something Dream would do. Hopefully. 

Wilbur would also really want a garden or somewhere he could sit and strum on his guitar in peace. Maybe they could grow some sort of tree in their backyard which could grow fruits and be a nice place to rest. They would be able to have picnics in their own garden and it could work as a safe zone for them both where it was just peaceful and quiet. Wilbur would give anything to just see the other in white shirts sit by that tree reading a book with a smile and a relaxed expression on his face. It would truly have been something. 

As a kid he had often imagined what it would be like to live with the other. What they would eat, what their house would look like and where it would be. Wilbur really wanted to decorate it and run around town to get the right curtains and the right carpets. Dream would probably not have too much say in the matter when it came to stuff like that and he would just have to accept it. Their house would have been lovely. 

Wilbur was a dreamer, that much everyone already knew. But even he knew that it was stupid to think that far and to imagine scenarios which would never happen. He and Dream were no longer the people they used to be and they had grown apart. Not even in his head would they ever be able to get together and have a house together, it was just not in this world anymore. Dream was gone, but for some reason his whole body was still shaking and screaming to reconnect with him. 

Dream would probably kill him before they even got to find a house to move into, he would probably just get up and leave or roll his eyes at him for being such an idiot. But somehow it also felt like Dream was in some way trying to at least make some things clear or fix the worse between them so it would not be a war between them. He had tried to do something, but Wilbur was not exactly sure what it was. 

Maybe he just wanted to fuck with him, maybe he just wanted to mess with his head and leave him all hurt and confused just like he had when they had been kids. Wilbur was not sure and trying to find out was something that he did not want to get into since Dream was a mystery in itself. It would probably have been best to just leave Dream alone and understand that the thing he had been imagining his whole life was all fake and made up. But he did not want to and he found himself longing for him all the time and only wanting to be around Dream. 

That’s why he was doing this today and that is why he had tried to force his friends out today instead of waiting a few weeks like they had planned to. He had begged them all day trying to make them pull out their stuff and get ready for their plans a little bit earlier- but it did not work like that and now he was sitting alone in his room watching the sun go down knowing that his old friend was going to leave any day now.

Dream had no reason to stay and he would have to go back soon if not today and Wilbur was not sure how much longer he would stick around. If Dream left now there would probably be no next time for them and Dream would once again be gone and out of his life. He would have no more reasons to come back and since he knew that Wilbur was the troublemaker around here he would definitely not come back. 

He would keep his distance and let someone else take over the job and trying to find him would be such a stalker move. He could not get into town and waltz into police stations looking for Dream just because they had history with each other. They did not like each other, he was pretty sure.

Was it possible to love someone while not liking them?    
  
When he thought about it, it sounded pretty stupid and like the question had an obvious no. You could not complete level three without completing level one first, it just didn’t make sense. Loving someone meant liking them- right? He could not dislike Dream and hate him at the same time since that would basically be positive against negative. He had never heard of such a thing before and maybe he had gone crazy about this whole thing. 

But then again, he  _ did _ feel something for him which was not described as hate. Sure, he wanted to hit him in the face so hard every time the other opened his mouth and seeing him in those clothes acting like he was somebody made him so mad that he just wanted to scream at him. But whenever he got close or even looked at him his whole body became alive, everything inside of him turning like a clock. It felt strange and the way he lost his breath thinking about him did not feel like it was safe or even healthy. 

He hated Dream, he really did. He had been nothing but an asshole and had only hurt him the last few times they had met up with each other and no way in hell would he forgive the other for what he had said and done. Not only towards him, but to the people he was supposed to love and care for. He was a selfish bastard and he did not deserve his position, in a way Wilbur wished that Dream had turned out like him or even worse but that would just be unfair. 

But looking at his picture, looking at how he used to be, made him softened. It made him feel more at ease but in a way still more panicked. His head was spinning and his heart ached as his lungs craved the oxygen around him. He felt like he was on top of a mountain as the smell of Dream overtook him, the faint smell he had managed to pick up when he had hugged him which was now haunting his head. It felt too strong and overwhelming and he wanted nothing but to spit back in his face and get back at him for all those years of pain which he had caused him. 

But he also wanted to hug him once more and feel him close, feel his skin press against his own and see those emerald eyes shining. He wanted to feel his breath against him and he wanted to feel Dream’s hands on his body and just be with him. He wanted to be close and it hurt so much that Wilbur no longer knew what he was supposed to do or how he was supposed to control himself around the other. 

Eret had of course said no. There was no way they could have another demonstration today since they had not fully recovered from last time and because they had a lot of issues going on between each other, especially considering Wilbur. They did not have all the things they needed and barely any preparation had been done since most of them actually had a job as well. They could not do it and it was slowly breaking away at Wilbur, knowing that Dream was probably on his way out of town at the moment. 

The other would run as far as he could from the little town by the woods the minute he was allowed to do so. Wilbur could not blame him since this place probably only reeked of trouble for him and he had outgrown it long ago. This was not Dream’s home anymore, this was just the place he had been born in and the place where he had gotten his first friend. No longer would this place be significant to him and no longer would anyone mean something. Not even Wilbur. 

The man shook his head before gently folding the picture and tucking it away in his left chest pocket, making sure that no harm would be done to it. It felt odd to carry it on him, he barely even took it out of his drawer so it felt incredibly risky to have it on him. 

He reached over for the key and locked the drawer with it, hiding it behind a little painting which Nikki had painted for him. The key felt like it was screaming and that it would be easy to find, but Wilbur could not bring himself to care since the biggest danger was out of there for now. The piece of paper was burning against him and he swallowed trying to ignore it. 

He was hurt and mad as he walked out of his room, checking the halls before tucking his shirt into his pants and leaving. No one seemed to be at home which was nice even if there usually was not too much hectic activity in there. He did not really enjoy being home all by himself with no one to talk to, but it was also nice to just be with his thoughts for a while and think things through. Not that this was thought through at all. 

The pain had been overwhelming and he was starting to lose sleep because of it, the thought about never seeing Dream haunting his head and making him question everything that he knew. He wished things were different and a small part of him wished that he had never met the other at all and that he could have been fine without knowing what he had grown up to be. Maybe things would have been easier if he just did not know and kept on believing that Dream was out there doing something similar to what he did. 

But he could not lie to himself and maybe it was good to know the truth. Maybe he could finally move on and never think about the other boy ever again. Maybe he could burn the picture, throw away the necklace and bury all the memories he carried with him. Maybe then he would live in peace once more and he could be himself. 

He made sure to lock the door and hide it underneath a flower pot before getting on the road and walking into the heart of their little town. It should not really be called a town since it was quite small, but it was not small enough to be labeled as a village. He was not sure what it was for society he lived in but it could be quite nice since most of them knew each other or at least had some idea of who everyone was. You could notice if new people had stumbled in on them pretty easily, and Wilbur kinda liked it. 

The gravel and the sand made a few sounds as he stepped on it, kicking larger pebbles with his foot and sending them down the road. The air felt cold and fresh as he breathed it in and looked up to the sky, seeing the sun slowly making its way over the sky to once again hide and give room for the moon. But there were a few hours until then, so he decided to enjoy it while he could. 

The sun was warm against his skin and he felt alive in a way as it hit him. His worries disappeared for just a second and he could focus on the nice touch. It was like someone was caressing his cheek or looking down on him, making sure that he was okay from above. He smiled at the thought, maybe he did have a guardian angel somewhere. Somewhere up there it had to be at least one person who cared about him, right? Maybe his parents had changed their views on things up in heaven and were now proud of him. 

It was probably not like that, and Wilbur was not sure if there even was a heaven, but he liked to believe that his parents were proud over him as they rested. 

No matter what happens, you should never fall into old bad habits. No matter what happens you should always make sure to take care of yourself and not make the same mistakes as you had already made. He had promised Eret to never become like that ever again, he had promised him that he would not get hurt or go out to do something bad again. So he was going to be as careful as he could, but there were no promises anymore. 

He remembered the way Eret had him cornered with tears streaming down his face as he yelled at him, looking at him with eyes which burned and cut through him like nothing else. He was usually so soft and kind and gentle whenever he spoke or acted, but that night it had all been blown away with the wind as worry overtook him which led one thing to another.

All the cuts and bruises littering his body had been on full display in front of Eret and Nikki. Nikki had started to cry as fast as she saw it, not knowing what to do anymore and feeling like she would break. Eret on the other hand broke down in a different way, yelling at him that it was enough and that he had to stop and get over himself and that this was not the way he should be spending his life. He did not have the energy to find him at the office anymore and he feared that he would find his friend in the hospital once more. 

It had only happened twice and the first time had not even been that bad, but still Eret feared it like nothing else. He had barely talked to him for a week the day after he had gotten home from the hospital with a broken finger and a large cut straight over his chest. It had not been that deep, but it had still worried some of the doctors who feared that it would get infected or make him bleed out. His finger would heal in due time, but the wound on his chest was frightening to look at. 

It had been just another bar fight which had gotten out of hand, the guy attacking him by breaking a beer bottle and swinging it at him as if it was a knife. It had been extremely painful and he had been having trouble fighting back since his ring finger on his right hand had been broken. It had been bloody and it had not been pretty to watch. Those were not even the only bruises he left the bar with that night. 

He could not do that to Eret or Nikki again, and if Tommy ever saw him that messed up he would not be able to live with himself. Tommy who looked up to him like a little brother and did everything trying to impress him or follow his lead. He was such a sweet kid even if he did not always like to show it, Wilbur knew. He knew the other so well and he loved him dearly for it. Not in a million years would he break that image for him.

But today was hard and he was no longer sure on what to do. Just one or two drinks would be fine, right? He was not in the same mental state as he was back then and he had grown a lot. Hopefully most of it was gone and forgotten, hidden in the ashes of the past. He would be fine and his friends would not get to know about what had happened. Even if they did smell the liquor on his breath it would not be too bad, getting a drink was not illegal. 

He made sure to go into a bar he usually had not gone into, just in case the bartender or the people would remember him. They probably would not, but it was better to be safe than sorry once he stepped through the doors and into the dark and musty smelling building. 

The walls were covered in weird paintings and banners, emblems littering them with their ugly designs which just screamed of old men trying to be cool or be young once more. The windows were covered and the wood of the building felt like it needed a good wash. The tables and the chairs were however placed neatly along the floor since the heavy crowds had yet to arrive and it felt quite calming in there. Soft music was being played by a guy in the back who seemed to be enjoying the guitar a lot. Wilbur could probably play better than him, if he wanted to. 

He walked up to the bartender and sat down by the desk, ordering a single whiskey before turning to look at the guy in the back once more. His guitar seemed to be pretty new and shiny, which Wilbur was a little jealous of. His guitar back at home had been with him for a couple of years and it was starting to fail him. It had cracks here and there which he had desperately tried to fix up with whatever materials he had at home. On the other hand, there was a little animal drawn by Nikki on it which he valued a lot. 

If he ever got a new guitar, he would let her paint on it once more since she seemed to have found a love for painting recently. She could make amazing artworks and Wilbur felt himself getting awestruck every time she brought out a new piece she had been working on. He wished that she could one day put those paintings on display in front of everyone else so that she could show how good she was at painting. That girl had talent and Wilbur was proud and impressed. 

The drink got placed in front of him and he shot it a quick glance before picking it up, all the memories and the promises flashing in his mind as his fingers wrapped themselves around the glass and brought it up from the table. 

The glas was cold against his lips and the liquid stung as he took a small sip, the taste being slightly sour but also refreshing. The ice kept it cold which he was glad for, even if it was not too hot out. It burned as it went down his throat and he had forgotten how weird he felt after drinking something with heavy amounts of alcohol in it. It always felt like his whole body was just air whenever he drank, but in a way he kinda liked it. 

He was not one to get drunk easily, it took him a few drinks before he started to lose himself in the thing which was alcohol. Some people would claim it to be a sweeter way of getting high, but Wilbur would not agree. Alcohol did not give you the same high as drugs did, drugs made you feel more calm and at ease meanwhile alcohol was usually the one behind most fights or violent acts. It was pretty fucked and in a way he was not sure why he was drinking when he could get high. 

But then he remembered that alcohol was legal and drugs were not, so he stayed to not get on the police too much and keep himself to the liquid. He took another sip and found himself enjoying it slightly more. No longer did it taste so strange and bitter, he got used to it slightly and his expression softened as he continued to sip on it. 

“How long have you been playing?” He asked the man in the corner which looked up at him. He was probably around forty judging by the untamed beard he kept and those tired eyes. Wilbur was sure that if he got a trim and cleaned himself up he would probably look half as old. He himself made sure to keep his face soft and clean to keep the young look, wanting to stay in his youth as much as he could. 

The man smiled at him while getting up, grabbing a hold of his guitar in a way which made Wilbur cringe but not utter a word. The man took a seat besides and put the guitar on the desk and turned to look at him, the bad smell getting off of him and filling Wilbur’s senses. A bath was probably also a need on the list of how to get this man to look a little better. It had to be a real good scrub. 

“Two years, boy. Can you play?” 

Wilbur nodded and reached over to grab the guitar, placing it in his lap and testing the strings before spreading his fingers out over its neck and deciding on a song to play. The guitar felt foreign in his hands and he did prefer his own a bit more even if they were familiar. The strings on his guitar felt nicer to push down on and had a little more strength in them. This guitar would probably also need a quick fix before hitting the stage. 

The tune played out peacefully into the air, filling the room with something soft and careful. It had a sad back to it on the other hand, almost sounding like a long forgotten dream and flower fields which were left in the past. To Wilbur it felt like empty roads with no end and home far behind him. It was not until he started to sing the words which the man changed his expression. 

The man listened to him carefully, watching his fingers dance over the guitar in ease. It was almost as if he had been born with a guitar in his fingers as he strummed away on them, getting into it and slowly becoming one with the song. He even thought he saw the bartender stop cleaning the glasses in the corner of his eye just to listen closer on him playing.

Wilbur loved the attention, but it felt like eyes were burning into him in a way which he did not enjoy. He guessed there was someone in the back who did not want to get interrupted by the song which was being played or maybe he was just in a bad mood. Wilbur could not bring himself to care as he finished up the song.

“Impressive.” The man said besides him and clapped his hands carefully before getting his guitar back. Wilbur smiled and thanked him, a faint blush spreading over his cheeks as he grabbed for his glass once more to finish the whiskey which had been waiting for him. He finished it pretty quickly and requested one more. 

“The girl and the crow.” He said quietly. “I like to write songs in my free time.” He laughed as the other man patted him on the back, smiling at him and nodding. 

“You’ve got quite the talent with that thing! And such a wonderful voice too.” Wilbur sipped on his whiskey, feeling the alcohol slowly making itself known in his body and moving up to his brain where it started to cloud him. 

It had been quite a while since last time he had decided to really get drunk or go out to drink. He mostly sat at home and drank wine since that’s what Eret and Nikki accepted him to do. If they saw him right now he would probably get a beating for it and they would go all parent mode on him. He did not look forward to that but for now he just wanted to sit in the bar and take it easy. 

“Thank you sir, I’m afraid that’s what happens when you spend your life in the back of the bar for too long.”    
  
He burst out in laughter immediately and it was now that Wilbur felt that the man had been drinking quite much. His breath reeked of alcohol and Wilbur found himself wanting to scoot away slightly, but he kept himself in his chair intoxicating himself with his drink. “Once more, just one more time. Maybe I can learn it as well?” Wilbur nodded before grabbing the guitar once again. 

_ I sat the other day, reading the papers _

_ A day just like the one before.  _

_ I wondered about all the dreams I had dreamed,  _

_ the dreams which had withered away.  _

The man besides him was watching intensely, watching his fingers carefully as if he missed one single movement it would be over. Wilbur only kept smiling to himself and tried to focus on the strings so as to not hit the wrong one. It was getting quite hard since they all seemed to be blurring together with each other. He stared intensely on them as he kept going. 

_ Then I saw a picture of a girl, _

_ with a shot-struck crow in her arms.  _

_ She runs her way through the woods, _

_ as fast as she ever had before.  _

He could feel the way the man inched closer to him, closer than Wilbur would have liked him to. He did not like random people invading his personal space but he wrote it off as him just wanting to get a better look at how he played the song on the guitar. Wilbur swallowed quickly before trying to remember the lyrics and not losing track of where he was. 

_ I started to shake with pain and with fear, _

_ my body trembling and cold.  _

_ Realization took over as I looked, _

_ seeing myself running through the woods.  _

A hand slithered around his waist and Wilbur closed his eyes to not let the tears fill his eyes. The bartender did not seem to notice what was going on since he had his back turned on them and it was killing Wilbur slowly. Not even the alcohol helped him to ignore the feeling and he had to stop himself from doing something stupid. Just the last verse, then he could excuse himself. 

  
  


_ My hope is a shot crow, _

_ for I am a running child. _

_ My hopes and prayers which no one hears, _

_ even though I already know it’s too late.  _

As fast as the last words were sung he got out of his chair, holding the guitar in his hand and trying to get away from the man which had grown way too close for his liking. The alcohol was burning in his body and he was trying to think clearly but it was quite hard and the empty glas on the desk was just proving and telling him why. His heart was beating hard inside of his chest as he stared at the man who was obviously getting too handsy with him. 

“No need to play hard to get. I see what those fingers can do, you should put them to real work.” Wilbur wanted to throw up at the thought of it, and for once he questioned everything that he believed in. He understood why the town reacted the way they did when they saw his friends march around and spread their rainbows wherever they went. The only people who openly performed ‘homosexual acts’ did not seem to be the best. 

His friends would never have done something like this, it was only disgusting old men who dared to show these things and they did it in a way which Wilbur did think should be illegal. Rape should not be allowed and it should be punished a lot harsher than it was, but homosexuality should not. This is what would be in the papers, people only wanted negative news and things which strengthened their opinion on things. 

“Sir, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Wilbur mumbled, regret filling him as he questioned why the fuck he had gone here instead of Eriksson’s which he knew was a little bit safer since they tried to keep it as calm as possible. They would never have let this happen in there if they saw it. This bartender was obviously not paying attention to what was happening since it had been calm just a minute or so ago. 

“Oh but boy, I think it is.” Wilbur was not even sure about what had happened before it had. 

The guitar smashed against the man’s head, breaking in half and cracking as it hit its target and the man groaned out in pain before falling onto the ground. The small pieces of wood flew around them and the strings on the guitar complained as it broke, but only one of them actually snapped which hit him straight over the knuckles in a painful manner. 

Wilbur could only hear himself gasp for air as he watched the man fall down onto the floor, groaning and whining on the floor as his guitar was spread around him in pieces. Wilbur let it fall to the ground, not being able to look away from the man who looked pissed beyond belief as their eyes met once more, only this time they were completely blacked out. 

Wilbur could not feel fear as he looked at him. He could only stare at him feeling numb and dirty. He was not sure if he felt bad or not as he looked at him, only rubbing on his knuckles to get the pain to leave him and fade away. He did not feel too much of it and he was sure that this had woken the bartender's attention up since he was not turning to look at them. He too looked like he had just seen a ghost as his eyes switched between them. 

“You fucking son of a bitch.” The man stood up and raised his fist towards Wilbur, but the other male had been in enough fights to learn to actually move out of the way and grab his arm to later twist it around. The man once again cried out in pain and Wilbur stumbled away from him, trying to put some sort of distance between them. 

He knew that if they actually got into a real fight he would lose. He was tipsy and the other man looked like he was heavier and stronger than he was. Sure, Wilbur was tall which was one advantage. But against this guy it would not matter and if he did not think smart about this he would get a pretty good beating. The bartender was quickly hurrying over to try and get help to stop the fight which had broken out in his bar. 

The man groaned before looking at him once again, this time walking over to him with only anger visible in his eyes and there was nothing in them which proved or hinted that he was going to show Wilbur mercy. The male only stood still as he watched him get closer, hearing Eret screaming at him in his head and seeing Tommy’s eyes as they started at him in disbelief. 

He knew he was letting his friends down and he was not sure how he always ended up in this situation. It was almost like he attracted trouble and danger to himself. He just wanted the whole thing to be over and so he stood still, not moving an inch as he watched the man raise his hand once again getting ready to plant a hit on him. Maybe he would get happy once Wilbur was on the floor bleeding like a pig. Or maybe he just wanted to get a few hits in before being satisfied with his visit. 

But no hit ever came and instead Wilbur saw something light brown flash before his eyes as the man in front of him disappeared and got replaced with someone else. 

It felt like a fever Dream as Wilbur stood still and only stared as the man who had harassed him got knocked to the ground once more, this time being handcuffed onto a rope which was hanging as a decoration in the bar. He was laying on the ground looking defeated and pissed as his eyes turned to look at someone else than Wilbur. The brown haired male looked up only to be met by his savior staring straight at him. 

“Will!” He heard his own name getting shouted and he narrowed his eyes as he looked at the other. The adrenaline and the alcohol was rushing in him and Wilbur could only guess that he felt slightly uncomfortable because of the fear which had overtook him so quickly. He really had hit a guy with his guitar, hadn’t he? At least his own guitar was at home and safely tucked away by his bed. He chuckled at that. 

“Fucking christ.” The other mumbled before pulling at his arm and dragging further into the bar and heading towards the bathrooms- away from the man who was writhing on the floor trying to free himself by untying the rope which he was stuck to. It was quite funny to watch and Wilbur smiled to himself, feeling a little proud and happy that he had not gotten beaten up once more. The police would be able to save on their papers now. Although Wilbur was pretty sure they had given up on filling it a long time ago. His file most likely looked like the law book at this point. 

The other man had hands which felt soft as he gripped onto his arm, making sure that he stayed and would not get any stupid ideas of running away. Wilbur had not been thinking about it anyways, he was mesmerized by the other and only smiled as he followed behind him.

Dream led him to one of the faucets, turning it on and grabbing some of the water to wash Wilbur’s face off. He did not really have any stains from tears or such, but it could help a little to wash his face to calm him down and ground him back to reality from the high Dream knew he was on. The other was not as gentle in this area and he was actually pretty rough trying to fix him up. 

Wilbur complained and pouted which made the other shake his head at him. “Will stop it, or I will let that guy on you again.” He warned before turning the water off again, correcting his shirt and making sure that it was tucked back in into his pants and not too wrinkly from the old man touching him. Wilbur was sure that he saw Dream shiver while doing so and he tilted his head to the side as a silent question. 

“Dream, what are you doing? Why are you here?” He mumbled quietly and tried to keep his head clear. It still felt cloudy but he tried his absolute best to stay as himself and focus on the male in front of him. 

He thought Dream was long gone, he thought that he had left early in the morning and that he was never going to see him ever again. He had wanted to try and forget about him and drown his sorrow and his pain in the liquor, but instead it had brought him right back towards the other and at this point he was not sure if it was cursed or if it was something good. He swallowed harshly before rubbing his eyes.

Dream only looked at him for a few seconds and Wilbur was not sure if it was because he looked stupid or because he too had to think about this whole thing for a second. Had Dream been there all along? No way in hell had he gotten here this quickly by getting called in by the bartender. They had only been fighting for a minute if even that, Dream must have been in the back or at least been outside to hear the commotion happening inside of the wooden walls. 

“I’m going back tonight.” He answered shortly and Wilbur nodded at him. Pain overtook his chest and he felt like he was going to cry. Why? He was not sure. Maybe it was because it hurt to hear it from him more than it did to come to the conclusion. It felt more real when Dream said it and Wilbur was not sure how to take it. The alcohol was starting to cool down since he had not been drinking too much, but it still left a claw in him and might have something to do with how his emotions were playing. 

“I guess it’s just luck I was around to save your ass.” He continued which made Wilbur smile.

“I didn’t need saving.”   
  
“After looking through your file and seeing how you handled that, you should not even have been in there in the first place.” 

At that Wilbur sew his lips shut and looked down at his shoes, feeling shame rise in his chest. He had forgotten that Dream had looked through there and that he knew basically everything about him. It sucked quite badly and it was embarrassing, he wished that there had been more rules regarding reading files. Dream had seen him at his worst and he was not sure how he was supposed to take that. 

It was slightly unfair, but he guessed he only had himself to blame since he was the one who had put himself in those situations anyways. He could not be mad at Dream for finding out, he should be mad at himself for doing them in the first place. The brown haired male sighed and hugged on to himself as to try and feel some comfort and Dream shook his head. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. But what the hell do you think you are doing, Will? Why are you doing this?” 

At that Wilbur looked up again. He was not sure how he was supposed to tell the other that he was the reason he had gone out and that he was the reason he liked to get drunk to try and forget about everything. Dream was the one who was causing him pain day in and day out and he was the reason he felt like shit. It was all his fault for making him feel like this. 

Dream was confusing him. Sometimes he was a complete asshole and did nothing but spit in his face and say that he was a disgusting person together with all of his friends. But sometimes he was soft, just like he was now. His voice was of course worried and filled with a little bit of anger, but it was still soft and caring. He was not sure what he was supposed to take from it and all his thoughts were running wild inside of his chest. 

His ears were ringing and something inside of him screamed that this was dangerous and that he should stop right now, that this would only lead to bad things. But he wanted to know who Dream was and why he was doing the things that he did. He wanted to understand what all of this meant and what this dance of theirs were. He wanted to know what was going on and how he could possibly fix it, if it even was possible to fix. 

His throat was dry and hurt slightly as he reached over to cup the others cheek, caressing his skin slightly and enjoying how soft it felt under his touch. Dream flinched slightly while looking at him dead in the eyes, a hundred of emotions flashing before his eyes as the light colored strands fell over his face. His face was tensed up just like the rest of his body while waiting for Wilbur to do something. He was confused and looked conflicted. 

His hand fell from his cheek and leaned down to grab a hold of his wrist. At first Dream took a step back and hid his hand from the other, but Wilbur silently begged him and Dream gave in. He looked scared and confused and did not say a word as Wilbur grabbed a hold of him and lifted his hand to his chest, placing it against his shirt and over the pocket which held all of his secrets. 

Dream raised an eyebrow as Wilbur let go of him. 

“What are you doing?”   
  
“I don’t know.” 

His heart was beating hard and fast and he was no longer sure why. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think and he had no idea if it was Dream or if it was the alcohol. All he knew was that he felt weak as Dream’s fingers dug into his pocket and pulled out the folded picture, glancing down on it before looking up at Wilbur once again. 

“Take it with you, please.” He begged silently and Dream nodded before putting it in his back pocket, hiding it from view and stripping it away from the other male who felt panic rise within him as the picture left his possession. He wanted to cry and to scream to get it back, but it would be better if Dream had it and carried it with him. Maybe he would throw it away or maybe he would actually keep it close just like Wilbur had, even if he doubted it. 

“Wilbur, please.” He said meekly. “What is this all about? Why are you getting yourself hurt?”

Wilbur chuckled before walking closer to Dream, pushing him against the wall which was behind him and keeping their bodies close. Dream looked like he was about to protest but Wilbur shook his head to stop him and to silence him. But the other was not satisfied with just a head shake and he put his hands against the others chest, getting ready to push him away. 

  
“Just one minute.” Wilbur whispered, leaning his face into his hair and hiding his nose in the strands and letting himself drown in the scent which was Dream. The blond never pushed him away and let his arms fall by his side as his old childhood friend nuzzled into him and hid away in him. He was shocked and confused, not sure what to do as he stared into the air while letting Wilbur be close to him. 

“Thank you.” He whispered and tried to keep his tears in. 

Dream slowly but gently wrapped his arms around the other, pulling him closer and making sure that he did not leave him or try to take a step back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That song is real, although its translated but I tried to make it sound somewhat good. The original title is "Flickan och Kråkan"! Its quite a good song if you listen to the correct cover. 
> 
> Anyways goodbye! Take care of yourselves, its really important.
> 
> Thank you also for all the comments! They really make my day so if you can, please feel free to leave one!


	12. Killed with last kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur and Dream have a little talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!   
> Im sorry that this chapter is a little shorter than usual, but it would be just annoying to drag it out even more. I hope you all can enjoy it!
> 
> I had my first online class today and it was,,, something. My class is so chaotic /imagine a class full of queers and nerds/
> 
> Also omgg this weekend i broke into the old institution with my friend, cosplaying Dream and Sapnap. Its an incredibly large area and the usual house we walk into was locked-but we found a way into the main house which even has a sports hall! It was huge and the setting was amazing and I swear it was pretty as all hell. We filmed quite a lot in there and we had to use flashlights half the time because it was super dark.. and super cold.
> 
> Anyways im sorry for ranting lmao! Please make sure to take care of yourself and thank you all so much for the support :)

“Dream.” 

His name came out as a soft whisper as his lips pressed themselves against the blond locks, gently murmuring his name against him while keeping him close to himself. It was a soft hug and it did not feel harsh, but it did feel like it was slightly forced. Dream felt very tense to hug and Wilbur was not sure if it was because of their rocky conversations or because he genuinely was uncomfortable being close to him. Maybe it was a mix of both.

But even so the other did not attempt to push him away and he kept hugging him even if it was just slightly. He was hesitant with holding his arms around the other and he did not rest his head against him or anything similar. It was a small step, but it was definitely a step in Wilbur’s mind since they had not gotten this close before. It felt like he was hugging a stranger but at the same time it felt like he was hugging someone who had always been there. It was a strange thing to feel and he was not sure if he liked it or not, but it was Dream. 

Why he wanted the other so close was nagging at him and haunting him. It was bad, he knew that, but he could not help but to want to hold onto him and just never let go. He only wanted him close and to feel his breath against his skin and hear his voice. He wanted to feel him again- maybe in a different way from when they were kids. It made his stomach turn and knot at itself, guilt filling him up and making him feel slightly sick. He knew it was bad, his whole body reacted badly to it but something inside of him still craved it and fought for it.

Dream was nothing special if you just looked at him quickly. He did not look like prince charming and he was not the best person in the world- but he was still Dream. For Wilbur every imperfection was something he cherished, those green eyes were the ones who had been with him as a kid and made him feel safe. Those hands had been playing with his hair and those lips had spoken his name. Dream was more than a random guy on the street for him. 

He was attractive, yes, but he did not look like he was straight out from a movie and Wilbur liked that in a way. He felt more real and sincere, he felt like he was a real human being with emotions. Sure, the blond really did not enjoy sharing his emotions or his thoughts about things but Wilbur could sometimes read him. The other male still had some of his old tells left which shocked him. But it was also a reassurance that it was Dream, his old friend. 

He did not always feel real, sometimes Wilbur had to question if it truly was the other or if it was some guy who looked extremely like him. It did not feel like it was really possible for Dream to be back since he had turned into a wish and a hope for the brown haired man. But seeing him and feeling him again made it feel like it truly was Dream and it made him happier than he wanted to admit, he never wanted to separate from him. He just wanted to stay in his arms and hope that things would change. 

But they would never change, and in a few hours Dream would be on his way out again and probably never return. It would truly be the end to their story and no matter how many times Wilbur prayed would Dream come back. He would have to live knowing that his fairytale had been nothing but a wish and that reality was a lot darker than he had expected. He knew the truth which was much worse than not knowing. Before he could have made things up and created his own reality- but now he knew who Dream was and it would not work in the same way. 

The other shifted slightly in his arms and looked up to meet the brown eyes, completely freezing up as they looked at each other for a few seconds. The world around them disappeared and neither of them wanted to look away or pull away from their embrace. It was quiet, the only sound heard was from their hearts which were beating hard. Wilbur had to swallow to keep himself calm and collected, Dream’s face only being a few centimetres apart from his. He just had to lean forward slightly…. 

Wilbur’s hand softly made its way into the other's hair, playing with the strands of hair and rolling them between his fingers. They were soft and slightly cold to touch and Dream seemed to be melting at it, just like he had when they were kids. Many times he had tried to make small braids with the blond strands and every time Dream had been humming, satisfied. This was not an exception and the blond’s eyes fluttered slightly. It was a beautiful sight and Wilbur had to keep himself from groaning- wanting so desperately to do something, if anything, more. 

“Where did you go?” 

His words were soft and quiet and Dream leaned into the others hand, letting himself give in for just a second. He closed his eyes and his grip around him tightened, Dream finally not being as hesitant to hug him. Wilbur almost choked and had to keep himself calm in all of the events. Dream was so close, he was so close and all of his thoughts and wishes ran through his head to remind him that he had wanted this for such a long time. How many years had he wanted to do this for? Only god knows and Wilbur was not interested in knowing the information. 

His dreams filled up his head, telling him how good it had felt in his head to do all of those things. How good it had felt to kiss him, to touch him and to feel his skin against his own. How amazing it had been to feel Dream’s breath being heavy against him while pressing himself closer. The images flooded Wilbur’s head and he really hoped that there was still some left over alcohol in his system which he could blame this on. He did not want to believe that he would do this freely.

Dream looked so small. In his officer outfit he looked so big and serious and as if he was someone else. Now he only wore a soft shirt with a pair of pants who looked somewhat normal. They were not fancy suits littered with weapons, pens and notebooks. He looked like a normal person- someone you would see walking down the streets on a sunny day. He looked a lot smaller and more real even if he was strongly built.

Wilbur was not really strong, but he was not weak either. He did look pretty skinny but he was also tall which he could blame it on. Dream would definitely win over him if they ever got into a fight but Wilbur did have his height to some advantage. He looked bigger and slightly more intimidating. Plus in this situation he was quite happy that he was slightly taller than Dream since it meant he could have the other resting his head against his shoulder and embrace him easier. He liked it quite a lot. 

Even if he knew it was not going to last for long, he still enjoyed it while it was happening. He could find some comfort in that he had been able to hold him like this at least once. If he wrote it down when he came home maybe he could remember this for as long as he wanted to. Maybe he could cherish it longer and find comfort in it knowing he had been able to be close to him just once. One time is better than none, even if it was like a tease. He would have to value today, or well, at least what was happening now. 

Dream smiled slightly and shook his head before looking at Wilbur once again, the male above him now having small tears in his eyes while staring at his old friend. How he wished he could let it all out and tell him all of his stories and ask him about everything. How he wished he could put Dream’s hand against his heart and just let their lips meet. He wished there was not a cloud of hate inside the other’s head which stopped this all from happening. 

Because in the end, Dream was just that. Homophobic. No way in hell could he make a move or tell him about his feelings without Dream turning on his heel or seeing him as disgusting. Everything between them would shatter and not a single memory would matter for the other since Wilbur would basically look like a predator in his eyes. Maybe it was wrong to care for him the way Wilbur did, maybe it was wrong to have these feelings which he had for Dream. 

No matter how much he wished and hoped, Dream would never kiss him back. In fact, he would most likely just get a fist in his face and be beaten up just like the rest of them did. He was not sure if Dream would have it in him to hurt Wilbur for real like that, no matter what he thought about him. They had still been best friends when they were kids and they had made promises which suggested more than just friends even if they had just been kids. 

“Will, I have already told you.” He whispered but Wilbur did not want to accept it. 

He shook his head and buried his fingers in the blond strands, gently massaging Dream close to his neck behind his ear. The other seemed to lose his breath for a second when he did but he was quick to hide as he looked into the face of his old friend. His old friend who looked like he was hurt and scared for reasons Dream was not entirely sure. However, he did not ask and just kept looking at him trying to figure it out himself. 

He wanted to beg the other or to look into his mind and just see what it was he was thinking. He wished that he would let him in or trust him with whatever it was he was keeping secret. There was no one to tell them to anyways and Wilbur was sure that he could no longer judge the other after everything they had gone through. They had passed that point a while ago and Dream should be aware of it, so why was he not telling him? Why was he holding back?   
  
Had he done something bad? He had no memory of Dream ever doing something illegal or caused any true problems around their small little town. He had been somewhat of a good kid even if he was energetic and had a hard time concentrating and always wanting things to go his way. But that was just how he was as a person and everyone knew it. He was incredibly stubborn but he was also a very kind and caring person. He would never hurt anyone. Key word being  _ would.  _

Now Wilbur was not so sure anymore. He felt a little unsafe at times while being around the other since he was a part of the police force who caused quite a lot of violence and hurt multiple people for no reason. They were the reason behind a lot of injuries on people who were innocent, being gay or being black was not a crime. Or well, being gay was but it definitely should not. It was inhumane and Wilbur would never understand why. It was such a strange thing, to label someone a criminal for loving someone without causing any harm or it being without consent.

Maybe one day Dream would see his point of view and maybe he would understand. Maybe Wilbur could be the one helping him get the point and change his mind about the whole thing. He doubted it was possible but he hoped. He just wanted Dream back and he wanted Dream to accept who he was and who his friends were. It was probably selfish of him, but he wanted him so badly and all of his screamed for the blond. If things only had been different. 

“You did not tell me the full truth.” Dream’s grip around him loosened and Wilbur felt the panic rise within him as he watched Dream detach himself from the other. He was quick to grab a hold of his arms and pull him back, not wanting it to be any distance between them. He was breathing heavily and Dream was shooting him an angry and confused look.

“I know that’s not all of the truth. Something happened, you did not feel threatened to change. Something happened and I want to know.” He had to bite back a sob which threatened to rock his body. “Dream please, it’s still me. Don’t I mean something to you?”

There had definitely been a change in Dream’s expression now, those soft eyes who had seemed to be relaxed earlier suddenly looked at him with fear. He looked like he was having a battle inside of his head trying to figure out what to do or what to say while looking at his old friend. Something inside of his eyes darkened as if life itself left them and instead there was only a scared and frightened soul behind them. He was scared, and Wilbur did not understand what was happening or what it was he had said to trigger it. 

There was most likely something more to Dream’s story judging by how he was reacting to the things he was saying, the fear just proving that he was hiding something which he did not want to remember or talk about. He was scared and he was reliving something he had not wished for and Wilbur could guess that it had something to do with why or what happened when he had left town to never look back again. 

Wilbur knew since he too had gone through something similar. He too understood what that expression meant or what the other was thinking since he too had been put in something bad and felt just like Dream was looking. The death of his parents had reflected the exact same way on him and Wilbur was not having any doubt that there was more to Dream than he knew. He too seemed to be carrying secrets he was trying to bury deep inside of him to never see the light ever again. Wilbur knew, although he was not sure what it was. He just knew he had some sort of trauma, maybe even PTSD. 

Dream was trying to get away, he could feel the way the other was trying to wiggle himself out of his grip and make a run for it. He had triggered something and Dream wanted to run and escape it. Even though it was most likely wrong, Wilbur held onto the other and tried to bring him back into their previous embrace. It was hard and Dream was fighting against him, trying to turn and twist himself but Wilbur was not going to accept him running away again. 

“Dream!” He tried to bury his fingers in his hair again to calm him down, keeping his other arm around the other to keep him close even if it was hard and Dream was pushing at him. Wilbur was biting down on his lip trying to ground the other and pull every trick he could remember from when they were kids. Closure, quiet and softness had worked when they were kids and he prayed that it would work now as well. 

Whenever Dream had been upset as a child it always helped when Wilbur hugged him and played with his hair. He had always calmed down pretty quickly when Wilbur was around to hold him or to take care of him which other kids had seen as strange, even the teachers had looked twice at them. But the two had not cared and Wilbur was praying that it would work now too. 

Dream dug his fingers into Wilbur’s shirt and clinged onto him as if life itself depended on it, looking down towards the floor to avoid getting eye contact while trembling in his arms. He was shaking and trying to hide it or at least get away from the other, but Wilbur was hugging onto him tightly and trying to embrace him and get him to calm down again. It was strange to see him react so heavily to something, he had not expected it and it was quite terrifying. 

“Wilbur, let go.” His voice was slightly lower when he spoke and rested his cheek against the other, accepting that the other was not going to let go of him any time soon. It was unfair that Wilbur still remembered the small things and he was not sure how he did- but he did know. He himself had tried his hardest to forget it all and put it all behind him and never look back and the same could apparently not be said for Wilbur. The blond did not loosen his grip on the other’s shirt. 

Wilbur gently rubbed him on the back, trying to comfort him in the best way he could as he looked out into the empty bathroom they were standing in. He was not surprised no one had walked in since a mess had just broken out and since most people were at work for the moment. Still he feared that someone would walk in on them and get some strange ideas that they would later try to spread. That would ruin a lot of things mostly for Dream. He did not want to have that happening. 

“Dream, what did they do to you?” He whispered softly and the other only shook his head. 

This time he did not have time to catch the other and bring him back once he pushed away, freeing himself from Wilbur and glaring at him as if the other had suddenly intruded on him. It took the other by surprise as he stared at him, tilting his head slightly to the side as to silently question what it was that had happened or what he had done. He had not meant for him to break into his head and threaten his safety, it had just happened. He knew that something was wrong but he did not know what. 

Dream stood in front of him, grabbing on to his own arm as if he was trying to protect something. He was rubbing on a spot as if there was dirt or something clinging onto him but Wilbur could not see anything. Maybe it was just an itch or it was a stressful movement he had picked up overtime? Wilbur was not sure but it was suspicious. Dream did not stop glaring at him and it was burning into his skin, hurting him in a way.

“Goodbye, Wilbur. For us both, I hope that we never meet each other ever again.” 

The words were cold as a snowstorm and they left Wilbur feeling paralyzed as he looked at the other, his heart almost stopping inside of his chest as he looked at him. Dream finally looked away and Wilbur could feel everything inside of him sinking and disappearing into a dark void. 

Everything he had tried to build up and create for them both were slowly disappearing because of the other once again pulling away. Dream was getting ready to walk away and the brown haired boy was not sure on what to do or what to say. Dream was going to leave him and he did not want to meet him again, he was going to once again disappear from his life and Wilbur almost felt scared at the thought. He did not want to go back to how times were before, he did not want to go back to laying in bed and clutching onto the picture of them. 

The picture in which he had given to Dream.

He thought that maybe the picture would have helped the other to get closer and make him want to come back to how times were before and make him realize that it could be them again. But now Dream was going to take the picture and probably throw it away or laugh at him because of it, think of him as stupid and weird before burning up their memories. Things had not gone as he thought, and that picture was something he had valued so much. Now it was going to get thrown away. 

He wanted to ask for it back, but he knew it wasn’t right to. Dream was not even sure on what it was yet since he had asked him to not look at it yet. It was his own fault and he had no one else to blame but himself for it, but it did not help the pain which was filling him up.

The picture did not even matter anymore, however. Dream hated him and probably would forever hate him for something Wilbur did not know. Before he had wondered who Dream was today and what he was doing and thought about him, now he knew. He knew that Dream was quite the asshole and a police, not exactly who he had thought. It did not matter if he had the picture anymore because now he knew, and getting remembered that his childhood friend hated him was not going to make him feel any better. 

“I do not hope so.” He cut through the air as Dream started to get ready to walk away. He stopped in his steps to look quickly towards his old friend and narrow his eyes on him before chuckling to himself. 

“Wilbur, you have to stop believing in fairytales.”

The male was not sure why, but the line hit him in a way he could not explain. 

It did not sound like something he would say and judging by what had just happened Wilbur could only guess that it had something to do with what his trauma or whatever was all about. Someone had hurt him or said something to him, maybe it was the police force which had decided to try and turn him into the perfect cop? He was not sure but he wanted to try and figure it out, even if his time had run out. Dream would be gone soon and he would be left alone. 

Wilbur took a step forward and Dream stared at him, silently warning him to not get any closer and to keep a distance between them. But Wilbur had learned to not fear him and did not listen, causing the other reach and grab for the door. 

Wilbur slammed his hand onto the door, making sure that Dream was not going to to be able to open it and get out. He wanted to keep the other in there with him and not let him get away as easy as he had let him earlier. He wanted to bring this whole thing to an end and maybe just make sure they were not on bad terms. He wanted anything to happen which put them at plus but no matter what he did it seemed to just put a negative in. It was getting ridiculous and annoying. 

“Wilbur, back off right now.” He threatened as Wilbur shook his head, using his other hand to touch the area which Dream had rubbed on earlier. 

His suspicions were confirmed and Dream froze up with fear almost instantly, his face going pale as he stared at Wilbur looking like a deer in the headlights. He did not move and he barely even breathed as he stared at the brunet who only nodded to himself before pulling his hand away to not make him too uncomfortable or accidentally harass him.

“What is wrong with your arm, Dream? What are you hiding from me?”

The force was pretty big and Wilbur was not sure if he had meant to put that much force in it or not. The hands on his chest pushed him away, far away from him and Wilbur almost fell as he stumbled backwards. Dream kept looking at him, fright being visible in his face as he reached up to touch the area on his arm. He gently let his fingers run over his shirt as he looked at Wilbur who could only look back at him. 

Dream’s mouth was slightly open as the blond hair strands fell over his eyes, hiding the green orbs from view and making him look slightly more distressed. His shirt was slightly ruffled from their ‘fighting’ and he was standing in a pose which almost looked like he was trying to protect himself. He was slightly leaned forward with his legs standing steadily on the ground. His hand was on top of his arm while looking at the taller male and biting down on his lip. 

Wilbur did not look away, not ready to just try and once again let him run off with his secrets. Dream had read all about his life and he was not even telling him one single bit. It was unfair and Wilbur wanted to know, and he was going to get to know. Too many years had passed for him to only be left with more questions and more wishes to get to know about his friends' life and what had happened after he had left. He wanted to know. 

“Wilbur you are on thin fucking ice right now.” He whispered out before letting his hand fall down again, making sure to now look away from Wilbur as to make sure the other male kept standing in his place. He did not want him to get closer again and therefore he was keeping an eye on him, just in case he tried to pull something funny once more. 

Wilbur however was standing straight up and tall, looking down at the other who was cowering up and protecting himself from some sort of danger which did not even exist. He felt like he was the one who had the upper hand for once as he looked at Dream who did not have any power over him. He was not working at the moment and therefore could not really arrest him, Wilbur had not even done anything worth being arrested for. Plus it would be wrong on Dream’s side and they were both aware of it. 

Dream wanted to run, but if he did he knew Wilbur would be right behind him and catch up to him and force it out of him. There was no way he was getting out of there or getting away from Wilbur and he was painfully aware about it. He wished he had gotten away while he could and that he had not reacted the way he did, maybe then Wilbur would not have caught on to him. The fact that he remembered stuff was to his disadvantage.

“Enlighten me, Dream. Show me.” Dream raised an eyebrow at him. 

  
“Are you asking me to strip for you? Because that’s pretty disgusting.”   
  
“Oh for the love of god Dream just fucking show me.”

Dream cringed before taking a deep breath and moving his fingers towards the button of his shirt, slowly undoing one by one while looking anywhere but Wilbur. Wilbur, on the other hand, was having a hard time to breathe. 

He was watching Dream slowly undo his shirt and trying to keep his mind cleared. He had imagined it so many times in his head in another scenario that seeing it in real life made him try to keep his thoughts down. It was wrong to think like that and he mentally cursed himself as he looked at Dream, waiting for the shirt to fall off to reveal whatever it was he was hiding underneath the piece of fabric. He had to know, and maybe he would get to know. 

Once enough of the buttons were undone to reveal his arm he stopped and looked at the other who gave him a nod of encouragement, trying to urge him on to show him. Dream sighed before letting it fall over his shoulders and pull it down to reveal his arm where a white splash of skin was showing itself. 

It looked weird, almost as if something had been placed against him and burned into his skin. He was not sure what it was or what had caused it to be there but it did not look like it had been the nicest thing to endure. It almost looked like a burn mark, as if someone had put a hot piece of metal against his skin a long time ago as a form of torture but he could not recall that happening in situations which Dream could have put himself in. It was strange and it did not make sense in his head. 

Dream’s head was turned away before quickly pulling up his shirt again and hiding it, buttoning his shirt up taking a deep breath before looking up to meet Wilbur’s eyes once more, Wilbur’s eyes which look mortified and full of even more questions. Questions he would never be able to answer. 

“What?” He asked quietly as Dream shook his head, trying to silence him and tell him that he was not going to spill anymore. 

“What did they do to you? Why?” Wilbur’s questions hung heavy in the air which felt tense and awkward. The bruise was burned into his mind and he was desperately trying to place it with what might have caused it or how it got it there. It did not make sense and judging by how much it was getting on the other it could not be a normal bruise. Someone else must have hurt him for some reason, but why would anyone hurt him?   
  
Dream had not had many enemies growing up in this town and no one had wanted to cause him any harm or threatened him as far as he knew to get him run from town. Dream was very likable and a nice dude, wanting to hurt him was like wanting to hurt a puppy. It was just not possible and so it did not exist in Wilbur’s mind that someone would try to cause him harm. There was no way that was an accident, it was too perfectly formed to have been something which was an accident. 

It made him feel sick, though. It made him feel sick to know that someone had caused him harm and never in a million years would he have thought that someone would have tried to cause his old friend harm. Was it a police thing? No, it could not be. It would have been more well known in that case and the police would have shown it off a lot more. Plus it seemed like it had taken a toll on Dream in ways he was not sure how to react to. It almost reminded him of the situation regarding his own parents. Almost. 

Dream looked like he wanted to run which Wilbur understood, but he did not want him to leave. Not just yet. They were getting somewhere even if it was quite personal and quite dark matters they were talking about. Wilbur sighed. 

“Who hurt you? I know we may not be on the best of terms right now but Dream please.” Dream swallowed while looking at him. 

“You still got me, and you always will.” 

For a second the whole room was quiet and they were only staring at each other, time seemingly had stopped. It was them standing alone in a poorly lit room speaking quietly while trying to get on some sort of terms with each other. It was awkward and it felt strange, neither of them liked the situation but they had put themselves there. They had no one else to blame but themselves. 

Dream’s hand rested on top of the door knob, getting ready to pull it down and walk out at any moment. Wilbur was watching him and feeling his heart beat inside of his chest while looking at him, desperately trying to make him stay and not leave. He did not like this tension, he wanted it gone and he wanted to just throw himself at him and bring him into a hug to keep him from walking away. But he could not do that, he had already almost fucked up once and he was not about to do it twice. 

“Wilbur there is so much that you don’t know.” Dream smiled softly.

“If you walk out that door, Dream.” He almost had to fight to keep his voice steady. “It will be over for us. No more kingdoms in the forest.”

He was not sure as to why that was the most important thing to mention or why that small detail was going to be the one thing to make Dream stay, but it was the first thing which popped up into his head as he looked at the other who only gave him a sad expression and a small but soft smile. Wilbur could only guess what he was thinking as suddenly everything he knew was getting thrown out of the window. 

He realized that he had no idea who Dream was anymore or what he had gone through. He no longer knew his story or knew who he had become. He was not sure who his friends were or if he had family, maybe he was married and maybe he was even going to have a kid soon. There was nothing that Wilbur knew about him when it came to everyday stuff. He knew his tells and things he used to do when he was a child but nothing more than that. 

Wilbur was not even sure if he had an apartment or a house, if he lived in the middle of the city or somewhere outside of it. Heck he was not even sure if Dream had had his first kiss or his first girlfriend yet, he knew nothing which normal friends knew about each other. It was strange and Wilbur was not sure why he was suddenly thinking about things like those, but it all flashed before him as he looked into those green eyes. 

Wilbur took a deep breath before running a hand through his hair, trying to calm down whatever stress it was he had managed to build up inside of him. Dream turned away from him. 

“Can I at least know when you are leaving?” Wilbur was shocked at his own words, not sure why he had asked them or why it would even matter. But the question was simple and hopefully something he could get answers on. There were too many things he wanted to know which he was sure would remain unsolved and unanswered between them. He needed something, anything. 

“I’m leaving at six, depends on when George and Nick feel ready to leave.” Dream answered as he opened the door. Wilbur watched as his expression changed at the mentions of those names, the blond suddenly looking like he was a little more at peace with himself and his thoughts. 

“Are those your friends?” 

“Yeah. Goodbye Wilbur. Please don’t get into anymore trouble alright?” Wilbur had to keep the tears back, feeling them slowly fill his eyes up and cloud his view. He did not want this to be the last Dream saw of him and therefore he stood his ground and kept whatever it was wanting to get out inside of him. He swallowed hard, trying to get the lump in his throat to disappear. 

It was painful and it felt like the lump was choking him and pushing at his throat, not letting him breathe enough. He wanted to scream or to gasp for air and get the oxygen down into his lungs once again. But his mouth remained shut as Dream walked out of the room and closing the door behind him, disappearing from view in front of him and leaving him to stand in the cold and pretty bad smelling room on his own. 

He felt cold, as if there were suddenly strong winds inside of the room which blew against his skin like cold water. He might as well have jumped into the river with how cold everything suddenly felt and how his chest seemed to be screaming. Everything inside of him was hurting and he only wanted to flee the scene or to run after the other, beg him to stay. 

But it was already too late, Dream was gone. His old best friend had once again left him and this time he was not going to return back home or try to find him. Whatever it was they had tried to build up was blown away like the wind and a small part of Wilbur wished that he had never even met Dream in the first place, that he had never been his friend.

He would have been saved from so much pain if he had just never started hanging out with the other, so much hurt would have been unknown to him if he had just never talked to him and never gotten to know him. His parents would hopefully have been alive and he would never have done all of the things which he had done. He would not be standing in the back of a bar in a smelly bathroom trying to keep himself from crying and screaming because of the other. Nothing of this would have happened. 

Dream had caused him so many years of pain that he was starting to wonder if those years with him had even been worth it. Those years of safety and happiness were starting to fade from his life since it had been exchanged with whatever hell it was he was in now, it was all just painful and he wanted the pain to end. He was not sure how much longer he was going to handle it all. 

“Goodbye, old friend.” He whispered out into the air, mostly to himself than to Dream who was probably far gone anyways. He wanted to know what he was thinking and what he was feeling, was there anything he could have done to make him stay? If he had said something else would Dream have stayed with him for a few more minutes?

It did not matter, he was gone now and he was not going to return. This was it, this was the end of their story. There was nothing else to it than this and he would just have to walk home and probably burn whatever it was he had left in his drawer. 

His hand flew up to the necklace which hung around his neck and his fingers brushed against the metal, pulling it out from underneath his shirt and looking at it with narrowed eyes as his thumb traced the pattern of the waves. It had been such a lovely gift but now it meant nothing. It was useless and held no more value than just being that- a necklace. A necklace which had never been on display but had been well worn. 

It was unfair for the necklace, it should have gotten an owner which actually wanted it or showed it off to the world. Not that it mattered, it was a necklace, it had no feelings. But still it felt like it had some sort of connection with him and even now Wilbur refused to take it off. He let it hang on the outside of his shirt as he too made his way out, the necklace showing itself as it laid on his chest. 

The walk home was hard, and he wanted nothing more than to lay down and fall asleep on the ground, wishing he could call out for Dream again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end?
> 
> Please dont forget to leave comments! Once again they truly do help getting these chapters out and it means so much to me. I love to hear your thoughts about the story and such, its super fun! 
> 
> Love you all!


	13. He will always hate me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo and Tommy only wanted to help, and help they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I saw someone who (i believe) had been inspired by my fic and people were tagging it in the comments...I swear to god I started to cry. It meant a whole lot and I am forever grateful for it. If you ever do make work based on my fics, please tag me! I would love to see it! 
> 
> Also thank you all for the kind and sweet comments! They really make me incredibly happy and im thankful for all of them, they help me and inspire me as well. Not gonna lie, i refresh my inbox more often than i should ahah- 
> 
> Anyways the story is finally moving forward a little bit! I think its time lmao,,,
> 
> Also i read a little bit of my fanfic to my mom and she was so proud over me i was happy and jsnng yes,,jbgkle
> 
> pssss the little playlist i made has like 600 views which is insane, like holy fuck thats pog. Thank you all so much!
> 
> Enjoy the story!

One thing he never learned was how to end a song. 

He always found himself staring out the window trying to find out how he was supposed to write the ending of the song, how to make it flow out easily and in a way he wanted it to. He tried and tested different things but it never sounded quite right- it felt like there was something wrong or that he was not getting what he wanted out of the song. Was it the lyrics? Or maybe it was the way the notes sounded. He was not sure and it was becoming quite annoying. 

He had tried to experiment with his ways of playing and changing things up a little bit, finding new ways to play and maybe make himself get better as a guitarist. It was quite fun to him and usually he enjoyed it, but today was different. Today there was something stopping him, a thorn in his side which was not going away and stopping him from doing what he usually liked.

He once again glanced towards the clock which showed it to be only a few minutes left until Dream left town. Only a few minutes and then the other would be gone forever once again, only this time no hope and no wishes would cause him to change or to come back. He knew the truth now, he knew who Dream was and what kind of person he had grown into. Not even in his dreams would things change and the boy he had fallen in love with seemed to be gone away just like the wind. It was stupid, really. 

He had fallen in love with someone who is not real anymore, he had fallen in love with who Dream used to be and what kind of person he was when they were kids. He had fallen in love with a kind and caring boy, a boy who wanted no harm to be done to anyone and always did his best to support the people he cared about. He had fallen in love with the boy who had green emerald like eyes and a smile which was brighter than the sun. The blond locks which fell over his cheeks and danced in the wind and were soft like a feather to touch. 

He loved the boy who would grab his hand and pull him into the forest where they would play out their own world and where it was just the two of them. He loved the boy who held a stick to the baby blue sky and claimed himself as a proud king who promised to treat everyone equally and protect his citizens as if they were his own brothers and sisters. That’s the Dream he loved, and that’s the Dream who was gone. 

Those bright eyes were often dull and masked, hiding away his thoughts and his feelings behind a dark and tall wall which he had spent years of building. Instead of holding a stick towards the sky he now carried around a gun which rested comfortably against his hips and was pointed towards people he saw as scumbags and non-fitting in today's society. He no longer held a promise to treat everyone with respect, instead he only let the whip fall on the backs of people who were slightly different from himself. If he rewinded a few years back, he would not be surprised if Dream had been in the army. 

It had been a dark time, a time where he had been quiet and drowning himself out in the drinking while watching as the world around him changed itself and switched up where hate was the one ruling them. Hate was such a powerful thing, hate could ruin someone and eat up at their soul. Hate filled the hearts of the once who did not understand and the ones who were simple minded- the ones who lived in fear of what they did not know. It had been disgusting watching it, but there would always be one thing which was stronger than hate and fear. 

Hope. 

Hope is what kept you alive and hope is what brought everything and everyone else down on their knees who carried the cold flame inside of their chest. Instead of following blindly and seeing no end to the darkness, some people had decided to keep the white and pure light inside of them and hope that new times would come. Times where no one would have to be afraid and new times where you could kiss whoever you want, bring anyone you like into your home and where the whole world judged you based on who you were as a person instead of your looks. 

Hope was a flame during rain. It could so easily be let down by the hate pouring down over it if it let it, but if the flame was strong enough it could burn until the rain stopped and take back its reign. According to Wilbur, that is what had happened during the war and what he and his friends were doing at the moment. They were the flame which had been dancing underneath the rain waiting to come back stronger and more alive than ever- showing themselves to the world with their voices high and ringing. They would not bow for the hatred and the fear, they would not give in to the world around them and follow leaders like dogs. 

They were the hope and they were writing on the walls telling everyone about it. They would once again rise above all of the bad things happening around them and they would be the ones to show that there was more to this world than what they all could see. They were proud and they wanted to show it, one day they would show it, but until then they would have to try and grow their flame large enough for other people to see and to understand. How long it would take, no one knew. But they would fight as long as they could and never give up for what they believe in. Not even the cops could do anything. 

They had their books and they had history behind them which they could use to prove their point. They had everything behind them to make sure that others would understand in due time. It would work and Wilbur carried no doubt in his head that they would succeed and bring wonders to the world they lived in, even if they started in a small village outside of the city. He would not be afraid and he would not lower his head. 

He looked back at the guitar which laid still in his lap, looking at it curiously as he started to pick at the strings again and think of words which he could sing. Somehow it sounded better, almost as if his thinking had finally led somewhere and he smiled to himself as his sore fingers moved against the metal strings and played the tunes which he liked. For now he only hummed, trying to figure out what tunes would fit the best with the melody in which he had created. 

He often got told that his voice was rich and smooth, soft like butter and warm like a summer day. He had it in him to sing and he had gotten more confident about it over the years of singing and playing- doing it as a hobby and maybe one day even as a job. He would have to travel to the city and see if they had a job for him somewhere where he could play on his beloved instrument and show his talent to the rest of the world instead of only playing for his walls and himself. It was a huge dream and he knew it, but he really wanted to one day grow up to be someone and not sit in some shop selling shoes or make a living off of becoming a doctor. 

Nikki was going to become a teacher next year and he had never seen someone being so happy or so proud. She was excellent with kids and he had never seen such a caring and loving person before who liked to inspire others. She was a strong woman who did not take shit from anyone- this job was almost made for her. Wilbur knew that she would be a big person to look up to for the kids and that they would value her more than the rest. He just knew it. 

The girl had always wanted to have a few kids on her own, but judging by the fact that it was quite hard Wilbur could only guess that she would not get any near in the future. He was not even sure if single moms or if gay couples were even allowed to adopt kids and so he was incredibly sad for her. But working at the school would probably be to comfort her where she could take care of them even if it was just for a few hours every day. In that way it made the work as a teacher even better for her and he could not wait to see her grow for it or to see the outcomes. 

Even better, Eret worked in the library which was located inside of the school. It was quite small and did not have more than three walls aligned with books but it was still very cozy and beautiful. The two of them would be close together and their dynamic would be so much fun for the children and for the coworkers. He was sure that they would spread positivity in the school (which really needed it). He saw nothing negative about it and he hoped that time would pass by quickly so that she could get the job and start already. 

He sighed before putting the guitar away, his fingers hurting from playing on it for too long and being slightly red in the tips from pushing down on the strings. When he had first started to play he could not play for more than twenty minutes without needing to take a break since his fingers hurt too much. Now he could play for a few hours and only feel a little sore because of it. He had been playing ever since he had gotten home which was around two hours ago. He shook his head before falling backwards onto his bed and letting his head rest against the white pillow beneath. 

His bed was quite fluffy and it almost felt like he was laying on a cloud. He had spent a lot of time trying to fix the mattress to make it feel as fluffy as it was and it was even his old grandparents sheets which he used. They were very neatly sewn and they had used a very soft material which Wilbur liked. He had never really met his grandparents but he had found them when he was getting thrown out of his old house. 

He had spent a full day looking through his parents' stuff together with Eret’s mother, taking everything which he could need and finding to bring over. She was a kind and a very lovely woman, always putting others before herself and making sure her son was alright. She had died just a few years back which had left Eret devastated, he had been crying for a full week and both Nikki and Wilbur had tried to reach out to him without ever getting an answer. It had been worrying, but after a month or so he seemed to slowly come back to them. 

Wilbur had been sad too, grieving and making sure that her grave was well kept and that the flowers were placed just like she liked it. He had spent around ten years living underneath that woman's roof, he was not going to let her grave look like any other one you could find by the church. Eret had thanked him one too many times for it but Wilbur did not mind. Sometimes Eret would also come to help, Nikki had picked out the flowers once and he had taught Tommy how to plant the flowers just right. It felt nice to be there and sometimes he wondered if she was looking at them and smiling, proud over the things they were doing. He hoped that she was. 

He let his fingers run through his hair as he closed his eyes, for a second just focused on his breathing to ignore the aching of his heart which pounded inside of his chest. He hoped that Dream would not leave and that maybe he would rethink it all and stay for him, maybe want to stay a little while longer for them to talk and maybe bond again. Was that too much to wish for? Wanting the other to come running back to him and maybe apologize and try again? There must have been some progress back at the bar, right?

  
This could not be the end, it just could not end like this. Living apart to never meet again and Dream would get the best life he could ever ask for- a young higher up officer in the police area which he would only grow in. Maybe one day he could be the head of the police force and do close to whatever he wanted and live a life normal boys only could dream of. Maybe he could be on TV one day or have an article written about his work. The possibilities were endless for him and there was nothing to stop him from achieving this. 

Wilbur was not jealous, not in the slightest. He would never want a life as a cop or try and push wrong from right or hurt other people in the name of the law. However, he was jealous that other people would get to know all about the blond boy from a small town outside of the city and everyone else would love him. But they could never love Dream the way that he did and he did not want to share the boy from the town outside of the city, either. It did not matter if Dream had changed or not- it was still him. It was still the same eyes even if they were hiding something. 

The world was not fair and he wanted nothing else but to turn the clock around and maybe stop the other from leaving, keep him close or ask him if there was something wrong or if he wanted to maybe have a sleepover. Maybe then he could have changed everything happening around him. It probably would not change his sexuality, but maybe it would change the way he saw things and he would not kill Wilbur for feeling like this. A man could hope. 

Suddenly a bang ran through the house, sounding like the back door had slammed open as two people quickly ran inside and closer to his room. Although suddenly it did not seem like two people were running, the way the footsteps echoed through the building change as one person seemed to be dragged more. It was a strange change but Wilbur only wrote it off as Tommy and Tubbo playing or messing around with each other again. They usually did that and Wilbur had long gotten used to the two boys. 

They were very lively and often on some new adventures. They also really liked to try and steal whatever Nikki had baked and more often than not had he caught the two eating away on whatever cookies they had managed to get their hands on. They were very sneaky and usually it was only pure luck Wilbur had managed to walk in on it. Most of the time he just let them eat- who was he to ruin the two’s moment? Everyone needed an extra cookie from time to time. 

He could feel the way his chest went up and down softly, feeling heavy as he breathed and opened his eyes to look at the ceiling. There was something an old lady once had told him while sitting next to the road one night, something that he could not be able to shake from his mind and that stayed with him whenever he laid down like this. 

_ Don’t only think with your mind, think with your body.  _

It was a strange thing to say and most of the time Wilbur had brushed her off as being strange and not okay in the head. But the more he relaxed into the mattress the better he felt. It was something weird to feel, your whole body going limp but feeling alive almost as if your head and your body were two separate things. He could feel every muscle and the blood flowing freely through him. He could feel every ache and every nerve which made themselves known inside of him. It was a pleasant feeling and it was also great to help him sleep on bad nights.

He never saw that lady again and he wondered where she had gone off to or where she had even come from. There would never be any answers to his questions and he had learned to accept it a long time ago. She was like a ghost that had entered his life for only a split second, but she had left a mark in him. One that he saw no negatives in. She looked to be old and he could only guess that she had passed away not too far after their meeting. Even so he hoped she was well wherever she was and that maybe she was with Eret’s mother. 

There was a knock on his door, and the magical softness which had been resting on him disappeared like the wind as he sat up and looked towards the wooden door. It was confusing as to why someone would want him right now. Dinner was usually not until seven or eight and everyone was busy with their own unless something bad had happened. What if there was a fire which the two boys had accidentally started? Wilbur begged that it was not the case. 

“Yeah, come in.” Wilbur said softly and the door opened slowly to reveal a boy standing there, looking guilty. It was almost as if he had caught the other stealing or something and Wilbur raised an eyebrow at him to silently ask what it was he had done this time. It was not unusual for Tommy to be up to no good but more often than not he tried to hide it. Only a few times had he ever come to confess his actions. 

“Hi, Wilbur.” He said and looked down to the floor, letting his foot rub against the carpet which rested outside of the door. His hair was slightly overgrown and he probably needed a haircut. Although Wilbur found it quite adorable how the other let his hair fall wild on top of his head. The aura in the room had changed and Wilbur could almost smell the anxiety running from the other boy, Tubbo did not seem to be besides him. 

“What have you done now?” He asked, not wanting to chit chat around the subject and drag time out. The faster he knew the faster he could help him fix it and make everything right again. Unless he had ruined Nikki’s bakings from yesterday which would not end well. She really did enjoy baking, but when people took without asking she was nothing else but angry and annoyed. It was all fair though, she had the right to be. The two boys should really learn about it. 

Tommy nervously laughed as he turned his gaze upwards instead, fumbling with his hands and standing with his back slightly curved. Wilbur had forgotten how many times he had told the other to stand up straight and stop looking like an old man who was on his way out. But the younger man never listened to him and kept standing weird. Maybe one day he would take the words in and actually stand up straight and look as tall as he actually was. 

Wilbur got out of his bed and stood besides it, trying to maybe intimidate the other to get it out of him faster. It seemed to somehow work because suddenly the other boy seemed to stutter a lot more as he tried to get his words out while looking up to the man with the glasses, sweating slightly before rubbing the back of his neck. It must have been something really bad which he had done and Wilbur was getting quite worried.

“Just spill it, Tommy.” 

“You know that guy you talked to?” 

Wilbur froze in his place as he looked at the other. He knew that Tommy had overheard things and that he was aware about who Dream was a little more than he wished for, but he had never once mentioned him like this. It was like a bad and dark secret between them which they had decided to lock away and never speak about ever again. Wilbur had after all locked the other out as if he was a sickness or the devil himself after it. When he thought about, maybe it had been way too hard on the other since he had only been curious. Wilbur would have done the same. 

Still it nudged him the wrong way, especially since Dream was supposed to leave town about now and leave him for good. It was a very strange coincidence but there was no way in hell the other knew that much. It would just be weird and he would be very confused as to how Tommy got that information. Maybe he had spied on the police force and listened in to them to know. Wilbur was not sure if he even wanted to know. 

“I noticed you were quite upset- so I asked around for a bit and found out that he was leaving.” Wilbur nodded. 

“I could only guess you were not on good terms yet and I wanted to help!” Tommy looked sincere as he tried to force a smile out, trying to prove that he had only meant good but that something had clearly gone astray and that they now had a huge problem at their hands. Wilbur wanted to scream at him to just say it already and get to the point, but he remained quiet as he waited for the other to finish his little story. 

“So me and Tubbo went out with this amazing plan! It was safe proof I will tell you that.” The other looked almost a little too proud over himself as he spoke and Wilbur fumbled with the sleeve of his shirt, trying to remain calm and focus and not jump into any conclusions about what had happened. He was incredibly worried, though. 

“We found your little friend and we…” Wilbur felt the air leave his lungs as he looked at him and his eyes widened in realization, not sure on what he was supposed to do or what to say as he saw how Tommy’s cheek gained color in embarrassment. Wilbur shook his head trying to urge him on. 

“We tricked him in here-”

Tommy did not even have a chance to finish his sentence before Wilbur rushed by him and out of his room towards the younger ones. Luckily they were right next to each other since Tommy had always been soft and wanting to be close to his elder brother, but also lucky for times like these. He was glad but also terrified as he stopped outside of the door, his heart beating hard inside of his chest and making him feel almost dizzy from the quick blood flow. He could hear his own breaths. 

They were heavy as they hung in the air and he did not want to believe what the two boys had done, he could not understand how they had even managed to do such a thing or why the thought even crossed their minds. Did they understand what they just had done? That they had tricked a god damn police officer into their own house, into their own room, for him? For something they did not even have anything to do with. It was sick, but he should praise them for their bravery and cleverness. He would not have been able to do something similar. 

His hand rested on the doorknob before pushing it down and walking into the room, the warmth from his body leaving him and making him feel as if he was standing naked in the middle of a snow storm. The hairs on his arms stood up as the door slowly opened itself in front of him to reveal what it was behind it. 

In there he saw Dream tied to a chair, looking slightly groggy and in pain. His legs and his arms as well as his torso were tied down using what looked like to be their old skipping ropes which were neatly tied to make sure the blond would not be able to escape. He had no idea how they had managed to kidnap a god damn cop and bring him into their house and tie him to a chair as if this was some sick mafia. Wilbur could only stare. 

Tubbo was sitting beside him on the floor and fiddling with the last knot, making extra sure that they were secure before looking up at Wilbur whose face had gone white and pale- almost as if he had seen a ghost. He was shocked and confused, not sure on what to say or what to think as he witnessed his childhood friend in front of him tied down by two teenagers. Two teenagers had managed to tie a cop down. 

He had to give it to them, that was some serious good work. 

Tubbo stood up and nodded towards Wilbur before running past him and out again, making his way over to his best friend who was waiting for him and letting the two men be alone for a while. They also made sure to close the door behind them. If it was to make Wilbur and Dream feel more secure and comfortable or if they were just scared Wilbur would yell at them if there was an opening he was not sure. Maybe it was a mix of them both. It did not change the sight in front of him however as Dream looked at him, grimacing slightly. 

“Jesus fuck…” He mumbled before hurrying over to Dream and sitting down in front of him, checking on how the ropes were tied and if they were too tight or not. The two seemed to be somewhat aware of what they were doing since the ropes were not tied hard enough to cut off his blood flow- plus the knots looked extremely well done which made him wonder if they had practiced for times like these or if they were just generally this good. He was amazed and almost jealous of their skills. 

“You never told me you had kids.” Dream joked and cracked a smile at him, his eyes slightly narrowed as he looked at him. Wilbur reached out to touch his head, making the other flinch out in pain.

“They knocked you out, did they not?” Wilbur sighed as the other nodded. 

“Told me someone was dying in here. Next thing my head explodes and I wake up tied down. They’re smart, unlike you.” The brunet could only laugh at that. Sure they were smart, but Dream was just stupid enough to believe two kids that someone was dying and getting hit in the head. Although this was Manburg, nothing fun ever happened here and it was only because of their past Dream had gotten knocked out. Not in a million years would it have happened otherwise. 

“You are just stupid enough to fall for it.” He put his hand on the ropes, just testing to see if they were all that well done or if it was just a few. He also considered if he should undo them, but for now he decided that they would stay on. Dream could just be playing to try and get out of the chair as quickly as possible and he was not about to try and test his theory out. He took one step away from the other and Dream watched his every step. 

“I thought we were done, why are you out sending your kids after me?” He asked, starting to look slightly better. His eyes were no longer narrowed but he did flinch if moved his head too much. Hopefully the pain would pass away soon. For Dream’s sake. 

He crossed his arms as he took a look at the other. He was once again in his uniform but his hair was slightly more messy from when they had met earlier that day. Although it was not really knotted, more falling out of place and being a little here and there. Tubbo and Tommy must have had some trouble trying to get him up in the chair. Dream was after all quite the ripped guy and did not look like he was all slim and bones. The two were strong and talented, he hated to admit it but he was impressed.

“I did not, Tommy overheard us by the tree and decided to do this all on his own with Tubbo.” 

Dream nodded slightly, not tearing his eyes away from the other. If Wilbur had no idea about what had happened and if there had been no ropes, he would just have guessed that Dream was either very high or very drunk. Maybe a little mix of both if he felt spicy. But he was slowly coming back and he was not sure if that was a good or bad thing. He did not want to know what kind of punishment Dream would lay on the two kids when he got out of there. 

The two boys were in some serious trouble and he was not sure if they were aware of it or not. This was definitely a kidnapping and it made it even worse that it was a cop they had gone for. It would not be fun for Dream to explain it to his coworkers either- it would actually be quite embarrassing to tell them how two kids managed to kidnap him and tie him to a chair in a random house without any problems. Maybe he would not say anything at all, that would be better for them all. 

“Clever boys… Tommy is the blond one, right?” Wilbur nodded, not sure if it was good to tell him or not. He did not want Dream to know about their identities, but on the other hand Dream would be leaving soon so it did not matter. He could hopefully get away with it all pretty easy since the two were underaged and could not be taken into prison for their crimes. Although Wilbur would probably be the one taking most of the blame and the hit. Hopefully Dream could go easy on him.

“He is the one who painted with you that night I believe. A quick one, I must admit.” Dream tried to wiggle against his restraints, testing the limits of them to see if he could get out easy or not. He only lightly struggled since he knew Wilbur was there and he was not about to put on a show for them, but he gathered enough information about them that he needed to be smart if he wanted to get out. The brunet watched him like a hawk, not taking his eyes off of him for one single moment. 

“I taught him well.” 

“Where are their parents? They seem to be too old to be yours.” 

Wilbur swallowed, not sure on what to say. He knew Tommy’s parents had left him to die out in the woods, but he was not really sure about Tubbo. He had just popped up one day with Tommy and they had assumed they were brothers of some sort until they told them otherwise. Tommy had been so excited having a new friend with him his own age which he could hang out with. 

The blond did however sleep curled up next to him or sat in his lap during thunderstorms for a full year after finding Tubbo- still wanting the man he called his big brother to protect him and keep him close whenever he felt scared or upset. Nikki and Eret had caught them falling asleep next to each other multiple times which they found adorable, liking that Wilbur finally had something and someone he really cared about.

He loved his friends and cared for them of course, but with Tommy he wanted to be someone, a person and a role model. He did everything in his power to be sober around the boy and to not act weirdly. He did everything right (or well, tried) and made sure Tommy took good care of himself and did not follow any bad steps he himself had taken. They still had that relation between them, the brother one, but Tommy had started leaning himself more towards Tubbo and Wilbur was happy for them. Happy that they had each other and that they could talk about anything and everything. 

“You could see me as a father?” Wilbur asked, trying to turn the question away. Dream noticed but decided to keep his mouth shut about it, only tilting his head slightly to the side in a taunting way. Wilbur did not like it. 

“You will never be a father, Wilbur.” 

He knew what the words were implying, he knew what the other had meant and that he was probably trying to insult him. But still he felt like he had gotten used to it and that he was already aware. He already knew Dream was a fucking asshole so it did not really matter or shock him as much as it should have. He also learned that whenever his eyes went pale he was hiding something, so there were more to his words than he let on. Wilbur decided to try and remember that. 

“Well, Dream. You’re a cop and let two kids kidnap you and tie you to a chair in a small town… I don’t even think you will last a day out there, so you probably won't either.” He leaned in closer, crouching down only a few centimeters in front of the chair so he was almost the same height as Dream was when he sat down in the chair. They were close and if he listened hard enough he could hear the blond’s breaths, filling the air around them. Wilbur smiled, feeling his heart beat up faster with excitement. 

He was the one who had the full control here, he was the one who could do anything to the other or say anything he wanted. Dream was tied down and for now had no power over him. He felt good about that as he looked at him, trying to read his expression.

Dream only stared at him, not trying to bite back or back away from the invalidation of his personal space. He couldn’t anyways since he was tied to his chair, but he did not seem to flinch away or try to even tilt himself backward. Instead he sat down proudly and like a rock, showing off that he was not afraid of his old friend and that he would be ready for anything to happen. He knew Wilbur would not harm him, he knew he only wanted to talk. 

“Just let me go, they will wonder where I am.”    
  


“I am not letting you go.” 

Wilbur was surprised by how fast his words got out and Dream seemed to be too, raising an eyebrow at him. The taller between them stood steady and tried to hide that he was confused by his own words and that it had been a total accident. He stood his ground and did not back away from Dream, looking at him straight in the eyes trying to act like the bigger horse between them. 

“How so? Will you just keep me around like your prisoner?” 

Wilbur chuckled before shaking his head, letting his hand rest upon the ropes which were keeping Dream down to the chair and making him immobile. He felt powerful in a way, but also at complete mercy at the other. 

His everything wanted to give in and to crawl closer, touch him and just feel his breath against his skin and listen to his heart. He wanted to close the distance between them and he wanted to test just how far he was able to go. It was wrong and he knew it, but he still wanted to do it. However, he was a higher person than that and therefore stood his ground and kept control over himself. 

“Who hurt you?” He whispered and let his fingers slowly make their way from the ropes and up his arms, brushing them against his shirt and up towards where the mark was. The mark which he had showed him just a few hours earlier in the back of the bar. The mark which was actually a scar from something, something Wilbur was not sure exactly was. He wanted to know, and he was going to know. 

Dream froze underneath him as Wilbur slowly undid his shirt to get a better look at the scar, opening the fabric up to reveal his collarbones and his neck. His shoulder came into view and Wilbur let his fingers touch against the pink part of his skin, just gently letting them dance over his skin. He saw how Dream swallowed and slowly lost the mask he had previously been wearing of being a tough and unbreakable strong man. It was almost funny how easy it was, Wilbur was not sure if it was good or bad. 

For him, it was probably good. It meant that he knew a weakness the other had and what could potentially leave him to a few answers. But on the other hand it was terrible that somethíng so terrible had happened to him that he lost it in the matter of seconds. It was in times like these he truly saw his best friend in there, when he was afraid. 

It was sick and horrible, Wilbur was aware, but it also felt slightly nice. It showed that Dream was still a human with feelings just like him, and it showed those eyes he remembered from when they were just two kids. It was Dream in there, he was still in there even if he only showed himself when there were no walls surrounding him and when he wanted him to come out. Dream was still there, he was there. 

“Wilbur..” He whispered quietly as he looked at him, silently saying something which the brunet was not sure about what it was. It felt strange and somehow wrong to touch him, but also so very right. He did not want to stop, he wanted to continue to feel him and to have him so close. His skin was soft and warm and he wanted to learn every curve and everything about him. There was a soft hint of desperation in his voice, hushed down to a whisper as he spoke. Wilbur glanced at him. 

“Dream it’s me, what happened?” His hand moved its way up further, never leaving his skin as it made its way up towards his cheek which he took in his hand to cup it. His thumb gently stroked against him as he looked at his old friend. Dream did not move. “Talk to me.” He continued to try and urge the other one. 

“Therapy.” He whispered quietly, his voice strained and filled with pain. It took the other quite by surprise as he stared at him. Therapy? What kind of sick therapy was it and what had he needed it for? Had he gotten hurt so badly that they had decided to bring him into therapy because of it? Had they beaten him up after he had left?   
  
He could almost see it in front of him, people surrounding his friend as they pushed him down to the ground and landed hit by hit on him before someone decided that maybe it was best to bring something heavier to the club. Wilbur was still not sure what the scar could have been caused by since it did not look narrowed like a burn mark and not uplifted as if it had been a cut. He felt confused and lost at the scar and he wanted to know what had happened. 

Had it happened before or after leaving? It still looked like it had only been there for a few years since it was still not correctly colored and looked a little more pink or pale which was different from his normal skin tone. There was something strange and off putting about it all and it felt like he should know where it was from or what had caused it. It must have been something bad. He just hoped Dream would not pull up his walls again around him or try to bury his emotions like he had previously. Wilbur swallowed. 

“Therapy?” He asked quietly as Dream turned his head away from the other, trying to escape the soft touch as if it was poison or hurting him. It was sad to watch as Wilbur retreated his hand letting it fall away from the other who seemed to be uncomfortable or unsure about the touch. 

“They shocked me.” 

The words hung heavy in the air and Wilbur felt himself lose all of the air inside of his lungs and his heart stopped. Time itself seemed as if it had stopped inside of their room as all sounds died out surrounding them and leaving them alone. It was cold again but no window was open and it felt like he was drowning in the silence. He could only stare at Dream who looked like he was reliving it or having a hard time to understand what he was supposed to do or what to say. He looked so lost and for once, he looked small. 

Wilbur was not sure on what to say either as he looked at his old childhood friend, understanding what it was they had done to him. The horrible things which he had had to endure while being away from him and the things he had felt and seen. It was terrible.

The scar was from the metal pieces they had put on him which had sent electricity into his body, shocking him and making him feel incredible amounts of pain. Pain which Wilbur did not even want to imagine having to feel. It made him feel sick, he wanted to vomit at the thought. He wanted to scream and to cry and to hold Dream and promise he would not go through it again. 

It was not humane letting someone else go through that, Wilbur had heard enough stories about electrotherapy to understand that it was something which should be shut down immediately. Some people even died because of it, sometimes it was even used to kill people off quickly which was also something the tall male was strictly against. He did not wish that upon a human being, and especially not Dream. What had he even done to deserve this cruel punishment? 

“Dream…” He whispered before moving closer and letting his cheek rest against the other's temple, trying to bring him some closure without undoing the ropes or getting him out of there. He tried to show some sort of comfort and Dream did not seem to react. He sat still and stared out into the corner. “Why?”

Dream chuckled quietly before turning his face towards the other who leaned away slightly to avoid having their noses brush against each other. He felt upset and he felt angry, even if Dream had been a total ass he did not deserve that kind of torture. It was unfair, he had been such a sweet boy. No wonder he was like he was today and that he hid his feelings that well. He had learned to do it, of course he had learned to do it. 

“I was like you.” He whispered and Wilbur narrowed his eyes while looking at him, trying to understand what he was referring to and what he meant. 

“Who would I be to marry you?” 

The memories flashed before his eyes, his little proposal as a child to his friend. A promise of marriage towards his best friend which he had learned was more than just that. As a child he would never have understood that it was love which he felt for the other, that their friendship meant more to him than anything else. That nothing in the world could help him resemble what he felt whenever he had been with the freckled boy. 

The death of his parents filled his head too, the words they had said after he had told them about the way he had proposed to his best friend, the way he had truly meant it. When they understood why Wilbur was different from the other kids and why he never got crushes on any of the girls. 

“It never went away. I stuck to it which was so incredibly stupid of me.” Dream continued as Wilbur had his mouth slightly open, still shocked from it all. 

“You were…” He whispered and the other nodded. 

“I was, Will. But I know better now, even if the process was the worst thing I ever had to endure.” 

The brunet shook his head as he took a step backwards, looking at Dream who had returned to his usual no showing emotions expression. He was blank and cold as his eyes dug into him. But Wilbur could see in them that there was so much more pain behind them than ever before. There was so much pain that not even he could hide it anymore and put it on full display for everyone to see if they knew where to look. 

“I know better than to marry a boy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact- i have been writing stories ever since i learned how to pick up a pen. I remember writing stories and making them into small books which i even drew the covers for as a child before reading them out to my class. Author since birth am i right? Lmao,,,, god they all hated me. But i was also basically in a class full of middle class straight kids. There is an imposter among us, a feral lesbian....
> 
> Anyways i hope you enjoyed todays chapter! Dont forget to leave comments, i love reading them.
> 
> And if you ever do any work based on any of my fics, please tag me! I love to see it. If theyre on other social medias,, check my bio and I will leave my usernames there :,)
> 
> haha also my cat has been sleeping in my lap all while doing online classes. 
> 
> Also cosplayers who cosplay mcyt you all are so fucking pretty i swear my heart is melting- Im TRYING and you all are out there being fucking royalty....
> 
> have a good day! I love you all ;3


	14. You can't stop DNA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur continues trying to get through the other, taking it one step too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to another chapter!
> 
> It was incredibly hard writing this chapter, I was out in the cabin at first and then I fell into a very bad mood drop. So if it feels strained or weird that is probably the reason behind it!
> 
> Thank you all for being here and being so supportive, i love you all so much and you mean the world to me. Thank you for being on this journey and sending so much love <3
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

You always find yourself to know someone until you do not anymore. You always find yourself trusting someone until they break the trust and no matter what you will always find out when you least expect it. Maybe it was the way the world worked or maybe it was just the sick way this game was played. No one knew what would happen next besides the rulemakers or the game itself- maybe it was trying to mess around as much as they could while creating its ways. No one was really sure and no one would ever be sure. 

That’s what he felt when he stared into the numb green eyes before him, those eyes which he had grown to love, to hate and to be unsure about. Those eyes which haunted him whenever he went to sleep and those eyes which made him wonder what life was all about. Was it possible to find yourself longing for someone who was out to destroy you? Or has he gotten all of his feelings and emotions mixed up from all the years of torture and pain which he had had to endure?   
  


No one really knew what was behind the things he felt, and no one really knew what the cause of this mess was. What cruel power had made the two of them go through such horrible things? Wilbur only knew the mental pain and he only carried the scars inside of him feeling nothing else but numbness and chest aches. Dream on the other hand, he had experienced true pain. Pain that rips you inside out and leaves permanent scars on your body as to remind you of what you had been through. It was sick, and Wilbur felt like he could throw up. 

He was not sure on what to think or what to say while looking at the other. Everything became so much clearer and the puzzle pieces were starting to fall into place the more he thought about it. They both had said the same thing and they both had triggered this game into play, a game the two had been too young to understand and were now broken and wounded beyond repair. They had the same reason behind their trauma, even if they both had it because of the same reason. 

He was not sure which one of them had suffered the most since there was a large gap in what had happened over the years. Dream had been forced and tortured into a good life without doing any more wrongs than having feelings for someone of the same gender as himself. Wilbur however had crashed into despair and turned into a mess, a mess that caused destruction and problems. Sure, he was pulling himself together but he was still viewed as a trouble kid wherever he went. Dream was highly respected. 

He wished that he had known earlier, he wished that he had managed to understand and to maybe fix things. Lately it felt like they had only been dancing around each other and being so close to getting fixed only for it to be burned once again and turned into dust. It was not a nice dance, he hated it. But at least now he understood more about why things were the way they were. 

Dream was not actually homophobic, he had been  _ tortured  _ into this mindset. It was not him in reality, it was just a mask he carried to protect himself and a survival instinct which he had adapted over time to avoid getting hurt. The way he masked his emotions were way too good to just be learned over the years- Wilbur should have known that there was more to it than just being a cop. He should have known the moment he saw the scar and he should not have thought of him that way. 

It did not correct his wrong, but it did however explain it. It did not fix or excuse the things he had said and the things he probably had done but it did help Wilbur to get some sort of hope. Maybe he could help him out of it, maybe he could help him see and help him understand. They both had trauma, they both had PTSD and so maybe they could help each other out. Or well, Wilbur could try and help Dream out. 

The blond did not tear his eyes away as he looked at his stunned old friend, trying to understand what was happening inside of his brain. He was not fighting the restraints and for a moment, Wilbur even forgot that they were there since he was too caught up in trying to understand the whole situation. It was messed up and it was fucking with his brain more than he wanted to admit. 

Wilbur found himself struggling with his words, his heart jumping inside his chest as he tried to contain himself. Dream was attracted to men, he actually felt attraction towards men. Being gay was not something you could cure and he knew that it was actually survival instincs taking over instead of it “being cured” as the doctors would like to say it. It would be like changing someone’s ethnicity or who they were- you could not. It just was not possible and he was aware of it. 

All those years of hoping and wishing for Dream to be like him were true, it was all true and in a way he felt guilty. It almost felt like he was the one who had wished this upon the other even if that was not the case. He had wanted Dream to be like him and he had wanted to be able to have a chance with the other. He did, it was just the fact that he had been tortured for god knows how long because of it and because of the way he felt for others. 

There was only one downside to it all, and that was that Dream may feel attraction towards men, but he would not admit it or give in to it. Right now his brain was probably connecting that feeling attraction towards men equals danger or pain and that it should be avoided at all costs. It was almost like running into a pit, you would not do it because you know you would not make it out alive and even if you did, you would be in constant pain and misery. Wilbur had no idea how to deal with these things. 

Was it even possible to undo what had been done to him? There was no way in hell he could manage to try and get Dream to go to a therapist or a doctor about it and he was not sure himself on what to do in these situations. He did not have the skills for it and he was not even sure if you could reverse what had been done. Was there even a chance Dream would ever recover from the pain he had had to endure? Maybe not. 

Wilbur moved closer to the other once again and went to sit in front of him, untying one of his arms to make him able to move slightly better. There were two ropes holding him down, one over his wrist and one over his actual arm. He decided to only do the ones over his wrists for now so that Dream would not quick him straight in the face and make a run for it. Maybe it was enough to at least show that this was a safe space and that he would not be harmed in any way. 

The silence around them was deafening and Wilbur felt his throat tighten up. Dream was not saying a word and he was not showing any emotions either. His face was blank and pale, the color being drawn back for some reason Wilbur was not completely sure of. It was sad to watch and he felt his heart slowly breaking as he looked down again to save him from those empty green eyes. It was painful, it was almost too painful. 

The ropes fell off of his wrists and Dream tried to move slightly to test the water and see just how much he was able to move. It was not much but at least the heavy weight over his wrists were gone. He had some slightly red marks here and there from struggling against the rope and burning himself- but it looked like it would be gone in the matter of a few minutes. He opened and closed his hand, trying to move anything even if it was slight. Wilbur did not back away. 

He stood crouched down in front of him and studied him, taking in every detail which showed itself on the blond’s face. Those freckles had been so beautiful and clear when they had been young, but now they were slowly fading away and barely even visible anymore. He looked thinner than he had as a child even if he was quite ripped. It was mostly his facial structure which gave it away that he had been through some terrible things if you looked closely. 

Judging by the dark circles underneath his eyes, it was also easy to tell that he had been losing sleep lately and that he was not having good times during the nights. He looked tired and exhausted as he investigated and he found himself wanting to reach out and let his thumb guide itself over his cheeks. Of course he kept a strict control over himself and did not do such a thing, but it was still on his mind. 

What could possibly be keeping him up and night? Was it his work? He had no idea how the police actually worked and what their times were and if it was a messy job. All he knew was that they were power hungry dogs who did everything and anything to make sure that they stayed in power over the people. They were the closest to dictators you could come meeting them on the streets and if you were any different, you were not safe. The more he thought about it, the more they sounded like church a couple of hundred years ago. 

But who knows? Maybe Dream had nightmares as well as he did about his traumatic experiences and maybe he too was afraid that if he fell asleep he would wake up in the situation once more. It was terrible and the nightmares never seemed to go away, Wilbur was not sure how bad Dream had it and if he deep inside knew that his attraction would never go away. Maybe he was afraid of it, maybe he feared himself and others around him. 

“If I untie the other knots, will you promise me to stay and not run away?” Wilbur asked quietly, his voice much softer from than it had been before now that he knew more about it. He knew more about Dream and he was starting to understand it all slightly better. Maybe it was because he felt guilty, maybe because his own feelings were coming in to play now. He was not sure about the reason as to why his voice suddenly became honey. 

“Why would I ever promise to stay?”   
  
From someone else’s perspective he had no reason to stay. He had been kidnapped by two teenagers and was being held hostage in another man's house getting questioned about his private life and being put on the spot as he was supposed to go back home and call in for duty in the city instead of out here. He was not supposed to be here, he was supposed to knock Wilbur out and run as fast as he could and report him for this whole situation. 

But this was personal and this meant more since Wilbur was not some random guy on the street. They had both suffered, they had suffered because of a silly promise they had made to each other as children and in all honesty it was just sad that things had turned out this way. Dream was not supposed to stay, he was not supposed to be here like a dog for Wilbur but even so he wanted him to. Dream needed to stay and Wilbur wanted him to stay for just a few more minutes. 

“Because of the boulders in the forest.” 

It was stupid and Wilbur wanted to hit himself in the face as fast as the words left his mouth, wanting nothing more but to take them back and pretend like he had never said anything at all. It was stupid and silly, if Dream did not remember it would even be more awkward and if Tommy and Tubbo were listening they would think he had gone crazy in there. 

But to them rocks in the forest meant something, it had been their secret place and their own little hideout which had meant everything. It had been there where they had grown up besides each other and learned to grow closer than ever before. It was where they trusted each other and where they had cared for the other as if no one else in the world mattered. It had been them out there, only them and no one else and he hoped that it had meant as much as it did to him as it did to Dream. He silently prayed.

Dream’s eyes seemed to flash for a split second, looking different as if he experienced a flashback or something similar for a moment. He tensed up before relaxing again and leaning back in the chair, a sad expression covering him as his muscles in his face relaxed and grew more limp. The mask he previously had been wearing as a facade was falling to the ground and Dream hoped that it was going to break so he never wore it again. His eyes did not look away from Dream as he nodded, silently promising him. 

Wilbur looked down again and untied the rest of the ropes which littered his body, undoing whatever it was Tubbo had tried to knot. It was extremely well done and he was slightly concerned over how good they were, he would have to ask where and why he had gotten to learn how to knot like this. Maybe he just had skillful hands or maybe the two boys had plotted something. As long as it was not too bad Wilbur could probably stand behind them since he too was quite the problem child. 

The ropes made slight noises and the harsh material burned against his fingers as he thought to get them off the other, the smell reminding him of the docks or whenever he had gone on a boat ride with other people. It made him wonder if these were really stolen or not and he probably had to ask the two kids later to confirm that they were really theirs. Otherwise they could get in some serious trouble. 

Once the rope fell to the ground Wilbur imagined Dream would break his promise and make a run for it, maybe kick him in the face or something similar to make sure that he would not be followed this time. But no kick came as he slowly stood up and offered a hand to help the other out of the chair. Dream hesitated before taking it, rising to stand on his feet once again. 

Touching him and holding his hand spread something through Wilbur, almost like he had just touched fire. He felt warm and his whole body woke up and became on high alert as he looked at Dream, their hands clasped together. He was slightly cold to hold but he did not mind, he actually would like to keep the other warm and be a personal heater if Dream was into that. But then again, he was not- the electrotherapy having done its job incredibly well on the other who did not seem to enjoy the hand holding as much as he did. 

He wished Dream had never let go, he wished that they could have been standing like that for a little while more and just hold on to each other. They were standing close, barely half a meter between them and Dream’s eyes dug through him and hit him like a knife. They were sharp and he was not sure on what to think as he looked at him. His heart was beating so hard that it was almost painful and he wanted nothing more but to close the gap between them once and for all. 

Twenty years back, even less than that, would he not even have thought about it before hugging him. He would have just jumped onto him and held him close and pressed against his body. But now things had changed and now he was not able to do it like he had before. It was strange to think back that once in the time that was possible, that he could love Dream openly and make silly little promises without feeling afraid or the other being disgusted or terrified. 

“Dream.” He whispered silently as the other stood in front of him. There was something hiding in there but he was not sure what it was, but it made Wilbur feel curious but also scared about it. Dream carried more secrets than he would have liked and at this point he could land a hit whenever he wanted. He trusted him even if he had no reason to, he trusted him even if he had every reason to not trust him. It was stupid and he was no longer sure as to why he was doing this or putting so much trust in the other. It was bad and he knew it. 

But even so Wilbur did, he stood his ground and tried to keep himself calm and let himself not force the other back in the chair. Trust was a dangerous thing, it could never be given but it had to be earned. Dream had not really done anything to earn it since he had broken it so many years ago and now turned into someone he was not. Wilbur often stood by his saying and did not let anyone near him which he did not put his full trust in. Why was he letting his walls down, why in the name of whatever was he doing this? 

The male in front of him raised an eyebrow as to try and urge him to continue and to stop wasting his time. He was supposed to be on his way out of here and judging by the time George and Nick were probably getting worried about him. He could not stay and Wilbur was aware of it but even so he made the other stay. It was selfish but he could no longer hide away like this and he needed the other. He did not want to sit in his room. 

He could not sit in there for another day and strum on his guitar while replaying the last events over in his head knowing that Dream was out there and who he was. He could not stand himself as he sat there and rotted away holding on to someone he was not supposed to hold on to. It was sick and slowly destroying him and he wanted it to end. 

“They tortured you.” He whispered and this time he actually let his hand out, gently cupping the others cheek who only looked at him as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He did not flinch at the mention of the ‘therapy’ which he had had to endure and his eyes did not change at the mention of it. One could believe that it had never happened or as if it happened to everyone and that it was normal. It was sick to watch even if he understood why he was not reacting harshly to it. 

He had to act like it was nothing, he had learned himself to act as if it was nothing to avoid any suspicions getting raised against him so that he would have to be put through it again. He wondered how much and how long he had been doing this and if it was a lot. It was a miracle the other was even standing up and talking about it like this and that he was not turning into a shaking mess. Wilbur could barely even handle Eret or Nikki bringing it up with him- as fast as someone mentioned his parents he would try and make a run for it. 

His fathers eyes which screamed of insanity as he dug the knife into himself, making sure that his son’s hands were on top of his to remind him that this was his fault and that he was the reason behind this. His mom who laid in the bed, dead as her blood ran down her arm. He never saw her eyes and he was glad that he never did, not sure if he would have been able to live with the image of those once brown colored eyes losing their light and staring up towards the roof, dead. He would not have been able to handle it and he felt disgusting only thinking about it. 

It was almost like he could feel their blood on his hands and he wondered if Dream felt something similar as well. He was curious if he too had this sick feeling inside of his chest and if he could still feel the strings of the electricity spreading through his body whenever his heart beat for someone who did not belong in the female category. 

“It was for my own good.”    
  
Wilbur wanted to cry, he wanted to scream at him that it was not true and that they had fed him a bunch of lies. His best friend, his friend whom he had longed for almost his whole life and who he had found himself to love, was broken believing himself to be fixed and he had no idea on what to do to help. He felt lost in a maze and he would never find the exit out of there. He only wanted Dream to be safe and to be happy, maybe even spend the rest of his life with him. But it would never happen and his heart was crushed. 

“Don’t you understand? That’s what they want you to think!” His voice was slightly strained to try and hide the desperation which was seeping through. Even now did Dream not move a single muscle as he looked at him, not even trying to push his hand away. Was he really turning everything off so as to not feel? Wilbur could not blame him if he was, but it was him, it was Wilbur. 

“I was sick and they cured me, it is just like going to the doctor.” 

“Dream please.” He begged, trying to find anything in those eyes. He just needed him and he was not sure on how to deal with this. He was not sure on what he was supposed to say since he usually only hit the people who dared to oppose him and went to prison for a month before getting out again. It was nothing more than that but now- now he could not do that. He would never be able to bring himself to hit Dream, never in his life would he be able to land a hand on the other in an act of violence. 

“You are not sick, this is just your survival instinct. A circus animal will perform to avoid getting hit, that’s what your brain is doing right now. Can’t you see that?” He silently asked and the other still did not move. Wilbur bit his lip while trying to get his shit together and not break down in front of him. He could not hug him so instead he let his hand play with the blond strands once more, trying to reach him.

Maybe if he pulled the right strings he could get him to understand and to see that it was not like he thought it was. If he played his cards right maybe he could help Dream out of his mess and maybe fix something. He might lose him forever again but at least he would have had a taste of him, something new to cling on to since Dream was now in possession of their photo. Had he even looked at it?

He hoped that he had, he hoped that Dream had looked at it and remembered who they used to be and that they could go back if he said the word. He only had to say a word or even look at him and Wilbur would be there to take him back and love him. It would be so easy if he did- but it would not be for Dream. The blond had probably looked at the picture, scoffed, before throwing it away and ignoring it. Or maybe he had not even looked at it at all. 

Dream’s hair was soft to touch and the other’s eyes fluttered slightly as he let his fingers caress him. His mouth fell slightly opened as he truly looked at Wilbur, seeing something else than some random guy trying to torture him. 

“I’d rather pretend than being like them.” He said quietly and Wilbur shook his head. 

“Dream, that’s just the trauma speaking.” 

This time Dream did move, this time he did make a motion and Wilbur felt some sort of hope that he was getting somewhere, that he might make some progress with the other and that something was happening. But Dream only grabbed a hand and led it away from his hair, holding it tightly in the air trying to show that he was the one who was in power here, and that he was the one who carried this. He wanted to scare the other, show that he had no say in the matter and that it was not worth it. 

But Wilbur was determined and now it was his turn to only look at him, showing that he was not just going to lean back and let him leave once again. He was not about to let him walk out or lose him once more just because he could not handle a little bit of fighting. Dream could try all he wanted for now, but Wilbur needed some closure. At least something. 

“What do you know about trauma?” Dream hissed at him, the grip on his hand tightening in a painful manner. Wilbur cringed slightly as he tore his eyes away from Dream’s and looked at his hand, watching it getting crushed by the other who was way stronger than him. It hurt, it hurt a lot and panic was starting to build up as he looked. 

He found himself hearing the blood flow in his ears and his breathing getting heavier. He was not sure what the other was capable of or if he had it in him to hurt him. He probably was fully able to since he was a cop and all and Wilbur was not the straightest man out there, but it was still Dream. They had been closer than anyone else before and they both had at least once felt something for the other. All of that could not have turned into hate, could it? He hoped not, he really hoped not. 

“You do not know a single  _ thing _ about trauma, Wilbur.” His voice was dark and Wilbur could only guess that it was the pain and fear masked as anger speaking. His eyes were dark as he held him, thinking that he knew everything about his life. Why was he acting like this? 

“You have no right to speak to me like that, you have no right to try and convince me that I am some sort of filthy gay among the streets. You do not understand the pain.” 

Wilbur winced slightly as the other let go of him, throwing his hand back to him which almost made him stubble backwards. Wilbur would be lying if he said he was not slightly afraid of the other, being fully aware that Dream could kill him and get away with it. Anyone could kill him and get away with it if they said the right things. But would Dream do it?   
  
The things he had hoped and imagined flashed before his eyes, those times when he imagined those green eyes looking at him with nothing but love and admiration. How he had imagined Dream’s grip on him would be gentle and loving and pulling him into hugs and cuddles. He had wanted to curl up next to him and fall asleep in his arms and feel the other’s chest rising underneath his head. He had hoped for the complete opposite of this and it was terrifying to watch it happen, to see it all unravel in front of him. 

Dream were no longer someone he could go to for comfort and for love, he had gone from being a gentle soul to being someone who could kill him in the matter of seconds. He would never have suspected this to happen or for Dream to turn out this way. The reason he was anyways was probably because of the trauma in which he had been put through. But there were so many more things which he did not know. 

“My parents.” He whimpered as he looked on Dream, those green eyes dark and cold with barely any emotions in them. He had hit a nerve, the electrotherapy had put its claw in him and it was obvious that he felt threatened to have to go through it once more. He was scared to have to go through it again and he was scared for the feelings which he had. He was afraid of himself at this point, and it was probably eating him up from the inside out.

“You killed them, did you not?” He was not sure why Dream thought that he would be capable of killing another human being, but it must be because of all the bar fights which he had been through. Even if he had fought a lot did not mean that he would be able to kill someone, let alone his parents. Wilbur shook his head. 

“No, but my dad wanted me to blame myself for their death. He succeeded.” 

Dream seemed to be slightly more interested now as he kept his mouth shut and only stood straight up while looking at him trying to seem like he was the taller one between them. It was working slightly, he was stronger, but Wilbur still managed to be the taller one. Dream was acting out and it was quite scary, but he understood why and he was not going to bow down in front of him for it. 

“I told them about you and me.” He continued, trying to be just as serious as the others were. “Before I knew it, my mother was dead in her bed and my dad was hovering over her with a knife.” Dream flinched slightly at the words, almost as if he was not able to believe them or to think that something like that could have happened. 

In his world, maybe he thought that Wilbur had lived without any trauma and that was his own fault that he had gotten into all of the problems which he had. Maybe he thought that Wilbur was just the biggest asshole out there and that he craved to be a criminal on the run. He could not be further from the truth and in reality, he was actually slightly hurt that Dream would even think such a thing about him. 

“He killed himself, made damn sure that I knew it was because of me. The bastard even made me put my hands on his as he shoved the knife into his guts.” 

The air around them felt heavy and dark, almost as if all the oxygen in the room had left them to stand there and fight on their own. Dream seemed to be holding his breath and his mouth was in a thin line as he looked at Wilbur, trying to take in every word which he had just heard. He could not believe it, how was it even possible?

“And still you believe that feeling attraction towards men is the way to go? Even after your parents killed themselves in shame?” It was heartless, even Dream knew that. There were slight tips of guilt in the way he stood and he knew Dream was not out to hurt him and that it hurt him as well to say the words, but it did not mean that it made it feel easier to swallow them and ignore them. 

They stung in his brain and teased him, reminding him about the night and the things which he had done in pure hatred of himself. He had blamed himself for it for such a long time, sometimes he still even did. There was nothing wrong with it and he knew, but it did not stop the guilt feelings from eating him up from the inside out. 

“What’s wrong with loving and caring for someone who can consent and feel the same way? What is wrong with that, Dream?” The other shook his head and took one step forward, placing one hand on Wilbur’s chest before pushing him onto the wall with great force. He stumbled into it, his back hitting against the wall and making him lose the air which had been resting inside of his lungs. 

He painfully gasped for air as Dream pinned him down, making sure that he felt threatened by him and intimidated. Dream looked pissed, he looked mad as he stared at him. His eyes were narrowed and he swore that he could feel a faint touch from the other’s breath against his skin. It was warm and if the situation had been different, he would not have felt as scared as he did right now. He barely even dared to look at the other not wanting to get hit by him. 

“You listen here, Will.” Dream said quietly against him, making the words hang in the air. Wilbur felt his guts twist and turn and his heart beat faster. He also felt quite hot as if it had suddenly turned summer in the matter of seconds. He guessed that it was just for Dream suddenly having him against a wall threatening him silently. He wished he could get out of this situation or turn it around, but for some reason his body did not seem to move. 

No matter how much he tried he could not get himself to move. He felt frozen in place as Dream hovered against him and there was nothing he could do to try and fix it. In some sick way he liked it- he liked that he was slowly getting underneath the other’s skin and that he was finally getting a reaction out of him. Maybe it was a step forward, it hopefully was. He just had to keep it up for a while more, just a few more minutes and maybe he could make the other give up or give in. 

“I am not like that, it’s not right. No matter what your little brain thinks, it is wrong and all of these things happening just proves it. Why is that so hard for you to see?” Behind those eyes was a scared boy. 

Behind those eyes was a boy who liked to play in the forest with his best friend and liked to love and care for others. Behind that mask was someone else and Dream was slowly starting to show it, the desperation and the past pain was letting him in and Wilbur was getting hope. He did not like that the other was in pain, but if he managed to get his walls down he could rebuild it and make him understand. He could release him from this prison of hate. 

“Who were I to you?” Wilbur whispered. Dream shook his head. 

  
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”   
  
“Did I mean anything special? Did you think of me when you left?” 

He finally managed to pull himself together enough to raise his hand and go for another attempt to cup his cheek, gently rubbing his thumb over him to try and maybe pull him back to when they were kids. He tried to be gentle to show him that he was safe and that it was him, it was still the boy in the woods. He was trying his best to remind him and to take him back and show him. He was no longer sure on what he was supposed to do or how to do it. He just moved on instinct, not that he knew from the beginning anyways. 

Dream looked at him and those eyes softened up, those green eyes got their color back and no longer did they seem to have a shadow over them. His whole body was tense, that much was clear. Wilbur glanced down at him, swallowing and trying to keep himself calm. His hair was covering his sight slightly since it was falling over his face but he was trying to ignore it, slowly feeling more aware about how they were standing and how close they were. 

“I thought about you at least, I missed you.” He whispered and the other raised an eyebrow as to question it, but Wilbur put his thumb over his lips to make sure he did not open his mouth to ask any questions. Dream looked taken aback but he did not try to say anything at least, neither did he move. 

“I would never hurt you. I have longed for you the day you left.” He explained and the other kept listening to him carefully, taking in every word and swallowing them up. He looked confused but at least he seemed to be calming down from before as he had his old best friend against the wall talking to him. He was confused and lost and it was pretty clear that he too was scared, scared because of the things which had happened and the things which had been done to him. But even so he stood his ground. The one thing he was good at. 

“I loved you back then, you know? I was too young to understand.” Dream looked like he was ready to fight back, but Wilbur shot him one glare and the other decided to stay quiet and listen to the end of it, although he seemed to be pretty annoyed. He was slowly relaxing however which was good news. He was no longer ready to throw a fit. 

“How is that wrong? Dream why is it so wrong? It’s no different than the rest, there is no different.” His other hand reached over to cup his other cheek, now holding his face in his hands while looking at him. He gently moved his fingers over his cheeks as to show affection and that he meant every word which he was saying. 

“If it is so wrong, who cares? It is none of their business.” Wilbur spoke quietly and he felt himself losing it in the other, looking at him and wishing he could take it one step closer. He was near and Dream was with him, his heart was beating and begging him to do something more. His eyes were threatening to water up since he had been longing for this for so many years. 

He had lost count on how many years he had longed to hold him and to be near him, even if the situation was fucked. Dream looked confused and hurt and troubled, almost as if he was at war with himself inside of his head. He looked conflicted as his eyes scanned the other and slowly let himself give in to the touch. He tilted his head slightly. 

“I understand the trauma, I have it too. But please Dream…” He was holding his breath, and the room around him had since long disappeared around them. It was just them now, it was only them together in a simple room in the town which they had met in and the town they had somehow grown up in. It probably meant nothing to anyone else but to them, to them it was the most special place in the world and they would not want to be anywhere else than here. It was their safe space. 

“It’s not dangerous as long as I am with you, no harm will be done to you I promise.” 

Dream looked up at him and the other smiled, wiping away the tears which had started to fall down his cheeks. He was scared, he looked very scared. Never would he have imagined seeing the other like this, so terrified after being put through years of torture for something which was not even wrong. He had built up walls for so long and there had been no one to hold him or to tell him that he was going to be alright. 

Dream had always been an emotional guy, he had always liked being close to people he cared for and he liked to express himself while being with others. He had been having to hide that side of him while getting shocked over and over, trying to get the homosexuality out of him as if it was a disease. It had taken a toll on him, it had almost killed him. And here his old friend was. 

His old friend who had been the trigger in it all, his best friend who had been the cause as to why he had gone through this whole process and had been his start. Wilbur was the reason he knew and Wilbur was the reason his parents had thrown him into that room the minute he turned eighteen. The day he was old enough, they had been quick to put him in that chair strapped down to endure immense pain to fix him. He would never forget the day he turned eighteen. 

But now he was promised safety, and even though he felt scared and could not fully trust him it was still Wilbur. It was still the kid he loved and it seemed like he had not changed too much over time. It was still him, it was still him there taking care of him and being by his side. It was too much to handle and Dream tried to blink to keep himself from falling to the floor or passing out from getting too overwhelmed. 

“Wilbur it does not work like that, it is wrong.” This time he had to force his words out, trying to keep onto them as if they were the ones who would keep him safe. 

“Dream, look at me.” The other hesitated before tilting his head up, looking at Wilbur who was gently smiling at him. The same smile which he had when he was a child and the same smile he had given him back then. It was like a reassurance to him and even if every nerve inside of him was screaming, he kept still. 

“Does this feel wrong?”

The words came out as a whisper before he pulled the other closer to him, gently placing his lips over the blond’s. They were soft to touch and they were slightly salty from the tears which had fallen, tears which had not been wiped away in time before hitting them. Even so the kiss was sweet even if it was just a gentle touch, just a gentle touch against him. 

Dream did not move, he did not flinch and he did not stop him. Instead he stood frozen like a statue, his eyes wide open as he felt the other move closer and leave a small peck on his lips. It only lasted for two seconds, but it felt like a lifetime before Wilbur pulled away to look at the other’s expression. 

Neither said a word, and Wilbur felt panic rise within him. He had fucked up so badly, he had pushed the other quicker than he was supposed to and had now fucked up every step which he had taken. They would be back on square one, they would never be able to recover from this and who knows how much Dream would beat himself up for this. 

He had gone too far. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to cosplay Wilbur but like,, make it this au. It sounds really bad I know but i really want to act out the scenes just because it would be fun. Although im not sure if that would be quite stuck up or not,,,,,
> 
> I also have a question, do people read this on mobile or computer? It looks way better on mobile,,, 
> 
> Dont forget to leave comments! I know i repeat myself quite a lot but they truly do help and i find it very interesting to hear everyones thought about this fic. It is what helps me pull it all together lmao.
> 
> Have a good night/day! take care of yourself <3


	15. Thirteen Sad Farewells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their fates meets their end, and it is time to say goodbye. Although one of them takes it harder than the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to a new chapter!  
> Im sorry it took another day to upload, ive had mid terms all week and it has been a mess,, I could not bring myself to write and so I grabbed my computer at 12 am. 
> 
> I want to put a small warning on this chapter- it does contain panic attacks so if that is triggering, please skip over this chapter. Do not put yourself out there. Stay safe and I love you all. 
> 
> Also thank you all so very much for everything. Seeing comments on tiktok or having other fics has made my entire world. You have no idea how grateful I am to have such amazing people reading this and being there, I am forever thankful and you all deserve more than the world. Thank you <3
> 
> Also the playlist- i update it from time to time. So if you want to check it out please do! The song which I made Wilbur play in the bar is for example added in there. Although there is no English cover as far as I know- I hope that the Scandinavian language can be pleasing though!
> 
> I hope you can all enjoy the chapter! I am thinking that there is only one or two chapters left- thank you for being on thi journey with me.

There was no saying in what Dream was thinking at the moment, his face was blank and pale as the blood retreated from his cheeks and left him looking like a ghost. His eyes were empty but confused as he looked at Wilbur who was cupping his face and trying to understand what it was the other was thinking and what was going on inside of his head. He did not move and his eyes seemed to be dull as he looked at them, silently begging the other to say something or do something. 

In a perfect life or in a movie, Dream would not have hesitated to kiss him back or pull him close or say something about it. In a perfect life Dream would have smiled and maybe even have felt the same way back- loving him just like Wilbur loved him. He would have missed him just as much as he had missed the other and they could be together or even run away if Dream was up for that. The thing is- this is not a perfect life or some sort of movie you could go and watch together with your friends on a saturday evening. This is reality.

Reality will never be what you imagined or promise itself to be a fairytale, it's cold, dark and empty- leaving no promises or anything to help you warm up. It leaves you out in the night in the middle of the forest with only the moon as company as you try to find yourself back home. He of all people should know this, he of all people should have already learned to accept that this is what life was and there were no fairytale endings. The only ending there is, is the grave- to end up dead and buried underground all alone. 

So why had he still hoped? Why the hell had he still done such a stupid thing thinking that everything would turn out perfect and just right? Everything which had happened lately just proved that life really liked to fuck around and kick some butt just because it could. Never would anything get handed to you and never would things turn out just the way you wanted to. It was sick and horrible and Wilbur wished he could take it all back- rewind time and never end up doing it. Maybe in the future there would be time machines, he wished that they existed already. 

Suddenly it seemed like Dream awoke from his shock, pushing the other as far away from him as he could with the most disgusted look to ever exist on his face. His muscles were tense and he looked like he had just witnessed someone murdering his whole family, eyes staring blankly at the other as lowered his chin slightly. The glare buried itself into Wilbur and he knew he had overstepped a line, he knew he had just once again fucked it all up again and gone too far. He had been hoping and wishing for too much and tried taking things faster than he was supposed to. This was his fault, he should never have done it. 

Dream was breathing heavily while making sure that his old friend kept distance between them, not wanting him to get any closer than he had to. The brunet could not help but to wonder what he was feeling and what he was thinking, if it was the electrotherapy kicking in and doing its job or if it was just a normal response from getting kissed by someone you did not want to kiss. 

Maybe he had read too far into things, maybe it had been one-sided all along and those promises they had made as children had just been something normal kids did. Maybe it had not meant anything and maybe Dream really did not love him the same way he loved him. The necklace, the picture, the promise… It must have all been something done in the pure mindset of a child and nothing more. He must have been the one pushing them, he must have been the one forcing Dream. He was a horrible person. 

Dream did not feel anything towards him back, that much was at least obvious. The way he pushed him away and pulled back, the way his eyes twitched and the was looking at him was all signs of disgust and that he had not wanted to do anything like that- it was all proof that he had no feelings for the brunet and that Wilbur had been living in his head for way too long and made up a perfect life for himself. He had imagined a life he never could have had and the truth was crashing down on him. 

He felt like he was suffocating, his words and his doings were stuck in his throat and choking him, killing him slowly. It was such a horrifying feeling, choking on everything you had ever done and every thought which had been filling your head for the past years. Those thoughts which had kept your hope up and those thoughts which had previously kept his heart beating so quickly had suddenly turned into the very thing which would kill him. At least that is what this whole thing felt like and Wilbur was not enjoying it no matter how big of a masochist he seemed to be. 

He had put himself here, he had no one else to blame but himself for the things he had done and for fucking this whole thing up. He could have had Dream if he had just kept this whole thing to himself- if not as a lover then maybe as a friend once again. That is all that he wanted, to be by his side once more and fight the world together. He wanted him back, he wanted them back. But now it was too late and there was no going back. He would have to face this himself and at this point, probably alone. 

“What the acutal fuck, is wrong with you?” Dream spat out the words as he lifted his arms towards his chest as if he was trying to protect himself, almost looking like someone had suddenly pulled a knife which was pointing at him. It was sad to watch and Wilbur was not sure how to take it or what to say. Dream was in no danger but he looked like his whole life had suddenly gotten threatened. The blond strands fell over his cheeks and covered his eyes slightly- those eyes which looked like they were filling up with tears since they almost looked like windows when he narrowed his eyes. Wilbur swallowed. 

He was not sure what was wrong with him, he was not sure when he had turned into this kind of creep who kept people tied up in his house and later kissed them out of nowhere. He had not even asked if he could, he had just done it like those horrible people on the street does. He was horrible and disgusting and he had invaded on Dream, the one person he loved more than anything and anyone else. The boy which haunted his mind everyday and kept him awake at night.

There were so many things which were wrong with him that he was no longer sure which things were right- he was not sure if he even was a good person. He had done nothing but to follow the other and act like a creep towards him. Why was he even doing this? Why was he trying so hard to get things from the other and force his feelings out? Dream was not himself anymore. He was chasing a shadow of what used to be and one day it would be the end of him if he kept this up. Maybe it was already too late anyways. 

Wilbur took a step back and tried to keep his breathing normal, letting the air fill his lungs even if it suddenly felt like it had turned into a chore. He had to remain calm and he had to keep himself together as to not make this whole situation even worse- although he was not sure if he could fuck up more than he already had. Would they ever recover from this? Wilbur could only guess not and that Dream would turn on his heel and leave him forever now. 

Maybe it was for the best if Dream just left and never returned, maybe it would be best to let go and to try and focus on his goal of legalising marriage between same sex couples and to end the vioelence against people who did not share the typical white look. He would have to stop chasing his own tail and pull himself together from this stupid crap and stop acting like he was a teenage girl with a crush on some sort of celebrity. He was not going to be the guy who acted like a creep or tended to be a tint too obsessive. 

He was not a bad guy, or at least he believed himself to be a good man. He tried his best to be there for his friends, he tried his best to be someone for Tommy. He tried to get better from his past choices and he really did try to become someone which his parents could have been proud of. He wanted to make them proud one day even if his heart swayed in ways they did not fully approve of. He hoped that if they were still alive they would hold him and tell him that he was someone they were proud over and that he was a good son. But he knew that would never happen. 

Because these actions were the ones which had led to his father cutting his mother up before himself forcing that knife into his guts. Why had he still not learned that he should not put this all up on display? Why had he yet to learn that these things killed people and hurt others in ways which could not be redeemed. After all these years he was still that little boy holding on to something which he believed to be pure- but would in reality end up killing them. 

“Dream I am so sorry.” He whispered but the other just shook his head, biting down on his lip and looking more angry now. The disgust and the shock was taking the form of something else, something which looked like a monster growing inside of him. It was frightening him and Wilbur wanted to run away and just not look back. But he could not do that- he had to face the consequences of his own actions even if it so hurt.

There were no excuses for this and he himself had to fix this. This was not like a normal scenario he could make up in his head and fix. This was not like those thoughts where he imagined that they would be able to laugh it off or fall into each other's arms once they had calmed down from their fighting. This was not like those thoughts and he cursed himself for building up false hope for so long. In the end it did no good and it only caused him more pain. There was so much pain and he wanted it to all just stop. 

“No, Wilbur. I do not even recognize you anymore. Who the hell are you? What have you become?” Every word stung and every word knocked him more and more to the ground. He wanted to cover his ears and not listen to him, he wanted to scream and he wanted to rip his heart out for feeling this way. His fingers were stinging as if he had them in cold water- irritating him and making him feel even more anxious since he was no longer the one in control of what he was feeling. 

He hated to not be the one in control- it was scary and he was not sure on what he would end up doing and he felt so lost. He knew that he was not the best out there judging by the things which he had done but that had all been happening when the pain was the one in control. He knew that it was a horrible excuse but if he had been in the same situation now he would probably not have lit fire by the school and he would not have been picking fights with the drunk men littering the streets. 

“I don’t know Dream, I really don’t know anymore.” His voice was slightly darker than it used and it sounded like he had suddenly caught a cold. The lump in his throat was hurting him so much that it even got troublesome to try and speak now. He knew he was falling into the dark slowly and that Dream was once again going to leave him with a broken heart which would spend years with no end trying to heal back. 

As long as Tommy did not see this, as long as the kid was not listening to this or saw him so broken things would be fine. As long as the kid and his best friend was safe things would be best. He did not wish his own life upon the other boy, he really did not want Tommy being the adult in the household and between them. Tommy did not deserve to try and be the therapist or the one having to fend for himself and others like he had used to do. Tommy deserved someone who could take care of him and someone who did not fail him. He had to be strong for him if he could not be strong for himself. 

He wanted to be like Eret’s mom, he wanted to be the one taking him in and making sure he was well and longed for nothing. He had never let her in and he always made sure to hide the bruises and force his friend to not say a single word of the things which he had done. However, he hoped that Tommy would tell him if he ever got in trouble or felt bad about something. He wanted to do something good in his life and he believed that good to be Tommy. 

Tommy had such a strong character and he always kept his high up. He was there for everyone even if he could seem to be very full of himself at times. He was the good in this world and never once had he hesitated to pull out his flags or fight the injustice in this world. He deserved so much more than Wilbur could ever offer him, so he had to stay strong for him. Dream was beating him down and he would not let the boy he considered his younger brother witness it. 

“You’re sick, Wilbur. Do you know how wrong that was? Do you know what they do to people like you? Because let me tell you I know very damn well.” The words were hissed out and Wilbur had to hug himself, embracing himself and holding his stomach to try and stop the burning inside of him from escaping. It felt like someone had decided to burn him from the inside out or drown him with acid. It hurt and he wanted it to just stop. His mind was getting clouded because of it and he felt himself slowly fading into the pain. But he could not lose himself, not yet. 

“My father blames me for their deaths, you don’t need to remind me, Dream.” It was almost a begging for the other to stop, to not guilt trip him more than he already had done to himself. He had spent so many years of killing himself over their death and he did not Dream twisting the knife even more. He could not take it, he really could not take it. 

“Why are you even doing this, then? Why did that small brain of yours decide to go against all of this and kiss me?” The blond pulled the strands away from his face and let them rest behind his ear, probably needing to put them up in a tie like he used to when he was a kid. He wondered if the other was trying to get his length back or if he was just lazy and had no time for trying to trim it back to short. Although Wilbur thought of him as very attractive with his hair slightly longer, it looked more personal and it complimented his facial structure. It made him feel like he was more than one in the crowd since he did not look like everyone else out there. 

But no matter what Dream would always be the most beautiful out there to him, he would always be his special friend and he would always be the one Wilbur longed for. No matter if he cut it all off or did something crazy he would always be the best looking out there. That thought alone made him smile as he looked at the other. It was too late, but at least Dream was awhile and doing well in life. That’s all that mattered, Dream being alive and well. One day maybe he would even find happiness in this dark world.

“Isn’t it obvious?” His words were clearer now and Dream looked like he took a mental note of it. “You were my happiness and my reason in this world. You were my saviour and my friend.”   
  
Dream shook his head as he looked at him, almost as if he was not understanding a single word which the other was saying. He looked confused but still mad- not understanding what was going on or where Wilbur was trying to go with this. It was all melting together and he could not see a pattern in it. The brunet on the other hand only smiled and tried to keep himself strong in front of the other and not let it show how weak he actually was, to not show the anxiety attack which was just lurking underneath his skin. 

“I loved you, God knows how I loved the boy with the green eyes who held my hand and always stood on the rocks with me. Only God knows that I still do, that I still love the boy with the fiery smile and blond hair which flows in the wind.” He explained and the other only stared at him, not knowing what to say or how to respond to the words which the male in front of him was speaking. 

  
Wilbur had lost all hope, he felt like it was all too late so what did it matter saying it? What did it matter spilling his words if they would get drowned the minute the other leaves the door? After tonight they would no longer hold any meaning and so it was best to just let them fly in the air around them and let them fall to the ground on their own. No longer would they matter and no longer would they hold any meaning. It was too late, he had ruined it and there was no saving them. He had to learn to accept the truth and he had to learn that it was better to move on than to hold on to something which was dead. 

Because that is what this was, it was all dead. Once upon a time they had been a strong flower, maybe a sunflower one. They stood tall and strong and showed themselves up as just that, strong. But now it was withering away and the ones yellow strong petals had fallen off and were now on the ground, dead. They were dead and there was no revving them. He should learn to accept it and so he smiled sadly, ignoring the ache in his heart. 

“Wilbur, I think it’s time for me to leave.” 

Wilbur felt his heart stopped, he thought that he had built his walls up enough for this and he thought he had prepared himself for this. But this only proved that he had not and now he felt naked and exposed as his emotions slowly filled him up again. The numb feeling he had tried to embrace was fading away and the burning pain was once again coming up to take its place. It was hungry and it had yet to feast on him. 

  
Dream was really leaving now, for real. He would be gone and he would never return to him. He would never be able to look at him now that his feelings were on the table and out for him to look at. Dream saw him and he saw everything about him and he was not going to accept it. Dream knew and he had crushed every last hope of ever feeling something similar. This was the end chapter for them and their book would be thrown into the fire the moment Dream left this room. They would never be friends or lovers. They would never be anything and their pasts would fall into the fire which roared inside of them. 

He had never been good with endings, trying to end a song was hard and reading the last chapter of a book was something he had some incredibly hard times with. He had no idea how many last chapters and last lines there were surrounding him since he really could not finish them. 

Why was it like that? Why was it so hard to try and finish things and get that ending? Wilbur was not sure, all he knew was that it was painful and that he did not like endings. He tried to stay away from them as much as possible to save himself even if it was a good ending. A part of him wished there were no endings and that stories and songs could go on forever and that you could always return to them whenever you wanted. He wished he could return to the happiness and joy of being a part of things- to feel that spark of excitement and curiosity which he felt when he was reading or writing his songs. 

Endings were the worst and now he was forced to sit through one of the worst endings out there. He no longer felt alive and he was not sure if his own body was his anymore, it felt like his mind and his body were two seperate things and it was scary. Maybe his brain was trying to dissociate itself so as to not feel the pain and to save itself from the breaking of his heart. Wilbur was not sure, all he knew was that it felt like he was drowning and that he was surrounded by cold water. 

“Goodbye, Dream.” He whispered as the other dug in his pocket, throwing up the picture which Wilbur had given to him previously. 

He watched him curiosity as the other stared at him with a blank expression, holding the picture for him to see before taking it into both of his hands and destroying it, folding it harshly into a ball without letting his eyes stray away from the other. 

Wilbur watched in pure agony as the one thing which he had held on to for so many years got crumbled into a ball in front of him, the picture slowly losing its shape and the shades of grey melting into each other as it folded itself. He wanted to scream, he tried to scream but instead only a whine escaped him as he stared at it. His eyes stung as the tears filled them up and spilled over, his whole world crumbling together just like the piece of paper in front of him did. 

Dream was showing no emotions as he did it, not caring that he was destroying the last picture of them together as to replicate that this was the end for them both. He looked dead on the inside as he threw it at Wilbur without a word, turning around towards the door as his old friend fell to the ground trying to reach over for it and bring close to his chest. 

He tried to undo the damage, he tried to smooth it out but all the wrinkles in it were making it impossible to see their faces and to even tell what the picture was off. He could no longer see Dream’s face from when he was a kid and those eyes and that smile had been wiped away by the man itself and thrown away as if it was trash. It hurt, and Wilbur broke down. 

Wilbur hugged it to his chest, placing it against himself before crawling to lean against the wall as his first cry broke out. It was strange to hear those sounds come from him, that cry out in pain as he hugged the picture to himself desperately trying to cling on to what used to be and what had been the thing keeping him alive throughout the years. The piece of paper with ink which had been his hope had been destroyed by the man he had wanted and longed for his whole life, the hope which the paper held had gotten destroyed by itself. 

It was sad and pathetic, Wilbur knew that much. He had tried so hard to to let it all go and to not hold on to it anymore but it had all been lies. He had tried so hard and in the end he had still managed to fail and this was all proof of it. He was a pathetic person who hoped for too much and had abandonment issues. He was no one, he meant nothing and this was all his fault anyways. He should not have been hoping for this much and he should not have been wanting this much from another man. 

Dream’s eyes were strong inside of his chest as the tears ran down his cheeks and gasped for air. He was barely even aware that he was hyperventilating and the air which he got into his lungs was used up to let out cries as if he was an animal lying wounded in the forest. Everything hurt and everything was burning. It felt like there was no way out of this and that this was the end, this was the end of everything. 

The picture laid against his chest as if it was the one thing which would heal him when it was the one thing which had been the cause of his breaking. Dream had once again broken his heart and the pieces laid around like a broken mirror. It felt horrible and he did not know where to go, he just wanted it all to end, why could it just not end? All those nights where he could not have fallen asleep, all those daydreams and all those prayers had been for nothing, his parents death had been for nothing.

He was shaking, he was lying on the floor curled up and shaking trying to keep himself quiet while failing. The sobs were escaping him and he had no control over them anymore. He believed that he had been stronger than this, that he was stronger than to lose it over a simple boy. This was not him, but even so he was lying on the floor of the house which he had spent lots of his time in together with his friends. 

Suddenly there were loud footsteps echoing through the hallways outside of the room, and the door which Wilbur had not even noticed had been closed suddenly flew open and there stood Tommy, panic written over his face as he found the man he looked up to shaking and crying on the floor. His face was pale but written with worry, quickly hurrying over to his elder brother who turned his eyes to look at him. 

In one way he was happy that someone was here and that someone still cared for him and that he did not have to be alone through this, but on the other hand he was scared to death that Tommy had found him. He was scared that Tommy was the one who had heard his broken cries and that the younger boy was the one who had come to aid him and to be there for him.

“Wilbur!” His voice broke before hurrying to sit down by the other, not wasting a single second to try and hurry to let his arms fall over his elder brother. Tommy was by his side and letting his arms hold on to him and Wilbur cried harder, letting the sobs escape him as he kept on clutching on to the picture for dear life. The picture which was ruined. 

His arms were crossed over his chest and Tommy was rubbing on his back softly, trying to help him and to maybe even get him to calm down. He was not sure on what to do and his eyes studied the other as he tried to think of anything, anything to maybe help his friend who he viewed as family. But no matter what he did Wilbur did not stop gasping for air and he did not stop shaking. 

The anxiety and the panic had overtaken him and the damage which Dream had done seemed to have no end to itself. Tommy was not even sure what had gone wrong- he was sure that this had been the perfect idea and that it would fix the two up and that they could finally just come together and be happy once more. But something must have gone wrong since Dream was gone and Wilbur was crying and scratching at himself, slowly losing himself in the pain which was overtaking his body and his brain. 

He had never seen Wilbur, and he never would have guessed that this is what Wilbur had dealt with behind closed doors. He had no idea that there had been something so heavy on his shoulder and that the things he had kept hidden meant this much to him. He had guessed that it must just have been something from his family or that he had done something wrong back in his younger years. He had no idea that there was a person out there which the brunet longed for and that the brunet wanted to come back to. 

He never knew Wilbur felt so strongly for someone, sure he loved his friends and his family but this must be something else. This dated so far back that Tommy was not even sure that the other knew about it. He could guess that Eret and Nikki were suspicious or at least knew something about this whole ordeal since he had seen Eret go in and out of his room a few times and that Nikki glanced over towards him with worry in her eyes. But if they knew the whole truth, the boy was not sure. 

“Listen to me, Wilbur!” He begged as he tried to change up from his previous attempt. Instead of sitting next to him he moved to sit in front of him and grab his hands, but the other refused and shook his head as he tightened his grip on the crumbled piece of paper which was held against his chest. 

Tommy had not even noticed the paper before and now it was raising a few questions inside of his head. It was obviously destroyed since it looked like the papers which Wilbur threw away when he had dabbled bad song ideas on them. It looked like it had gone through hell and he was not even sure what it was. He could see a few marks of black ink here and there though if he looked close enough, but he could not make out what it said or what it was supposed to look like. 

Tommy was on his knees stretching his arms out and putting his hands on the other man’s shoulders, trying anything to wake him up from the panic which had overtaken him. Wilbur barely even glanced at him and kept his head tilted down, letting the brown chocolate curls fall over his eyes and hide away those glossy tears he knew was hiding there. He could see the stains and he could see the small water drops falling one by one towards the ground as he cried. 

He could not remember seeing Wilbur cry one single time, he had no memory of him ever crying which made him wonder if he had been hiding it away or if he was truly heartbroken this time. It made him realize that there was so much to the other man which he was not aware of and Tommy had to make sure to swallow his questions and his worry and try to focus on getting the other to calm down once again. He had to do his best since Eret and Nikki were out for a walk and Phil was still at work. Floris would be staying with a couple of friends and Tubbo was in their room reading up on his books. It was just him there. 

“Wilbur look at me!” He begged and the other kept shaking his head and mumbling ‘no’ over and over again, not wanting the other to see him. He wanted to protect Tommy from this and even so, he couldn’t. He had failed him, he had truly failed him this time and the guilt was eating away at him together with the pain of knowing that Dream saw him as nothing more than thrown away trash. He meant nothing to him and he would never mean anything to him. It was all over, those years had gone to waste. 

He was losing himself and it took no genius to see it. Tommy could even see it clear as day as he tried to make the other look at him, putting his hand against his cheek and getting closer to show him that he was safe and that he was there. His cheeks were wet to touch and he barely even wanted to know how much the other had been crying or how long he had been curled up like this. Had he cried like this in front of Dream or had he been able to keep himself together? Tommy was not sure. 

He forced Wilbur to look up and he was quick to push those locks away as he looked at him. His eyes were red and puffy and still filled with tears. There were stains all over his cheeks and the tears were still running. His lip was also slightly bleeding from biting down on it too hard trying to keep himself quiet and to calm himself. It was heartbreaking to see as Wilbur was breaking down in front of him and he wished that he could pull him together as fast as possible. He did not want the other to experience a second longer of the pain he seemed to be going through. 

“I am here, Wilbur. You’re okay and I love you, alright?” He tried, doing his best to get through the other who was still clutching on to the picture. It was sad to watch and Tommy wished he could burn it and that he could hurt Dream just the way he had hurt Wilbur. He wanted to hurt him just as bad and suddenly he wished that he had hit him a lot harder in the head. Dream deserved so much pain and he was going to pay for all of this. 

Wilbur leaned into the other’s touch and tried to find himself some comfort in it. He wished that things were different, he was supposed to be there for Tommy and not the other way around. He was such a bad example for him and he was such a bad brother for crying like this in front of him. Tommy deserved so much better and it was selfish to let himself find comfort in the boy he considered his little brother. But even so, having him close made him feel slightly better. 

Tommy gently stroked away the tears with his thumb, watching as Wilbur slowly stopped shaking and only trembled. He was twitching every now and then but at least he was not hyperventilating anymore. He was not sure what it was he was doing but Tommy kept sitting there close by, gently speaking to him and gently keeping small touches. 

“I’m here, Will.” He said quietly and the other nodded, finally giving him some sort of response which made the other smile. He was still scared and he felt so lost but he decided to swallow it for now. Wilbur needed him and he would do anything he could to try and make sure he was okay once more. He would do anything in his power even if it was just being there or helping him breathe normally. Wilbur deserved that much at least, even more. But it was not like they taught you things like these in school. 

Tommy shifted slightly and put his hand over Wilbur’s arm, trying to silently ask him if he could take the paper which he was clutching on to. But the other looked like he was going to start panic once more as he switched his body away from the other and shaking his head. 

“Don’t.” He whispered between his sobs, and the other nodded even if he was not satisfied by the other. He wanted to take it away and see what it was since maybe it could help him understand- he was completely in the dark in this and he wished he knew more so that he could help him. He was not Eret who always seemed to know what to do when it came to Wilbur, and he was not Phil who was the wise between them and had the most life experience as he made sure they were all safe and well inside of these walls. 

Tommy sat beside him once more and leaned his head on the other’s shoulder, letting his hand rest on the brunet’s knee as to try and bring him some sort of comfort. It was all that he could offer and he hoped and prayed that it would be enough to help him calm down. He had never once seen anyone experience pain like this- at least not what he could remember. And so he sat by his side, trying to comfort the other as he slowly calmed down. 

Wilbur’s body stopped trembling after a while, but Tommy guessed that it must have at least taken half an hour as he leaned against his shoulder and gently rubbed on his knee. It was soft and the room was quiet besides the small sobs escaping the larger male. They were calming down and Tommy was not sure if it was because he was actually calming down or if it was because he was too exhausted to even keep on crying. 

Wilbur leaned his head against the other and Tommy swallowed the lump in his throat. He too wanted to cry, the pain of seeing his brother like this pained him and he felt close to useless trying to help him calm down. But he must have done something since the other was starting to fall limb besides him, leaning his head against the younger and staring towards the other end of the room. 

He did not say a word and for now Tommy decided to accept it. He was not about to push him or try and make him talk after all of that. He knew that much- and for now he was just going to let the other rest. He really needed it after all of this, and he was going to do his best and sit there with him until he wanted to stand up again. Eret should be home any minute now, maybe he could help him force something for the other to eat or to drink. He must be dehydrated from all of that crying and he did not even want to imagine the headache he must be feeling. 

“I’m always here, Will. You can trust me, and I am so sorry.” He whispered out into the air between them. The air which felt like it was still and that he could feel it weighing them down. It would have been calm if it wasn’t too much guilt and questions filling the void silently. It was almost deafening and heavy, as if they were in a cave or underneath water. 

He looked over to see the other. Wilbur was just laying his head against Tommy’s shoulder and staring with empty eyes towards the other end of the room. He almost looked like he was dead as his eyes stayed open and only looked in front of him. The tears were still running even if he had stopped sobbing and shaking. He looked so broken, he looked like he had lost all hope and that he had given up on life. 

He did not look like himself and no matter how much he tried, Tommy could not see the man who played on the guitar or sneaked out in the middle of the night to paint on the walls of the police station with him. It was scaring him and he wanted to shake him and scream at him to come back to him, that his brother should come back and be by his side. It felt like he was watching him slowly die besides because of his broken heart. 

The door creaked and Tommy looked up to see Eret peeking his head inside and seeing the two boys on the floor. He slowly made his way inside and moved towards them without saying a single word, his eyes switching between looking at Tommy and Wilbur. Tubbo must have heard them and informed him that there was something going on in there. He had not noticed his best friend earlier and he guessed that he had been too full of helping Wilbur calm down. There was no way Eret just knew, Tubbo is smart, he must have told him. 

Eret sat down in front of Wilbur and placed his hand on the underside of his chin, on the side of his neck. It made Wilbur look up at him, meeting his eyes. His own were still dull and running with dry tears which fell slowly. Eret did not say a word before trying to pull the other up, helping him to get to his feet while the other kept quiet and said nothing to complain. 

Wilbur was heavy and Eret had to help him stand up, putting his arm around the other to make sure he did not fall before trying to brush him off and cleaning him up from all the crying. While standing up however, the piece of paper he had been clutching fell to the ground like a leaf leaving its branch. 

Wilbur did not seem to notice, but it awoke Tommy’s interest as he reached over to grab a hold of it. Eret did not seem to notice him and neither did Wilbur. Although Wilbur seemed to be in a state where he noticed nothing around him and did not understand anything which was happening around him. He had lost himself and was stuck inside of his head which was failing him, his heart beating lonely trying to make sure that he was still aware that he was alive. Eret led him to a chair, carefully making sure the other sat down properly by a little desk. 

Tommy looked at the picture which had been folded, wrinkled to the point where he could barely even tell what the picture was. He could although make out the figure of two people standing relatively close to each other, maybe even hugging he was not sure. Judging by how small they were they could be no older than eight, and one of the boy’s faces was broken away by one of the wrinkles. However, the other boy’s face had managed to escape just fine. 

He had darker hair and his eyes seemed to be very big and his smile was almost deafening. It was pure and filled with joy Tommy had never seen in another person besides Tubbo or Nikki whenever she had just gotten back from being with the girl she loved. He recognized him, and it was not hard to tell that he was looking at Wilbur as a small child. He was slightly dirtied down but he did not seem to mind in the picture as he got embraced by the person on his side. 

Judging by their last encounter, he guessed that the other person was Dream and that this was a picture of them as kids. He wondered if this was the thing Wilbur had kept hidden from him for so long and if this is why had been holding on to it so hard before. It was one of his last happy memories with the other, one last moment of happiness which had been ruined somewhere while fighting. It was sad to watch, and he slowly started to understand why it had meant so much to him and why he had not wanted the other to see it. 

Eret had managed to bring a glass of water, the glass resting on the desk as he reached over to try and give it to Wilbur. But the other did not move and he only glanced at the water before looking away once again, the self hatred and the guilt showing in his eyes. He was broken and Eret bit his lip, although he sighed almost as if this was not the first time. 

It was scary to believe that this was not the first time and he wondered if this was why Wilbur had always refused to tell him about his past. This could not have been the first time something like this had happened and Tommy gulped, trying to ignore the pain and the worry inside of him. This was not about him, he had to keep himself together. 

He turned the picture around and was met by surprise. 

On the other side there were a few numbers and a couple of words written on the back. It was kinda hard to tell, but he did recognize that it was an address and that it was a few numbers written on it. It was probably a time stamp or a number of days written, but he was not sure since it had gotten messed up while being crumbled together. 

At first he believed that it was Wilbur who had written it, but the more he looked at it the more he noticed that it was not Wilbur’s handwriting, it was a little less curvy and the letters were bolder than Wilbur’s soft and messy ones. The address was one he barely recognized, he knew that it was somewhere close since he knew the street and that it was not too far away but the number seemed to be weird. There was no one living in that house, no one had lived in there for a very long time and so he never went there. 

Why was this address written on the back and what did it mean? Was it old or was it something which had been recently added? It looked strange and not as if it had been written by a child so he guessed that it must have been an adult- possibly by someone Wilbur knew. Maybe even Dream, but that would be odd. 

“Eret.” Tommy said softly to wake the others attention and the other male looked up from trying to force Wilbur to drink some water. He was also holding a napkin in his hand trying to wipe away the tears softly from the red cheeks. Wilbur looked like he was about to pass out any second and he really wanted him to be in bed when that happened. Tommy swallowed before looking down on the paper again. 

“Does the Patches-street mean anything?” He asked finally. 

Eret tensed up and his face went pale, staring at the smaller boy when he spoke. He almost even dropped the napkin as he stared at him before glancing down towards the piece of paper he was holding in his hand. Even Wilbur looked up at him, his mouth slightly agape as he too stared at the younger holding the paper in his hand. 

Tommy glanced down at the paper once again and read the street, trying to remember anything about the place and if he had heard any rumors about it or if there were any links between the place and the others. He could not think of any, but on the other hand he had not known about this a month ago and he was not even sure if he knew the whole story behind it. It felt strange, but judging by their strong reactions this was something which was probably very bad or meant something strong. He just hoped it wasn’t too bad. 

His thumb moved over the letters once more before hearing Wilbur throw up the little he had eaten onto the floor beside him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you hopped over the chapter, the most that happened was that Dream decided that enough was enough and threw back their picture although crumbled. Wilbur proceeded to fall into an anxiety/Panic attack which Tommy helped him out of. Although, there is something written on the back of their picture. 
> 
> Don't forget to leave comments! I love to hear your thoughts and they mean a lot. I would never have gotten this far without them all- so thank you all so much. 
> 
> Remember you are all loved, and you all matter. Thank you for being here and remember to take care of yourself!   
> <3 <3 <3 <3 
> 
> If you want the playlist, you can find it here; https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVN1QLip-w2EdJ9mp7RBNRw2t5MJ6oiAZ
> 
> It called "You Caused It" and under the same name as my AO3 account.


	16. Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one.  
> 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone.  
> Setting fire to our insides for fun.  
> To distract our hearts from ever missing them,  
> but I'm forever missing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to the last chapter!
> 
> After this it is in only the epilogue left, and I want to thank you all for being here and for being so supportive! It has been a joy and I am forever grateful to have you here and reading this. It has meant a lot to me, and I hope that this fic will find some joy or spark something inside of others. 
> 
> Every comment, either here or on other social medias has made this possible. Thank you all, I owe so much and I will never be able to thank you enough. 
> 
> I hope you all like the ending and that it somehow manages to make sense, hopefully it will be satisfying!

Never before had getting out of bed been this hard, never before had his whole body and brain locked itself and barely even let him wake up. They all had bad days, days where nothing felt like it carried any meaning and that it was better to just stay in bed. But this felt more than just a bad day, this felt so much worse and it did not feel like something you could just power yourself through. This felt so much worse but the male could barely even bring himself to care as he opened his eyes from his slumber, taking his room in. 

It was not too dark inside and he guessed that it should be around midday since he could see the sun peeking through the sides of his curtains. It felt a lot brighter than it actually was and so he groaned and turned to his other side, closing his eyes to escape the sunlight. It was digging into his head and he wanted nothing else but to turn around and look away from it. He wished he had never woken up and that he could have remained asleep. 

He felt empty inside as he tried to make himself fall back asleep, but no matter how much he tried he could not find himself to shut his brain off and fall back into the soft slumber. It was as if his brain refused and wanted him to suffer, and it was painful as he laid on his side and once again opened his eyes to look towards the wall of his room. It was so quiet, not a single sound filling his ears as his eyes blankly stared at the wall. 

He had not said a single word since yesterday and he had not eaten for soon twenty four hours. On the other hand he did not feel hungry in the slightest, he could not feel hunger at all which was probably concerning. He knew that he had to eat but he really could not bring himself to stand up and go towards the kitchen. He did not want anything so it did not matter, anyways. He could hopefully stay here for a little while longer- just a few more minutes. 

The door to his room opened and in stepped Eret. Wilbur turned his head to face the man whose hair looked to be a complete mess almost as if he had not brushed it for a couple of days. In his hand he had a small bowl which was steaming and the older between them could only guess that he had decided to bring him something to eat. But he did not feel hungry and he hoped that the other would just place the bowl down and later leave. 

But he should know that Eret is better than that; he is not just going to leave the food to get cold and for the other to bring up some lie about why he did not eat it. He looked like he was in pain as he walked closer towards his friend who was lying in his bed just as depressed as he had all those years back. There were so many parallels from then to now and it was getting worrying for Eret who really did not want his friend to fall back into bad habits which he had before. 

He remembered how Wilbur would sometimes stay in bed for hours, sometimes even days, just staring at his wall. It was before Eret had even come out as bisexual all those years ago and there were a lot of self hatred going on in the other mans head. They usually talked about everything and they kept no secrets from each other except for Wilbur. He always carried around a secret which he told no one and the other had always wondered what that secret might be. Now he knew. 

Now he understood why his parents had found out about his love for other men and why he hid away random objects or stared into corners which had seemed to hold no meaning. He had never understood why Wilbur could lay in bed for so long or why his mood could change so quickly at mentions of small things or why he could just run off and later come back looking destroyed. No longer did he have to wonder why he got into bar fights or lit fires on the schoolground where he had spent his first years of learning. No longer were there questions unanswered about why Wilbur was like he was. 

He used to have a best friend and someone he always trusted. He had someone in this world which he loved with his whole and he had someone who he longed for more than anyone else. He was in love, truly in love, with someone who had left him behind without a word and without even trying to send something to tell that he was alive and well. Wilbur had not only been mourning the death of his parents this whole time- he had been mourning his friend and the boy which he loved. 

His parents had left a deep scar in him as his dad used his knife that night, but it was because of Dream which it had all happened. Dream which had seemed to grow into becoming a very respected cop who kept order in the city with no fear. Eret found him very attractive with the blond strands of hair which seemed to be falling over his cheeks which were dotted with freckles. He had eyes which he guessed used to be very green- now they were covered by a mask and looked more dull. 

He had never seen Dream and he had no memory of the boy ever existing but he guessed that he too had lived here once upon a time with them and that is how they had met. He wondered what had happened between the two for ending up in such different ways because from what he knew Wilbur was not the only one who had been trying to get contact. 

Wilbur had once sat up all night waiting for the clock to tick and to turn until it was time for him to meet his long lost friend. At the time he had no idea who it was or why Wilbur had been so determined to sit there on the couch in front of the fireplace just waiting out time, but now he understood. Now he knew that his friend was still in love with the boy after all these years even if it seemed like it was not going too well for him. 

Dream had once again broken his heart and he had one again left Wilbur to stay in bed not wanting to eat and barely being able to even move. Eret hated Dream’s guts for it and he projected all his anger out on the other even if he knew it was wrong since he had no idea of their full story. He was not aware of what Dream had gone through or what had happened for him to end up here and like this- he had no idea in knowing and so he was probably not supposed to be judging him. But he could not help it, Wilbur was once again here and it all had to do with the cop with the blond hair. 

Eret placed down the bowl on the little nightstand which was sitting next to the brunet’s bed, gently as to make sure the soup did not spill all over him or down on the floor. Wilbur had cleaned it just a few days ago and it would only be an insult to spill food all over it. Especially now when he did not seem to have any energy to fix it or try and clean the floor once again. Wilbur laid on his side and watched his every move, following him with his eyes. 

Eret sat down on his bed and put a hand on his shoulder, gently rubbing on his arm as to try and bring him some sort of comfort as his friend kept looking at him with red and puffy eyes which still had some sort of trail of the tears which he had cried. His hair was a mess as it rested on the pillow underneath his head and his cheeks were once again stained because of the salty tears. Eret sighed softly. 

“Wilbur, please you have to get up.” He mumbled and the only response he got from Wilbur was him blinking. He did not even try to open his mouth to get a few words out and he did not try to sit up or move to show that he had heard him. It was like talking to a cat, they just stared at you and gave no response. You could only assume that they had understood the words in which you had spoken and that they had gotten the meaning behind them. Wilbur pushed himself further down against the mattress and the pillow. 

Wilbur did not want to, he could not find the energy in himself to try and get up even if he felt bad for it. He felt guilty since he knew Eret was trying his best to once again take care of him when he came to be like this. He did not deserve the kindness which was handed to him and he did not deserve to be taken care of like this when he barely gave anything back. Sure, he always tried his best for his friends but they were too good and too kind for him. He swallowed the lump which was growing in his throat. 

“Tommy misses you, he wants to know if you are okay.” Eret kept going and this time he saw the other giving a small reaction. He looked up further and moved underneath the sheets but he did not try to sit up or anything like that. He knew that Wilbur felt bad about leaving Tommy like this and making him worry but he really could not find it in himself to try and get up. It made him feel worse and so he ran his hand over his face, trying to wipe away the stains which rested on his cheeks and to help him wake up slightly. 

“Wilbur, I know it hurts but please…” The other kept on silently begging him, doing anything and everything to get his friend out of the bed and on to his legs once more. He had almost had to carry him into bed last night and he hoped he would not have to carry him out of bed today. It would not be fun and it would be incredibly depressing for everyone else to see. Although mostly everyone in the household was already aware of the events at this point since Wilbur was not himself anymore and that the two younger boys had spilled what was going on. 

They were all worried and he understood that Wilbur was not up for getting out there, but staying in bed all day was not the answer either and so he was here. Wilbur seemed to be contemplating getting up though and so Eret hoped it was working and that he was finally getting somewhere with the other. 

“Is he okay?” Wilbur’s strained and tired voice came out and it made the other smile as he nodded, giving him a simple and clear answer.

“A little shaken up, yes. But otherwise he is alright. That boy is strong, Will. You should not underestimate him.” 

Tommy had been very shaky after the night's events and he had hugged on to his friend Tubbo as if life depended on it. Tubbo had been holding his friend tightly and made sure that he was taken good care of once he had walked downstairs to see what was going on or what was happening. He had been shocked to say the least when he saw the scene in front of him but he had not hesitated to run towards Tommy to bring him into a hug. The two boys had always been there for each other and they all knew that they were strong.

Tommy had lots of people caring for him, Wilbur had made sure of that. Tubbo was a gift from heaven to have in the house. He was kind and caring, a good boy even though he too had quite the chaotic side while hanging out with his friends and Tommy. He was a very loving person and he was smart- his favorite subjects being science and biology. Everyday the brunet had managed to surprise them even though they in reality had no idea who he was.

They just knew that he too had been homeless like Tommy and that the two connected immediately. But they were all pretty sure that they were not family or related in any way. No one was really sure about their backstory but they were all happy to have them here and to have them among them, loving their presence and the happiness they brought to their little family. 

It took Eret a full hour to try and get the other out of bed, saying anything and everything until he managed to get the other out of bed and get him dressed properly. Wilbur had managed to brush his hair as well and his friend made damn sure that he was proud over him for doing this, especially after everything that had happened the night before. He just hoped that it would not fall backwards or that Wilbur would stay in this state for too long. But he was not sure if his wishes would help them. 

Tommy jerked his head around the minute that he saw his big brother walk into the hallway, sitting in the living room reading a book together with Tubbo by his side. Wilbur could not entirely see what book it was he was reading but it seemed like it was from his own book stash in which he had said Tommy was allowed to go through. There were a couple of good reads in there and he truly hoped the other would think so too. The blond boy quickly put down his book. 

Wilbur forced himself to smile as he stretched his arms out for the other, Tommy not missing a beat before running up to go and embrace the other. He was careful with hugging and usually not too much of a hugging character- but Wilbur knew him good enough to know that right now this is what the boy needed. He needed confirmation that they were good and that Wilbur would be okay and that is what he would give to him. 

“I don’t want you to go see him.” Tommy murmured against his shirt, letting his cheek rest against the soft material as he spoke to him in a soft manner. He felt like he was walking on eggshells and that one single step taken wrong would lead to Wilbur breaking down once again. He did not want to have him crying or seeming to be in a depressive state. He knew that it had happened before judging by the way Eret and Nikki had glanced at each other and he was not sure how he had missed it. 

Wilbur gently rubbed on the other’s back, his height challenging his own which caused a smile to erupt on his lips. He had grown so tall and it was almost hard to believe that this was the same boy he had found wandering around in the woods all by himself. He was proud over him and he truly hoped that he would reach whatever goal he had in his head. Even if he was threatening his throne of being the tallest in the household. 

Wilbur let go of him before taking a step towards Nikki who had just exited the kitchen to take a look at her friend and get a better view over how he was doing and how he was feeling. She was wiping away her hands on a small towel trying to get the last of the water off of them. It smelled like bread and he guessed that she must have been baking once more. She often tended to try and bake bread whenever she was stressed or felt like she was sad, he had noticed. Usually it was experiment bread which meant that she added nuts, berries and other herbs that she had found in the kitchen into the bread. 

She was not smiling and her hair was put up in a ponytail on the back of her head, letting the soft strands of hair fall over her back. He tried to smile at her but she did not budge, looking at him with those sad eyes of hers as she studied him and tried to understand what was happening and if this was like last time he had cut everyone off and locked himself up for several days. He shook his head gently to tell her no, but she did not look like she was taking his word for it. 

He felt like he had disappointed them, even if he knew that they were just worried. He knew that they wanted the best for him but he felt like he was hurting them while trying to get his own crap fixed up. It was not fair towards them and he truly did wish that he was better than this and that he could be a better man, a better brother and someone which they could find themselves being proud over. Maybe one day- one day he would be someone which they could be proud over. 

Their next demonstration had to be pushed up a few days more since things were very unclear between them and since the town was still flooded with cops. They were to leave over the weekend however, so that meant that either today or tomorrow they would all be gone from here and they could once again keep doing what they had planned for. He tried to find some pride in himself for those things and he tried to be happy for them in those demonstrations and the riots. 

She shook her head as she brought her hair out of the ponytail, letting it fall over her shoulders as she hurried over to his friend and embraced him. She had to stand on her toes as she wrapped her arms around him and tried to just feel him close and feel like she held him close. Wilbur was not about to push her away and so he pulled her close and held her back. He buried his head down against hers and closed his eyes, feeling the smaller girl softly cry against him. 

“You can’t go there.” She whispered softly and Wilbur knew why and he knew what it meant. But even so he kept his voice steady as he spoke. 

“I am the one in the wrong, Nikki. I have to go there.” He whispered back before glancing at his side, making sure that no one was trying to listen in on them or try to make a word out. It seemed like Tommy had gone back to his place on the couch together with Tubbo and Eret was making sure that the place looked tidy while folding the blankets and putting them in a basket by the couch. They looked so ordinary like this, it was hard to tell that they were seen as the scum of the town. 

“You do not owe him anything, do you hear me?” Nikki said. “You can’t go there.” He played with the blond strands and nodded against her even if he knew that he was not going to listen to her. He had to apologize, he had to do something. 

Everything inside of him was hurting and everything inside of him was screaming to not do it. But then there was that one single voice which was urging him to just say goodbye, to just say that he was sorry before leaving once again. He had not stepped a foot on that street ever since Dream had disappeared and now he was going to. He had to fight the pain because he knew that it would haunt him forever if he did not. 

So many years had he spent regretting not talking more to him or going over to his house. He had spent so many years regretting not taking that extra step and he could not make the same mistake once more just because he had fucked up and turned into the mess which he was now. He was not sure how long he was going to last doing this and he just wanted to end it all, to give up and let Dream be something in the past. 

But he couldn’t. 

He let go of Nikki and turned to Eret, looking at him as he turned up from his tidying to stare back at his friends. Eret knew and he hoped that Eret understood as well that he had to do this and that there would be no one to stop him from going there. The other male gave a soft nod to him, confirming that he was on his side and that would try and help him to sneak out tonight. 

** - - - - - * *

It felt like deja vu as he once again sat on the couch looking at the clock, just like this mess had started. The clock which seemed to be haunting his name and screaming at him that this had stared badly and therefore would end in the same way. He knew that this could be the end of him and that Dream could have brought all of his friends over there to silence him once and for all or take him in for homosexuality. There were now proof that he was indeed a homosexual besides only supporting it. He was doomed and he would from now on be viewed as a criminal among the people which he had grown up around. 

His own neighbours would turn on him and the only people by his side would be the friends which were like him or supported the riots. There was no turning back now and if he did end up getting wounded or even worse, that was the way of the world. He just hoped that he would be able to escape the prison or the therapy which he knew Dream had gone through, fearing the one thing which had given him light and warmth throughout the years. He feared the jolts and the electricity. The very thing in his home. 

He knew he was late already as he looked at the clock. The clock was telling him that he was supposed to have been there for around twenty minutes ago and that he was already falling behind. Dream might have left already or his friend and he was getting bored and might just storm his house and grab him from the couch right here. He did not want them in his house, he did not want them close to his family. 

Wilbur slowly stood up from the couch before taking one last glance at the clock, the silence in the house being deafening as he narrowed his eyes trying to not fall over anything in the house as he made his way towards the front door. He searched for his coat before swinging it over his shoulders. It was already cold outside and he knew he would regret not bringing it and so he let the heavy material fall over his figure before exiting his house and making his way out into the darkness. 

He made damn sure to lock the door just in case someone from the police would try to go and find his friends. He was also afraid that someone who hated them a little extra would try to break in and hurt his friends and so he carried a key with him at all times after leaving the house. He did not want them to be in any danger. 

Walking over to that street was something he had done one too many times in his life, he could probably walk it in his sleep as he made his way over the sand covered streets underneath his feet. His shoes scratched against the ground which was something he liked to listen to. He felt like a ghost walking along the streets and so hearing his own footsteps worked like a comfort for him as he made his way down towards the house which had been empty for so many years. 

No one had ever moved in after Dream left, why he was not sure. But the first year he had always kept his hope up that it was because Dream was going to return and that the house on Patches-street still belonged to them. It was not until he asked the authorities about the owner for the house, getting laughed at as they said no one had their name written on that house and that no one wanted it. They even had joked that it was his if he had the money for it. Ten year old Wilbur had been too sad to respond before leaving them to their laughs. 

But now after all these years he was standing in front of the house again, the house which was built in a comforting wooden structure and small windows which were covered in a nice pattern carved into the wood. To anyone looking at it, it seemed to be the perfect family home. But to Wilbur it was a demon- taunting him and reminding him of all the good things he once had when he was just a small young boy. God knows how many times he had hoped that those walls would once again know love and laughter. 

The house was not really big, but it was not too small either. It was slightly secluded from the other buildings lining up the streets which he never really had paid attention to as a child. Now it did however since there was quite the yard between this house and the next one. It would take a lot for anyone to hear if he was screaming or if he got killed here. No wonder Dream had wanted him to come here. 

Wilbur pulled himself together before walking closer to the door, his hair flowing in the wind as those curls let themselves fly around his head and into his face. His hand seemed to be moving on its own as he raised it up to gently knock against the hardwood of the door. He caught himself holding his breath as his eyes scanned the door, his heart beating painfully hard inside of his chest as he waited. 

He felt almost like he was panicking as he stood there, not sure on what he was supposed to do or what to even say. How was he supposed to look at him in the eyes after everything that he had done, after jumping onto him like he had last night? It was sick and Wilbur wished that he could just turn around and go back home, why was he still even here trying to do this? Was this whole thing even worth it? 

Just as he was about to turn around and walk away, the door in front of him clicked which made him look up towards it. He watched as the door opened slowly and revealed a Dream standing there in only long sleeves and a thick vest. He also wore a soft pair of pants and he looked like he was just taking it easy which felt strange to see. He had not seen the other in such relaxed clothing ever- but then again there were a lot of years which had passed between them. 

Wilbur stood there for a second and just looked at those green eyes. The wind was blowing against his cheeks and he had to make sure that his mouth did not fall open as he looked at the other. He was beautiful in the moonlight with his hair falling down freely except one small braid which he must have done out of boredom. It was beautiful and neatly done and Wilbur wanted to reach out and touch it but he made sure to keep his hands to himself. Dream was beautiful, too beautiful. 

Dream leaned against the doorway and looked at him back, not smiling but not frowning either. It was quiet between them as they were both standing still with their thoughts running wild inside of their heads. Wilbur was not sure on what to do or what to say, hating himself for feeling this way around the other and hating himself for still caring about the blond. He swallowed, hoping that the other was not hearing all the thoughts screaming inside of him. 

“It’s cold,” Dream said quietly. “You should come inside.” Dream moved to the side to let the other in, and Wilbur nodded before stepping in the house and letting the smell of old erupt around him. It was not a typical old house but it had been empty for so long that it almost felt like it was. It felt strange to be there, his mind switching between feeling unsettled and safe. He was in Dream’s old house, he was really here. With Dream. 

Dream closed the door behind them as Wilbur looked at the walls, taking it all in and trying to keep his mind steady and calm. It felt surreal and weird to be here, especially since last night and since they were on very shaky terms with each other. He was not sure on what to think or if he was even meant to be here, he did not want to be here but at the same time he knew that he needed to. He knew he needed to be here with him and he knew that he had to end things because if he did not- he would never be able to move on. He would forever be stuck in the rollercoaster which was Dream. 

His fingers gently let themselves run down the wall, touching it and trying to remember himself as a child being here together with him. He wished his child self could see him now and somehow be proud that he was back, that he was happy that after all this time he would once again see the inside of these walls. But he also knew that younger Wilbur would never forgive him for fucking this whole thing up so bad, he knew that he would never be able to forgive himself for doing this. 

He let his fingers draw back at that thought, turning around to look at Dream who was watching him without looking angry. Why was he not angry? After everything that had happened he had every reason in the world to be pissed off and to want to hurt him for the things he had done. But even so Dream looked like he was calm and in a way… happy? It was strange and almost suspicious. 

“I was starting to wonder if you would show up or not. I got worried.” Dream’s voice was soft, almost too soft. It soothed him and it made him slowly want to melt into it, to melt into him. There were a few candles lighting up the house which just made the whole scene feel even more serene and Wilbur was no longer sure if he was supposed to feel safe or if this was true. Maybe this was some sick joke the other was pulling, making him feel safe when in reality he was not. He should probably be on his guard for now. 

“I was not entirely sure if you really wanted me here.” Wilbur answered honestly and the other nodded in understanding, his expression faltering for a second as he understood what the other was getting at. The brunet bit his lip not sure if it had been the right thing to say, he was no longer sure about what was wrong or what was right. 

Dream moved closer to him, standing right besides him and locking their eyes together before gently moving his hand up and placing them on top of Wilbur’s shoulders. He grabbed a hold of the coat and gently slid it off the other, making sure to not look away as he did so. Wilbur was not sure on what he was supposed to think or feel as the other stood so close and helped him with his coat, he was not sure if he liked it or not. 

He did not fight it, however, just letting it happen as the other grabbed his coat and hung it on one of the hooks which were still there after they had moved out so many years ago. There were so many questions in his head and Wilbur was not sure on where he was supposed to start or if he was even going to ask them to him. For now he decided to keep his mouth shut and see where things went. Hopefully he will make it home safely tonight. 

“You made sure you were not followed this time, right?” Wilbur raised an eyebrow at him as to silently ask him what the hell he meant at that and the other just laughed softly. 

“I do not want to be smacked unconscious again.”

Wilbur was not sure if he was going to laugh or if he was going to groan. It was ridiculous and all but it was also quite embarrassing that the two boys had decided it was a good day and a very incredible idea to go over and knock a cop out just because they felt like it. It was funny that he brought it up and in everything it was slightly funny. He would really have to talk to Tommy and Tubbo about that later, though. 

Wilbur let himself smile though, following the other into the living room where another candle rested against the window. It was lightening up the room together with the other candles as it looked out over the night outside of them. It was beautiful even if it looked like it was straight out of a horror movie. If this was his way to go, he was not going to complain. 

“How did you even get in here?” Wilbur asked as he got handed a soft blanket from the other. He had pulled it out of a bag which was resting against the wall and was hard to spot in the dark. Wilbur wondered if the other had planned this all along or if he had stolen things from the police station. Either option did not sound too unlikely in all honesty and Wilbur chuckled at that. 

Dream pulled out a small key out of his pocket, a key which had a slight “C” engraved on it. He recognized the key and it was not until now that he understood that the C stood for Clay, his real name. He usually never got called on in class and he had even asked the teachers to not refer to him by his name. Why Wilbur was never really sure but he guessed that it was just some normal child's play which was not too incommon. Now, he was no longer sure. 

“I never got rid of it, I kept it around and I am quite happy that I hid it from my parents. Came in pretty handy today.” He explained before sitting down on the floor, Wilbur following but making sure that there was a meter or two between them so as to not make it more uncomfortable. He did not want to be too close, he was not even sure if he was going to be able to handle it himself being so close to the blond. Dream seemed to take a note of it mentally. 

“I’m sorry.” Wilbur said in the end, the words slipping out before he even had a chance to stop it. He felt himself regretting them as fast as they left his mouth and he wished that he could just leave or that he could just hide away. It felt weird to sit next to him, especially since he had decided to just out of nowhere kiss his old best friend who even was fucking homophobic. Or well he was because he had been tortured but the point still stood. It was awkward. 

Wilbur had never gotten into relationships with anyone else before, he mostly had hookups here and there which was most of it. He had also never asked anyone out or gotten asked out and so he was not sure how being rejected was like. But he knew enough from watching his friends that it could be quite awkward and strange between both parties. Sometimes people even bullied each other for things like this and Wilbur was not sure on what to expect or what to do. 

This felt like it was worse than just casually being rejected. This felt worse and they were even supposed to be adults! They were supposed to be older than the kids doing this and they were supposed to be responsible or what not but still it felt like they were teenagers reading magazines and believing everything that was said in there. He felt stupid and he really wanted to hide away or excuse himself. 

“Will.” His name sounded like honey and he wanted to hit Dream for it, he wanted to hit him straight in the face for playing with his feelings for this and he was almost curious if Dream was high at this point from the change in his mood. It did not sit right with him, something felt like it was up. 

“You have to understand one thing.” He kept going as Wilbur brought his knees up to his chest, hugging them while looking at his childhood friend and feeling the way his chest swirled and ached. He wanted to die, he wanted to run from there but somehow he stayed still in his place as he watched the candles illuminate the light on Dream’s face. The room was so quiet and empty, all the furniture gone with only the wallpaper keeping them company in there. 

“Every thought, every look and especially every word made me endure that chair and that table, Will. My thoughts and my feelings were now turned against me and caused me a world of pain. A world which I will never forget. A world which I still live in.” 

Every word stung and hit him like a brick. He knew this and he understood it all, so why did it still hurt to listen? It felt like he was intruding on the others head and that he was looking around at things which he should not rummage through. It was painful and he did not even want to imagine what the other had felt. At least he understood some of it, his fathers words still haunting him till this day. 

“I can’t get close to you without feeling it.” His pain was showing itself as he spoke and being evidence that there was something wrong with him, that he had endured things which he never should have felt from the beginning. It was hard to listen but even so the brunet staid still on the floor with his knees to his chest, breathing softly into the air as the small warmth from the candles rested against his skin. The blanket was comforting as well, embracing him and holding him warm. 

“I just have to look at you and suddenly those straps are on me and the blinking red lamp hangs over my head.” The other was looking down towards the candle now, fiddling with his fingers and at the sleeve of his shirt as his own blanket hung over him. Wilbur watched him and felt a tinge of guilt spread through his chest, hearing that it was his fault and that he was the one making this all worse by his actions and by his words. 

He never wanted to hurt him, and he should have known that the trauma would erupt itself every time he brought it up. But still there was something more which was hiding underneath it all and Wilbur wanted to know what it was that he was missing. He made sure to keep himself quiet while listening to the other, ignoring the sound of his own blood rushing through his ears. 

“It hurts so much, Will. It all hurts so much that I can’t sleep and that I can’t help but to look around me in fear that they will come back for me. I feel it, even when it’s not there.” They locked eyes again, and Wilbur could see the fear as clear as day in there. There was no longer a mask hiding it and covering up everything he was feeling, and Wilbur was not sure what was going on. 

Why had he suddenly snapped like this? Why was he suddenly telling him all of this and what was the cause behind it? He wanted to know and everything inside of him screamed that he had to know and that he wanted to know. He had not spent seventeen years just to not get to know, he had not spent so many years questioning what had happened or what was going on or if there would ever be a chance between them. 

But Dream was hurting, and he was the cause of it. He had not even tried and somehow he had managed to be selfish enough to trigger the other with his actions and shoving things down his throat. He was taunting him and slowly hurting him which was wrong on so many levels. He had never meant for this to happen, he had never meant for things to be like this. 

Wilbur was careful as he scooted over to sit next to his old friend, crawling over the floor and to sit next to him. He offered his hand out and Dream took it, intertwining their fingers before leaning his head against his shoulder. 

The whole world could light themselves up with lights and candles, they could fire as many fireworks as they wanted but nothing would make him feel like he felt right now. Nothing in the world could replicate this feeling which he was feeling. Having Dream close and being able to bring him comfort, having the blond trusting him and just being close was something which was breaking him but in a good way. It was tearing down negativity in him and replacing it with hope and with wonder. 

“I never meant to hurt you.” Wilbur finally spoke, and the other nodded. 

“I know.” Dream let his thumb gently stroke against the brunet’s hands, hands which were slightly larger than his which was not something too surprising. But even so they were softer and nice to hold, warm and comforting. Dream could not help but find himself smiling while trying to ignore the fear which was building up inside of his chest and threatening to choke him to death.

“They won’t hurt you. Not when I am here.” Wilbur whispered before laying his head against the others, feeling the body besides him tremble slightly from his words. He understood in a way, he had been the same once Eret had told him about the whole thing of being bisexual. It had been scary and he had feared for the other's life and kept looking over his shoulder. People were always out to hurt them and so it was frightening, but he had never gotten tortured because of it like Dream had. 

“You kissed me,” His words were choked out, forced out of him and Wilbur was quick to grab onto his hand harder. He looked towards the wall and could only imagine seeing him and younger Dream sitting there, leaning against the wall in a similar way but twenty years younger. He could only see them there, sitting like this and seeing his younger self look at him. Although in his view there were no tears and there was no pain. 

He only saw two boys holding on to each other, happy and tired resting against each other as the fire danced and sang lullabies to get them to sleep. It was so calm and he wished that things had been just like it was back then. Once he blinked, however, the view of him and younger Dream disappeared and instead there was once again the empty wall in front of them. Wilbur shook his head gently before leaning against Dream once again. 

“You kissed me and suddenly I was in the white room again.” He stilled slightly besides him and Wilbur made his best to try and be supportive, placing a soft kiss on top of his head. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you.” Dream mumbled and nuzzled in closer, forcing himself to breathe softly once more. Wilbur was not one to refuse as he closed his eyes and just tried to enjoy the embrace, his blanket laying beside him after having fallen off getting closer to the other. He hummed quietly. 

“You don’t have to apologize, I should have understood. I should not have done that to you.” His whole body felt alive and awake, every nerve making themselves known as Dream looked up at him and gently touched him. His touch which left fire stains after them- feeling warm against his skin and almost burning him as he looked at the other male. His heart was not calming down and his lungs craved to be filled with more oxygen. 

“Wilbur?” He asked softly. He nodded. 

Dream managed to wiggle himself out of the embrace, instead of sitting next to the other he stood on his knees in front of him, inching closer and making the distance between them smaller as he went. Wilbur had stopped breathing, watching those green eyes which were filled with so much fear but also curiosity and something else. It was too dark to tell, but he could only imagine how those emeralds were shining right now as he got closer to him. 

“Is it safe?” 

“I will never let them take you away from me again.” 

Dream’s hands were careful as they rested against Wilbur’s cheeks, cupping them before slowly letting his lips touch the others, tasting him and climbing into his lap. 

Their chest was tightly pressed against each other and Wilbur snaked his arms around the other and pressed him closer, holding him strongly as to prove that he was safe and that he was not going to let go any time soon. It was just them in the middle of the night in Dream’s old living room, surrounded by candles which were the only ones to share their secret about what was going on in the room.

It was a strange thing, to kiss in the very room which had seen them get parted from each other. The house in which the blond had lived in when they had met and when their journey had started. The house which had stood empty for so long as it waited for the two boys to return to each other and once again meet away from everyone else. 

Dream was sweet to kiss as he tasted him on his lips, letting his lips dance against the other as all their emotions poured out. So many years of holding back and so many years of pain and hoping were getting spilled out all over the floor as they embraced each other. It was something else and Wilbur felt himself losing himself in it. 

Small tears escaped from Dream, running down his cheeks as he kept kissing the other. His whole body was trembling and so Wilbur pulled away, looking at the man in his lap and wiped away the tears which were falling. 

“You’re safe, I got you.” He reassured as his hand played with the blond strands of hair, trying to prove that he was really there and that things were okay. He had no idea how he was going to prove that he would guard the other with his life and that he would never let him go through such a terrible fate ever again. He was trying to show it with his actions and he was trying to promise him as best as he could that he no longer had to fear white rooms and red blinking lights. He was safe. 

Dream threw himself forward, knocking Wilbur over and letting his back fall against the floor as he nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck. He was laying over his chest and Wilbur was taken by surprise, but he did not waste a second of not holding the other as he rubbed on his back in a soft manner. If this was heaven, then he had found it. All those years were starting to matter, all those hopes and all those dreams were finally playing their part. 

“The therapy never worked, I couldn’t stop. No matter how many times it never went away.” Wilbur closed his eyes as he rested his lips against the other’s temple, gently placing soft kisses and rubbing circles over his back. 

“I love you, no matter what they did I could never stop.” Dream lifted him up slightly, just so that their noses were slightly brushing against each other as he looked at the boy who rested underneath him. To him, he was the most beautiful person out there and nothing in the whole world could change it. Wilbur smiled at him softly, nodding as to show that he understood. 

“I never stopped waiting for you, I was always home waiting for you.” Now Dream finally smiled, a smile which was pure and filled with so much joy and happiness as everything he had kept inside of him finally spilled out and rested on the table. Everything which he had hidden for so long was finally out and he no longer had to wonder, he no longer had to be scared. He wanted to stay, he never wanted to go back. 

“I love you,” He whispered as Dream let his fingers follow the contour of Wilbur’s features, letting them rest against his pale skin and let them memorize the feeling of him once again. 

“Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the ending, and that it was sweet enough.   
> After everything they have been through i thought they deserved a somewhat happy ending and that this will find some comfort for others.   
> Especially for Dream in this story, I want to say that torture is one thing which makes people do weird things which are out of character. He never meant to hurt Wilbur, he never meant to do half the things he did. But fear is a very controlling thing, but it is not the biggest thing out there. Hope is bigger, and that is what made him survive and what made him try to fight back the fear ruling him.   
> I wanted it to be a symbol, especially in days like these were hate rule over us and destroys each other. We see it in racism, homophobia, everything. But in the end these things can try to destroy us, it will hurt but we will be able to get over it and conquer it. We are stronger than fear and that is what I wanted to say with this ending. 
> 
> I hope this clears a few things up about the summary and that it can help everyone to understand what I wanted to do. 
> 
> I also want to once again thank you all for being here and leaving comments, kudos and everything. I am forever grateful and I have cried in joy seeing you speak about this fic. It will never be forgotten and I hope that one day I can move from AO3 and become a true author. Thank you all so much, without you I would never have gotten this far. 
> 
> Please never forget to take care of each other! And once again if you ever do anything related to this fic, no matter how small, please tag me and let me see! My social medias are in my bio, you are of course free to contact me as well. Thank you so much <3


	17. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being here, once again I am forever grateful. Enjoy the Epilogue!

It was only in the forest by the rocks which they truly felt safe. 

It was when sitting on the boulders which Dream smiles the brightest and really let himself laugh and show his emotions openly. It was only when it was them two by the rocks which had started it all when they felt like there were no eyes watching them and that there were no one around to witness whatever it was they were doing. It was their safe spot and Wilbur would not give it up for anything in the world.

It was here where Dream kissed him with no fear and it was here that he did not look over his shoulder to make sure that no one was nearby. He felt safe here and Wilbur did too, never wasting a second with the other as they returned to their place which they had found when they were just two young boys wanting their own place to play at, when there was no such thing as hate or fear ruling them or deciding about their actions. 

Wilbur would never get tired of seeing the other stand on the rocks with flowers in his hair and a small braid hanging by his side. He would never get tired of seeing the full grown man smile as he stood on top of their boulders looking out over the forest and the moss covered ground which they had loved to run over. They were no longer using sticks as swords or guns, instead they held each other's hands. 

Wilbur’s favorite activity was to bring his guitar out and sit and play as Dream picked flowers or made flower crowns for them and for his friends back home. He also loved it whenever Dream decided to softly sing along with him with a smile ruling over his face as he looked at his lover with joy. Sometimes they would even dance with each other, dancing around among the flowers and just enjoying the feeling of being free with nothing to fear. 

It was their safe space and nothing in the world could change it and Wilbur had never felt so happy in his life. All of those dreams and all of those thoughts and prayers had come true even if there were a few downsides to it. He had always wanted this, even if it was not completely like he had imagined. 

Dream was terrified to hold his hand while walking down the street and Wilbur could tell that the other tensed up whenever he got too close if there were any risks of anyone seeing them. Dream truly did try his best but he could not help but to look over his shoulder or scan over the area as if someone was going to jump onto him and attack him if he got too close to Wilbur. His lover did everything he could on the other hand and made sure that he did keep a distance between them and that he acted as if Dream was nothing more than a mere friend to him. He did anything to help the other feel safe. 

Dream would never stop apologizing for it, saying sorry every time when they walked through the doors to get to Wilbur’s house. He would always try and hug him and tell him that he loved him as he said sorry and Wilbur always reassured him that it was fine and that they did not have to do anything he did not like. For that, Dream would forever be grateful as he looked at the brunet. 

They had shared such similar thoughts about each other, always longing for each other without knowing the other felt safe. Even if they had gone through different things and both had experienced pain, the love had never seemed to stop existing as they lived their lives and Wilbur had never felt such a relief in his life as Dream told him that he too had felt like him. He had never understood what those simple words could mean but he was happy that he did, his heart swirling inside of his chest as he looked into those green eyes. 

They were planning on moving out and they were thinking about a house which was lying very close to Wilbur’s since he did not want to be too far away from the others. He did not want to leave his friends behind or make them feel like he was leaving them as he made plans on moving out and getting a house of his own together with the man which he had kept a secret from them for all these years. 

He had finally told them about his childhood and why he had done the things which he had done, Eret being the most proud over him as he thanked him and hoped him the best for the future. Tommy on the other hand made sure he kept a close eye on the old cop, making sure that he was not out to hurt his elder brother. But over time he started to grow more friendly to him and became more accepting about him. He was starting to see him as who he was, Wilbur’s old best friend and the man which his brother loved. 

They never did anything in front of the others besides holding hands or smiling at each other since Dream was still paranoid even if he knew that no one in this household would hurt him. It felt safer that way and so Wilbur understood and kept standing by his side and trying to support him no matter what.

Dream still seemed to have nightmares and he had woken up one too many times shaking and trembling in fear. Most of the time Wilbur could only talk to him and not touch him until the other had calmed down as the fear of the white room haunted his mind, threatening to take him back the moment he looked at the brunet man who spent every night by his side and holding him. 

They were worse some nights, some nights when Dream could barely calm down for a full hour until he let the other get close to him once again. Those nights were especially hard but the more nights passed, the better it got. The more time that passed the more Dream woke up and instead of pushing Wilbur away, the more he started to nuzzle closer up to him to seek protection. He was starting to feel safer and trusting him more as his mind got away from the electricity which had once rummaged through his body like fire. The pain dulled over time, and Wilbur was proud over him. 

He was so proud and he always stayed by his side, making sure that Dream trusted him and that he held him whenever something felt wrong. When they finally had their own house, it got better and Dream started to let loose slightly more around Wilbur when they were there. Instead of just having the forest, they now also had their own home. 

They had a home where Dream could hide away from the public hatred and be himself and love Wilbur like he had always wanted to do. Sure, sometimes he would still be paranoid and yell at Wilbur to not get too close or that he had to stay away because he could almost feel the pain, but it happened very rarely. But when it did, Wilbur was there to comfort him. 

Their house was nothing which stood out too much, it was mostly looking like an ordinary house which could belong to anyone. Although Wilbur had managed to get some vinyls up to litter the wall which Dream had let slide. It was a nice touch and it made it feel a little more like home. He enjoyed it, and he hoped that one day he would too be able to hang up something which he liked on the walls. Although he was not sure on what, yet. 

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

A soft cry was heard in the house before the door flew open, revealing the small one standing there with a scrape over his knee. Wilbur was the first one to jolt to the door to let the younger child in. 

“Did you fall off your bike?” He asked and the other nodded, his hands being dirtied down and filled with small scrapes from stones and twigs which had littered the road and dug into his skin once he had fallen. His pants were also slightly ripped over his knee to reveal a little bit of blood peeking out, showing evidence that it had been quite the fall and that the child was in pain. Wilbur bit his lip as he lifted the child into his arms. 

“Should we go and take a look then? Maybe you can try one of your new bandages?” He asked with a smile and the kid in his arms nodded as he wiped away the tears from his cheeks, looking over to his side to see his other father run into the room. 

“Is he okay? What happened?” Dream did not waste a second until he ran up to the other and looked at his knee, inspecting it through the pant leg and grabbing a hold of his child’s hand to hopefully bring him some sort of comfort. The wound was not too bad, but Wilbur had learned that Dream was quite the mother hen and would always get worried over the slightest of things. It was adorable and so Wilbur smiled as he shook his head. 

“Look love, you are even braver than daddy.” The child giggled as Dream shot him a glare, silently cursing before looking back at the wound. 

Wilbur carried their little one into the kitchen where he placed him on the counter, letting some water run before grabbing a towel and gently letting the water run over it as to get it wet. He then proceeded to gently let it dab against the wound and try and get it cleaned up, his son whimpering slightly as Dream sat besides him and rubbed on his back while whispering soft things to him to comfort him. 

When it was all cleaned up, Wilbur grabbed one of the bandages which they had gone out to buy just a few days prior and placed it carefully over the wound. It was not a special bandage, but the small boy seemed to be in quite the happy place as he saw it and gasped. 

“That looks so cool!” He exclaimed and Wilbur laughed before ruffling his hair and placing a kiss on his forehead, grabbing a hold of him and letting him off the counter. The boy pretended to be disgusted, wiping away the kiss and accidentally managing to tangle himself up in the brown curls which rested on his head. It made Dream shake his head and laugh. 

“Bye!” He yelled before running out again, going to find his friends once more and leaving Wilbur and Dream to themselves in the kitchen. 

Wilbur looked at the other who had grown his hair long enough to put it up in quite the cute ponytail. It was adorable and he reached his head to play with it, his fingers running through it and twirling it around. Dream hummed above him as he sat on the counter, smiling softly towards his lover. 

“He is getting big.” 

“Indeed, wasn’t it yesterday when we adopted him?” 

Wilbur hopped up to sit next to the other, wrapping his arm against him and placing a kiss on his cheek. It was soft and warm and finally Dream was starting to let him be affectionate like this outside of a locked door or in the forest. It was a peaceful and loving home and he loved it quite the lot, especially since Elliot had entered their life. It had been quite the mess at first, but they were slowly getting used to it. 

“He reminds me of you, always managing to get into stupid accidents.” Dream muttered besides him, causing the other to laugh. 

“As if you did not do the same.” 

They leaned their heads against each other and decided to just sit in silence for a second, only listening to each other's breaths as they sat in the kitchen in their own house which they had spent a few years working on putting together. It was a very nice house, even if Tommy had told them it missed a few things such as a rock collection. Once or twice they had actually managed to find a few rocks sitting on their cupboards because of Tommy tricking their son into bringing them into the house. It was a mess, but it was kinda funny. 

They lived normally, and to everyone else it looked like they were just taking care of a child together and that there was nothing going wrong. The only people who truly knew they were together were Wilbur’s face, Dream not telling his own and saying that it was cheaper to live with someone than to live alone. To George and Nick, Wilbur was nothing more than a childhood friend. He liked to keep it that way for now. 

“I love you, you weirdo.” Wilbur giggled and the other rolled his eyes. 

“I love you too, but only if you take care of dinner today.” 

Wilbur narrowed his eyes as he looked at the other, peeking his tongue out. “You are the devil in disguise, you know that right?” 

Dream giggled as he jumped off the counter, winking at his lover before making his way to the living room and trying to put all the toys back into the basket and leaving Wilbur alone in the kitchen. The brunet smiled to himself as he looked at the man he loved, wondering how the hell he had managed to end up here. Had anyone ever said that this would be his life ten years ago, he would have laughed. 

But now he was just smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is way longer than i had expected it to be, I am honestly surprised I managed to write this all in a little more than a month. It is insane. Thank you all so much. 
> 
> Take care of each other, I love you all so much. 
> 
> Goodbye <3 /Lex


End file.
